Where in time is Magica Despell?
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Note to PBS: please don't sue me.
Boom is putting out a "Word Girl" comic in Oct. Call me if you ever lose the monkey and the annoying newscaster.
Note to all who keep saying Gladstone's eyes look funny in Boom's Ducktales: that's to show he's been hypotized by "Toots" from "Spys in our eyes", OK?
With a sort of thanks to Grimlock, King of stories for giving me this idea from your story: "Treasure of the Lost Lamp: When Reality Ends."
Launchpad was helping UT (1)build a new time machine. That is, Launchpad was making it airworthy, since UT knows about as much about building an airplane, helicopter or rocket as Launchpad knows about building a time machine. Do not waste time trying to convince me otherwise nor pointing to story where UT invented an airship, I don't believe it. Sorry.
While the two were occupied, Magica snuck in and stole the old time machine. Nobody told her the reason UT and Launchpad were building a new one was the old one was malfunctioning.
They soon discovered the time machine was missing. In it's place was a note reading: "Stolen: one time machine. Magica Despell."
'What do you mean the time machine could take her to times that didn't happen?" Launchpad asked.
"The Millenium Shortcut is malfuntioning. It could take her to possible "pasts" that never actually happened but could have." UT tried to explain.
"Never mind. I get a headache thinking about such things. I made the Millienium Shortcut able to fly, even in space, because you can't go back in time safely in a time machine that can't fly. The earth revolves , it orbits the sun and it moves in space. Go back or forth in time on Terra Firma, you could end up over the ocean or in the middle of empty space, because the Earth isn't where it was. I better go after her or she'll try to make a nasty possible past real, right?" Launchpad asked.
"Knowing her? Of course." UT replied.
"You coming?" Launchpad asked.
"Of course not. I'm staying here where it's safe. If she changes the past, I'll deal with whatever changes she made." UT asked.(2)
"Can I come?" I asked Launchpad.
Me and Gina (3) had been keeping an eye on them since those two often get in silly inventions vs. airplanes arguments.
"What about the kids?" Launchpad asked.
"They're with my parents. But what happens if you get killed, God forbid, in one of those possible pasts? Do our kids cease to exist like in "Back to the Future"? I asked.
"Got a point there. You can come." Launchpad replied.
So ...off we went. The Shortcut was still tapped in to "our" computer, we would go whenever Magica went.
Launchpad and I took the new time machine, which didn't have a name yet, back to whenever Magica had gone.
"The Shortcut went BACK in time, it didn't go to the future, that much we're sure of.." Launchpad said. "The Millieum Shortcut can't go forward in time right now, because it's not working right."
"Maybe that's just as well? If Magica changes the past, it could just create an alternate time line, one WE don't have to live in. " I replied. " If she changes the FUTURE, we may have to live in it, sooner or later."
Soon, we arrived.
"Where and when ARE we? Looks like the middle of no place." I said, looking at the tiny town nearby.
"1950...maybe late 1949. A place called...Frostbite Falls, Minnosota."(4) Launchpad replied, reading the time and place dials. The time dial was wembling between 1949 and 1950.
"What could Magica possible change here?" I asked.
Magica was asking herself the same question.
() What am I doing in this dirtwater town? What possible interest could this place hold for any self-respecting villain? It's even smaller and more run down than Uppa Creek in the Klondyke! Wait! Could that be it? Could this place have some signifignance in Scroogie's life, like Uppa Creek does?()() Magica wondered.
And Magica started searching the town for Mr. McDuck. And scared the locals out of what little wits they had. We were soon chasing her, trying to stop her or catch her or make her leave.
"What are you doing here, anyway, Magica?" Launchpad asked.
"This is where stupid time machine brought me. Scroogie is here someplace, no?" Magica replied.
"Why would Mr. McDuck be here? I doubt he's ever heard of the place, never mind be here!" Launchpad replied.
"You know Scrooge is here, don't you? You know why and where?" Magica asked.
"I haven't even been hatched yet! How should I know? But I can't possibly imagine why Mr. McDee be here! He probably isn't!" Launchpad replied.
"I will find out!" Magica said. And she continued to search, scaring the daylight out of all the nobodies in town.
And one soon to be infamous somebody. It seem a train, bound for someplace else, had broken down in Frostbite Falls that day, stranding the passengers. Amoung said passengers was one Senator Joseph R. McCarthy of Wisconsin (5).
Senator Mc Carthy was highly humilatied at being made to stay here overnight like the peons. But being an unimportant sentator from an unimportant state...stuck he was.
He was so terrified by Magica that, thinking she was a commie (because of her accent and because he didn't want to believe in magic. Her being a commie, he could deal with.) he starting going around accusing people of being commies, saying there were commies in the government, seeing commies under every bed. He got so much attention and power from doing this, he went right on doing it and the Red Scare was soon on.
Magica, meanwhile, finally realized that Mr. McDuck was NOT in town. since she couldn't imagine what she could DO in this dirtwater town to affect history, she got back in the Shortcut and left. We got in our time machine and followed her.
VOTE PLEASE! SHOULD I HAVE MAGICA GO TO JELLYSTONE PARK AND MAKE YOGI ALWAYS HUNGRY OR HAVE "ME" AND LAUNCHPAD ENCOUNTER THIS KID NAMED JONNY QUEST AND A PILOT NAMED RACE BANNON OR WHAT?
Magica, by this time, had figured out how to steer the Shortcut. Instead of it taking her to a random place and time, it took her where and when she wanted to go.
"Where and when are we?" I asked Launchpad, once we had followed her.
"Ut-oh. Scotland. 51 years ago." Launchpad replied.
"Didn't Mr. McDee get stinking Lucky Dime in Scotland, 51 years ago?" I asked.
"THAT's what I was ut-ohing about." Launchpad replied.
Magica was, of course, after Mr. McDuck's Lucky Dime. Magica already knew in which city in Scotland Mr. McDuck had gotten the Dime. Her strategy was simple: she was attempting to steal every american dime in that city- in Scotland if necessary- before Mr. McDuck could get THE Dime. She would test each dime to see if it was the Lucky Dime. Not that I'M convinced there was anything special about old Number One before Mr. McDuck believed in it's Luck.
Soon, everybody in the city knew about the lunatic on a broomstick who was robbing banks and people and only taking American dimes. But Mr. McDuck didn't live in the city, he lived in the countryside. He came to the city to find a job. Mr. McDuck got a job in a barber shop, sweeping hair and feathers. (6)
A customer, Adam Coil (7) came in the shop to get his boots cleaned. Adam Coil was stranger in town and had bought the local paper to pass the time while getting boots cleaned and polished. Adam Coil read about lunatic flying on broomstick and stealing american dimes. Adam Coil realized HE had an american dime in his wallet and suddenly wanted to be rid of it, the sooner the better. Rationalizing his actions, he thought:
()() American dimes must be worth a lot here for some reason or why would this person be stealing them?()()
and he GAVE THE LUCKY DIME TO MR. MCDUCK!
Meanwhile, Magica was scaring and upsetting the locals. Including the local witches and warlocks. Who didn't like crazy witch upseting the normals. They used their magic against her. Including some who hadn't known they were witches or warlocks until now. And Scottish magic can be VERY powerful.
And their were several local magic users and only ONE Magica. Soon, realizing she could never get the Dime this way and in interest of her continued health, got into the Shortcut and headed for Uppa Creek, 50 years ago.
()() I will get there right after Scroogie does, before I arrived the last time I time traveled there (8) ()() Magica thought. () I will "obtain" all he needs to hunt for gold- shovels,a tin pan, a pick, food- and trade it to him for the Lucky Dime! Since he does know then know the Dime's power, he will surely makes such a "great" deal!()()
Magica arrived in Uppa Creek and "obtained" some basic mining equipment. Maybe she swiped them, maybe she magiced them up. What difference does it make? Magica let everybody knew she would sell the mining equipment for a "special" dime.
"I will know it when I see it. Not just any dime will do." Magica said.
Soon, Magica was swamped by miners trying to sell their dimes for the equipment.
We got there and saw Magica arguing with the miners, telling them that she wouldn't trade for THEIR dime, only one "special" dime.
"We've got to stop her before Mr. McD, not knowing any better YET makes that deal!" Launchpad said.
And we hastened over towards her...then Launchpad came to a dead stop near a paperboy who was taking advantage of the crowd to try and sell his papers.
"Wait a minute! THAT'S today's paper?" Launchpad asked the paperboy.
"Of course. I wouldn't have much luck trying to sell yesterday's paper, would I?" the paperboy replied.
Launchpad looked at the paper.
"Let's leave Magica fighting off those miners, shall we?" He asked.
"But Mr. McD..." I objected.
"Isn't here yet. He won't be here for months yet. Magica goofed. Mr. McDuck told me he came to the Klondyke 50 years ago..in the SPRING. This is the Klondyke, 50 years...in JANUARY." Launchpad explained.
"She got here as soon as possible to steal the Dime- only she got here TOO soon!" I said, catching on.
We went back to our time machine and went home, leaving Magica to the mob of miners.
Magica looked over the miners, searching in vain for Mr. McDuck. Magica didn't know Mr. McDuck wasn't there, yet. When Mr. McDuck first got to the USA, he got a job working for his "rich" uncle who owned a riverboat. Only his uncle was cheap and Mr. McDuck got sick of it and struck out on his own. (6, again.)
Mr. McDuck had seen newpaper stories about people striking it rich in the Klondyke, but ignored them...until he read a story about a lady selling all the mining equipment one miner could want for one measly dime. THAT got Mr. McDuck's attention and he headed for the Klondyke.
When got there, he found out crazy lady was long gone and had kept saying she would only sell in an exchange for a 'special" dime, which she never found. This helped plant in his subconscious the notion that there was, indeed, something special about his Dime.
Magica, of course, had long since gotten disgusted and gave up and went home.
"Did Magica change anything?" Launchpad asked when we got home.
"No. Actually, she caused things to happen that were supposed to happen...only for different reasons." UT replied. "She left the Shortcut right back where she got it, she was almost out of bomblastium, so she just went home."
"Good. with Magica's magic the only thing to do is keep her busy and wait till she gets tired and goes home. there's no way to stop her or talk sense into her. I've tried..." Launchpad said.
"Don't worry about what you can't do. Do what you can, do the best you can, and don't worry about what you can't do." I replied.
And I kissed my Launchpad.
The End.
(1) Do NOT cancel Ducktales and be Nice to Launchpad and I will call UT by his given name.
Since you DID give Ducktales it's own comic again* I am sorta getting into the mutual aid society of Launchpad and UT.
( *if only for a little while. Why do I suspect you're ticked off because it sold better than DW or Rescue Rangers if not better than BOTH combined? And because nobody was interested in a Talespin comic. Can't prove it.)
(2) Personally, I think the future UT in "Duck to the Future" could have made bomblastium if he wanted to. He had the liquid stuff that becomes bomblastium when frozen, and a freezer, even if he was techically telling the truth when he said he could never find more...it doesn't exist in it's frozen form in nature.
He had the same job, with almost the same boss, the same home...if the rest of the world was misable, let THEM change the past, HE wasn't going to rock the boat. Don't get me wrong, such nerds are nice people, they're good people. They're just not very BRAVE people. Not that courage is the be all and end all.
(3) Ugly Twerp's wife. They've been married for decades. Nice lady, but she couldn't be more "invisible" if she were Susan Storm Richards. I'm glad SOMEBODY loves UT, he's OK.
(4) ATTENTION WHOMEVER OWNS THE RIGHTS TO BULLWINKLE: IT'S A JOKE! PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!
(5) Not to be confused with Eugene McCarthy of Minnesota who became senator later in the 50's and who wasn't a nogoodnik.
(6) Je ne give a bleep about how he really got the Dime. Je ne give a bleep about Don Rosa, Carl Barks or the guy who stapled the comic books together.
(7) See my story:"Where the Dime came from" and no, I don't expect you to care about ME, either. Just my stories, I hope.
(8) Disney's Ducktales #17 and 18 , where they were in such a hurry to get rid of Launchpad they left UT stranded in the 20's with no way to get home. Do you suppose they'll EVER realize they are slitting their own throats to spite somebody else?