A/N: This popped in my head when I was listening to 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri today and I just had to write it.
It's a bit darker then the other stuff I have written but I am fairly happy with it. Hope you like it.
"I love you." The brunette whispered in between kisses.
"Love you too." The blond answered in return.
"Don't ever leave me." The actor begged pulling away from the kiss.
"I won't. I promise." With that the blond pulled the smaller boy back into the kiss.
And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
"Julian, please. Just listen to me. I am sorry." The tall blond yelled through the closed door.
"No, you don't get to waltz back into my life after two years and expect me to jump back into this."
"I've come all this way to talk to you. To apologize. Please listen to me. I am sorry. I love you."
The actor was close to tears but it hurt too much. He loved him. He needed him like air to breath.
Slowly he opened the door to let the other one in. Deep inside he knew that he'd regret his decision soon enough. But he loved him too much to care right now.
He let himself be pulled into strong arms and enjoyed the familiar feeling of his lips. Maybe this time this would work out.
I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
He had let him back into his life only to be disappointed and left broken again. Julian lay on his bathroom floor. Too tired from throwing up and crying to get up. He had made the same mistake again. Believed that he could love him.
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
The moment he saw the familiar blond head in the crowd he bailed. He couldn't deal with this again. It had been almost three years since the other man left him. Broken. Alone.
"Mr. Larson, there is someone asking for you. It seems urgent."
His manager had somehow found him. Shit. Now he had to go out there again.
"I'll be out in a minute." He straightened his shirt and his tie. Put on his trademark smile to hide the hurt and sadness in his eyes and walked out of the room and right into him.
"Jules." That was all it took for him to make Julian see how much he missed him, how much he still loved him.
The blond looked at him and reached for his hand. "I missed you. I'll never run again."
The brunette was helpless. He had never been strong enough to resist him. Within seconds he had been pulled against the taller man and into a passionate kiss.
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
He was gone. Again. Julian was alone in his apartment. Lying on the floor. Too tired to move. Waiting for it to be over. He couldn't go on like this. He was too weak to never let the blond back into his life, too weak to deny him anything, too weak to care anymore. He wanted everything to end. He couldn't go through this again.
Slowly his white bathroom tiles turned red and he couldn't move anymore. He felt his eyes close on their own accord. He lost the feeling in his legs, then his arms. The only thing he felt was the cold claiming him. Somewhere a letter turned red, lying too close to his body where the warm liquid continued dripping from two identical cuts.
With his last breath he said the all too familiar name. The name that hurt too much. Hurt too much to go on.
'Logan'