Disclaimer: I own absolutely no part of BattlestarGalactica.
In the Dark
This is how it always was in his dreams. He would be flying, searching for something, the vast darkness all around him interrupted only with faint stars. And then she would be there, flying with him, in the only place they could ever truly be together. She would always look over at him and smile as they flew their Vipers side by side, like nothing in the worlds was wrong, like she hadn't been blown into pieces in front of him over a month ago. They just flew. And he didn't question it.
When Lee awoke, he never remembered the words spoken between them, just that they had spoken, and he remembered her laugh and bright eyes full of warmth and something he had never quite seen in them before. If he had to guess, he'd call it peace or happiness, but Kara had never been either of those things in life. Sure she grinned a lot, but she never actually seemed happy through those bared teeth. And chaos might as well have been her middle name -- even sleep never brought her peace, her mind was surely still plotting something devious behind closed eyes.
If only Lee's dreams ended there. Kara would come back to him and they would just fly, fly like only they flew. But sometimes they would be soaring and her Viper would explode all over again, or her bird would fall through space into the darkness below him, where he couldn't follow no matter how hard he tried. Those nights he woke screaming or panting hard, sweat covering him from head to toe. Alcohol helped. The more he drank the less he remembered. He discovered that if he got drunk enough he couldn't remember anything he had dreamed or lived, or, really, anything at all. He frankly preferred liquid oblivion to watching her die again and again.
The trial came at just the right time and offered him a temporary distraction. He welcomed the chance to fill his mind with someone else's problems for the day, and most nights he was so exhausted that he didn't need the alcohol to chase his dreams away. His respite didn't last long. His trust issues with his father and Dee's abrupt absence disrupted his exhaustion just enough. His dreams came back stronger than ever, and no trial or glass of ambrosia could take her out of his mind.
How could everything be so different in the dark? Lee thought he could kid himself or pour himself into defending Baltar enough during the day to forget. But he knew that was impossible; she was always there, and every night he met Kara in the black and they flew until he opened his eyes.
Now, seeing her beside him, smiling from her Viper and laughing at his confusion, he knows he has been here before, but not quite like this.
"It's going to be okay," she says, and he believes it. Everything will be okay. In his chest, in his stomach, in whatever is inside him, he can feel relief and lightness and joy and truth. This is different. The feeling of a clock running out of time is not there. The pressing on his chest and the clenching in his stomach are gone. This feels right, real.
"I've been to Earth. I know where it is, and I'm going to take us there." Earth can wait, Lee thinks. Or they could go right now, together. It's doesn't really matter. This could all be in his head, another dream, but Lee doesn't care. It's Kara, and they are flying and he feels warm and whole and alive for the first time since he saw her ship explode and somehow managed not to follow her into the flames. None of that makes any difference now. It's Kara beside him, and Lee just wants to fly with her until he opens his eyes.
End.