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Ufufufu...
Why hello there, my readers, fancy a good read? But before I proceed, I'll proceed to get you guys up to speed of what happened in the latest arc: because of my strategic plans and my assumed position of General, the demon lord's eldest and most powerful son was beaten, the pillar squads were pulverized, for the lack of a better word to describe their conditions, and Akumano Academy have been driven back to hell and everything went back to normal. Except that Ishiyama High school have to be rebuilt again, Hilda(a blond, busty, gothic Lolita chick) lost her memories, Oga having a 'father switch', still carrying a demonic baby named Beelzebub on his back and stupid enough to allow En(Beel's elder and a lot more sensitive brother)to come over to his house and play video games with him and seriously, Oga, do you even know how fricking persistent he is? He will keep on playing until he wins and he sucks donkey Kong at games, OGA YOU IDIOT-
Oh please, excuse me, nearly had a rage fit there. Yeah, 'normal' isn't exactly a proper adjective to describe the aftermath but the again, what is normal? Like me, Furuichi Takayuki, a young law-abiding citizens who somehow got enrolled in a delinquent school, not normal any way, yet you don't see me complain about it...most of the time.
Besides, I'm pretty sure this will be dealt with by the next arc and, despite the fact i love Hilda('s bosom and butt), I will not exploit her amnesia to get into her panties. That's how much of a gentleman I am, PM me now, there's plenty more of me to come around for you girls.
And besides, I got an utmost important matter in my hand right now.
Tekken.
Tag.
Tournament.
2!
Holy shit, it has been a long time responding to all those requests and death threats you guys at Namco must been getting but finally, you have answered! With the return Jun Kazama as a sugar on top! I've waiting for a day that I can play both as a MILF and Asuka Kazama(a busty school girl)in one match.
And at the night of its long awaited arcade release, I didn't even bother to change out of my school uniform or even bathe, I just dabbed a stick of deodorant on my armpit, bid my family goodbye and ran out of my suburban Japanese home with a smile on my face and all of my savings, which was a 1000 yen, in my wallet, I'm ready to sprint my ass all the way there, going through rain, oceans and nuclear fallouts just for it.
Nah, I'm just kidding, by the time i get there on foot, I'll be at least 80 years old. Buses are out of the question, those bus drivers were afraid of the delinquents of Ishyama. I mean, come on, it's just one time that the delinquents overturned the bus just because there was a 100 yen beneath it, we won't bite.
I'm just going to find Alain Dulon(At least i think that is the correct spelling) and have him transferring me there.
But then I saw those three girls.
Yuka, Ryouko and Kaoru, all Ishyama High student, all from the infamous all girls delinquent gang, the Red Tails and most importantly-
"It's that pervert!" Ryouko shouted, or as much as she can while being muffled by her own surgical mask."Quick, Yuka, get your trumpet out! Kaoru, get the belt!"
Wait, what?
Before I knew what the hell was going on, Yuka pulled out a trumpet(from the skirt, i guess) played a song that somehow sound familiar but couldn't put my finger on it, then Kaoru came up to me and place a belt on my left shoulder. No, it's not the one that holds up your pants but a (most likely, fake)gold-plated, wrestling championship belt, engraved in it were a depiction of a...
Panty?
"In this corner,"Ryouko announced into a microphone, yeah I'm confused just as much as you guys."Currently the World middleweight Perverted Champion, weighing in at 50 kilograms: FURUICHI!"
Are they still having a misunderstanding that I'm a pedo? I've already told them a hundred times that I just landed on Lamia-
"You suck!" Kaoru sang along(well, tried to while stifling her laughter)with what seems to be Yuka's chorus of the song."You suck! YOU SUCK! You suck!"
Wait a minute, I remember this song...
"I..."I try to disarm this awkward situation."You guys must have a lot of time in your hands-"
"And in this corner!" but Ryouko was not done yet with her sudden ass announcement. She pointed to a child at the other side of the street and continued "In this corner is tonight's opponent, weighing in at 20 kilograms: an eight-year-old!"
Needless to say, I was dumbstruck, jaws wide open, blue in shock, eyes turned black, still hearing "you suck!" from Kaoru-
"Daddy, why is that creepy grown-up look at me funny?" the loli said to her dad, who immediately picked her up and warned her not to approach me. Are you serious? You can't tell the difference between a real pedobear and the misunderstood one? Someone should reeducate them-
"You can't reeducate if it's already proven you had fucked a little girl!"
What da hell, Ryouko? How the hell did you read my narratives?
"Uh, guys, we are getting late, we must hurry!" thankfully, Yuka took a right time to stop and look at her watch and remind her friends of where are they going.
"Wait, where are you going?" I asked once a thought came into my mind.
"None of your busi-"Ryouko tried to speak but Yuka interrupted her "We're going to Himekawa's place! Well, new place, a bit fancier than the apartment, he said. He's throwing a victory party for driving those akumano students out of our school! What's left of it, anyway."
"...Yeah, that. But you better not be following-"
"Meh,I'm not going there anyway, I got something...urgent, to do," I answered hastily.
"And it is?"
"Ummm-"
"Actually, I don't want to know about your sick plans of satisfying your fetish!"
And with that, the girls left with an offhanded middle finger to me.
"Why do you guys need to set up such an elaborate prank like this?"
"Well," Yuka turned to me and answered my question."They just found out that I played trumpets, they came up with this idea."
"Err..." Okay, random hidden depths is random, though, that's probably why it's hidden, and probably not as random as Oga knowing how to play the piano and Hilda loving soap opera.
"Don't judge me," she whined and pouted."I just love ska, that's all."
"Uh huh, just like how Ryouko and Kaoru watch WWE enough to remember Kurt-"
"Didn't you mention something about some urgent matter?" Kaoru commented before grabbing Yuka's arm and going off their ways down the pavement.
Though to their credit, Lamia was kinda cute in a tsundere way-
NO, I'm not a pedo, I'm not a pedo, I'm not a pedo-
"Wow, that must be tough being a Casanova," I jumped as soon as a masculine voice said that line.
"Alain! Don't sneak up on me like that!" I scolded.
"Oh sorry," he apologized while stroking his curly moustache."But as I was saying, it must have been really hard. As soon as you score a heart of the coldest hearted little demon of the world and almost everyone in your school witness it, almost every girl seem to be withdrawing out of your harem as soon as they learned of your new found relationship."
"I don't think they are jealous of me being a pedo. And by any remote chance, I'm seriously hoping you referring to Hilda, not that brat-"
"But of course not! I'm referring to Lamia! Every boy who tries to date her was immediately rejected and every request to give them a chance, she would kick them in the tender area and you have won over her within a few attempts! I even heard from her mother that she acts a lot like a lovebird and she blushed a lot more when ask if she have a boyfriend-"
"She's not my girlfriend, GODDA-wait a minute,"at first, I yelled but then, I remember my intention."Alain, can you transfer me to the game center, I'm in a rush."
"Nope, sorry."
"What, why?"
"Today's my day off."
...
Day off, I echoed that phrase in my head while I repeatedly slammed my head against Alain's hardened muscular chest in...I don't know...disappointment? Irritation? Bowel movement?
"But if it's any consolation, i do have a-"
"What? You gonna drive me there?"
"Sort of..."
...
As I go down the road
this was what I see
everybody stopped and staring at me
I've got a nutshot in my dignity and I'm afraid to show it...
Show it...
Im riding on a pogo.
*cue annoying techno shit*
That's what I would sang(in my head, of course) if I weren't carrying a large transfer dimensional demon whose possibly be bisexual holding on my back and having ripped muscles that adds up to 100KG!
Or somewhere around 250 pounds for you Americans.
"Oh wow," Ryouko commented, the she took the microphone out of her hyperspace skirt and announced "And the winner and still World Middleweight Perverted Champion: Furuichi!"
They laughed like a sadistic hyenas they are and then they go back to their conversation, planning to ignore me and the rusty spring in the tiny pink pogo stick.
"Ooh, Takayuki-san, don't take it to heart," Alain attempted to comfort me but him rubbing me on the back doesn't hepp it at all."How about a swig to turn that frown upside down."
I can feel him digging through his pocket and he produced a canteen and show it in front of my face, already unscrewed to let me drink it immediately. Don't do that, Alain, it's dangerous to do that, I could have drifted violently to the side and stub my toe on the stop sign.
Regardless, though, I took the canteen out of his hand and took a sip in the mentality of "What could possibly go wrong?". Besides, it has no smell whatsoever.
...
...
...
The next morning, i woke up, not in my bed but on the Tekken Tag 2 arcade cabinet, as evident by a set of 5 buttons and a joystick on each side and an artwork of Jin and Kazuya Kazama staring down at me from the top.
Strange thing, though, I can't remember playing the actual game myself, all I could remember is Jun and Asuka Kazama vs Steve Fox and Marshall Law-
What the hell, why am I shirtless? I've just realized after feeling a cold breeze.
That would be acceptable if I wore pants too.
And when I look around though, it was not filled with row by row of countless other arcade cabinets but rather, a bookshelf full of ecchi mangas and a Playstation 2 console-wait, I'm in my room? Did I actually bring a huge bulky cabinet into my room?
I looked down and found my school shirt and pants, plus...another school shirt and a...skirt?
Crumpled school attires? Two sets of them? And a Bra and panty beside them? And a lump under the blanket on my bed?
I picked the blanket up slowly, not knowing what to expect, and took a peek under it and-what the fuuu-?
"Mmm, good morning, Furuichi-san~"
"Yu...Yu...Yuka?"
"Huh, is there something wrong?"
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief, thinking it was a tricky optical illusion, yet she's still there.
I pinch myself, thinking it's a dream, she's still there.
Dashed to the bathroom to wash my face with ice cold water, then back to the room, she's still there.
Knocked my head onto the wall, she's still there.
I pinched her cheek-
"Furuichi!" she said while pushing my hand away. "You're acting so weird today. What is up?"
"I...you're...real?"
"Of course I am. You just pinched my cheeks."
...
...
...
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT BATMAN, I nailed a woman.
After fifteen years of spending my life as a lonely, sad, desperate virgin and compensating it with endless hentais, I've finally had sex! Real life sex! Sure, Yuka does not exactly Hilda type of sexy but doesn't matter, had sex!
And I can't remember a single fucking thing about it!
"Furuichi-san, why are you banging your head against the wall again?" Yuka said while she sat up while holding the blanket onto her bare chest.
"But more importantly," I evaded said question with another."What happened last night?"
"It was so wonderful, Furuichi, when you insert your-"
"Before I bang you, that is."
"Oh, well...uh, first, you, uh..."
...
"You can't remember, don't you?"
"Tehehe," and she does that classic 'silly me' pose, with the tongue sticking out and a rub on the back of her head. While cute, it also infuriates me.
"Oh yeah, could you-"
"Yes, yes, I won't tell your leader that I slept with you, them and their strange law of once having a boyfriend, you have to leave the group, yada yada yada. Why did you join the Red Tails anyway?"
"Friends."
"That's a strange way to make one."
"And yet, your only friend is Oga."
"...Good point. By the way, what time is it-Holy shit, we're gonna be late for school!"
No time for showers, then. I just change into a fresh new uniform, grab my bag and dab on a deodorant stick onto my armpit again.
"You can wear my fresh shirt if you like," I offered but left my room too soon to hear her answer.
And so begins a mystery, not of murders and CIA conspiracies but hangovers and a button mashing fighting game. My first lead that came into my mind is...
Oga Tatsumi.
I dunno, he IS a lead character in the manga and the anime, after all.
Furuchi's ghost writer's note: thank you for reading it because that sonova bitch doesn't pay me enough for a fanfic. Just thought this concept up while playing Tekken Tag 2 while, at the time, stopped at the video game arc and I was like "Hurr durr, what would happen if they did get hyped up about Tekken Tag 2 too.". But who cares about my life story, constructive criticism please.