A/n:
Hiya!
So, I was grounded the other day, and this idea snuck into my brain!
I've been meaning to write a 60/86 for awhile… and, well, despite how odd, freaky Friday-esque this plot is I figured I'd at least try it. I'm still not sure about how Patton should be characterized. Oh well.
Pretend Fanny's accent is thick. I'm only going to change a few words to match her accent.
Enjoy!
( Also, writing 'Numbuh' rather than 'Number' gives me a headache, but since KND does 'Numbuh' I will try and follow suit )
Next chapter coming soon!
Rachel was walking beside two of her high ranking operatives, Numbuhs 86 and 60. Unfortunately for her, they were fighting. Again.
The more fired up Numbuh 86 got, the thicker her Scottish accent grew. Currently, the red-heads hands were balled into fists at her side, and she was barking at Numbuh 60. Numbuh 60 looked pretty at ease with the situation, a slightly arrogant smirk on his face.
"And what do ye think ye know?" Fanny snapped. "We can' do that sorta cruddy thing! It might work that way down in Eskimo-land, but not up here on the moon base."
"Actually, Numbuh 86, I think his idea wa-"
Numbuh 60 visibly twitched. "Eskimo-land? What are you, five? Besides, we do some of the most important things down there! It's 'Artic base', not 'Eskimo-land'"
Numbuh 86, although she was fully aware of the importance of the Artic training base, rolled her eyes dramatically. "The most important thing ye have to do is protect the module down there-"
"Training cadets isn't a walk in the park!"
"And ye think it's so much easier up here? Up here on moonbase, we supervise everything goin' on on earth! And we send enforcements when necessary!"
"Guys, both of your jobs are extremely important!" An exasperated Rachel said. "Anyway, can we get back to the topic on hand? We need to find a way to secure Sector H's perimeters, since a tapioca factory was built near them! If you're planning to argue, at least keep on topic."
"Sorry sir!" Both said. Immediately, their eyes shot to each other.
"Don' copy me, boy!" Fanny said, just as Patton declared, "Jinx. You owe me a coke."
"I do not owe ye anything! There's no way I'd owe a stupid boy!"
"You owe me, not a stupid boy."
"Ye ARE a stupid boy!"
Rachel shook her head and rubbed her temples. When these two were with her one on one, they had great ideas and, especially in Patton's case, they never got off track. But stick them together, and they got sidetracked every two minutes! When they were actually in combat, it was a different story entirely.
Rachel zoned out of their bickering, looking to the right to see another kids next door operative, who was fumbling with what appeared to be a soda bottle. He couldn't get the lid open.
Thankful for a distraction, Rachel offered to open it for him, with a sigh at her friends.
"I wish they'd get along." She muttered, as the boy handed it to her. She held the top of the bottle away from her (and towards the bickering couple) as she pulled it open.
The second it opened, the liquid splashed at Fanny and Patton as if it was a water gun. Both of them paused in their argument. The other people in the hallway paused to look at what had happen. Rachel was lost for words.
"W-what ju-"
The boy from before was gone. Rachel blinked. She examined the bottle. There was no label of what the product was named. It was labeled Two Days.
Assuming it was some new kind of soda, Rachel shrugged. "You guys oka-"
"C-Commander! We're-" Patton nudged an angry looking Fanny with his elbow. "sorry sir, we'll get right back on track!" Numbuh 60 said, covered in the clear soda. Numbuh 86 agreed.
Rachel glanced at the bottle. "Right. Stay on track, please." She placed the bottle in a trash can. "You guys should get cleaned up, you'll be sticky by lunch. And it was an accident, by the way."
The next morning, Patton woke up to the birds chirping outside of his window. He got up and stretched. He didn't notice that his floor wasn't blue anymore, or that the dark walls he'd painted himself last year were suddenly pink. He lifted a hand to scratch his head. His hair felt extremely thick. Puzzled, Patton decided that it must just be in a clump. He meandered over towards the mirror, and opened his groggy eyes.
He promptly screamed. The voice that came out was one he recognized all too well.
His hair was no longer black. It was red, and shoulder length. He was clothed in a green rainbow monkey tee shirt and pants. His arms were noodle like, and he didn't have any muscle to speak of anymore.
He was also a girl. But not just any girl.
He was Fanny Fulbright.
"Oh my code module…" He even had her voice. "What is the big idea of thi-"
"Fanny!" The door was slammed open. Mr. Boss stood there, his cigar askew. He looked very disheveled. "Fanny, what's wrong? Are you all right-?"
"Mr. B-" Patton clamped his- er, Numbuh 86's hand- over his (or her… you know… he didn't even want to think anymore) mouth. "I-I mean, dad… 'm fine…" He muttered. "Just… er… had a nightmare!"
"Is that so?" He looked relieved. "You almost woke up your brothers!"
"Ye…. Sorry.."
Mr. Boss blinked. Something was wrong with her. She apologized, yet she hated her brothers…? Must have been some nightmare.
"Fan-"
"Can I jus' finish waking up first?" Patton muttered, pinching himself on the arm. It wasn't working. Why wasn't he seriously waking up? There was no way he was permanently stuck as Fanny.
…on second thought, don't answer that.
"Well," Mr. Boss, said. "All right. I blame that stupid Kids next door, my daughter shouldn't have to deal with them-"
He shut her door behind him. Patton let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.
Rachel had told him that Fanny's father was a villain, more notably, Mr. Boss. It was so weird to see him, and not have him attack. To see him concerned.
Patton glanced at Fanny's arm. He pinched it again. No dice.
He wasn't about to get changed. He looked around the room. It was just now that he noticed all the rainbow monkeys. He snorted. He never pegged Fanny for the rainbow monkeys type. Under further examination of his shirt and pants, he noticed that these two held the rainbow monkey design.
He folded his hands over his stomach as he noticed the disarray of the rainbow monkeys. To try and distract himself, he sat down and started to alphabetize them, using the names that were labeled on their tags.
For some reason, alphabetizing things calmed Patton down. In the artic base, everything in his office was like that. For about ten minutes, he was occupied.
Then he stood, and searched her room for something tog et him to moonbase, like a jet pack. Under her bed, he saw what he was looking for. Her jet pack was green, which he could tolerate. At least this wasn't pink, like the rest of her room.
Patton opened the window. She was on the second floor. He adjusted her backpack and pulled the string, releasing the wings. He jumped out of the window and flew towards the nearest Kids next door docking base.
Fanny found herself in a similar situation.
She wasn't saying anything. Her eyes were opened wide, and her mouth was agape. Her attention was fixated on her reflection in the mirror.
She was tanner than she was used to being. Her hair was suddenly ink black, and thinner than she remembered.
She was bundled up in a thick blanket, but underneath, she wore a white tee shirt and green army pants.
Saying she wasn't herself today was an understatement.
She was Numbuh 60.
Patton Drilovsky.
The very bane of her existence!
She scowled. "What the- Oh my code module-!"
Even her voice sounded like his! Oh jeez. "I need an explanation and I need it NOW." she barked at the mirror. She frowned.
"Plainly, I'm still asleep." She said. "There's no way I'm a stupid, cruddy boy. Especially Numbuh 60. No way in the universe!"
She turned sharply. She wasn't used to her newfound body weight- Patton was heavier than she was- and so it took her a bit more effort than she initially put forth.
She scoffed.
"Stupid muscles."
She examined the room. It was plain. There was a box of fake army-men in the corner. There was also a book shelf. The titles were all in alphabetical order. She looked out the window. A cold, harsh wind blew by. It made her shiver.
If she was Patton, she must be in the Drilovsky household. She needed to figure out how to get to moonbase.
If she was Patton, than Patton might be her, as sickening as that though wa-
…
If he was her, like she figured, he would have woken up in her room. Her room which was filled with rainbow monkeys. Which was a secret!
Fanny rushed out the door and down the hall, still sporting the blanket. In what she assumed was the kitchen, she saw a tall woman, with short, ink black hair and skin tan like Pattons, and a young girl happily munching away at cereal. The woman noticed Fanny in Patton's body.
"Patton!" She said, "come sit down! Cold this morning?"
"Uh-" Fanny muttered, looking for a Patton-esque response. "actually, I… uh… have plans. I have plans to be stupid today, so I ne-"
"Brother!" The little girl hopped down and ran to Fanny, hugging her legs. Fanny blinked down at the girl. She didn't know Patton had a sister, but then again, she didn't know that he lived in a cold climate either.
Since the little girl was not a stupid boy, Fanny's face- which was, to anyone else, Patton's face- broke into a smile. Fanny patted her head, before she removed the girls hands from around Patton's legs.
"I've got somewhere to go…. Mom… so, er, bye."
Fanny took off her blanket and grabbed a green jacket on the coat rack by the door. She zipped it up and grabbed the backpack that she recognized as Patton's, leaving the house.
"How unlike him." Patton's mother said. "He doesn't usually leave anything on the floor." She picked up the blanket. Patton's sister shrugged.
At the moon base, Patton who currently looked like Numbuh 86 was receiving some scared looks. It was giving him such a headache that he barked "What are ye looking at?" at them. He knew that seeing their head of decommissioning in rainbow monkey pajamas was shocking, but there was a time to get over it. After all, they all had their own jobs to be doing.
He noticed a couple of new operatives doing nothing. He recognized them because they had just graduated from his training facility.
"Ye' two!" He barked, folding his arms over his chest. The two young operatives glanced up.
"It's Numbuh 86!"
"Head of decommissioning?"
"Yeah!"
"Don't ye have a job to do?" Patton asked. "Ye shouldn't be trading cards! The kids next door is serious business. Ye just graduated, aye? Now go an' get an assignment!"
"She sounds like Numbuh 60. He always gave me a headac-"
"GET TA WORK!" He snapped.
"S-S-sir yes sir!" The two kids bounced off. Patton shook his head. Nothing irked him more than people who didn't do their jobs.
He noticed Numbuh 362, taking notes as someone reported into her. He noticed that the reporter was Numbuh 10, who he'd always found attractive.
He went to run his fingers through his hair like he usually did when he saw a girl. But then he noticed that he was Fanny. Even if he did get himself to look attractive, it would be futile.
He strode towards Numbuh 362. Maybe she could tell him where Fanny was…. If she was here… she'd probably be him, wouldn't she?
"Sir!" he called. Rachel turned, and gasped.
"Numbuh 86? Why are you here in paj-"
"Can I talk to ye?" Patton asked. "It's really important."
"All right." Rachel gave him a smile. Patton inwardly grinned. Sometimes he forgot just how pretty the supreme commander was. Rachel wrapped things up with Numbuh 10, and lead Patton to her office.
She closed the door.
"So, what is it, Fanny?" She asked. Patton let out a sigh.
"Well, it involves Numbuh 8- I mean, Numbuh 60." He started. "Ye see-"
"Patton?" She said. Patton nodded. "This morning, I woke up an-"
Suddenly, the was banging on the door. He soon recognized his own voice filtering in. "Supreme commander! Open this door, please! I understand if you're busy, but this is important-"
Rachel glanced at Patton. "Is it all right if he comes in, Fanny?"
The noises outside stopped. "Numbuh 86 is there?" Patton heard his own voice ask.
"Yes… she's right here. So can I?"
"Yeah, ye can." Patton said. Rachel let the other Patton- Fanny- inside.
Immediately, Fanny paled.
"T-t-th- R-Rainbow…"
Patton blinked. "Yeah. Rainbow monkeys. Ye got a problem with it?"
"You cruddy boy, I'm going to kill you! Why'd you come dressed like that?"
Paton folded his arms across his chest confidently. "It was either come in this, or get changed."
Fanny started to blush. "Y-Yo-"
"Hold on." Rachel said. "What are you two doing? You're acting like you… switched places, or something."
They exchanged glances.
"Actually, Sir…" Patton, still residing in Fanny's body, spoke up. "That's what happened. I woke up and I was this." He gestured to Fanny's body. "And right over there, tha's my body. I don't know how it happened, but it did."
Fanny nodded. "I don't want to be a stupid boy anymore! I also don't want him parading around in my pajamas!"
"Parading around? In case ye haven't noticed, you're in my pajamas too. Despite the jacket, I can tell tha's exactly what I put on last night."
"W-well these aren't rainbow monkey pajamas! These aren't scarring! These are sort of cool, and y-"
"Thank ye." Patton said. Fanny caught herself, and glared, blush rising to Patton's cheeks. Patton was beginning to think that she'd ruin his reputation without rainbow monkeys just fine.
"Stupid boy, shut up! Anyway, how can we fix this?"
"Honestly…." Rachel shook her head, laughing. "You guys still flirt even without being in the ri-"
"We aren't flirting!" Both of them snapped, as they stood from their chairs and slammed their hands on Rachel's desk. They exchanged glances. Rachel laughed harder.
"Well, there's only one thing we can do now. We need to figure out what happened, and why. This might be some sort of attack. Or, it could be a mistake from an operative. Did you eat anything funny?"
Patton and Fanny both shook their heads.
"Nothing tasted odd? Or any drinks?"
"No' really." Patton said, moving some of the wild red hair out of his face. He'd never combed it, for he was in a rush, so it was quite messy.
"Well… that means that it probably wasn't from food. Did any of your houses have any odd visitors?"
"M'dad came home last night, but he left at 11." Patton said. "And I was still me then. So…"
"And P-… I mean… Fanny?"
Fanny brushed off the jacket that she was wearing. "No one entered my house." She said. "My dad wouldn't try anything on me. And my dumb, stupid brothers are too stupid to think or anything like this."
"Hm… I'll run it by the 2x4 experts. Maybe they can reverse it… until then, you two need to act as if this never happened, lest your reputations be ruined.
Fanny glanced at the pajamas Patton was in, while sullenly thinking, what reputation?
"So… pretend to be each other." She said. "Walk a mile in each others shoes. Maybe you'll learn to get along."
Patton and Fanny exchanged glances. "Like I'd learn to get along with a stupid boy. All I need to do is act stupid, anyway."
"And all I need to do is act angry."
"STUPID BOY-"
Rachel sighed. They'd never learn to get along.
TBC.