"Everyone feels like this," Amy thought to herself.
"It's perfectly normal, I'm not alone."
She tried to convince herself, but it doesn't help. She's not necessarily sad, and she couldn't quite place the feeling. A word to put it would be overwhelmed, but she had nothing to feel overwhelmed about. It's in days like these that she felt the most alone, even though she's eating dinner with her 9 family members. Since it was a Saturday, they'd planned on watching a movie, but the family had split up. It was just Amy and her parents watching a movie. Under normal circumstances that'd be a perfect movie night for her (considering it was with her family, but she didn't really have friends for having movie nights with), but she couldn't help but feel that her brothers were excluding her. Just the thought of it made her throat itch badly and her eyes water, so she buried her face in her hands rested her elbows on the dining table, hoping her family wouldn't notice. When she finally dared to look up, she saw her brother's arrogant grin and she's not sure what happened, but something just broke down inside of her. The world seemed to scream at her, and everything seemed to be drowning.
She stormed to her room, locking the door behind her. She knew that she's not allowed to lock her door, but she always had a key in case she just needed to be alone. Shortly after she locked the door she dropped down on her bed, sobbing into the pillow to muffle the noise: she knew for a fact that the walls were NOT soundproof. She was aware that the reason she was crying was stupid. Well, at least the reason why the waterworks STARTED was stupid. Now that she was at it, she just cried her mind out about not having friends to actually share movie nights with, being mistreated and misunderstood by her classmates and, of course, have her only friend live 2000 miles away. She just had to finish her education and then she could finally move to New York. She'd known for a while that she wanted to live there after high school to go to the police academy, just like her father before her. When Jake moved to New York, it was the trigger for her plan. She had realized in that moment that everything she wanted was there. Her dream job, thousands of opportunities and her best and only friend. She was sure that she'd be able to make friends in New York, because the odds of her not finding ANYONE she'd be compatible with were microscopic.
She had stopped crying. She realized that she would soon actually move out. She'd finally be in control of her own life. She was finally going to see Jake again, finally meet new people. She just couldn't wait to begin the new chapter of her life.
She didn't know how long she'd been staring into the ceiling when she heard a knock on her door.
"Amy, are you coming?" her mother asked so innocently as if she didn't know that her daughter had been crying, which had been obvious, Amy had to admit.
She didn't dare to answer her mother's call. Her voice was sore and would surely crack, and she hated to admit to her family that she cried.
"I know you want to watch the movie, sweetheart, and we're going to watch it with you."
Just the sound of that sentence makes Amy smile. Her mother was right. And she wasn't going to watch the movie alone, her parents wanted to watch it with her. It's in moments like these Amy feels appreciated, loved and cared for. It's in moments like these Amy feels like she belongs.