Captain Ben Finn watched Walter and the princess for what he knew was far longer than he should have as they picked their way through the mud of Mourningwood's swampy landscape. He still wasn't quite sure what he thought of the leader of Albion's rebellion, but that probably had more to do with the fact that he still wasn't quite sure how she felt about him.
She had given him such mixed signals that he'd nearly sworn her off, but after yesterday afternoon-but she'd told him to forget all about yesterday afternoon- no, she'd told him that it had never happened. The thing was, to forget something like that would be impossible for him. If she really didn't want him then she'd just made it harder for herself because, for him, the best part was all in the sweet thrill of the chase.
She may have given herself up to him, but he knew that there was something she was holding back, something that maybe she didn't even know she was hiding and that little glimpse of it that she had given to him had driven him into a near feeding frenzy.
"Come off it, Ben." He scolded himself in a whisper. "For once give in that this one might actually be out of your league."
He could still see a faint outline of the figures making their way into the fog. Nah, there was no way he was going to be able to forget about her.
"Captain Finn! The Major needs you to oversee the supplies while we pack." Private Grove told him as he passed on his way to do his share of the packing up.
"Right!" Ben turned away from the open gate and walked over to a group of men that were lounging around a makeshift sleeping quarter. "Come on, men! Look alive! We want to get out of here before nightfall, don't we?" There was a general agreement among the men, but none of them moved. "Well, let's get these supplies up and running! On the bounce!"
He'd helped them tie in their bedrolls and gathered his own meager belongings when a rather expensive if not shabby looking book caught his eye. "Does this belong to any of you?" He knew that it didn't, else he would have seen it before. It is hard to keep secrets when the only walls you have are the ones you had to piss behind.
It had been a long time since he'd held anything so obviously costly in his hands; a soldier was really only paid enough to feed him, especially a soldier with Ben's appetites. The pages were lined in gold and the leather of the binding was soft and pliable but sturdy. There was a tiny lock holding those gilded pages together. It was also well made and probably cost more than he'd make in a month, even so, it took a few minutes of brow furrowing to decide not to break it. Instead he dug into his own rucksack and pulled out a leather envelope that housed several differently shaped metal pins. Some were as thick as a pen with squiggled ends, some were straight as arrows and had sharp enough ends to remind you of those antiquated missiles as well.
The one he took from the kit was tiny with only the slightest hint of curves. He slipped it into the adorably heart shaped lock and gave it a few twists and a turn or two later it snapped open for him. The pages within it were well used and worn, but also well taken care of. The first of which was scrawled upon in a large very childish hand, but he could tell the writer was trying very hard to write as elegantly as her tiny hands could manage:
'You have found the very secret diary of Princess Eleanor Rose. Anyone who reads farther than this first page will be punished. And probably quite severely, my mother is queen after all!
DO NOT READ ON! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!'
"Oh princess! You really ought not to keep treasures like this just laying around, love!" He grinned and tucked the book, the lock and his kit of lockpicks back into his rucksack as he heard his name called again to oversee the desertion of Mourningwood fort.
He waited all day. Just knowing that the diary was in his reach, but that he was bound by duty to ignore it's call, was very nearly torture. The entire time the princess had been in his company, he had longed to know what she was thinking behind that regal posturing that he knew had to be for show. Behind her title and her birth, she was just another woman- but she wasn't. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he found her...interesting. Much more so than the women he'd thought he'd loved in the past.
"You're not in love with her." He reminded himself.
"Sorry, sir?" Lips asked as they marched through the swamps.
"Nothing, Private. As you were." He muttered.
Evening could not come quickly enough. When they'd finally made camp among the laid back people who had settled on the safer side of Mourningwood, he declined joining the rest of the boys for a drink with the locals in favor of tucking in early, much to the chagrin of his fellows. He knew how much they loved his stories, but tonight someone else's adventures were on his mind.
The first pages after the warning were written in the same impishly elegant scrawl. He pulled out his flask and took a nice long swig before diving right in.
...
'I am the Princess of Albion
The Most High Princess Eleanor of Albion
Princess Eleanor Rose
Princess Ellie Rose... Yes... I like that one the best I think
Today is my seventh birthday! My mother gave me this book to write in. At first I was sad when I opened it and there was nothing inside, but it is a journal! I can write about all of my adventures in here! My mother is an adventurer and I bet the stories she could write would fill lots and lots of these books! And she is the queen too! I asked her if I could be queen on my next birthday and she just laughed. My brother Logan is an adventurer too. That is how I know I will be one when I grow up! Because I am going to be just like my big brother!'
...
"I certainly hope not." Ben muttered to himself as he turned the page. "It'd be a pointless rebellion if you were."
...
'Logan came home today from fighting trolls! Everyone in the castle says that he has done away with all of the horrible beasts! I hope so! Trolls are scary! And do you know what, Diary? He brought me a birthday present too! He didn't forget! He gave me a puppy! Mother asked me what I wanted to call it and he looked so fierce and loyal the only name I could think of was Walter. She laughed so hard when she heard! I love hearing my mother laugh! It is the most beautiful sound in the world, Diary... well, maybe the second most beautiful... Sir Wally Bark's got a pretty nice howl on him too!'
...
"Sir Wally Bark., eh?" Ben chuckled. "Poor old chap couldn't have been happy with that the first time he'd heard about it."
When he'd met her, the Princess Eleanor had been an enigma, someone who seemed to hope no one would know who she really was, and it had been what had attracted him to her in the first place. This Ellie Rose was as honest as they come and after two pages he found himself enamoured on the little lass. She was sweet; not something he would have associated with her adult counterpart, but it suited her.
...
'The oddest thing happened to me today. A boy made my stomach tingle in the funniest way. I still don't understand it! I was out in the gardens doing my art lessons like I do every Tuesday- my teacher seems to think that if I paint the same chicken every week, he will be able to gauge my abilities... no matter how many times I tell him that I am bored of chickens.- when this ruffian, Percy, came out of nowhere and kissed me! Right on the cheek! Well, he would have at least, if another boy named Elliot had not shoved him off his feet hollering "You have insulted this maiden's honour!" It all happened so fast! I barely even saw Percy's fist as it landed on Elliot's face, but I did give him a good smacking of his own! Poor Elliot! I gave him my handkerchief to wipe away the blood. He was actually kind of cute under all the red. I hope I get to see him again soon!'
…
"Well well, Ellie." He smirked at the book.. He pictured a tiny version of her painting chickens and he couldn't decide if he would be the one who would kiss her or defend her honour. He frowned then. He knew exactly which one she would see him as. He could have probably made a better first impression on her, but it wasn't as if he could help it, he always seemed to make an ass of himself in front of the women he was drawn to. It was a gift.
He rifled through the pages of the journal; the young princess Ellie Rose was making him feel more inadequate than the adult version had. She was too innocent. Too sweet. He flipped through until he came to a page that seemed to have been soaking wet at some point. The ink was blotted and the letters were swollen and soft. There were several places where the writing was completely smudged out and unreadable. Despite all of that, the writing had vastly improved since the entry about painting chickens and getting kissed.
…
'She's gone. Her laugh. The way she would ignore everything else to find Logan and me as soon as she came home from wherever she'd gone. The calmness her voice would bring when we had our talks. It is all just... gone.
For a while I thought that I could just pretend that she was out on one of her adventures, ridding the countryside of balverines or bandits, but she really is truly gone. I don't know what I am going to do without her. Who is going to teach me the things that a mother teaches her daughter? I felt as if I were already behind and now... but here I am being selfish again!
What shall Albion do without it's queen now that she is buried with her husband in the old undercroft, surrounded by stone and silence? It isn't fair that Logan had her for so much longer than I did! And now he is to be king! He sits on her throne while she sleeps below us all. I hate him! (smears of unreadable ink) No. I can't hate him. He is the only family I have left now. And he is kind. He has always been kind, and now more so than ever. I simply wish that he'd wait to be crowned until (more dark blobs of ink) until the kingdom had had time to mourn.
(A large block of scribbled out text)
Oh Mother! I miss you so much! Perhaps the old seer will bring you back, like she did your sister so long ago...'
...
Ben could not continue reading. He wiped his eyes and set the book aside. It was late and his candle was almost gone. That must be it, he was simply tired, that was all. The sounds of his fellow soldiers indulging in their merriment rang in his ears and it made him sick to his stomach. How could they be enjoying themselves while the kingdom lay in shambles around them? While their princess was out in the world fighting for their freedom while feeling so alone! He wanted to hold her, to tell her that he understood, even though he knew that his losses could not possibly compare to hers.
"Get ahold of yourself, Ben!" He shook his head and blew out his candle before turning over to his side. "The old queen died years ago, and Ellie is stronger than she looks."
He grasped desperately at sleep, only to find his mind full of dogs and chickens and boys covered in blood smeared handkerchiefs, all hiding in the castle crypt. It was a long night, but when he finally did fall asleep, it was with a question of what the next entry would hold.