I'm sorry.
This is supposed to be a very touching—if redundant—song, and look what I've done to it!
After listening to it for a while, the imagination just kinda took over until the images forming in my mind left me rolling in hysterics. Like I said, consider this a parody of all those Lancitty songfics out there: Lance tries to tell Kitty how much she means to him with yet ANOTHER series of rock puns, and the Brotherhood decide they want to..."help."
You Rock My World
(A Lancitty parody)
The scene opens up to an image of Lance and Kitty at a school dance, swaying softly to the music. It looks an awful lot like that episode Shadowdance except…you know…without all the dino-lizards and destruction. A few other couples can be seen in the background, including Kurt and Amanda, or Jean and Scott, but we don't care about them because this is a LANCITTY fic.
Spotlight on said couple. Kitty has her arms wrapped tightly around her boyfriend's neck as Lance holds her close to them. Seemingly oblivious to the world around them, he looks down at her with a smile and begins to sing.
Lance: My life will never be the same, 'cause girl you came and changed
The way I walk, the way I talk
I can not explain these things I feel for you
But girl, you know it's true
He impulsively spins Kitty in place, earning a faint squeal of delight from her.
Stay with me, Fulfill my dreams
And I'll be all you need
Suddenly, a set of voices ring out from off-screen.
Voices: Feels so right (Girl)
I've searched for the perfect love all my life (all my life)
The couple pause at the sound, darting their heads around in confusion, searching for the source.
Feels like I (Like I)
Have finally found a perfect love this time (And I finally found)
Come on, girl
Pietro, Fred, and Todd suddenly appear behind the couple, entering from the left by disco-dancing their way on-stage in tune to the beat. As the spotlight follows their every move, they continue singing…answering our question about where—or, rather who—those voices were coming from
You rocked my world, you know you did
And everything I own, I give
The rarest love; who'd think I'd find
Someone like you to call mine
Kitty and Lance stare at them, mouths open wide in shock and unsure of how to react.
As they try to make up their minds, the dancing trio switch positions for the chorus repeat and disco-dance back off-stage as they continue singing.
You rocked my world, you know you did
And everything I own, I give
The rarest love; who'd think I'd find
Someone like you to call mine
"Lance, I thought you said they wouldn't follow us around anymore!" Apparently, Kitty is the first to find her vocal chords as she turns questioningly to Lance, only to see the poor boy banging his head up against a nearby wall.
o*0*o
We next see a gorgeous view of Bayville park at nighttime. Our FAVORITE couple are leisurely strolling along hand-in-hand down one of the sidewalks, admiring the cloudless, starry night as well as one another's company. Lance continues singing as they walk.
Lance: In time, I know that love would bring
Such happiness to me
I've tried to keep my sanity
He stops suddenly, turning to face Kitty. The camera swings around so we see a nice, close-up view of them.
I've waited patiently
Girl, you know it seems
My life is so complete
Their hands still clasped, Lance uses his free hand to gently stroke her cheek as she smiles up at him.
A love that's true, because of you
Keep doing what you do
Pietro, Fred, and Todd suddenly poke their heads on-screen from the right, appearing right behind Lance to sing the background.
Brotherhood: Think that I
Finally found the perfect love I've searched for all my life (Searched for all my life)
With a groan of frustration, Lance aimlessly swats at them until they disappear, only to reappear seconds later…this time, behind Kitty.
Think I'd find
Such a perfect love that awesomely so right
Before she can respond, however, they pull back off-screen.
Girl…
The camera pans over to the nearest hill, where a spotlight suddenly shines down on the trio, appearing out of nowhere and defying mostly laws of physics. The three of them are "thrust" dancing to the beat as they sing…in other words, thrusting their pelvises to the right and left in a very suggestive manner.
You rocked my world, you know you did (Come on, come on, come on)
Everything I own, I give (You rock my world)
Come on, girls. Picture it. You know you wanna…
The rarest love, who'd think I'd find (Girl)
Someone like you to call mine
Both Kitty and Lance turn beet-red at the sight, even more so as a few off-screen catcalls can be heard.
Pietro is—of course—by far the sexiest; subtle, yet smooth. Todd is a little more animated in his actions, overdoing it just slightly. Fred, however, looks more like he's rocking back and forth on his heels as he pumps his arms.
You rocked my world, you know you did
And everything I own, I give
The rarest love; who'd think I'd find
Someone like you to call mine…
Now, we know the chorus repeats about twice more…but that would just be overkill, wouldn't it? So, let's not and say we did…
o*0*o
The scene changes once more. We're still at the park, only now it's daytime and the two lovebirds are leisurely relaxing on a grassy knoll, under the shade of a large oak tree and away from the crowds of people. A large blanket had been spread out, and a once-full picnic basket is now obviously empty. Kitty sits up straight as Lance rests his head in her lap, allowing her to play with a few tuffs of his hair. He smiles up at her—for once—as he continues singing.
Lance: And girl, I know that this is love
I felt; the magic's all in the air
Lance moves to sit up so he can look her straight in the eye.
And girl, I'll never get enough
That's why I always have to have you here
He leans in to kiss her…when those damn voices return. The two of them desperately search around for them, simultaneously looking up into the branches of the tree.
Three guesses who they see, and the first two don't count.
Brotherhood: You rocked my world, you know you did
Sure enough…Pietro, Fred, and Todd are each seated on a separate branch…along with Wanda, who had decided to join them. The four Brotherhood members all stare down at the couple as they sing.
Everything I own, I give
Lance's eyes go wide in surprise when he sees Wanda up there along with the other three psychopaths.
The rarest love; who'd think I'd find
Someone like you to call mine
"Et tu, Wanda?" He groans.
She shrugs. "Hey, I was bored."
You rocked my world, you know you did
Everything I own, I give
The rarest love; who'd think I'd find
Someone like you to call mine
As the musical interlude takes over, any last traces of Lance's patience vanishes. He stands up, fists clenched, ands gives Kitty enough time to get out of the way before he stomps his foot, sending a tremor through the ground that knocks the four of them out of the tree.
Meanwhile, the music (AND singing voices) continue on…revealing the fact that they were actually pulling a Milli Vanilli all along and merely lip-synching
Background: You rock my world (You rocked my world, you know you did)
The three boys clumsily fall to the ground in a giant heap, while Wanda uses her powers to gracefully float down to a standing position.
The way you talk to me
"Thanks a lot, sis." Pietro groans from his spot on the ground. Seconds later, he sees a pair of feet walk right up to him…sight traveling up to meet with a VERY angry Lance. Of course, he does the first thing that comes to mind.
Screams like a girl.
The way you're loving me
The way you give it to me (You rocked my world, you know you did)
"That's…something you don't see every day." Kitty commends as she stares, blinking in confusion, as Lance chases the three boys all around the park. Wanda walks up to him and sighs.
"Not unless you live with them."
As the music and screen both fade out, the sound of screaming echoes in the darkness.
Then, just for the sheer pointlessness, an Oompa-Loompa hops out on stage holding a big sign that says "THE END!"
…thank god.