Hey guys, after some 'Constructive' criticism I have re-written this story and added a few things. Enjoy and try to look beyond the SPG as I have really tried to improve this and someone has looked over it to.
Scott sat curled up on a ledge over looking the vast ocean ahead of him. His eyes were bright with tears he wouldn't allow to fall. The cool night air hit him gently but it was winter and even on there Tropical Island the wind had started to seep into the nights. Scott hated the night, there was nothing to do except sleep. He didn't sleep well, in fact he hadn't slept well in years. His dreams were always haunted with memories of the past . He often wished he was like Virgil, who had the ability to function on a few hours sleep but could sleep straight for 8 hours till morning. His sleep would be better if it wasn't for the dreams and recently the dreams that turned into nightmares that normally involved the death of someone close to him and even the death of a stranger some nights. Virgil had not said anything to him about the incident. What can you say to a man who has lost the woman he loves? Scott had thought his father would be of help, however his father still couldn't talk about Lucy and Scott knew that only when he retired from International Rescue would he be able to. He was cursing himself, his brothers had almost been killed because he mis-interpreted the scanner. As it was John escaped with a sprained wrist thanks to a lucky save by Virgil who was rewarded for his effort with a gash on his head. He knew he should have been concentrating, He should have seen the area wasn't safe but all he could think about was her.
Scott had noticed that Virgil and John seemed to spend a lot of time together recently, closer in age, John and Virgil were both a like in character, in that nothing phased them. If it went wrong, it went wrong. They didn't get annoyed they just moved on, sometimes it would take a while but they would talk and some how always managed to reassure each other they had done the right thing. Scott had noticed how they spent more time together and well it made him kind of jealous as he normally spent his time with Virgil. John spent time with them all when he was down for rotation however in the last 6 months, he noticed he spent more time with Virgil and for some insane reason it annoyed him. It had always him and Virgil against Alan and Gordon, but now John was here it was Gordon and Scott against Virgil and John and it felt out of place. He heard the rustle of leaves and knew the owner even before they sat down beside him.
"Hi" A soft melodious voice broke the silence, in his normal quiet manner.
"Hi" Scott replied not looking at him, his eyes still fixed on the ocean so he didn't have to look at Virgil.
"Cold tonight huh?" The voice asked. He felt a blanket being draped over his shoulders and Vrgil wrapping the other half around him so they were close but warm. He smiled at the gesture, remembering how much he missed the simple gesture of care shown by his brother. Virgil then pulled out a flask and smiled
"Fancy a drink?" He asked innocently, his eyes suddenly seemed to sparkle.
"Y'ok it might warm me up" He took the cup off of him and took a sip, surprise in his features at the taste, but it was a welcome surprise.
"You spiked hot chocolate?" He said for the first time in the evening amusement laced his voice.
"Yeah, just a little, I mean I couldn't take much, it's dad's favourite brandy" The amused eyes danced a little. Scott looked even more surprised at Virgil's rule breaking and sneaky tactics.
"You are going to be in so much trouble" Scott looked to his brother whose eyes had held an innocent look.
"Only if I'm caught. You wouldn't tell on your little brother right" He said, his eyes searching Scott's. Scott pretended to consider the response and was about to reply when a loud crash of waves was heard on the rocks below the ledge. He then remembered the reason he was up here and went silent, the tears and anger had returned..
"Rescues seem to get tougher every time" The soft voice reflected his mood. Scott still hadn't replied so Virgil contnued, his eyes following his brothers over the ocean.
" I was worried about you today you know, on the rescue" Brown eyes met blue.
"Huh?" Scott was surprised why should he be worried about him?
"One thought that went on in my head today was what would you do if I lost you. I've been worrying more and more about that. It's great when we save people but when we fail, I still wonder do we realy make a difference..then I think of the lives we save and suddenly the slates wiped clean and I think we do make a difference." The pilot muttered, trying to work out if what he had said made any sense.
"What are you going on about, your talking in circles" an irritated older brother answered
"I'm trying to say...hell..I think I'm trying to say...it wasn't your fault today" He said quietly
"I never said it was" Scott was shocked his brother seemed to read him so easily
"You thought it was, look we're fine, it all turned out OK." The younger brother replied hoping to end this conversation quickly so he could get back to bed.
Scott gently lifted a hand to brush a few strands of brown hair off of his brothers head, his hands lightly touching the dressing.
"Your not, you were hurt and so was John" He was angry at himself at the moment
"That's part of the risks" Virgil replied trying to see were Scott was taking this and hoping he was pushing him in the right direction
"But if I had read the instruments correctly..." Scott started
"It would have made very little difference really, the whole ground was unstable, it could quite easily have happened else ware, you know the earth moving can be unpredictable" Virgil replied quickly
"I was helpless damn it, helpless!!" Scott practically shouted
"Your still thinking about her aren't you?" Virgil didn't need to mention her name. He knew Scott had only ever loved one woman in his life like he loved her.
"Who?" Scott asked quickly
"Don't play dumb Scott, I can play that role better." Virgil said with a stern glare
"How? I met her twice, twice. How could I be so...messed up. I was in love with her, I met her twice, twice, the third time we were going to meet..." He trailed off
"Love's something we don't understand Scott. Maybe it affects us more as we are stuck on this island with only each other but I know how you feel" Virgil looked out to the ocean as he said it, watching the waves and feeling the calm the ocean always brought him, settling his nerves for the next part of his confession.
"Yeah like you've had the woman you love die in your arms" Scott said harshly
Virgil looked at his hands then, the cup still held tightly, but they started to tremble slightly unbeknown to Scott.
"I have" His gaze couldn't meet Scott's gaze, instead he focused on the ocean again
"When?" He asked shocked that this new information was only just coming to light
"When I was at Denver...Kimi Holmes, you remember that accident?" Virgil spoke but still looked over the ocean, his voice was quiet, scarred almost.
"How could I forget, dad called me all a panic saying you had been involved in an accident. When I called him back, he told me you were fine. You had witnessed the accident not actually been in it" Scot recalled the sick feeling in his stomach when his dad had thought he had been in the accident.
"I would have been if I'd gone to the party rather than studied for my assignment. Kimi died in my arms, she took her last breath as I held her. I couldn't save her. She and one of the other guys from my dorm were picking me up from Engineering club, a car came out of nowhere on the run from the police and slammed into them, toppling the car, trapping Gav and Killing Kimi. She was thrown from the car, she wasn't wearing her seat belt. I always made sure she was strapped in before going anywhere. I held her body..." He stopped before composing himself again by taking a deep breath.
"I felt my heart break. When I got home after she'd been taken to the hospital I found John waiting for me. I'd forgotten we were meant to go for drinks that night. You know how close he was to me at ATV College. I couldn't handle it, I broke down. I think I scarred him at first but he just...held me. I was never so open, at least not since mum. We sat and talked to the early hours of the morning. I fell asleep and he tucked me in before settling down beside me, her anniversary of death was 5 years and 6 months ago" He recalled. The memory still slipped into his dreams some nights.
"John did that?" Scott was surprised, John was not a fan of any physical contact, preferring to offer support from a distance by words rather than actions.
"Yeah" He replied, his eyes looking up to the heavens and Scott saw stars reflected in his honey brown eyes.
It all made sense now, why Virgil and John shared the connection. Scott had always thought he had lost his relationship with Virgil because of aviation training but realised he had simply been in the wrong place, at the wrong time and John had been there when Virgil needed him the most. It also explained why Virgil had been so down that summer. Scott should have been angry he wasn't told about this so he could help his brother, but he knew that John had done more than he could. He then turned his gaze to Virgil in amazement.
"When does it stop hurting?" He asked in a quiet, timid voice
"It gets better everyday, you don't notice it, but before you can get better you need to let yourself go, allow the damn to break, to grieve. Then things will get easier. It won't happen over night and there's no quick fix. Things get better once you let free yourself from your burden." Virgil replied sadly before squeezing his brother's shoulder gently.
Scott looked at Virgil, the tears fell down his cheeks. He followed Virgil's advice knowing the scene would go no further than his brothers honey brown eyes. He finally let himself go. Virgil listened to him cry, pulling him closer to his chest, the arm snaking around his neck pulling him into a hug, so his head was buried in Virgil's shoulder. Scott cried, he let himself go as Virgil had said. Virgil just sat there listening, quietly shushing him with soothing noises
"It's alright Scott, just let it go" He whispered quietly
After a good 20 minutes, even Virgil was amazed how much he cried, he stopped and looked at Virgil. His eyes bleary and Virgil just continued to hold him, knowing he just needed to be reassured.
"I'm so weak" He said in an angry, horse voice.
"No your strong, you only feel weak as your body has used up so much energy, a strong person knows he can let it go." Virgil said with a small smile
"You won't tell the others will you?" Scott asked. He didn't want his little brothers to know about his out burst.
"What that you cried, course not. They know you are grieving. Things will get easier I promise" They sat there in silence and just gazed out at the ocean watching the waves lap around the island, hitting the beach.
"Fancy a lift?" Virgil asked a gleam in his eyes
"Oh no! I can walk thanks" Scott replied snuffly thinking of Virgil's fireman carry and how he always ended up landing in some awkward position.
"A piggy back?" Virgil enquired, one eye brow cocked remembering the races they had when hey were children.
"Now that's something I could try" Scott remembered when they young and had races like Virgil. Virgil wasn't the most athletic and lost in most races but he was strong and always won when it came to carrying an extra person on his back.
Scott draped the blanket over his arm, and Virgil took the flask and the long disgaurded cups. Scott laughed a little as Virgil went by a rock and Scott climbed on his back
"Boy your heavier now, maybe you need to go on a diet" Virgil said earning him a light punch on his shoulder from Scott
"Well you may be my brother but you were always heavier than me" Scott retorted
"I have more muscle" Virgil replied "You never had any strength in those twigs of arms" Earning him another light punch from his brother. Virgil then galloped down the hill with Scott was on his back, laughing and groaning to be heard all over the island.
Grumbling Jeff rolled out of bed and walked to the balcony to give whichever son that had awoken him a piece of his mind. Jeff looked out onto the balcony to see what the noise was about and saw his eldest son riding his middle son down the hall. He smiled in spite of being woken by the noise to see his oldest look so carefree. He knew Virgil would have the answer. Virgil was one of those people so like his wife, the enjoyment of helping others emotionally rather than physically.
Another Tracy looked out over the roof who had been star gazing with Virgil earlier and suggested the talk. He heard what he thought was his oldest brother's laugher and if he was not mistaken riding his younger brother...wait riding? He starred out, grabbing his binoculars to justify what he saw. Was that a smile on his eldest brothers face? John smiled, Virgil must have told him. He was glad Virgil had taken his advice, Scott needed to know that though he was the oldest he was never alone.
We are only alone if we cut ourselves off from others.