Throughout the whole game I had this idea in my head. Kinda takes place in the universe of my comic "A Dork's Life". Always had the idea that Moose was a scientist but kept it under wraps from his friends. Then while playing Portal I thought. "What if Moose was working at Aperture Science? And got Soapi a job there not knowing how dangerous the tests actually were?" So yeah. Portalfic! Wheeee!

Don't own Portal. Valve does. I own my OCs though.

"Hey Moose! You never tell us what your job is." The blue haired young man staring at him from across the table. Soapi, Fidget, and Moose were in Denny's eating lunch with Moose on his break. The white coat and name tag is what got Soapi's attention. His girlfriend, Fidget, who was sitting next to him was too busy with opening those little jelly things to pay any attention to the current subject.

"Soapi, didn't you order the bacon?" Trying to change the subject, Moose knew Soapi can never hold a decent job and knew what question was coming up. Yes Soapi was lazy but he really didn't have any skills either and he was never really that bright. A science lab was a bad place for him to be, all that dangerous machinery and chemicals.

"Yeah I did." He flails one arm in the air but is ignored. He just shrugs. Didn't matter to him. "So what do you do? You look like a mad scientist. I bet you're secretly evil" He smiles. Looking as innocent as ever. However the word "evil" is what caught Fidget's attention.

Moose glared at her. "No, Fidget."

"Aww. Whatever then. Not like I fucking care. I've defeated bigger evil things than you." She bopped her boyfriend on the back of the head as soon as he took a bite of his pancake. Causing him to spit it back out. "OW!"

Moose sighed. "If you really wanna know, I work in research."

"Really? Any openings for evil people?" Soapi was far from evil.

Moose soon remembered an opening for a test subject. Although he worked on the upper levels, from what he heard the tests were actually helpful for building skills. Maybe it won't be such a bad oppritunity. He ran a hand over one of the smooth sides of his head, divided by a bright green mohawk, thinking about it. "Soapi, are you sure about this? We do have an opening for a test subject but...."

"Yeah. Why not, dude?"

"Alright, I'll give you a ride there. I'll get the check."

"We got this!" Fidget butted in. She made a nod at Soapi who looked a little worried. Or maybe she was winking. It was hard to tell with her goggles. Even her own boyfriend didn't know what color her eyes were. She jumped up in her seat and pulled out two large .45 handguns. With her small size it looked really funny. Even more comical was how skilled she was with them.

"My coffee was cold!" She screamed before firing at the various inhabitants of the resturant. She grabbed Soapi by the shirt and ushered him outside. Moose following along, deciding they were his safest bet. No one was killed or hurt but it wasn't exactly a subtle way to dine and dash.

Back at Soapi and Fidget's house where they lived with their two room mates, Bob and Steve. Soapi dropped to the ground as soon as they got out of the car.

"Next time, I drive!" Moose complained. Soapi was a horrble driver. Soapi stood up, brushing some dirt from himself. "Yeah yeah.... So what time are we leaving?"

"Seven"

"Okay. Cool. Right after When Pizzas Attack!" He was too excited.

"Seven in the morning, Soapi."

Soapi's face froze in shock. He hated getting up early.

"Okay. If I really have too."

Moose smiled and walked across the street to his house.

The next morning Moose was in his car. Wide awake with his coffee in front of Soapi's house. Soapi came out of his front door, wearing the same thing he did yesterday and his hair was a mess. He had just woken up. After getting into the passenger side of the car he just grunted, signaling he was ready for work. Moose didn't say anything other than "Good morning!". No answer from his neighbor. Just another grunt that sounded close to "Mornin'...."

After driving for a while and finding Moose's parking space. Soapi was a little more awake but still not fully in his upbeat moods yet. They made their way across the parking lot and into the building. Everything was plain and a bright white. No pictures or fake plants in the lobby. A few black and white plastic chairs and a frosted glass window with a speaker in the center.

"Alright, just go tell them you're here for the test subject job and I'll meet up with you later." Moose pointed at the window before leaving through an automatic mechanical door that was near the window. Soapi approached the window. No one seemed to be on the other side.

"Hey, you guy's need a human lab rat, right?"

A moment of silence before the speaker crackled with a robotic female voice. "Welcome to Aperture Science. If you wish to become a test subject a human resources agent will be with you shortly. Please enter the room to your right."

Soapi shrugged then entered the room. A little amazed at the sliding doors. "It's like Star Trek!" He chirped happily to himself. The room was completely bare except for the door he came in, a door across from him, and a small table with a clipboard in the center.

"Please fill out your information." That same uniform sounding robot voice. Of course Soapi wanted the job even though he was getting a little weirded out by the whole science fiction routine. After completing his application he noticed a strange smell and soon passed out on the floor.

He eventually woke up in a glass room. A countdown was on a wall outside the glass box. After inspecting the coffee cup and clipboard with almost no interest he dropped both into the toilet and flushed it. Giggling out loud to the empty room then realizing he was wearing an orange jumpsuit and weird heel spring things.

"Maybe I should've read what was on that clipboard." He realized he was in deep shit now.