JUSTIN POV

Dear Brian,

I'm writing this to you, even though I know I will never send it. It's been two months since I left for New York and I hate it. I hate everything about it. I can't draw, paint or anything. I can't eat, sleep. I'm dysfunctional. I can barely hold this pen; my hand has become so bad. This isn't my dream, it never was. My dream is to be with you. We talk every night and I know you are proud of me, but the truth is all I want to do is come home to you. I don't want you to be disappointed in me though, that's why I stay here. I Hate it. I'm sick. I know I am, but I don't care. I'm thinking maybe if I can just be good enough here you'll let me come home and then we can be together and I can be happy again. I wish we had gotten married. That sounds selfish, but then... nevermind. It's dumb, I just…. I feel like if I don't do this then I will have failed you and you won't love me anymore, because I'm not as good as you thought I was. I'm so tired I think….

That's how the letter ended. A few hours later Justin's roommate came home and screamed. Justin was unconscious on the floor, bleeding from the nose, and he wasn't breathing. She called 911 and gave him mouth to mouth. When the EMT got there she did the first thing she thought of and got in the ambulance, grabbing the note Justin had been writing, and called the number Justin gave her for emergencies and handed it to the Ambulance worker.

Brian POV

Brian had been sitting at his desk staring at a picture of Justin, feeling nostalgic. He wanted Justin home, but didn't want to ruin Justin's dream. His phone rang and a number he didn't recognize popped up on the display.

"Kinney."

"Hi, um Brian. This is Allie um Justin's roommate. HE… I came home and he was passed out not breathing and I'm on the way to the hospital and they need his allergies and he gave me your number so if you could just talk to the EMT thanks." Brian felt his heart clench. Justin was on his way to a hospital. What had happened? "Hello, I need a list of Mr. Taylor's allergies." Came a gruff male voice over the line. Brian listed them automatically.

"Will he be okay?" he asked hopefully. There was a sigh.

"Honestly sir, I'm not sure. I've never seen someone this bad. There is hope though." Then the phone disconnected. Brian put his phone down slowly, letting this news sink in. Justin was dying. Justin could die and Brian wasn't there. Tears slipped down his face but he wiped them away. He picked up his phone and pressed speed dial 4.

"Cynthia, book me on the next flight to New York. Actually screw it. Get the Jet ready. Now. I want to leave 15 minutes ago. I know I said it was a present for Justin, but he's in the hospital and I need to get there now. Thank you. Okay 15 minutes yup." Brian said and hung up. He got out of his chair and pulled out a leather bag. He grabbed the necessities, his pillow, Justin's favorite movie, and his softest t-shirt that he knew Justin loved to wear when he wasn't feeling good. He floored it all the way to the airport and sprinted onto the plane, saying nothing as they took off. He let out a breath of air as they flew. There was no way to speed this part up and Brian wasn't helping by freaking out. What had happened? Justin's roommate had said that she had come home and he wasn't breathing, which means that he passed out. Which means that this wasn't a beating, it was a legitimate health issue. "Please sunshine, hold on. For me." He whispered to no one. He closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep for the remainder of the flight.

When they landed Brian jolted awake with a curse. They taxied quickly and Brian was into the taxi that Cynthia (God bless that woman) had thought to call ahead for. Within 25 minutes he was at the hospital, running through the hallways. He stopped at the nurses' station. "Hi, I'm here to see Justin Taylor."

"Name?" the nurse said looking up. Then she smiled. "I'm going to go with Brian." Brian nodded fervently. "He asked for you earlier. Room 314." She said with a smile. Brian smiled sadly at her and hurried to the room. Justin had been well enough to ask for him. That had to mean something. When he entered the room there was a blonde girl sitting in the chair next to Justin's sleeping form. He cleared his throat and she looked up.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "You must be Brian! I'm Allie Justin's roommate. You got here really fast." She said sticking her hand out. Brian took it and instead of shaking it, brought it up to his lips and kissed it. She blushed deeply and giggled. "I see how he fell for you. You're quite the charmer aren't you?" she said with a smile. "They haven't been in to tell me what's going on. But I'm sure they'll be here soon. He woke up earlier and asked for you. I told him I thought you were on your way. I'm going to go home now if you're going to stay with him."

"Yeah, thank you. You probably saved his life." Brian whispered. She smiled and then pulled a note out of her pocket.

"You should probably read this. It's what he was doing before he passed out. It's addressed to you." She said and with a quick kiss to his cheek she was gone. Brian sat in the chair she had been in and gazed at Justin. His eyes were bruised and sunken in. He looked thinner than Brian ever remembered seeing him. His skin was paler than usual and he looked weak. What had been going on? Brian leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"Oh sunshine what happened to you?" he asked softly. He opened the letter and began reading, his heart dropping after every sentence. Justin didn't want to be in New York. Brian had pushed him there and now look at the results, Justin was in the hospital again. This had to stop. After this, Justin was coming home with Brian and they were going to live in Britin and they would get married and live happily fucking ever after and they would both get their dreams and Justin wouldn't be sick anymore. Brian smiled to himself. "Why didn't you ever tell me sunshine? I wanted you home. I'm already so fucking proud of you. You had nothing to prove to me. I love you; nothing's going to change us." He whispered and he took Justin's hand and held it in his. After what could have been hours of minutes the doctor walked in.

"Mr. Taylor was in critical condition when he arrived here. He was dying of starvation and exhaustion. He needs to be looked after, but there is nothing more that we can do for him here. When he wakes up we will have a talk about a nutritional plan and if there is any need for sleeping medication. But other than that, he will be fine eventually. He is very lucky. I see a lot of people in better conditions than he was in that didn't make it out alive." The doctor said before walking out. Brian let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Justin was going to be okay. Justin was going to live. He laid his head down on the bed, feeling all of the energy drain out of him. He shut his eyes and slowly fell asleep.

JUSTIN POV

I opened my eyes to the sound of beeping. I looked around and realized I was in a hospital. I started coughing and suddenly a head shot up. I looked over and gasped. "Brian?" I asked softly. He nodded and stood. Then he wrapped his arms tightly around me and hugged me.

"Don't scare me like that sunshine. When you're roommate called i… I thought I wasn't going to be able to get here and if you had died I would have never forgiven myself." Brian whispered into my hair. I smiled softly. He pulled back and sat on the bed facing me. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly, holding up the note I had been writing. I frowned and looked away.

"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me, to think that I wasn't good enough." I whispered. Brian sighed and tugged my chin back over to look at him.

"Justin, I could never be disappointed in you. You are so wonderful and… I love you and nothing is going to change that. Ever." Brian whispered. My heart soared as he said that. I realized how stupid I had been.

"Can I…. Can I come home?" I asked softly. Brian chuckled and nodded.

"You don't really have a choice. I'll drag you kicking and screaming if I have to." He said it jokingly, but I could hear the underlying promise in his voice. He wasn't going home without me. I smiled brightly. He grinned back at me. The doctor came in and started talking about a nutritional plan and asked if I needed sleeping medicine since I wasn't sleeping. I said no and that I would follow the meal plan. He nodded and filled out the discharge papers. 2 hours later I was dressed in brans t-shirt and his pajama pants and walking out of the hospital. Well not really walking Brian was basically holding my up, but I wasn't about to complain. We got in a taxi and went back to my flat.

"Well this is it." I said as we waked in. Brian nodded, looking around. I led him to my room and he chuckled.

"Going somewhere?" he asked, looking around at the boxes. I shrugged. "You never unpacked did you?" he asked coming over to wrap his arms around me. I nodded sheepishly. He sighed. "I really wish this had been different." He whispered. I pulled him to sit on the bed with me.

"It's not your fault. It's mine." I said sternly. He smirked at me.

"At least we can leave earlier than I thought. You're already packed." He whispered, pulling me down to lay with him. His arms wrapped securely around me and I relaxed.

"mmhmm." I mumbled. He kissed my hair and held me tightly. "Brian?" I whispered.

"Yes sunshine."

"Thank you." I whispered. I didn't have to specify, he knew I was thanking him for everything.

"Anything for you sunshine."

FIN