This story is a continuation of my earlier stories Love Leads to Isolation and The New Year's Resolution. It is not necessary to read those first, but please feel free if you like!
The inspiration for this story came from two Shamy scenes that have always stayed with me. One from The Big Bear Precipitation episode and one from The Commitment Determination episode.
Enjoy and so sorry for all the angst. Hang in there!
Disclaimer: TBBT characters are not mine.
Amy began to shiver slightly from the cold. She gingerly reached over her chest to replace the fallen afghan she had wrapped around her shoulders. She was very careful in her movements as to not spill the mug of hot chamomile tea in her hands. 'Correction', she thought as she took a small sip. The mug of tepid chamomile tea currently in her hands.
'How long have I been sitting here?' she pondered. Amy looked down at her watch. "Oh my!" she said out loud. Amy set her mug down on the coffee table and moved her feet out from under her. With a groan, she set them on the floor and rose to stretch in front of the cozy brown suede sofa.
She looked to her left to check on the fire in the large beautiful fire place. Yep, still burning brightly. Amy was reminded of the time, so many years ago, when her two favorite physicists began formulating a plan to start a fire in that very same fireplace. They had gone on and on about the laws of basic thermodynamics when all it took was her "bestie" simply flipping a switch to set the logs ablaze. Amy smiled as she recalled their forlorn faces. She always loved it when Penny was able to 'show up' the two male scientists with her no-nonsense ways.
Amy's smile faded as she pulled the multi-colored afghan tighter and stood in front of the fire. Would she ever warm up? She knew she had lost too much weight recently making her feel colder. Her normal every day skirts were far too loose and Amy had to wear a belt just to keep them from falling off her. Excessive stress will do that to someone.
Amy crossed the room to stretch her legs and looked out the window. It was late and pitch black outside although she could hear rain falling gently on the roof. Another night alone. Another night without…Amy couldn't even bear to think his name.
She moved back to the sofa again and stretched out retrieving her small laptop from the coffee table. She opened it and tried to resume working on her research paper but she couldn't stop thinking about another document. Amy clicked on the unsigned document she had been reading earlier as it glowed on the screen. It was simply titled, The Separation Agreement.
Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, hereinafter referred to as "Spouse 1", and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper, hereinafter referred to as "Spouse 2" agree to the following:
Spouse 1 and Spouse 2 were lawfully married May 2018 in Pasadena, California. Because certain problems have developed between Spouse 1 and Spouse 2, they hereby agree to live separately and apart, subject to the terms and conditions as set forth below.
Amy read through the terms that she had spent hours and hours agonizing over and stopped on the final one -
This agreement is intended to be a final disposition of the matters addressed herein and may be used as evidence and incorporated into a final decree of divorce or dissolution.
Amy closed her laptop with a loud clap and squeezed her eyes shut. Just when she thought she was all cried out, the silent tears began to flow through her closed eyelids. She removed her glasses and wiped her eyes with her hands.
Amy heard a chime from her laptop and opened it again. She wiped her eyes one more time, replaced her glasses and answered the call. A teenage girl appeared on the screen.
"Hi Mom" she said standing in what appeared to be a dorm room. She was tall and thin with dark straight hair, beautiful alabaster skin and a mouth full of braces.
"Hi Sweetie" Amy replied. "Is everything okay?" she asked. She had just talked with her daughter yesterday.
"Oh, I guess" Marie replied. "I was really just calling to check on you way out there in the boonies" she teased.
"Well, I wouldn't call it the boonies" Amy said. "Maybe twenty years ago yes, but other than a few "dead" spots on the way here, this place is just as up-to-date on technology as anywhere".
"Well, that's good otherwise we wouldn't be talking now would we" Marie teased again. "How was your day Mom?" she asked with trepidation in her voice.
"Uh, fine" Amy said as she plastered a fake smile on her face. "It was fine." Trying to change the subject Amy started asking her daughter about her day. Marie, being a typical teenage girl wrapped up in her own world, took the bait and began telling Amy a funny story about her roommates finding a lizard loose in the dorm room and how Marie was the only one not afraid to pick it up and put it outside.
Amy smiled. That's my biologist, she thought.
Amy listened as Marie told her more about her roommates and her school. She was spending the fall semester of her junior year of high school studying abroad at Oxford in England. At only fifteen, Marie Constance Cooper, was one of the youngest students as part of the exchange program but also one of the brightest.
Marie had skipped a couple of years of school due to her high intelligence, and though young, Amy knew she was ready for the adventure. She reminded Amy of herself in so many ways but in addition to being smart she was also funny and very socially mature for her age. Thanks in part to having a great Uncle Leonard and Aunt Penny. Amy could never thank her best friends enough for their influence on her children. Yes, even Penny's influence. Although Amy sometimes wasn't always grateful when Penny gave advice to Marie on matters of the opposite sex.
As Marie chattered on, Amy sighed. She missed her daughter greatly. She had no idea she would feel so sad when she agreed to let her go to England for a semester. Perhaps it was the timing of it all. Her son Elliot had just left for college at seventeen this past fall. She wasn't planning on him leaving so soon but he was just as intelligent as her daughter and when he discovered he had all of the credits needed to graduate high school, he was too excited to wait another year.
Elliot Stephen Cooper was attending her Alma mater, Harvard University, studying pre-med. Amy missed him terribly and in all honesty worried more about her son than she worried about her little girl. Thankfully, Elliot seemed to be holding his own in his first semester at college but he wasn't as mature and socially adept as his sister. He reminded her more of...Amy frowned.
"Mom? Mom?" Marie's worried voice sliced through Amy's thoughts.
"Yes" Amy replied.
"What is it Mom?" she said.
"What is what?" Amy said confused.
"Mom, you look like you are about to cry. Was it something I said?" Marie asked cautiously. "I was very careful not to mention Da…" Marie cut off looking down before she finished the word.
Amy plastered on her fake smile again for her daughter. "Marie, I'm fine. Really. You do not need to avoid mentioning your Dad." Amy cleared her throat. "How is he? Have you talked with him recently?" she said through the teeth of her fake smile.
"Um, yes" Marie replied hesitantly. "Actually, I just spoke with last night."
"Oh" Amy said fighting to keep her smile. "You didn't tell him where I was, did you?" Amy asked with concern.
"No, of course not Mom. You made me promise not to" Marie frowned.
"Oh. Okay, thank you Sweetie" Amy exhaled a breath. "Um, how is he?" Amy asked again trying to keep her fake smile
Marie sighed loudly and appeared unsure as to how to proceed with the conversation.
"I'm not going to lie Mom" she said finally. "You taught me better than that. Honestly, Dad is not doing well. He looks terrible. Like he hadn't showered or shaved in days. And he looked even skinnier than normal. Mom, Dad misses you. When are you coming home?" she finally asked.
Amy could not hold her smile any longer. She turned her head away from the screen and gasped as she held back her tears. She would not burden her daughter any more than absolutely necessary with her parent's current situation. Amy composed herself and looked back at the screen.
"Marie. I need some time. Your father" Amy gulped "and I are just going through a difficult time right now."
"Mom" Marie pleaded again.
"Marie. Please stop" Amy sighed. "I don't what you to worry about that okay? You have to focus on your studies. Now, tell me more about your biology course" Amy continued.
Marie frowned but turned the conversation back to school and her studies. Amy talked with her daughter for another ten minutes and then ended the call when Marie needed to leave for her first early morning class.
After closing her laptop, Amy yawned and decided to head to bed. As she moved through the room turning off lamps she couldn't help but marvel again at how the Big Bear Lake cabin had barely changed over the years.
It had been over twenty years since she had last seen it but almost everything was still the same. Amy still could not believe it when Penny had said the same cabin of her old doctor friend was available when Amy desperately needed a place to be alone to think, a place away from…. Amy closed her eyes as she moved to turn off the fireplace and then moved the bedroom.
Ah, the bedroom. She was staying in the one that Penny and Leonard stayed in the last time they were here. She just couldn't bring herself to set foot in the other bedroom.
Amy got ready for bed and crawled under the layers of blankets and turned off the light. She stared at the ceiling, her eyes wide open. Her stomach growled slightly and she realized she had forgotten to eat dinner. Again.
Amy was glad she got to talk with her daughter and made a mental note to reach out to Elliot tomorrow just to check in on him. He was having a rough time dealing with this situation as emotions were not his strong suit. She wanted him to know that she was okay. In other words, she would lie. Oh, well, she thought. A mother protects her children.
Amy was most certainly not okay. Amy closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep but every time she did, the horrific images of the night when it all fell apart came back to her.