Yo. This is my first Spideypool fic and Wade's a little OOC but frankly my dear I don't give a damn. Don't hate.

Peter loses everything and gets very sick; luckily Wade Wilson is there for the rescue! Eventual smut, slash, offensive language and blood in later chapters.

Disclaimer: sadly, I do not own these characters.

Enjoy!

I crawled out of bed, still in my costume. Guess I didn't change before passing out last night. Not that in matters, anyway. My suit has been beyond dirty for quite a while, considering I can't afford to go to the laundromat anymore. I sighed. Another worthless day of filth and despair. This is why Harry and MJ left me, cause of all this filth that surrounds me. Harry even offered to have me live with him, but... I couldn't do that for the same reason I can't live on welfare or with my dads. After losing my job and all my money MJ finally showed me her dark side. The filthy, golddigging skank took all the money I had left and ran off with Harry, if only for his money. They don't even talk to me anymore. I dropped out of college, I didn't have any time for it. My life now consisted of a filthy apartment, living off of cheap hotdogs from the venders of NYC, and being Spider-Man. I've been slipping on the last one too.

I looked at the clock. It was 2 pm already, and I actually went to bed around 11 last night. For some reason I was still tired as all hell. I looked out the "window" which was really just a big hole in the wall. It was raining again. I jumped out and flung a web at a nearby building and-

I ran out of webs. I fell the the hard ground below. Onto a white car, actually. It's alarm went off and I ran before the owner came. I felt really dizzy... Nauseous, almost. As for why I couldn't swing webs I had no idea. I didn't dwell on it much, compared to all that's happened it didn't seem like that much of a big deal. I heard police sirens coming, and I knew Jameson had declared me a menace to society and I was a wanted man, so I darted down an empty alleyway. I was really exhausted, and freezing. So I curled up into a ball against a building. I closed my eyes for a moment...

And forgot to open them again.

-Wade-

[white box-deeper, responsible voice]

{yellow box-high pitch, random voice}

I was sitting on the ledge of a building eating a BEAUTIFUL chimichanga when I saw the Itsy-bitsy spider crawl out a whole and swing a web towards my face. However, it stopped short and he fell to the ground, landing on a white minivan. I laughed histarically as he made an attempt at running that was more stumbling in a zig zag. "Oh, little bug..." He trudged down a dark alley as a police car raced past. I kissed my chimichanga "We'll meet again someday, my love." I threw it behind me and dropped to the ground. Of course I didn't feel anything cause of my awesome healing factor! I'm so awesome.

{What? We're giving up our precious Mexican heaven for the webhead?}

[He's obviously not well, idiot, and we have to make sure he's okay]

I frowned, "not to mention he gives my heart dem thumps."

{that was true poetry, man! I'm getting all teary-eyed...}

I tried to ignore the voices for a moment and followed Spidey into the alleyway. He had curled himself in a ball beside a building and fallen asleep. {aaaaww Spidey's taking a nap!} [he's unconscious] I sighed and shook him a little bit. He didn't react at all. I felt his forehead, it was burning hot. "Yikes, you're sicker than yellow box. {hey!} better get you to a proper bed." I picked him up and teleported home. I put him down on my bed and stripped him out of his wet uniform before throwing some blankets on him. {well, that's taken care of, let's go get tacos!} [we're not getting tacos, this man obviously needs help!] "oh, we're getting tacos, just after I take care of Spidey." I smiled, humoring the voices in my head and probably looking a bit crazy. {yay, tacos!}