[Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, LucasArts does.]
[Sorry guys, but it's unlikely I'm going to continue after the nine chapters I'm putting up. It's a great story and concept and I've very much enjoyed writing from Obi-Wan's point of view, but Luke's part is getting tiring. I might come back to it sometime, but it'll likely only be from Obi-Wan's POV.]
[As always, I welcome reviews, criticisms and compliments. You have no idea how amazing it feels to read your reviews of my work. Even if you don't like it, tell me what you don't like about it. I'll be able to grow as a writer with every new opinion.]
I walked out of the hot twin suns of Tatooine into Old Obi-Wan Kenobi's hovel. It was still there, just a little more dilapidated than I remembered from my childhood. I'd taken some time after the Empire had been defeated to reflect on the past and my teachers in particular. I looked around the small building. Even though Obi-Wan spent the better part of nineteen years here, or so Uncle Owen told me, there was little to tell his story.
Sparse furniture and personal items populated the room. A locker behind everything caught my eye. I walked over to it and forced it open. It was stiff and old, but opened easily. I rummaged around inside. There were mostly old datapads that had lost all power. Suddenly, a beep stopped me. I moved everything aside and found a datapad that still had a few months of power left. I frowned: it had been a long time since Obi-Wan died and longer still since he'd been here.
I grabbed it and looked at the screen.
Journal
was the only word I saw. I pressed a button and several entries opened. I flicked through, and stopped dead. One of the entries was dated yesterday.
I opened it and read through it:
They say that in death, a man sees his life flash before his eyes. I've died and experienced it first-hand: it doesn't work like that.
My life has been of service to my galaxy and to peace. I have been there to learn; to teach; to be guarded and to protect. Ever since I was a very young boy, I knew that there would come a day when I would lay down my weapon and gracefully accept defeat. I would fall into my fate as though there were loving arms ready to catch me. I would be content in the knowledge that behind me I left a galaxy protected by those taught by smarter and stronger beings than me as well as myself. A man I trusted with the fate of the entire galaxy. When Anakin became my Padawan, I thought he would be that man.
I was nearly two years old when they came for me. A pair of Jedi, there to bring me to the Temple to be trained to protect the galaxy and its inhabitants. My mother and father were content to know that I would be of service to the galaxy, but that didn't stop the extreme sadness erupting from them as I was led away from them. That was the last I ever saw of my family. I then turned to the Temple and its residents as my home and family.
My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and I am a Jedi. My master was Qui-Gon Jinn, and my apprentice, Anakin Skywalker. Although I am no longer the wide-eyed student, I am still learning. Things Qui-Gon told me before his death stay with me. I am yet to find the meaning in some of them and I suppose I will never fully understand his wise words.
While I was still a Padawan, one of my closest friends was a girl a few years younger than I, called Siri Tachi. However, Siri and I did as we weren't supposed to: we fell in love. We didn't notice until we were really alone. The two of us and our masters were charged with the protection of a boy called Taly Fry and his parents from a gang of bounty hunters. We were split up from our masters and had to keep Taly safe as well as find a way back to Coruscant. Our ship crashed and we would have been glad to have died there, because we would have been together. Afterwards, Qui-Gon guessed at my feelings and there's no hiding anything from Master Yoda. The two of them gave us a choice: stay together and leave the Order; or forget about our feelings and continue within the Order. I was angry at Qui-Gon for giving me that choice when he didn't know if he could have made that choice with his love, Tahl. But he never really had time to: Tahl died before their love was realised at the Temple. Of course, Siri, being the stronger of us, decided that the Jedi was too important for both of us and we chose to ignore our feelings.
When I took Anakin as my Padawan Learner, as was the dying wish of Qui-Gon, I realised just how hard Qui-Gon worked. I realised that you never really know for certain what to say, what to keep back. It's more that you do what you feel is right at the time, and you can never really be sure that you're doing the right thing. At the beginning of our journey together, Anakin and I weren't so close: we'd both been through quite a rough time and had difficulty adjusting to new life. I tried to hurry the trust and camaraderie that came so easily with Qui-Gon, but I'd forgotten just how long it took to earn it.
From the beginning, Anakin was arrogant, sure of himself, overconfident and eager to blurt out his opinions and feelings. Quite the opposite of me at the time and he had his loving mother, Shmi, to thank for that. But now that I look back on my childhood, I see that we weren't so different after all, except that it was quite difficult for me to say my personal feelings aloud. I tried to be a good mentor for him, until I realised he needed me as a friend and as a brother as well. Once we were past that, we became brothers. We fought side-by-side for nearly thirteen years; we spoke unhindered; and I knew that our bond was limitless. Unfortunately, it didn't last.
Our bond was tested time and time again by the Clone Wars. When I exiled myself, I felt angry at Anakin for not telling that he'd married Padme and that they'd later fallen pregnant, but he knew that I was bound to be on the Council. He couldn't trust me with that and I wish we could have changed things. I wish Anakin had never met Palpatine and I wish that our bond was stronger than it was, but wishing doesn't change anything. But if I'd known that Palpatine would have a chance to corrupt my brother, I would never have let Anakin get so close to him. But 'what-ifs' and 'could-haves' are not a part of a Jedi's life.
I knew when he fell that he would fight to the death if he had to. And I knew very well that he was an excellent fighter. I knew better than anyone else: I'd taught him. It very nearly broke my heart when he challenged and attacked me, but if I didn't fight back, Luke would never have had his chance to redeem his father. Not until the battle was over, did I allow myself the tears that had been bursting to fall ever since he drew his lightsaber against me.
"You were the Chosen One!" I yelled, more at myself than at him. "You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them! You were to bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness! You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you." I found it difficult to yell through my tears, but I still shouted. When I was finished, Anakin was nothing more than a rotting, burning corpse on the ground. The new Vader rose from my brother when Sidious rescued him. But he didn't kill me and his love for Padme overruled his hate, which gave me the hope that a small part of Anakin remained within him, waiting to be resurrected.
When my death finally came, I welcomed it, knowing that Anakin would be restored by his son. Luke was so much like his father, yet so little like him. Lord Vader died when Sidious attacked his son, but Anakin never did. The prophesy was true after all: Anakin did bring balance to the Force, from a certain point of view.
"Obi-Wan wrote this yesterday?" I asked aloud.
"Indeed I did." I stood and turned. Obi-Wan's Force ghost was standing there with a knowing smile. "I waited until you had time and I knew you would return here. I wanted you to know some things, and I had no other way of telling you."
I nodded. "'A certain point of view'?"
"I thought you'd notice that. Anakin did bring balance to the Force. No one at the time of his fall was strong enough to destroy Sidious. Anakin waited patiently as Vader, until Vader snapped and killed Sidious. And the man you met as he died was your father, Anakin," Obi-Wan explained. "You were the reason he returned to his former self, Luke. He loved you very much."
I smiled mischievously. "Siri?"
"Enough explanations. You will be able to read through most of my entries and the oldest is no older than you. I doubt you will find any about her." Before I could ask anything more, Obi-Wan promptly disappeared.