"You've reached Captain Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl. I'm probably too drunk and can't remember who you are, but there's always a chance. If this happens to be Barbossa who is in fact not the Captain of the Black Pearl and his dreadful crew, then consider yourself threatened. Leave a nice message at the sound of the word unstable, including all the pertinent details...and I'll have to make a decision, won't I? Oh yes, one more thing: Yo-ho."