Title: Mistletoe
Series: Doctor Who,Torchwood, Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Ficverse: A Touch of Smith and Jones
Warning: Implied MPreg and a later part of a larger series of stories I'm nowhere near finished with yet.
Disclaimer: The Doctor, Jack and the TARDIS are the property of the BBC. S.H.I.E.L.D. is the property of Marvel Publishing and MVL LLC. No profit is being made from this fic. The kids are the product of my own warped imagination.
Jack grabbed the sprig of mistletoe attached to the entranceway between the kitchen and living room and ignored his son Jamie's knowing snicker as he pocketed the offending plant. Jack glared at his son, then strode across the living room, then back to the kitchen, then back across the living room again.
He was surprised he hadn't worn a groove into the floorboards yet.
Jack could hear Jamie's twin sister, Estelle, moving around upstairs as he spotted another sprig of mistletoe stuck on the opposite side of the light fixture in the hallway; the tape that was holding it had come undone and the mistletoe was now hanging down and visible. Jack immediately changed course to snatch that one too, mentally cursing the Doctor for telling their daughter that it was a rule that adults had to kiss whenever they found themselves under the mistletoe. It had been amusing the previous year when she had booby trapped the whole house just so she could laugh at her dads whenever they found themselves under a sprig (and Jack had to admit— the sprig he and Ianto had found under his desk had been a stroke of genius on her part).
However, this year, it was anything but.
A light knock caused Jack to spin on his heels and march over to the front door, tossing the sprigs into the trash as he passed the bin. There was a shout from upstairs as he grabbed the doorknob, and he had a pretty good idea what was said when he heard Jamie shout back, "Too late, dad's got it," as he threw open the door and got his first look at Estelle's date.
Jack knew Ianto had already met the kid and had probably done a complete background check before giving his okay to the date, but Jack wanted to form his own opinions about the kid before letting Estelle out of the house.
The kid wasn't off to a great start. He was staring stupidly at Jack, frozen in place with one hand raised for a second knock. Glancing past the kid, Jack quickly checked out the car now sitting in the driveway. A sensible, nondescript but reliable machine that made Jack add a grudging plus sign to the checklist running through his head.
There were already several minus signs on that checklist for asking his daughter out on a date.
"Hi, I'm Thomas," the kid said as he dropped his hand and held it out. There was a slight pause as Jack crossed his arms across his chest and stared. "Uh," Thomas said carefully as he dropped the hand. "You must be Estelle's other dad."
Okay, minus sign for stating the obvious.
"Yes, and from this point on, you will refer to me as Captain."
"Uh, yes sir."
Hmm, plus sign for the quick response.
There was a series of thumping sounds across the living room ceiling, and then muffled cursing joined the thumps as they started moving towards the stairs.
Realizing he was about to run out of time, Jack leaned sideways and grabbed a clipboard with a few sheets of paper on it along with a pen off the side table, and shoved the lot at Thomas.
"Need you to fill this out," Jack said, just as Estelle thundered down the stairs.
"Dad!" she yelled as Thomas looked down at the form on the clipboard.
Jack put on his best innocent look (which he knew wouldn't fool his daughter for a minute) and said calmly, "Yes?"
Estelle snatched the clipboard out of Thomas's hand. "He is not filling out an application to date me!"
"Oh, yes he is!" Jack said.
"No he's not!"
"Yes he is!"
"Uh, I don't mind," Thomas said.
Oh, big plus there.
"Ignore him, he's insane," Estelle said to Thomas as she glared at Jack.
"Most dads are," Thomas said.
Minus!
"And you know that how?" Jack snapped. "What, you've already dated other girls?"
"No, that's not what I meant!" the kid answered quickly, frantically waving his hands in front of his face. "I got an older sister! And my dad's a cop— he always makes sure he's wearing his gun when he meets her dates at the door."
Well, dad with gun. That would be a plus. It'd make the kid think twice before doing anything stupid.
Jack heard the hum of the TARDIS materializing as Estelle muttered under her breath, "I'm surprised you didn't try that, dad."
"The thought had crossed my mind," he muttered back.
Estelle gave him a look as she grabbed her cell off the side table and slipped past Jack. She then grabbed her date and dragged him off the porch as she shouted over her shoulder, "Bye! And no search parties before 11 please!"
"Hey, if you're not back by 10, I'm calling S.H.I.E.L.D., and then I'm calling his dad!" Jack reluctantly added another plus sign on the checklist as Thomas held the passenger side door open for Estelle.
"S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Jack heard Thomas ask Estelle as she dropped onto the seat.
Estelle rolled her eyes and gave her father a dirty look. "My dad know the head of S.H.I.E.L.D. ," she admitted reluctantly.
Thomas started at her. "Your dad knows Nick Fury?"
"Yes," Estelle hissed through clenched teeth and Jack couldn't help but add a sympathy check mark when Thomas managed not to pass out at that revelation.
Thomas shut the door and too a deep breath, then walked around the car. He was about to open the driver's side door, when the Doctor walked around the corner of the garage.
"Ah!" he exclaimed, walking quickly over to the startled kid. Estelle banged the back of her head against her seat as she rolled her eyes some more, then glared at her other father as he said brightly, "You must be Thomas! Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too, uh…"
"Oh, sorry!" The Doctor caught Thomas's hand and shook it vigorously. "I'm Estelle's dad. You can call me the Doctor."
Thomas stared. "Estelle's dad?"
The Doctor grinned. "Yep!" he said happily, and then leaned over to look at Estelle in the car. "He seems nice— I like him."
"I'm so glad," Estelle said sarcastically.
"Well, you two have a fun night!" He slapped Thomas lightly on the shoulder, then spun around and walked up the sidewalk to join Jack on the porch.
Thomas blinked at the two of them, looking confused and more than a little shell shocked, before slowly getting into the car. He glance at Estelle.
"You have three dads?" Jack saw him ask Estelle.
"Long story," she responded with a let's get the hell out of here look thrown in for good measure. Thomas nodded in agreement, then started the car and carefully pulled out into the street. Jack and the Doctor watched as the car move slowly out of sight.
"So," the Doctor said. "Plus or minus?"
Jack cocked his head, listening for a moment. "Plus." He looked at the Doctor and shrugged. "The fact he didn't burn rubber once he was around the corner definitely tips the balance in his favor."
The Doctor chuckled. "Yeah, I'd say he passed the test."
"Well, the first one at least."
Shaking his head, the Doctor gave Jack an amused look, then suddenly glanced up and smiled. Following his gaze, Jack found a sprig of mistletoe hanging right above his head.
Jack frowned and reached up to yank it down— the last thing he needed was Estelle taking advantage of that when Thomas brought her home— but was stopped by a hand on his wrist.
"Bad luck if you pull it down now," the Doctor said, taking a step closer to Jack.
Jack smiled. "Oh? Why is that?"
"You know the rules; we have to kiss before you can take it down. Otherwise, it's liable to pop back up there as soon as we turn our backs." The Doctor's eyes glittered mischievously as he leaned close to Jack and whispered, "Tricky things, mistletoe."
"Yeah, they're sneaky little bastards," Jack answered before giving in to the urge to kiss the Time Lord.
The Doctor reached up and wrapped a hand around the back of Jack's neck. As Jack started to pull him closer Jamie suddenly said, "Don't make me go looking for the rest of them."
Breaking the kiss, the Doctor looked at their son and wagged a finger at him. "That's no way to speak to your elders, young man," he said with a grin.
Jamie grinned back and did an excellent imitation of his sister's eye roll as he continued on into the kitchen.
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Were you that impertinent when you were a child, Jack?"
Jack chuckled and rested his forehead against the Doctor's. "I don't remember. Probably. And hey, you were the one who thought having kids was a good idea."
He got a scandalous look. "I don't remember you arguing much with me about it back then."
"Of course not," Jack answered. "It meant I got to have sex with you. Like I was going to say no to that."
"It was an alien device that got you pregnant, Jack."
"True, but the deal was that we had sex first, and I figured once I got you used to the idea..."
A grin flashed across the Doctor's face. "You're incorrigible," he said.
"You knew that going in."
"Yep." He moved out of Jack's embrace and stepped into the house. "And yes, now that I'm used to the idea, care to join me upstairs?" he asked.
"In a minute." The Doctor nodded and headed up the stairs.
Jack glanced up at the mistletoe hanging over him. He stared at it, then stuck his hands in his pocket. He decided he would just leave it there for now.
Heading into the house, Jack wondered how well Thomas was going to handle his next encounter with Captain Jack Harkness— especially if the kid tried to kiss Estelle under that mistletoe.
Jack smiled. It was fun being a dad sometimes.