Author's Note: The amazing stacy-ampora-strider-ampora gave me permission to write a fic of the equally amazing Learning and Sburbing, so I'm going to take advantage of that opportunity. Keep in mind that this is not canon to LaS, just my interpretation of the characters.
My name is Laura. My last name is Forgotten, but I try not to bring that up. Just doesn't seem very punk rock, you know? Because that's what I'm all about, punk rock. Man, I'm so punk rock I fight the man by working at a library. Now that's how you really do anarchy, by fucking them up from the inside.
At least, that's how it was. I have a suspicion that's not how it's going to be anymore. 'Cause I just stumbled through this portal and now I'm in god knows where. When it showed up in the storeroom, I thought about telling the boss. But then I realized, punk rock isn't about telling the boss. Even if it's about a possible gate leading down to the bowels of hell. Instead I just had some fucked up dream about a desert planet and then woke up here.
Speaking of which, here is okay. There's plants and shit, which is a definite improvement from that last place. Then I notice Stacia here, which is how I know how I'm still dreaming. Girl disappeared a week or two ago. No way in hell she'd be in wherever the hell we are now.
Anyway first thing she does is run up to me. "Laura!" she screamed. "How is this happening? How are you here? I thought the Earth blew up!" She paused to catch her breath. "How are you even here?!" she repeated.
"Whoa, chill out." At this rate she was about to have a heart attack. Even if she was just a dream Stacia, it's not cool to just go around killing your friends. I could tell she was about to burst from the pent up questions, so I asked her to give me a tour of wherever the fuck we were. She practically squealed with delight. I'm telling you, something is wrong with that girl.
We walked around a bit until we arrived at a class. "This is Mr. Hussies room." she told me. "I'm not really sure what he teaches. I've only been in his class once, and he just wrote a bunch of numbers on the board and then said class was over because Vriska wanted to go. I think he's fucking her"
"Man, what the fuck is up with this school? And isn't that illegal? Or do they have different rules here on this shitty alien planet?"
"Well, no, it's different, because the trolls have quadrants."
"What the hell are quadrants?" I got the feeling that I had just barely seen the tip of the colossal iceberg of horseshit this highschool had to offer.
"Well, there are four quadrants, so they have four loves, and they're all different, and each one is with a different person, and-"
"Yeah, nevermind. I'm feeling a bit too punk rock for the E.T. sex talk right now." We turned a corner and almost bumped into some old guy.
"Oh I see that the new student I heard about is finally here." He stared at me with this weird look in his eyes. "Except this one is a bit… mature for the highschool." He kept staring and licked his lips a little.
"Hey Stacia." I whispered under my breath.
"What?"
"Let's blow this joint." She looked at me in confusion. I gestured with my hand, which I had positioned behind my back. I started counting down with my fingers: five, four, three, two, one. On zero I lifted up my shirt, flashed my tits, and pushed him over. I didn't get to see any more his reaction though, as I was busy running like hell down the hallway. I looked over my shoulder to see what Stacia was doing. The idiot was just standing there, alternating between looking at the old guy and me, a shocked expression plastered upon her face.
"Hey, what the fuck are you doing? You want to be stuck back here when he finally manages to stand up again?" That managed to shake her out of her revelry, and she started running after me. After a few minutes, a few random turns, and a couple instances of almost knocking people over, I found myself in an outdoorsy type area. There was a bench nearby, so I sat down to catch my breath, still making sure I'd be able to get up in a pinch if I needed to.
It was then that I heard a voice coming from a nearby pond that I'd failed to notice. One of those gray aliens was right there in the middle of the water. Her horns kind of curved out, and she had these weird fins things coming out of her face where her ears should be. They were pretty punk rock, so I gave a mental nod of approval. "W)(o are you, and w)(y are you so out of breat)(?"