Title: Drunk In Love
Summary: Kakashi doesn't drink. Iruka is not a girl. How can something be true and false at the same time? KakaIru.
Notes: Potentially skewed timeline. Kakashi is 20, Iruka is 16. Potentially incorrect historical facts and non-canon.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I also don't own the song with the same name as the title, nor does this story have any relationship with the song other than the phrasing of the title fitting the subject matter.
A/N: Hey, so after a super-long break from writing (over 10 years! :O) that hadn't been that productive even while it was actually happening, I decided to write a Victorian Naruto AU (I know, talk about jumping in the deep end). This, however, is not that Victorian Naruto AU. This is the brand new plot bunny that bit me while I was procrastinating on writing another scene because of the hours of research I would have had to do to find obscure Victorian colloquialisms for my characters to say. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
Beta'd by Futago no Seishi who made sure what goes on in my head makes sense to the outside world.
~Part 1~
Kakashi sat stiffly in the corner of a dingy bar booth, wondering (not for the first time that night) what had possessed him to accept an invitation to go drinking from Shiranui and Namiashi. Especially since he didn't drink. At all.
He gazed moodily down at his tumbler of vodka, then eyed the exit with a calculated look.
"Hey now, none of that, Kakashi-Tai... Senpai!" Genma slapped him on the back heartily, hand quickly retreating as his sloshed brain identified the beginnings of a wave of deadly intent emanating from the blank face of the young man sitting beside him.
If he'd been sober, he would have known better than to continue baiting the masked shinobi, but sober had passed him by six shots and two frou-frou drinks ago and he was feeling pretty good.
"Come on and loosen up a little!" Genma continued, earnest as only someone tipsy could do so well. "We're not on a mission, we're deep inside Fire Country and around allied civvies, and best of all, there's nobody from Konoha here to know if the famous Copy Nin had a little fun! Right, Raidou?"
Raidou, slouched slightly on the other side of Kakashi, nodded slowly. "Yeah, Senpai. Have a drink with us. After this last mission..."
Genma's eyes darkened slightly as he took another swig of his drink.
Kakashi's mind instantly flashed back to the exact scene he knew the others were thinking of. The three of them, fully clad in blood-soaked ANBU gear and perfectly anonymous except for differences in height and bulk, racing down a dim hallway with synchronized grace.
Turning the corner and encountering a young woman, heavily pregnant with child. Dark eyes widened, mouth parted to gasp...
Kakashi forcibly cleared his mind and redirected his two teammates' attention with a subtle hand signal.
Status report.
When the two of them glanced around looking for whatever caught their ANBU Captain's attention, Kakashi quickly poured the vodka from his glass into a sake bottle that Raidou had emptied earlier in the evening, before he'd switched to harder liquor. He made a few quick hand signs under the table for a suiton jutsu and covered the top of his glass with one hand as water was drawn into the container.
By the time Genma and Raidou turned back from their reconnaissance of the bar to signal an all clear, Kakashi was sitting exactly in the same position as he was before, bored gaze on Genma. The only indication that something had changed was a slight ripple in the water's surface.
Genma's eyes flicked to the movement and he burst out in a wide grin, shadows fading slightly from his eyes. "Did our esteemed leader just tell us he's ready to have fun? You didn't have to go to extremes just to take a sip, even if we are ninja..." Seeming to forget himself, he slapped Kakashi's shoulder again, almost knocking him over.
Kakashi's death glare seemed less effective this time. Maybe it was all the alcohol in Genma's system, muting his survival instinct. Or worse, maybe Kakashi was just getting used to their antics.
"See," Genma continued blithely, ignoring Kakashi completely. "All we have to do is..."
And with a quick glance at Raidou, they both looked away again at the same time, obviously staring across the room so they wouldn't see Kakashi's face if he pulled down his mask. That type of synchronous movement would have been kind of spooky if Kakashi wasn't so used to it.
Kakashi sighed. It was either yield to his teammates' nagging and getting them to stop or have to deal with it for the rest of the night. He eyed the glass full of water, then his two compatriots. Well, he had nothing to lose, did he?
And with the speed he was known for, he swiped the glass, pulled his mask down, downed the contents, and had the mask back in place before the burning in his mouth and throat told him that he'd been tricked.
He suppressed a cough as the burning sensation spread down into his belly, and glared at the snickering duo beside him, who were still turned away but now hunched over, backs quivering with laughter.
"That was great, Raidou! Smooooooth~" Genma giggled.
"Maa," He said, sliding out of the booth and staring down at his idiotic teammates. "You had your fun, so I'm out for the night. Don't drown yourselves."
With that, he left the bar and the pair of hysterical ninja.
~ o ~
Once outside though, he paused for a moment, unsure where to go next. He breathed in the crisp night air and stared up at the cloudy sky. Since the collateral damage from their last mission had gotten all three of them on the T&I psych watch list, the Hokage had put them on temporary leave from active duty. Their enforced break had driven Genma and Kakashi crazy, until Raidou had basically dragged them off to the nearby town of Bara to try their hot springs. Then, Genma had decided that there was nothing better after a soak than a little alcohol in the system to really loosen up... and now here Kakashi was, starting to feel a bit woozy.
Although, he had to admit (in the corner of his mind that wasn't miffed at his teammates pulling a fast one on him) that what they just did was a pretty good example of teamwork in action... After all, without even a word said, those two had come up with a plan, Genma had distracted him with that slap on the back that pretty much knocked him over, and Raidou had done a quick switch.
Not too shabby.
Swaying slightly, his face slightly flushed above the edge of his mask, Kakashi strolled lazily down the street, enjoying the cool breeze against his warm skin. It was a nice night, long past the time when most civilians would be outside. He skirted past an open doorway, warm lantern light and the sound of raucous laughter spilling out. Crossing a small arched bridge, he leaned over the edge briefly to look down at the quiet stream flowing beneath him.
"Oops," He mumbled to himself with a small chuckle as he lost his balance and tumbled over, catching himself with a chakra-filled palm sticking to the bottom of the bridge and using the momentum of the swing to hurl himself back over the railing.
Kakashi patted the railing lightly and looked out at the empty streets. They looked very... intriguing, he thought, and decided to go for a nice, refreshing run. After all, that Maito kid had challenged him to a race around Konoha just before they left for Bara. He would make sure he won the challenge as soon as he returned. There was no way he would lose to that bowl-headed weirdo!
His hair bounced merrily and gleamed white and silver as he ran down the streets. Left, right, right, over a low wall, turn the corner and...
"Ooof!"
Limbs sprawled and tangled, warmth of a body underneath him, the scent of... citrus and honey? He sniffed deeply again, masked face pressed against the curve of a neck. Yup, citrus and honey.
"Um... excuse me..."
Kakashi lifted his head to inspect the source of the gentle, tentative voice. He had been feeling quite comfy, but he was a curious nin who had to make great sacrifices to satisfy his curiosity, such as depriving himself of his sweet-smelling warm pillow.
Big brown eyes fringed in long lashes, slightly parted full lips, and a slender figure enveloped in a fancy-looking kimono... Even with the white face paint that signified a geisha obscuring her features, Kakashi could see underneath the underneath.
"Oh... Hello, Pretty," He said, right before he passed out in her arms.