Jamie: My dad Paddy Magiure is full of suprises. His a big tough guy and a huge gangster. My son and wife Conner and Karen Maguire are my two faveriote people in the entire world. Family can be fucked up or it can be good mine kind of fucked up due to dad leaving and mum getting pregnant by Billy and then them having Cilla. My family is huge my brothers Shane, Micky, Donny and Joey and Fergal but he died and my sisters Cilla and Mandy but Mandy also died, she died too young.
Karen: Jamie Conner's drawn a cock on the wall again
Jamie: Rocket
Karen: But look
Jamie: It will come off
Karen: Fine
(downstairs)
Mimi: Whats that for
Billy: Cilla she can wear it
Mimi: Over my dead body is my baby wearing that piece of shit
Billy: It's not that bad
Mimi: It's fucking dreadful and she has a dress already
Billy: Fine
(In Franks house)
Aiden: Why can't I go out
Frank: Who will look after Stella
Aiden: You her father
Frank: Aiden listen we need cheaper drugs now
Aiden: Frank
Lititia: Mum can have her
Aiden: Yeah
Frank: Fine
Aiden and Lititia: Yes
(Aiden and Lititia leave)
(next door)
Avril: Hello Stella
Frank: You couldn't have her for a little while could you
Avril: Fine
(in the pub)
(Paddy Maguire enters)
Paddy: Jamie
Jamie: Alright dad
Paddy: Aha Karen my sweetheart I got you a presant and the receat it's not stolen
(Paddy show's Karen a necklace)
Karen: It's beautiful
Summer: Dad you wont believe this that fat bitch you were married to married an eighteen year old
Jamie: Oi you watch your mouth about my mum
Summer: Or fucking what
Paddy: Jamie meet Summer your little sister
Jamie: Hi
Summer: Being pregnant isn't fun
Karen: Tell me about it
Jamie: Who'd you fuck at fifteen to get pregnant
Summer: Im not fifteen I'm thirteen
Jamie: That's fucking worse thirteen and up the duff
Summer: Oh piss off
( Paddy and Summer sit down)
(Karen comes over)
Karen: On the house
Paddy: That's my girl
(Karen walks away)
Paddy: Your mother Monica Gallagher
Summer: Didn't she fuck Frank and then Fiona, Lip, Carl, Debbie, Liam and Stella come as Ian isn't Frank's and Nigel and Delia are Shelia's
Paddy: Yes
(in the estate)
Sue: Billy will you help me and Scarlett hurry up are you all here still Billy yes, Scarlett yes, David yes, Luke yes, Hannah yes, Bethany yes, good.
Billy: Where's daddy
Scarlett: I want dad
Marty: Sue
Sue: Marty
Marty: My kids Kelly they are my kids there's Billy, there's Scarlett, there's David, there's Luke, theres Hannah and there's Bethany
Kelly: Fuck sake Marty
Sue: Are you Marty's new tart
Kelly: Love your the only TART around here
Marty: I missed *wanna fuck you*, you
Kelly: Marty
Marty: Daddy had a baby who sadly died
Billy: Boy or girl
Marty: Your sister
Kelly: We named her Geri-Bell
Sue: Aww, slut
Kelly: Who you called a slut
Marty: Ladies *fuck each other* stop it
Sue: She started it
Marty: Come to the party tonight
(in the pub)
Paddy: Shane
Shane: Hello dad what you doing here
Paddy: Visiting my family this is Summer your sister
Summer: Did you have a fight with a lawn mower cuz trust me the lawn mower bloody won
(Paddy starts laughing)
(Aiden walks in with Lititia)
Summer: Oi Aiden
Aiden: Summer
Lititia: Who's Summer
Aiden: Her
Summer: You have to fucking grow up that night we fucked look what fucking happened to me
Aiden: Oh my God
Lititia: You had sex with her
Aiden: Your thirteen
Summer: Yeah I know
Lititia: Your sixteen you could get arrested
Paddy: No he won't, Jamie a beer for Aiden here for making our Summer into a woman
Aiden: It was eight and a half months ago
Summer: Yeah I know
Frank: PARTY
(everyone enters)
Shelia: Karen, Nigel, Delia it's your sister Karen
Karen: Mum this is Conner your grandson
Shelia: My Karen done it my Karen became a wonderful mother whose the father
Jamie: Me I'm Jamie Maguire
Shelia: Hello
Monica: Summer Fiona Debbroah Stella Maguire what on earth is that bump
Summer: It's called teenage pregnantcy
Norma: At your age
Summer: Fuck yeah
Monica: Languge
Debbie: Dad
Frank: Debbie
Lip: Katie there's grandad
(Katie climbs on to the chair)
Katie: Hello grandad
(Micky walks in)
Micky: Mum this is Jasmine
Mimi: Jasmine Maguire is beautiful
Paddy: Micky bring her over here
Micky: Ok
(Micky takes Jasmine to Paddy)
Paddy: Our Jasmine is beautiful
Micky: I adopted her
Paddy: That's very nice of you son
(Fiona walks in with Steve and her kids)
Monica: Fiona
Fiona: Mum this is Steve and this is Callum and this is Sadie
Frank: They are beautiful just like their mummy
Fiona: Thanks dad
(Summer's waters break)
Summer: HELP
Sue: Ok don't worry your waters are broken
(Summer collapses to the floor)
Sue: Ok Summer, someone call an ambulance
Summer: Call it fucking now
Paddy: Come on girl
(Paddy kneels down)
Paddy: If any pedo's are looking at my Summer your dead
Sue: The baby is not waiting, push
(Summer screams)
Sue: COME ON GOOD GIRL
Paddy: Your a fucking Maguire you can do it you've punched big strong me now come on
(a baby starts crying)
Sue: Congatulations you've had a baby girl
Summer: Thank you so much, what's your name
Sue: Sue
Summer: Im going to call her Lola Sue Magiure
Mimi: Have this
Summer: Thank you
(Summer dresses Lola in a pink baby grow)
(Paramedics arrive)
Summer: About bloody time
(Summer and Paddy go in the ambulance with Lola)
Jamie: Families in my family I now also have Katie, Jasmine and Lola Im feeling my Conner is left out as the only boy. But be blessed with what you've already got as once you've got it you can't always fucking change and just for the record I love Karen and Conner more than any other person in the world would.