Twilight, if it was awesome.
I jolted awake. I squinted my eyes as they searched vainly in the jarring light. Some ass had flipped on my light switch. I sat up a bit and exclaimed, "Jesus Christ, who is it, it must be 3 o' clock in the morning."
"Well, I guess this isn't the most prudent hour," the voice of Edward said in it's usual douche-y way of responding to perfectly legitimate questions. "But I've found myself unable to think, unable to function. All I can think about is you. I worry about you constantly. I hate being separated from you." he finished, taking a turn to creepy, obsessive clinginess.
It was amazing how instantaneously the fierce agitation vanished, amazing how suddenly the feeling of security washed over me as soon as I heard his voice. Some may say that I've developed a scary pathological dependance on Edward that I should see about at a psychologist about, but they're assholes that shouldn't be listened to.
As Edward came into focus as my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw that he had a very grave, yet almost hungry look on his face. "I want you to bare my children. We'll make a beautiful demon spawn together!"
"But why?" I inquired inquiringly.
"So that gigantic pedophile Jacob can have something to distract him and get him the hell out of the series. Complicated romance plots are for fags. It must be gotten rid of, even if that means inserting a disturbing pedophiliac relationship into the plot. Besides, all Jacob ever thinks about is baby fuck."
At that very moment, off in the distance, I heard a faint voice, which sounded a lot like Jacob, saying "IT'S AWWW-RIGHTTT!!!", and then "Why don't you just have a seat there...", but that voice didn't sound anything like Jacob's. In fact, it sounded kind of like Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator." Then, the voice of Jacob cried out, "OH SHI-."
"Well, I guess that's okay. I trust you Edward." I said, in order to advance the plot.
We then lunged at each other, removing every bit of clothing whilst making out passionately. I got behind Edward and put my hands over his eyes and said, "Guess who?"
"I saw you 5 seconds ago, of course it's you, Bella."
I then chucked and I removed my fake breasts and put my dick in his butt as I revealed that I was actually Gary Oak.
Pokemon Master.
"Take it, Edward, take it!" I yelled, laughing at his anguish.
"Who are you, what's the meaning of this?!" Edward screamed.
"Gary Motherfucking Oak" I snarled as I threw Edward on the bed, pounding his tight ass harder than ever.
Edward gnashed his teeth, but it was no use. There was no ignoring my girth. Blood from his virgin anus began to trickle down the sheets. It was actually leaving a pretty bad stain...
Suddenly, Billy Mays kicked down the door, brandishing a bottle of Kaboom. "GOT SOME DIRTY LINENS AND SHIT THAT NEEDS ALL CLEANED UP? WELL TRY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN KABOOM. IT'LL TAKE THE STAINS RIGHT OUT. JUST SPRAY ON, WIPE, AND YOU'RE DONE. DON'T TRY OTHER PRODUCTS THAT LEAVE BEHIND MARKS AND DEBREE. ONLY KABOOM HAS THE CLEANING TECHOLOGY BUILT IN TO GIVE YOUR LINENS THAT DEEP DOWN CLEAN. BUY THIS SHIT NOW AND WE'LL THROW IN 5 EXTRA BOTTLES OF THIS SHIT AND SOME FUCKING ZORBEEZ FOR GOOD MEASURE." Billy Mays said in all caps.
In the force of Billy May's wake, we were thrown against the wall. We cowered in intense fear at the ominous spectacle of Billy Mays. Knowing how foolish we were to incur the wrath of Billy Mays, I began to voice an apology, but Edward got in first.
"What are Zorbeez?"
"YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP FIVE GALLONS APIECE, AND YOU'LL NEED THEM AFTER YOU CLEAN THOSE STAINS WITH SOME GODDAMN KABOOM AND SIMULTANIOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU THAT'S HOW. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS." responded Billy Mays, again in all caps. He then did a 180 turn and left.
Edward began to cry. "I don't understand... why are you doing this to me? What's going on?"
I responded, "It's quite simple really, I'm doing it for the lolz."
"How is all of this happening?" Edward continued to whine.
My body stiffened. Then, as ebon pitch rolled from my eyes and mouth, I chanted "Magna mater! Magna mater... dies mies jeschet boene doesef douvema entemaus. Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚. HE COMES.
Edward stared horrified as my tendril wrapped around his cerebrum, showing him the only truth: chaos. I opened one of my six mouths and began to sing the song that ends the world.
҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉ ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ZA ~ L G ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Z̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ # O҉ ̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ # ̎̏̐̑ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ A̎̏̐̑L̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉G̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉◊ख़҉̵̞ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝ ͡҉O҉ ̵̡̢̢̛̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟ ̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎ ̏̐̑̒̓ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̕̚̕ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ C̓̔̿̿̿̕̚۩◊} O҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ M͡҉ E҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ S~ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Z̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ~ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Z̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ # ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ # ̎̏̐̑ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ A̎̏̐̑L̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉G̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉◊ख़҉̵̞ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝ ͡҉O ҉ ̵̡̢̢̛̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟ ̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎ ̏̐̑̒̓ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̕̚̕ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚۩IT IS◊EATINGMYSOUL} ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉ ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ~ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Z̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ # ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ # ̎̏̐̑ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ A̎̏̐̑L̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉G̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉◊ख़҉̵̞ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝ ͡҉ZALGO ҉ ̵IS̡̢̢̛THE̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟ ̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̕̚̕ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚۩◊} OH GOD ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝ ̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ ̚̕̚͡ ͡҉ ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ~ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Z̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ # ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ # ̎̏̐̑ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ͡҉҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ A̎̏̐̑L̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉G̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉◊ख़҉̵̞ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝ ͡҉O҉ ̵̡̢̢̛̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟ ̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎ ̏̐̑̒̓ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̕̚̕ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ HELP ME͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚۩◊ H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙ ̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒ ̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿ ̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚E҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙ ̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒ ̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿ ̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚C҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙ ̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒ ̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿ ̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚O҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙ ̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒ ̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿ ̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚M҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙ ̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒ ̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿ ̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚E҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙ ̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒ ̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿ ̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚S҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙ ̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒ ̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿ ̕̚̕̚͡ T͖̟̹̦̤̣̦̹̒̌ͥ͑̇͐͊͝o̴͍̼̯̭͓͍̝̰̊͆̌͝ ̟̳͈̝̼ͦͥ͘͡i͇̺̬̭̻ͯͣ͂n̻̳͙̯̜̼͇̿ͮ͛̑v̴̶̪̲̟͕͈̙̋̈́̆̆̾ö̩̻̥͍̟̩̦́k̮͖͚̻͆̉͌ͪ̒̽͆ͬe̴̸͚̹̬͓̠̤͑̋ͯ̔̿ͬͅͅ ̺̻͓̱̤ͨ͊ͧ͒͊t̶̨͔͖̹̼̰͓̻̂̉̈́̿ͮ͝h͉͕̠͈̙̫̲̝̫͛ͩ͟e̝͇̦̹͑̌͜ ̨̥̇͊ḩ̛̦̙̳̳̲͐͞i̪̳͒̔͢v̵ͨ͋ͮ̔̏ͩ҉̥̜͚̭͖e̟̙̣͈̥͒̈̎ͦͅ-̣̳͍͕͋͌͌̂̆͡ͅm̥͉̝͔͓̻̊͗ͩͮ͠ỉ̧͙̬͇͓̇ͧͣ̍ͥṋ̗͙͇͉͕̬͙͙ͭ͑̂̍̇̇͑͐͋d̼̭̆̋ͭ́̅̏̇͘ ̵͍̜͔͙̗̼͚̫̒͊ͯ̇͌̃̈́͟͞r̢ͤ̉̄ͣ͋͏͓́e̷̢͕̠ͮ̈́̆ͅp̡̯̮̲͇͕̩ͧ̇̍̚̕ŗ͇͖̒̎͋ͪͣe̸̴̢͎̖̠̫̪͔̽́̽͛ͅs̹̳͖͉͇̣̻̊ͣͤ̄̌͛̓̚͟e͐ͪ̋̿̓͏̠͚̼̪̣̰ͅn̶͖̖͕̺̠͔̻͈̐ͬͫͫ̑͘t̥̪̤̹͎̹̞ͧ͑ͧ͝͡ͅị̮̩̥̮͙͎̓͑͠ͅn̷̼͔̗͎̩̫͔͊g̶̞̱̝͙̝͙̋́̄͌̅͢͝ ̘͙̮ͫ̉ͪ͢c̟̲͕͕̩̓̎͞ḣ̶̸̩͚̦̬̱̤͔̹͈́̔͐ͤ͡aͭ̃̐̌ͮͦ͏̫̜̣̬̲̙̭͢ò̠̭̖ͥͩ̈́͆̓̈s̴̛͓͓̲̲͋̊͑̐̓ͩͬ͑.͎̳̄͋ ̷̢̹̳͙̹̙͍̙̅̂ͩͧ̾̚I̮̤̪̹̠̾͋̃n̶̺̫͓̲̥̠͔̄́̓ͪ̍͋͢v̡̭͕͙̣ͫ̎ͮ͐̄̇͛̚̕ͅoͬͧ̿ͫ̔̉ͫ̽̚҉͈̦͕k̸̽̎̐͏̱͇͜ḯ҉̵̻̣̫̞̭̳̰͖̬n̷̜͖̞̮̬͈͖͍̿̓͂͛̾͋̽̉͠͝g̡̰̹͌ͨ̆ͬͯ͌ͥ̋̚͡ ̴̨͙̲̪̜ͤͥͤ̉ͫͯ̒̉ẗ̨̬̹̼̯͆̍ͮ̓͘hͬ̽҉̛͓̘̩̯̥̜e͂̏̓̿̍͠҉̣̲̳̮̩͍̕ ͕̼͇̙̪̣̠͈͔ͭͯ̀ͭ͒f͎̗̳͎̥̈́̑͌͛̌̏ͥ͞e̸̡̠͉͓̰̙ͣͭ̈͊̈̐̔̊ḛ̦͕̯̋̒ͭ̇̅̿͡l̶̝͓̳̗̮̻͍̯̋ͨ̅̊̅̾ĭ͕̬̥̥̾ͣ̓n̶̝̞̬̦̄̃g̥̖͇͙̠̽ͬ́ͯ̽ͫ̉ ̳͈̪́͛ͯͫ́ͬͯ̑o͔̰̪̰͒̎ͮ͘͢f͖͓͇̣ͨ͂ͤ̚̕ ̛̘͍̗̣̟̬̼ͥ̓c̵̸͔̩͔̩̫̰̜̐͑̎ͯ̚ͅh̨͙͈̥̉ͫ̈̿͆̔ͣä̧̺̪͔͔̱͓̠̞ͮ̇͒̍̊o̶̴̟̱̻̻͙͂͜s̼̱̣̩̦̺̖͕̈̆͋̒͂ͨͥ̀͞͝.͓̣͎̳͇̤͇̺͗ͩ͆̆̅ͤ͡͝ ̶̬̬̱̟̜̼̓̆͂̽̍ͣ̒͒͢͜Ẅ̧̦́ͩ̚iͫ͒͐͛̿͏̳͕̞̙͝t̺̝̣̥̻͓͂̐̏̍͢h̐́ͨ́͏̶̱̝̮̞͖͓̬ ̶̺͉̓͌̆ͯ̐̍ͤo͓̺̻̪̗̗̓̇ͭ͆ͪ̓̚̕͟ͅͅụ̧̡̠̰̭̒̅̄̒̊ͮ̈́t̞̯͓̲͕̗̹̤ͥ̋ͣ͌ ͖̐̌̑̉͑̉͟o̖̣̖͕ͤ̐͗̍͐͠r̬̃ͧ͌̈̔d̖͔̝̱͎̙͒ͫeͮ̌̔ͪ҉̣̠̰̳r̲̠̠̪̯̙̬̲ͬ̾ͪͪ̅ͥ̚͘.̵̝̜̣̝̙͚ͪ̑̃͆̂͘ ͍̪̼̦̲̰̇͑̋ͥ̓̍͒ͣͦ̕ͅT̴͙͙̱͚̳͕̤̩̈́̏̂ͩ̐ͅh̵̴͔̙̻̺͕̽e̙̗̜̞̓͑ͬ̓ͥͯͧ̂ ̴̲̲ͤͣ̀N͚͍̻̿̒͌̍͆e͕̹͖̊̔̏ͫ̍ͬͥ̚͠z̸̖̦̯̮̠̑p͎̭͂ͦ̇ͬͦ͌͞ḙ͆̆̉̽̉͗r̢̬͔̬͓̺͇͎̬̘̆ͤ́̆̋̕͝dͥͫ̊̾͋ͪͩ̒̐҉̙͇̩͉i͍̙̬̦͙͉͍ͮ͡ͅǎ̸̡̘̩̟̮̫̋̿̇̈́̀n̸̶̜̻̲̝̰̗͙̍̌̓͐̾ͯ̀ ̩̣̻͍͔̩̥̱̈̊̆̎̔̔͑̕h̵̸̝̳̮̫̙̮͖̬̔̂͗̂͞i̴̪͎̖̠͐́̋͌͜͞v̺́̔ͬͨ̉ͅë̬̙̪̞́̈́͐͋̃̒ͩ-̶̳̮̖̳͎̻͓̯̪ͬ̋̄ṃ̡̗̩̩̦ͨͧ͑̽̄͠i͈̭͖̞̫͔͋͑̆̆ͣ͜n͙̠̙̦̫̺̩̐͊̓̐̍̚d̷͓̜͖̪̼͉̟̤͛͑͗̋ ͉ͤͧͦ̄̓̔ͧ̍͑̕͘o̗̦̹̫̹ͭͤf̶̛̖̣̦̯͚̪̞̞ͨ̂̌̃̇̎̐ ̈̐̄̔̾͑͏̵͇̤̰c̠̘̗̹̰̬̱̝̖ͦ̒ͧ̿̌̿͘ḧ̫̙̬͇̳͍͔́̊͒ͮ́͂͡a̫̪͙͎͉̲͎̹͋͆ͮͪ̿ͪ͋o͇͉̒̊ͧ̃̋̈́̈́̀̕s̷͉̘̹̟̺̦̅͌.̵̮̝̠̎̈́̕͞ ̬̹̠͈̫͔͕̓ͭͮ̀̆ͪͅZ̩̻͎͓̯̲̓ͥͫͪ̎ą̹͔̖̖̱͍̥̞́̂̀̈ͭ͂̈̂͛l̨̮ͪ̒͌ͦ̊ͧ̊͛͘͜g̪͔̩̑͆̆̏͛͌ͩ̋ớ̢̳̮̫̬̣͈͔ͨ̽ͧ̔̋.͍̦͇͔̲͓͔̜ͯ͂̆̋́̕ ̡̯͈̺̣̮̙̒͒̀̆ ̴̫̎̂ͪ͛͑̌̉ͯ͢Ḧ̫̤́ͨ̄͜͢͠e̲̯͍͇̫̋ ̮̱̗͍̤͚̬̞̟̾͘͢ẅ̢͙̭̥̜̿̍̀̏͌h̸̦̰ͥͧ̾̃͘o̊̅ͩ̔̾̅͛҉̯̳͢ ͣ̉͋̐͆̈ͪ҉̧̦͎̹͓͚͉̻͘W̛̬̣̅ͧ̒ͣ̌̅͒ͭ͝aͩ͌̿̓̈͆̋҉̤͇͔̘̙̮̖̝͕̕ị̛̱̑͗͌̋ͣ̀͢ţ̞͙̔̉ͮ̚͝s̵̜͓̄͑̍̆ͣ̈́͌ͧ̈́ ̶͕͖ͧͫ͂̔B̵͔̩ͤ̔̀̄͆̒̽̕e̢̟̲̯̹͙ͩ͒́̊͝h̄͑ͦ̆̒͏̭̜̗̟̕i̢͎̙͔͚̻̜̠͋̓̍ͧ͗͑ͪ͛͜n̴̨̓̑҉͔d̰̮͈̺͑̓͗́͜ ̨͇̤ͤͨ̓͋̕T̑ͭͥ̋̐̾҉̴̛̭h̬̱̰͉ͤ̊̉ẽ͔̤̱͇̱̮͗͂͠ͅ ̖͍̦̯̦̹͕ͬ̒̏͢͞W͓̘̩͙ͥ̑́͂͐a̸͊ͦ̅ͯ́҉͍͓̩͔͎l̗͚̰̬̘̫͎ͥͤ̓ͅl̻̄͆́ͯ̔̈́̾.̣̠̯̝̞͚͚͒ͬ͆̅̈͜͢͢ ̬͇͍̞̫̱̟̒͛͑ͦͤͩ̐̾͟Z͉̝̰̣̩̞̭͌̆́̅̓̑̒͜A̷̡̺͒͗̐̒L͑͌͐ͥ́͞҉̛̪̜̙͔G̿̍̈́̿͒ͭ̍ͮ̍҉̡̞̻̯̩̮̤̰̹O̲̯̯̭ͣͬ̔͘!̩̬͙͇͚͇̩̄̒͐͌̈͗ͨ̀ͅ