Leaving and returning
Sara left Las Vegas and Grissom two months after her brush with near death… now she's returning with some big news, she's four months pregnant and it isn't Grissom's.
Sara must make a hard choice between falling back into the old routine with Grissom or letting the father of her child to make everything ok.
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Sara Sidle was never one to run from problems… no that was a lie; she tended to let people think she didn't. She didn't run she hid and for most of her life that worked. She hid when her father hit her mother… she hid when her mother snapped… she hid in her work when she turned to drink and she hid in her own dream world when Grissom finally opened his eyes and began to love her.
But her eyes were fully opened when she was trapped beneath the car, fighting for her life in the full scale scene of Natalie's. She didn't know when she began to understand things better or at least her self. But sometime between praying someone would save her and waking up three days later in a hospital she saw the world clearly.
She didn't want to hide anymore… she didn't want to live her life that way not anymore. Sadly that started with Grissom… he was nothing but devoted to her while she healed but the more he looked after her the more she saw she couldn't love him that way anymore… she could use her dream world to pretend that what they had was everything she hoped for. He told her that it would work…that they would make it; she knew then that she had become another experiment. He didn't mean to but the way he treated their relationship almost ashamed that if it went wrong he would get a bad mark.
He didn't see her for a full week after she told she couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't be with him because she had made herself believe a lie and it wasn't fair. She knew the others knew and though once upon a time she would have been thrilled she couldn't make her self care.
Catherine offered support and in many ways she will never understand how grateful Sara truly was. Warrick stayed as long as he could, return each day with his Warrick charm. Greg was thrown out a few times but promised that not even the biggest nurse there could stop him followed by a few choice words when he saw a bruise Sara sported.
But it was Nick who got her through the three week stay in hospital, he never left her side, hiding when kick out time came… sleeping beside her in a chair she knew had to be uncomfortable. He held her hand when they checked her wounds, cleaned and rebandaged some.
Though they had all been victims in the past Nick was the only one who knew what it felt like to be a victim before becoming a CSI. He had his own demons and holding her hand was enough to prove that things would be ok.
When Grissom did return Sara was relieved that he was ok… that they could be ok, though she couldn't be his lover it didn't mean she didn't want him as her friend, they had worked too hard at making their friendship to lose it all.
Days moved slowly after that giving Sara plenty of time to think and revalue her life, she had spent too much time and energy on her job and not enough on her life… she clearly laid out before her the facts of what her life meant. No friends outside work who would weep… her foster parents of course would care but no one else, no children, no husband. Her life could pretty much be stored in a small box. And it scared her… if she had died beneath that car she wouldn't have left anything more then her CSI record.
The day she was finally released she decided it wasn't just time away from the lab that she needed but away from the existence she had some hoe made for herself in Vegas… and that was what it was just an existence that couldn't and wouldn't fill the hole anymore.
She was leaving for how long she didn't know… where to she didn't know either but she did know she would return to Vegas; there was no doubt about that. Grissom was shocked by the request but it slowly sunk in and he understood… Catherine, Warrick and Greg only agreed with her that she needed the time away and that they would hunt her down if she didn't return. Brass even threatened to put an ABP if she didn't call them at least once a week.
It was Nick who seemed to take it the hardest… he didn't like the thought of losing his best friend and he wasn't worried that she might do something stupid… he was worried she would finally decided that nothing in Vegas would bring her back.
She couldn't tell him how much she hated that idea and that nothing would ever stop her returning… she had too many good things left to return to. And for a while he seemed happy with that.
But now two months after her ordeal with a clean bill of health he once against stood there convinced she wouldn't return. All through out her leaving party he only half pretended to enjoy himself and fully enjoyed the beers that were offered. Warrick tried his best to bring Nick out of his slump even Grissom stepped up but nothing worked. But as everyone drifted away home leaving a few more requests with Sara Nick looked as though he had decided something in his drunken state and offered to make sure Sara got home, though she was no where near as drunk as Nick she had enjoyed a few drinks.
The two friends talked… neither knowing that the morning would leave one with a hazy memory and the other with a new future filled with new ideas and new places to visit.
Sara left two days later, left Vegas, her friends and one man who meant more to her then she ever could have guessed.
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Four months later
Sara never ran from her problems… well she didn't anymore… most of them anyway. And right now she was facing her worst problem and she was still standing there, not running or hiding.
The knock at apartment door was enough to bring her back from her daydream… or her staring as it had been lightly put. She couldn't help it… to her it was a new piece of evidence that got more interesting every day she looked.
Moving from the one bedroom apartment to the living room door she tugged at her shirt, she knew who it was and she always had this unnerving feeling of trying to impress them. She knew she didn't have too… in fact she knew from the moment she arrived at their front door she didn't have too but she couldn't help it.
Pulling the door open she smiled her large, gap showing smile and was engulfed by two arms straight away. Her face buried into the soft and curling hair of the other woman… something else she had become used to for the last three months since turning up on her door step.
"Oh Sara you look lovely today" the woman declared pulling back to study the younger woman in front of her. Sara couldn't help but blush, she wasn't used to being told how lovely she looked every time she was seen by this woman.
Sara shook her head and allowed the woman in; she couldn't help but relax at passing the test of being greeted by the woman she had come to think of as an adoptive mother for the past three months.
"Jillian you have to stop saying that every time you see me… besides you saw me yesterday and you thought I looked lovely then too" Sara pointed out causing the older woman to laugh then shake her head.
"And I'll keep saying until your not lovely" Jillian declared moving into the apartment while Sara closed the door.
"Oh thank god you can stop now then" Sara joked while still blushing, but the laugh from Jillian made her shake her head again.
"That isn't going happen any time soon darlin'" the Texan twang never failed to brighten Sara up.
Sara had moved around the first month after leaving Vegas before she arrived in Texas and strangely enough arriving at the Stokes family home where she was welcomed with open arms by Mr and Mrs Stokes.
She felt oddly at home with the family enjoying the family meals she was invited too, she even enjoyed telling Nick that his mother had refused to let her leave Texas again until she was convinced that Sara was eating right and taking care of her self… which according to Jillian wasn't going to be anytime soon.
Of course there was another reason Jillian or Bill Stokes wouldn't let Sara leave Texas just yet… one Sara had been adamant that Nick or the other CSI's should not know, a reason that was at this moment making it self known.
Sara smiled brightly when she felt it and Jillian rushed over to her in an instant with a hand reaching for Sara's swollen stomach.
"Ah he's kicking today ain't he… bless he's going to have to beat back the offers from the football teams" Jillian declared as a similar smile spread across her face. Despite being a grandmother to more then seven children she never seemed any less thrilled when she felt the tiny life growing in Sara. Sara had been scared… of what it meant to be a mother or even if she could be a mother. The first month alone was enough to drive her to the brink of despair, if it hadn't been for the Stokes she was sure she would have done something stupid.
"Well he has to make room…his sister was taking up most of the room last night" Sara declared feeling her self tire from standing too long, it didn't help that she had been staring at her stomach for a good ten minutes amazed at how her body adapted to help the tiny lives growing within her.
Jillian only chuckled before patting Sara's stomach and moving her over to the sofa. Sara sighed as Jillian then pottered around the kitchen to make tea. Jillian had made her self well known with all of Sara's likes and dislikes after the second day of knowing her.
"Jillian" "don't you dare my girl… those two are going to be making them selves busy, and my kids weren't brought by no numb head. Where you think my Nicky learnt his ways from" Jillian asked as she moved back to Sara with two steaming cups of herbal tea. Sara could only smile brightly at her accepting the needed tea.
"I have my scan tomorrow then I have to collect the tickets" Sara stated as Jillian nodded settling beside Sara. Jillian held a stern expression for a moment… one Sara had learnt that meant Jillian wasn't too happy about something, but then Jillian beamed at her.
"Fine… me and Bill will be heading into town anyway so we'll go with you. Though I don't know why you don't want me to fly with you to Vegas" "because you have done too much for me already and besides it's time for me to go back…they need to know about the twins plus I don't really want any of the guys knocking my door down at some ungodly hour because they thought I might have falling off the face of the world" Sara declared causing Jillian to laugh then nod.
"I know… besides if I did go with you I might just have to smack a what for in to the head of that boy of mine, he don't visit no more" Jillian declared with a amused tone. Sara laughed before she groaned and pressed a hand to her stomach; Jillian simply smiled brightly and patted Sara's hand.
"you think their a handful now you want until they make an appearance… and looking like their mother woowee your going to be fighting back some boys for the little princess and putting a collar on your little man" Jillian declared causing Sara to laugh out loud.
The rest of the after noon was spent with Sara watching from the bed as Jillian packed most of her clothes… it had taken only two firm shakes and a glare from Jillian to make Sara shut up and relax. After promising not to lift anything or pack anything more until Jillian returned Sara was left alone. She stood in front of her mirror staring intently at her stomach, amazed by the sight and the knowledge that within her two lives that would need her more then anything was growing and it scared her that she hadn't even met them but knew she loved them more then life it self.
Sighing Sara tore her self away and headed over to the phone by her bed and sunk down dialling a number she knew by heart. It rang only three times before there was a click.
"Grissom"
Sara smiled at hearing a familiar voice "Hey Grissom" Sara greeted running a hand over her stomach and enjoying the squirming feeling within her.
"Sara… it's great to hear from you. How have you been, are you ok… how is Texas"
"Great… everything is great, in fact I called to ask you a favour" Sara stated hearing a flurry of activity on the other side of the phone. Grissom was at work, no doubt doing some overtime.
"Sure… wait a minute…sorry everyone sends their greetings, Greg wishes me to tell you he misses you the most…GREG"
Sara couldn't help the giggle as she heard Grissom firmly putting Greg in his place whilst the noise on the other end of the phone died down.
"Sorry Sara you were saying"
"well even though I love it here I thought it might be time to come back to Vegas, to visit at least… and seeing as I got rid of my car and hate cabs, I was wondering if you could pick me up" Sara questioned feeling nervous as the words slipped from her. Wondering what everyone would make of her new status or at least her soon to be new status.
"Of course Sara…when's your flight… yes Greg I said flight"
"In two days… I'll phone you to give you more details, you don't have too if it will be a problem"
"Don't be silly… it won't be a problem… unless you think having four grown adults looking at you with begging looks is a problem"
Sara beamed feeling her nerves calm down, she heard sounds of pleading in the background but after a few seconds they were cut off.
"Just phone me with the details and I'll come and collect you… where will you be staying once you come back because I think by the way Catherine is waving her arms she has a spare room for you"
"I hadn't thought about that… but if Cath's offering then I can't say no… but Grissom, there's something you need to know… I want to tell you face to face, so I need you to come alone before I see everyone else" Sara told him firmly leaving no room for argument in her tone.
"That's fine Sara… no one but me will come to collect you"
"Thank you Grissom… I better let you go, I'll see you soon and say bye to everyone for me" Sara declared feeling less burdened. At least she had told them that she had something to tell them… getting on the plane and showing them was another matter.
"Consider it done Sara and good night"
"Night" and with that both lines went dead. Sara placed the phone down before pulling her self up, it was hard enough to move as it was she didn't even want to think about what it would be like in five more months when the twins really grew. Heading into the kitchen then the bathroom, Sara readied her self for bed awaiting the new day and her return to Vegas.
Two days later
Sara settled in to her seat as best as she could… the chairs were comfortable as far as plane seats went but being four months pregnant with twins didn't make it any better. Throw in the little crying hour she had just spent with Jillian before she was engulfed in her arms then Bills Sara was drained.
It wasn't until the plane was in the air and heading directly for Vegas that it was sinking in that Sara was going to have to tell her friends that she had made more then a few changes to her life…though she knew they would support her no matter what it was the fact that Vegas didn't just hold a lot of memories both good and bad for her it was the fact that Vegas was home to the father of her unborn children, someone she wasn't sure she really want to tell but the only person who she needed to see again.
Glancing at her watch she swallowed hard, in just a few hours the man who had helped her create two beautiful lives was going to finally see what his declaration of love had created and Sara would finally find out if she could have a happy life.
Ok this is new and I have no idea where I'm going with this but it will come to me... you probably know the daddy but if you don't it'll will be made clear.