On the train to Hogwarts one particular white ferret and one particular know-it-all met.
"Hello, Mudboold."
"Hello, Pureblood."
"So where is Scarhead and Weasel?"
"Don't know. When you see them, tell them I said hi."
"Trouble in paradise?"
"You get to the paradise when you are dead, Malfoy. I'm not dead, as you can see... At least, not yet."
Then Ron showed up.
"Malfoy, Hermione."
"Hello Ronald."
"Already friends with Malfoy?"
"Of course. He is my favorite person on the world now."
"You are a bitch, Hermione."
"And very proud one at that."
"Whore!"
"Yes, and one of those you could never afford, Ronald. If you are not paying, I don't see any reason for you standing there."
"And he gets to stand here?"
"Malfoy always will have special privileges, Ronald."
"I hate you."
"The feeling is mutual, I assure you."
"You..."
"Will your tongue wag so much when I send you the bill?"
"Stay away from me!"
"I think you are the one with trouble saying away here."
"Fuck you!"
"No thanks. You already did that and it wasn't enjoyable."
Of course now Weaselbee left feeling angry with just the right red tone on his face to support this sophisticated, intellectual emotion.
"Shit. Will you marry me, Mudblood?"
"Sure."
"I'm the man, yeah!"
"We will see that on the wedding night."
"Why wait?"
And after this ride they lived happily ever after, ruling the world till the end of time.