"K-Kacchan," Izuku whimpers warily. He keeps retreating in slow steps, unknowingly trapping himself against the concrete wall.
"Quiet," Katsuki snarls. With a sudden move performs a maneuver and Izuku flinches back in surprise.
Kacchan's gotten fast-!
An elbow buries itself into his stomach - it makes his eyes water in pain, his sour saliva to fill his mouth, his eyes to pop out.
It leaves an ache -and probably a bruise- just below where his sternum should be, the little hollow beneath the middle of his ribcage.
He topples over in pretense, feigning unbearable agony. He buys time. Kacchan doesn't like fighting someone incapacitated. Izuku would like to finish this as peacefully as possible.
'After all,' he muses in worry. 'Kacchan needs some rest. I hope he doesn't strain himself too much, training all the time.'
It was what started this recent argument anyway.
Kacchan kept training harder and harder, so much that Izuku began worrying incessantly. Every waking moment was full of Katsuki and possible injuries he could get from overworking and excessive exercise. Izuku had confronted him about it, but nothing had come out of his initiative.
"You think I'm fragile, huh?!" Katsuki leans into his trembling form on the ground, until all Izuku could see was Kacchan's furious scowl. "That I can't handle it - is that right?! I don't need you to protect me, you damn Quirkless crybaby!"
"I KNOW-" Izuku twitches up from where he lies, wheezing. "I know. Just…"
Katsuki crouches over him, his pissed-off expression easing into a dispassionate one. He waits for Izuku to articulate his words.
Gah. Izuku can't stay mad at him at all. Kacchan is so pretty. When he doesn't frown he looks like a charming prince.
"Well? Speak up, Deku. Just what ."
"Ah - I get scared you're going to injure yourself, Kacchan, you would have to stay in a hospital. Then you would have to catch up on your studies-"
"Haaah?! You sayin' I'm dumb, Deku?!"
"N-Not at all…!"
Katsuki tires of him. He stands back abruptly, with Izuku still laying on the cold hard ground. The shivering boy sways as he tries to get up, but Katsuki shoves him down again.
"I'm going," Kacchan informs him. Izuku gives the slightest nod. "I better not find you getting in my way again."
Izuku hesitates. On one hand he'd like to keep Kacchan safe, on the other hand he'd like to protect the amiable air between them. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
He sighs. He caves in, nodding.
Kacchan glares apathetically. Finally deciding Izuku's promise is enough, he turns on his feet and leaves the dead-end alley.
Izuku leans against the damp wall, panting. That was close. Izuku doesn't want to lose his hard-earned rapport with Kacchan. Years has gone into his bond with his explosive friend, he'd rather not screw up everything just because Kacchan is being stupid.
He covers his face with his hands, rubbing a bit.
Kacchan.
He is so handsome, so clever. So dedicated. Izuku loves that about him.
But most of all, Izuku loves that Kacchan's his.
The love of his life, his image of victory.
"It's time to think seriously about your futures!"
What do you mean? I've always been serious. To never ever leave Kacchan and be the one to stand beside him at all times, that's the dream I've always had…!
"HAH?! You think you extras are going to enter UA?! " Kacchan bellows at their classmates around. With a dash of adrenaline and conceit, he hops onto the desk with one cool move, "I aced the mock test! My Quirk surpasses any other! I'm a natural , and you side characters think you can get into UA? Don't make me laugh!"
"Oh yeah," the Hamada-sensei cuts in carelessly. "Midoriya applied there too, didn't he?"
Izuku covers behind his worn down notebook, trying to shield himself from the mocking laughter and Kacchan's angry, angry gaze.
No, I - I'm sorry Kacchan! Please, please don't look at me like that! I take it back! I won't come to UA! Anything for you, anything…!
Deku.
Katsuki's heart lurches in agony, beating through his worry and fear.
Quirkless little Deku, the small boy in their group, the meek kid always loitering a feet behind, the love of his life-
Deku.
All this effort to keep him away from such danger, Villains, abductions, torture, blackmail, and who knows what evils …
All shattered in front of his eyes, fragments drifting away from him, until all that's left is him, his twinging heart, and that ungrateful, lovable boy: Deku.
Deku.
Katsuki's plans, all gone in a manner of seconds, in mere four words. He can see it now, like a movie he can watch through his retinas; Deku's bright start at life, his excited ramblings in their childhood, the hand holdings and flower crowns, sharing their beds, their showers, their bentos and whatever they had…
...now has no meaning. Deku would throw it all away at the prospect of something as dirty as Heroism.
Deku. Dying at the hands of a petty Villain. Dying as he is tortured to death by a criminal organization's leader. Dying, his life turned around, snuffed out as if it had never existed at all.
"You think you can enter UA, Deku?" Katsuki taunts, desperate to make him see the truth of Heroes, the pain and risks. "The Quirkless little boy with noodle arms? The Quirkless little boy who has no idea how to fight? The tiny fuck who can't even fend off some street dogs?"
"That - That was one time …!"
"Shut the fuck up, Deku. You traitor; you can't go to UA, shrimp! You don't even have a Quirk!"
"They got rid of that rule though!" Deku whimpers, scooting back into the wall, trapping himself in.
Katsuki doesn't care at all, he doesn't care, as long as he can convince this moron to step aside and let Katsuki protect him, as he should.
"Don't go to UA."
It's after-hours. Izuku finishes up with his latest entry in the notebook number thirteen, when some of Kacchan's lackeys approach.
"Yo, Midoriya," Kusanabe greets, informal despite his dislike of him. "Whatcha got there?"
Fuji swipes the worn notebook from his hands before Izuku can even respond, raising an eyebrow in a mocking fashion.
"Damn," he whistles, amused. "Didn't know you were that stupid. You still going about this Hero business? Give it up, man! It's useless!"
"It's not!"
"What's that."
Kacchan.
Izuku deflates, every nerve in his body screaming that Kacchan has caught him, that he would end their friendship right here and then. He wants to scramble away, to hide what he can; but Kacchan is already grabbing the source of his anxiety in his strong, deft hands.
Izuku watches him stare, unsure and afraid. If Kacchan asks it of him, clearly and with utmost determination, he will give it all up. Without any hesitation or pause, all for Kacchan's love.
(If there is any.)
"What's this, Deku?" Kacchan whispers, eyes wide and palms trembling, slick with nitroglycerin. It stains the cover, and stains the pages as the handsome boy goes through all that's written. His eyebrows furrow, displaying his inner state.
But he's quiet, so quiet. Izuku doesn't think he's ever seen him so silent. Kacchan's never quiet.
And Izuku is frightened of such a state, frightened that he's angered Kacchan so much that he's driven him to silence. He hopes Kacchan won't distance himself.
"Tell me."
"My Hero notes, Kacchan."
" Hero notes?" Kacchan repeats back. Still quiet, still incredulous, as if unbelieving. "Hero notes? You call these Hero notes, Deku? I call these trash. I should put it where it belongs." Izuku is about to move, to cry for Kacchan to be rational, but his love stops in his tracks. A sickly bitter grimace makes it way to his beautiful face, "Or better yet, I should make this food for the fish."
The notebook goes up in flames, singed until the cover is merely a black background, and the pages nearly turn to ash. With a careless, shaking wrist flick, Kacchan throws it out of the window.
Izuku doesn't care, he doesn't care at all. Kacchan could do anything, he could scream, he could fight, he could curse, he could go quiet, he could get mad, he could kill him, but Izuku would love him until the end of the world.
But this hits pretty close to home.
'You have the extra toe-joint-'
'I'm sorry, Izuku!'
'Can I be a Hero?'
'No, that wasn't what I wanted you to say…'
'What I wanted you to say was -'
"You can't be a Hero, Deku," Kacchan says. He looks desperate to prove it. He looks feral. "You will never be a Hero. Not on my watch. Never."
Kacchan.
Izuku stares at him with such anger, with such betrayal, that Katsuki actually reconsiders his actions.
Had he gone too far? Deku has never wilted under his cruel words, despite the severity of them. So Katsuki hadn't attempted to curb his anger towards him. If it was bad, Deku would surely tell him! He never hesitates to do so.
But this was an emergency. Katsuki couldn't merely sit back and watch as Deku got onto the path that would kill him one day.
Not on my watch. You're never going to be a Hero.
His work here was done for now. Deku wouldn't listen to anything else he said after this.
"By the way," he says. He almost wants to jab at his Quirklessness, as a way to remind him, but Katsuki knows he did that one too many times. He had a ruthless taunt in the back of his mind, but he couldn't bring himself to use something so terrible for his darling Deku's sunshine nature. It would wound him.
So he goes on without provoking him, "Go cry after this. If you keep it in you'll just cry in class tomorrow or something."
Izuku's slight, cut-off sob is like a sign that he was right, so he exits the class without looking back.
Stupid Kacchan. Stupid Kacchan!
But he was kind too. He told him to cry! Kacchan's knew him so well, to predict he would be burnt out after an experience like this.
He really loves Kacchan! His driven, ambitious Kacchan…
'Give it up.'
Okay .
Okay.
He will. For Kacchan.
After exiting the classroom, Izuku goes to the pond on the school grounds to check for his fried notebook. He finds it being munched on by the koi fish, tearing apart at the corners.
"Stupid fish," he mutters, irritated. "You can't do that, it's not yours. It's mine."
He pulls it out of the water, soaked wholly. "It's mine."
He checks to see if he could still turn the pages, but they fall apart at his touch, ripped. "It's mine."
"It's mine," he whispers, nearly silent, mouth moving minimally.
It's silent around. If Izuku screames, no one would hear. If he smashes his head on the pool's corner, no one would realize until morning, or until someone checks during the night.
He can die here.
Kacchan.
No.
He can't. He can't do that to Kacchan. He can't betray Kacchan like that!
He can't do that! He needs to stand by Kacchan first!
With that last affirmation, his resolve is strengthened like nothing else. His conviction is strong, held up by the pillars that area is love for Kacchan and the dream of All Might. With this, he would become a Hero who saves everyone with a smile!
But Kacchan.
Kacchan told him to give up.
Izuku tightens his clenching fists, about to cry from the battle inside him.
Can he go against Kacchan? Even if it's to stand by him? To be with him until the end? To support him in his dream?
To love him?
Would Kacchan reject him?
Would Kacchan push him away?
'Kacchan is mine. I'm the only one who loves him as he should be, the only one who knows him the way I do, the only one who can go up to him and walk back with no injuries or scarring remarks. Kacchan takes care of me in his own way. And I love him.'
And that's that. Even if Izuku was rejected, it would be because Kacchan didn't know that he actually needed Izuku, that Izuku would move the skies for him. Once Izuku made him see the true scope of his feelings, Kacchan would have no doubts.
Kacchan is mine. You're the one I love, Kacchan!
I'm going to stand by you as you become the greatest Hero ever seen! Not even you can stop me