AN: While spellchecking this I realized that I can't spell for shit. Anyway, how do I ship Homestuck. I ship everybody x everybody, that's how. Um, obviously I haven't written anything in a while, and this won't be a oneshot, yay. But school starts in like a day, and the next chapter will be the same as this except a different version. I guess. Anyway, it's short and stupid and there's cutting/blood and swearing, just the way I like it. Don't tell me the whole cutting thing is overrated because I already know that. I just can't write anything else and writing this made me happy. Also, how do I write x's with Sollux? Wah. Also-also, I dunno how old they're supposed to be. Just make something up. Okay, this AN is getting lengthy, so I'll end it here.
"Hey, Sollux."
"What do you want?"
"Wow, okay. S'nice to see you too. Anyway, I was wondering if you, uh... dammit, wanted to... watch a movie. Or something. I don't care." A blush crept onto the troll's face.
"Oh, wow KK, I'd love to, but I'm jutht tho buthy." Turning back to his computer, he might have rolled his eyes, if they worked like that. Did they? Who the hell knows.
"Dammit, fuckhead, you never do anything with me!"
"Oh, what, ith little ol' Thollux your only friend?" He scowled.
"Friend? Last time I checked, you were my boyfriend, Thollux," he spat, mocking the other troll's lisp. Since their arrival on Earth, they had abandoned most Alternian words, settling for simple English.
Stupid.
Sollux didn't reply, but his fingers stopped moving around his keyboard.
"Well?" Karkat demanded, but the other troll remained unresponsive. "Gog, Sollux, I'm starting to think you don't even care! It's like you don't really even have flushed feelings for me, but you're so fucking afraid of being alone that you'll stay with me anyway! For you, it's like being my matesprit is a Gog-damn chore. And I guess you're not fucking doing your chores very well, because you won't even talk to me!" Angry red tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke - er, shouted.
"Are you even listening to me?" he yelled, and the tears spilled out of his eyes.
They sat in silence, mostly - with the occasional sniffle from Karkat.
"God, Vantath, thtop crying and try to speak like you're not from a different galakthy." He didn't even turn around.
Karkat threw his arms up in frustration and stormed out of his - their bedroom.
He stomped down the hall and into what the humans called the bathroom. He slammed the door shut so forcefully that the whole neighborhood could tell he was throwing a hissyfit.
He propped his elbows up on the counter and held his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. Was love really supposed to be this hard?
Love? Damn. How many times had he told Sollux he loved him? It didn't matter. He would never say it back. Stupid human emotions.
Sure, they acted like a couple around their friends, but it didn't change anything. At home they were practically strangers. Strangers who, at night, crawled into the same bed and occasionally listened to the other cry in their sleep.
Karkat looked into the mirror, at his tear-stained face. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. You never do anything right. Your own boyfriend doesn't like you. You'd probably be better off dead."
He tugged up the sleeves of his Cancer shirt, revealing exactly five months and two days of self-abuse. The scars gleamed white against his gray skin. Some more recent cuts were in the process of healing. Oh well.
Of course Sollux never asked about the scars. He didn't care. Never did. Thinking of this, Karkat yanked the top drawer under the sink open, and rummaged around until he found the pill bottle. Of course, there were no pills. It was empty except for two razor blades. The kind you get when you spend twenty minutes sobbing and prying open a shaving razor with a pair of scissors.
He struggled for a second with the cap - fucking child proof, fucking clicks - before he emptied the contents onto the counter.
You'd be better off dead.
He picked up the newer of the two, held it in his right hand. He bent his left hand back and stared at his stupid goddamn cuts. He picked out a spot near the crook of his elbow and added another rung to his ladder of scars.
"Fuck," he hissed quietly. Wouldn't want to disturb Sollux, since he's so damn busy.
Angry red blood seeped out of the wound, and Karkat's angry red tears fell, too, into the basin of the sink. He wanted to punch a hole in the goddamn wall, because he was so angryangryangry.
The doorknob turned and Karkat sobbed while his stupid boyfriend took in the stupid scene and blinked his stupid dichromatic eyes. Stupidstupidstupid.
Sollux swallowed before saying, "Clean up thith fucking methh, KK." Then he spun and walked away, rubbing at his stupid eyes under his stupid glasses.
The razor blade flew out of Karkat's hand, chipping the paint on the wall then clattered to the floor.