(This storyline has some aspects that are based on personal experience. I hope that you enjoy this story as much as I will be writing it. )
Hospital Visit
Adam POV
I stood in the elevator as it closed the doors to take me to the third floor, and in my hand was the black leather bible that Elena asked me to get for her. If anything she really needed to hear from God during this time that I didn't know how long it would last. Part of me was scared, scared to see the woman whom I cared about so much being in a state where she wasn't herself, and now she wasn't pushing me away. It had been two long weeks since I've seen her, and it was because she refused to see anyone, not even me. Well, I don't think it was her, the voices told her not to see anyone. It was now visiting hours and all I wanted was to see her face, because I loved her. The number three button light turned off as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. I took a left and pushed the green button on the wall to my right that allowed the double doors to the psychiatric ward to unlock. I walked up to the desk and a male mental health tech was there looking at me with intent.
"Hi how are you?" he asked.
"I'm okay," I said.
"Who are you seeing?" he asked.
"Elena Jones," I said.
By then another tech, a woman, had walked by the table and heard what transpired.
"I will get her," she said.
"Thanks," I said. I saw her walk down the hall into a room and tell Elena that she had a visitor. Following her was my beloved, who was dressed in a white hospital gown and blue shorts, her black hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and looking at the floor. When her eyes looked up and saw me there was a grin, but there was also a feeling I sensed, that she really didn't know how to react to me being there. I guess not seeing each other in two months didn't help.
"Hey," I said to her with a smile.
"Hi," she said softly, playing with her ponytail.
"You two can go to our visiting room right over there," the female tech said, pointing to the room a few feet away.
"Of course," Elena said, taking me by the hand to the room where there were chairs and tables so we could sit and talk. When we sat across from each other I reached for a kiss on the lips. There wasn't much time.
"How are you?" I asked.
"I'm okay," Elena said, "They have me on my meds again."
"The ones you stopped taking," I said.
"Yes," she said with slight annoyance, "but stronger."
"What else?" I asked.
"The voices are still there," she said.
"Have you told your doctor?" I asked.
"No," she said.
I then placed the bible on the table and held her hands.
"The voices can't stay, baby," I said, taking one of my hands to touch the side of her face. She leaned against my hand and tears started falling down her cheeks.
"I don't want them in my head anymore," she cried, "I don't want to be on these meds. I don't want to be sick anymore."
I pulled her close to me and hugged her while she broke down in front of me. The female tech who had helped me came and asked if everything was okay, and I told her that things were fine, we were having a heart to heart. Elena mumbled her cries and looked back at me, her reddened brown eyes looking at mine for what seemed like a solution.
"If I could, you know I would take it away," I said, "You just have to be strong and you will beat this."
Elena looked down and over at the bible sitting on the table.
"Thank you for bringing my bible," she said.
I smiled.
"Anything to get you back home," I said.
"Home," she said softly, and began to sing, "When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing…" Her lips cracked a soft smile, which then made me want to smile.
"I've always loved your voice," I said.
"That song always gets to me," she said, "It won't be much longer."
"However long you need," I said, kissing her lips again.
There was a moment of silence.
"I'm sorry for putting you through this," she said, "I should have just accepted this and-"
"No," I said, "This is to make us stronger, and it will."
Elena grinned at me and looked down before looking at some of the other patients who had visitors.
"Making new friends while you're here?" I asked with a smile.
"Maybe one or two," she said, "There is one woman who is really off her rocker. I mentioned it to one of the nurses and she laughed."
"Well," I said with a laugh, "A patient calling another patient crazy…it is kind of funny."
"Oh," she said, realizing the reason and laughed.
"I just want you to get well," I said, "so we can be together again."
"With all I put you through?" she asked.
"Yes," I said, kissing her hands, "I love you, Elena."
She smiled as she looked down, and then she looked back at me with a serious expression on her face.
"There's something I need to tell you," she said.
"What is it?" I asked, "What's wrong?"
"Visiting hour is over," the mental health tech came in the room and said. I looked at the tech and then back at Elena.
"I guess I have to go," I said.
"I really need to tell you this," she said.
As some family members were saying goodbye to their loved ones, the tech came up to us.
"Visiting hour is over," she said.
"Okay," I said, looking at Elena, "I have to go."
"Adam, I-" she started.
"Look, whatever it is, it can wait," I said as I kissed her. I went with the tech to sign out and leave, but not before stopping to sign a couple autographs and take pictures with some fans. I went in the elevator and went down to the first floor, and looking through the glass doors it was raining outside. The rain made me think of Elena. She loved it when it would rain. Our best nights of making love were because of the rain and tonight was going to be the first that we wouldn't be doing so. I ran to my SUV and got in, turned on the ignition and pulled out of the hospital parking lot. As I was headed home, my mind was on Elena and how her relapse was possibly my fault. I was feeling so guilty. She wasn't supposed to get stressed out, but I kept pushing her, then again she was trying to keep it a secret. Part of me was mad that she was hiding it, because I thought that we could share everything and anything. I was ready to take things to the next level. Within a few minutes I made it into the driveway and the rain went from a downpour to a drizzle. I got inside the house and shut the door, and immediately went upstairs to the bedroom and just kneeled at the side of the bed.
"God, I really need to talk to you…"
Elena POV
"You didn't tell him," Dave said, my mouth moving as he said those words.
"I ran out of time," I said.
"You don't have that much time. He needs to know," he said, my mouth moving to every word.
"I know, I know," I said.
I was in the room where the ward had the visitors come and visit their loved ones, holding my bible in my hand when Cynthia, the tech who helped Adam came in the room.
"It's time for meds," Cynthia said.
"Okay, let me put my bible in my room," I said.
"Okay," she said.
I went into Room 370, otherwise known as my room. My bed was the one by the window, and sometimes I could see other psychiatric patients playing basketball outside but tonight it was just the rain. My mouth started to move again.
"I know what you and Adam like to do in the rain," Dave said.
"Whatever," I said, placing the bible by the bedside table. I heard rustling of the bed sheets and turned around to find my roommate Karen fixing up her bed for lights out. I walked out of the room to get in line for to take my meds, and then be watched like a child for thirty minutes. For some reason these people thought I was spitting out my pills, which I wasn't although I had thought about it. I think because I had a coughing spell that came out of nowhere one time after taking my pills, which may have sparked some suspicion. I was in line waiting to come to the door for my dose of Risperdal and Cogentin when Melissa decided to pop up.
"Girl when are you going to tell Adam?" my mouth moved and she asked.
"I'm going to tell him soon shut up!" I said. At that moment one of the techs saw me and started writing notes. Shit, I thought, this is going to go back to my doctor which would then mean a higher dose of drugs. I was so tired of the drugs. Then it was my turn at the door.
"Hi Elena," Jennifer, the nurse in charge of meds, said.
"Hi," I said, "How are you?"
"I'm fine," she said with a smile, getting my medication together.
Ask her about the baby, Dave said (or rather thought). Jennifer was pregnant.
"How far along are you?" I asked.
"Six months," she said happily, "I'm having another girl."
"Aww well congrats!" I said.
"Thank you!" she said, handing me the small cup that had my two pills and a glass of water. I took cup and down went the pills into my mouth, washing it down with the water. I thanked her and told her to have a good night. Cynthia was then nearby and had me sit in a chair by the desk for the usual thirty minutes.
They're having you sit there because they think you are not taking your pills, Dave thought.
"No shit Sherlock," I said.
I sat and watched the other patients get their medications and head to the kitchen where they were having snacks. After the thirty minutes were up, I went into the kitchen and sat by Karen. She was eating a roast beef sandwich, and the sight of it was making me nauseous, yet hungry at the same time.
"I see that your boyfriend made a visit," she said.
"Yeah, we have some work to do," I said.
At that moment Cynthia walked over to us with a bag of Cheetos and apple juice in her hands.
"Here you go Elena," Cynthia said, placing the food on the table.
"Thank you," I said as she smiled and walked away.
"So does he know about what's going on with you?" Karen asked.
"He's aware of the voices in my head," I said.
"That's not what I'm talking about," she said, "The other thing."
I began to rip open the bag of Cheetos as I gave a soft sigh.
"I was going to tell him," I said, "I ran out of time."
"It's not obvious right now, but it's going to be if you keep procrastinating," she said.
"Don't you think I know that?" I asked, "I'm scared about it to be honest."
"Scared about how he'll react?" Karen asked.
"No, just scared that this may continue down the line," I replied, pointing at my temple.
"Oh," she said, "You shouldn't think so negatively about it. You believe that God would protect it, right?"
"Yeah, but I've read that these things are passed down and-," I started.
"Stop," Karen said, "Have faith."
"It's just so hard," I said, wanting to cry again, "I try to live right and then these voices started getting in my head and for what?"
"What is this? This is not the Elena who believed in the power of prayer and that everything happened for a reason," she said, "Your faith in healing and restoration made me believe again. Don't lose that spark, that fire. You're stronger than this."
I wiped my tears and grinned.
"Thanks," I said.
We continued eating our snacks and talked until it was time for lights out. We went to our room and got into our beds, which were uncomfortable at best.
"Good night Elena," Karen said.
"Good night Karen," I said.
Karen turned over and was fast asleep while I stayed awake, looking at the ceiling. I started playing with the cross necklace I was wearing, thinking once more of the purpose that God has of putting me through this, the purpose of having this illness. Was He saving me from a far worse outcome that I wasn't prepared for? These questions were swirling in my head, and then I thought about Adam. It was so good to see him. I really missed him. All he was trying to do is be supportive and love me the way I deserved to be loved, and I was trying to make this, what I had a secret. I listened to the wrong voice…voices. That was my other mistake. I believed Melissa and Dave were my friends, and I was so gullible and believed every word they said, and it led me here. I have to make things right. In the midst of my thoughts, Melissa (aware of every thought) made herself known.
When are you going to tell him about the baby?
I ignored her. I felt a flutter in my stomach and I placed my hand there. I didn't have much time to continue stalling. Adam had to know before I started to show. Suddenly the silence turned into the steady sound of rain, or maybe it was still raining and I had tuned it out to listen to my thoughts. I was really stronger than this. I don't have a reason to keep the voices in my head, they had to go permanently. I started reaching out to the One who I know will save me from this thing. I quietly got out of bed and got on my knees.
"Lord, I come before you with a bowed head and a humble heart…"