Hello again... It's been a few weeks, huh? What can I say - this one has been a struggle, but I got there in the end.
So, this is it. Last time, I left you all with a bit of a cliffhanger. And I'm not gonna lie, we're going to re-wind slightly, because this is entirely from Lex's point of view. I always want to challenge myself and this was a challenge and a half! I have read countless articles about the entire labour process, real-life labour stories and I really hope that I have done this justice. Of course, there will be some slight artistic license coming into play (hey, it's fiction after all!) but I have tried my best to convey what Lex goes through in this, despite never actually going through it myself (although I am now thoroughly petrified should this ever happen to me...!)
WARNING: Language. And loads of tension (is Roman gonna make it? Dun dun dun!)
DISCLAIMER: I own nada apart from my lovely OCs
Enjoy x
I shift on the couch, frowning as I try to tug the cushion from underneath my back. I grumble under my breath as I anchor my arms behind me and slowly start to raise myself up until I'm teetering on the edge of the couch.
"Y'know how I said it would be really good if you could wait until your Daddy gets home?" I mumble at my bump. "Well, I think you took me way too seriously, Pumpkin."
With the cushion finally free, I plump it up and place it carefully behind me again. I ease myself back down with a grimace, one hand on my bump as I try and fail to comfortable again.
"Way too seriously," I repeat as I rub my palm across my swollen belly. "Yup, you sleep now, but I take it that at 2am, you'll be up throwing another party in there, huh?"
I rock my head back and stare up at the ceiling, my eyes fluttering closed for a second as I try and will myself to sleep, even for five minutes. But the throbbing pain in my lower back continues and I'm soon shifting again, groaning in discomfort and frustration.
One week late.
One hellish week late.
When my due date rolled around and there was no signs of Pumpkin making an appearance, I was relieved. Despite how uncomfortable I was, I knew I could get through another two days and then Roman would be home and the timing would be perfect. But he came and went without even a whisper of a contraction. Disappointment didn't even begin to cover it and as Roman kissed me goodbye, making promises that he'd be back for the birth and not to worry, I could feel my frustration rise. I was angry that he was still making promises that were impossible to keep, pissed off that our baby had decided to hold out for longer than necessary, but above all, I was annoyed at myself for ever thinking that we would get our picture perfect end to our pregnancy.
I can feel the same frustration start to build inside me again as I fidget on the couch, still unable to get comfortable. I can't actually remember what comfortable feels like. I've forgotten what it's like to roll over with ease and grace, rather than grunt and groan and feel absolutely exhausted afterwards, only to then realise that I've left my book or my phone on the other side of the bed and have to start the process all over again. A month ago, I would have laughed at the notion that I would ever hate being pregnant. Now I'm embarrassed at my naivety.
Guilt pricks at my conscience and I feel sickened by my own negativity. I should feel grateful, blessed even, that I'm so close to finally having my baby in my arms. This discomfort is nothing compared to the anguish Roman and I went through last year when we tried and failed so many times to make this happen. I desperately try and recall the joy we both felt when I told him I was pregnant, the tears, the smiles, the kisses. I claw at the memories, willing them to wrap around my mind and make me forget everything I'm feeling right now.
It works, for a minute at least. And then the dull ache in my lower back starts to throb again and I'm pushed right back to the here and now, still pregnant and still torn between wanting this to be over and wanting to wait until Roman is by my side. In the last few weeks, I've memorised every inch of his schedule, the timings, the places, and most importantly, the distance it would take for him to get home. He's been up and down the country for the past few weeks and every time he's returned, I've been relieved to have him pull me into his arms and tell me how much he's missed both me and Pumpkin.
As much as he is unable to keep his promise to be here for the birth, he's followed through on his other promise. The promise he made to me on honeymoon, when I confessed my fears that a pregnant me would be less attractive to him. Since day one of this pregnancy he's been determined to prove me wrong. If anything, our bond, our love has become stronger than ever over the last nine months. The way he holds me, kisses me, caresses me, it hasn't changed despite my belly forever getting in the way. Every night he's been with me, he's made a point of kissing both me and Pumpkin goodnight, his fingers trailing over the stretch marks that slowly started to adorn my abdomen, his mouth always following his fingers, whilst my own tangled in his hair as he whispered how beautiful I had become. At first, I rolled my eyes, but he never let me get away with it, his mouth fiery has he kissed me, making me wish that I had enough energy and mobility to let him fuck me. But it was enough to show me that he still craved me, that he still wanted me, that I still turned him on, no matter how swollen and puffy every part of my body had become.
I wish he was with me now, splayed out on the couch next to me, one hand on my bump, his fingers intertwining with mine, my head resting on his shoulder. It's all that his last few days off have consisted of and I couldn't have asked for anything more. He's doted on me hand and foot for the last few months and I know that I need to repay him for everything he's done for me. But every time I open my mouth to say that, he cuts me off with a smile and a kiss to my forehead.
"You've carried Pumpkin, baby girl. You don't owe me anything."
During our time together, there have been many occasions where I've wondered about how lucky I am to have Roman in my life. Over the last nine months, I've contemplated this every day. His devotion to me, to our unborn baby, to us has never faltered. I love watching his face change when I show him videos of Pumpkin moving around my belly, unconditional love and adoration filling his eyes and I can't wait for the moment that I see him hold our baby for the first time – the thought of seeing that same expression on his face as he looks down at our baby in his arms is overwhelming and I can feel my bottom lip start to wobble, my eyes stinging. Ever since we found out what we were having, the image in my mind started to come clearer and clearer. Roman and his baby–
The front door slams shut and I snap out of my reverie, shaking my head with a smile as I hear Siobhan's voice.
"Lex?"
"In here," I call out and she appears in the doorway a few seconds later.
"How you feeling?" she asks, dumping her purse on the floor and flopping onto the couch next to me.
"Aside from feeling like a whale?" I turn my head to face her. "My back is killing me."
She grimaces sympathetically. "I can draw you a bath if you want?"
I shake my head. "Later maybe. It'll help me relax before I go to bed."
"Sure," she nods. "You get any sleep this afternoon?"
"What do you think?" I chuckle wryly and she laughs softly.
"Okay, stupid question." She pauses. "You do realise that Pumpkin has officially now inherited your stubbornness?"
"Thanks," I grumble. "Although I'm starting to think Pumpkin's just like Roman, never in a hurry for anything."
Siobhan giggles. "I think you can count on him to be in a hurry when the time comes."
"After the constant promises, he'd better be in a damn hurry."
"He'll make it," she comforts, her hand reaching out to pat mine.
I nod, but it does little to sate my fears.
"And anyway," Siobhan continues. "I'll be there with you."
"Not helping, Shiv." I glance up at her and grin at her frown. "I'm joking! I... I don't actually know what I would do if you weren't here."
"You'd be stranded on the couch for one thing," she grins, standing and reaching out to me. "C'mon. I picked up some stuff from the store. Spicy food is really your only option now."
"I don't think I can stomach another curry," I whine as I take her hand and start to push myself off the couch with her help.
"Yeah, well Ro ain't here to fuck this baby out of you, so it's the next best thing." She pulls me upright, letting go of my hand and heading towards the kitchen.
I start to follow, my pace slow. The ache in my back is throbbing again and I have to pause at the door, breathing deeply as the pain increases for a few seconds before subsiding.
"Lex? You okay?" I look up to see Siobhan studying me curiously from the kitchen.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just the back pain. It's nothing."
"Looked more than just back pain." She comes towards me, her hand slipping into mine as she gently eases me away from the door and towards the kitchen. "Are you sure it wasn't a contraction?"
I shake my head. "I've just been sitting down for too long. Once I move around I'll be fine."
She raises an eyebrow suspiciously, but doesn't say anything more. She lets go of my hand as we enter the kitchen, turning away to switch on the radio before she starts to unpack groceries. I ease myself between one of the stools and the kitchen island, wincing as the throbbing starts up again. Siobhan's voice fills the air as she updates me on the latest developments of her new project. I try my best to listen, to focus, but I'm struggling to concentrate on anything other than the pain in my lower back. I shift on the edge of the stool, grasping the edge of the counter as I slowly twist, desperately trying to release the tension or whatever it is that's causing my discomfort.
Slowly, the pain subsides and I exhale slowly, moving back into my previous position just as Siobhan turns back to face me.
"So what you do think?" she asks me.
I stare back at her blankly.
"About my idea..." she prompts.
"I..."
Her eyes narrow. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine," I insist.
She glances up at the clock on the wall. It's almost seven. "Right, here's the plan. You're going to go and soak in a hot bath whilst I cook dinner."
"Shiv, I'm–"
"Fine. I know." She pauses. "But you don't look fine. You look really fucking uncomfortable."
"No shit," I look pointedly down at my belly.
She rounds the kitchen island and holds out her hand. "C'mon. I'll help you."
I let her guide me up the stairs and into the bedroom. She disappears into the bathroom for a second, reappearing with my bathrobe. The bathroom door closes behind her as she leaves me to strip and I wonder, just as I do with Roman, how lucky I am to have her in my life. There aren't many people who would spend almost a month away from their significant other just to look after their heavily pregnant friend.
Roman and I had talked for a while about how we'd handle the final weeks of pregnancy. At first I was adamant that I could go it alone, but as the weeks wore on I started to realise the benefits of having someone with me. I didn't want to be in hospital alone giving birth, which was a viable option depending on when Pumpkin decided to make an appearance. My Mom was my first choice in companion for these final weeks, but it was impossible to make it work around her job – there was no guarantee that we'd be bang on time and she may have had to leave before labour had even begun.
Roman's Mom was another option, but despite how much I treasure her as a mother-in-law, I aired my concerns that perhaps seeing me in the midst of labour might not be a great in-law experience. My incredibly paranoid, over-exaggerated nightmare scenario was met by much amusement from Roman, but he eventually concluded that maybe it wasn't the best option.
Enter Siobhan. We'd been mulling over the idea for a while when I decided to broach the subject with her. It was full of caution, full of maybes, perhaps and ifs. I didn't want her to feel pressured into agreeing to something that could test our friendship to the max. I didn't want her to feel obliged to do it just because we'd asked and were running out of options. But she cut through all our hesitancy an instant:
As long as you don't want me down the business end, I'm there.
She listened intently to all the advice that the doctors had passed onto us, devotedly read the pregnancy book I sent her by way of giving her a last chance to back out if she wanted and moved in with us three weeks ago. Our spare room was instantly turned into a temporary office-cum-bedroom, even though I was more than happy for her to make use of the living room or even our own office as her own. She's worked solidly every day, but still found time to check on me every so often if I was downstairs, or sending me a quick text if I was out running errands. But every evening, she's made a point of switching everything off, much like she does with Seth she told me, making sure I ate, relaxed and that we mainly, had a catch up. Catch ups that were once held over several cocktails are now held over cups of tea whilst curled up on the couch downstairs.
There's a soft knock on the door just as I'm tugging my hair up into a messy bun, the bathrobe already secured around my body.
"It's ready," Siobhan says, her voice muffled slightly by the door.
I make my way over, opening the door and breathing in the scent of lavender.
"Thank you," I murmur as she turns off the faucet.
"Just shout if you need anything," she pats my arm softly as she passes.
I've never been a huge fans of baths. Roman loves them, his reasons blatantly obvious as he always takes it as an opportunity to touch every inch of me under the pretense of helping me wash. But given the choice, I'm a shower girl all the way. That said, Roman quite likes a shower with me too. I chuckle to myself as I recall the countless encounters we've had in the large glass shower unit behind me as I carefully lower myself into the tub. But more recently, a bath gives me the opportunity to fully relax, to take the weight off my feet, to feel a fraction lighter in the water than on solid ground. And the lavender seemingly does wonders for both my muscles and my mind.
My head rolls back against the lip of the bath, my eyes slowly closing as I listen to the muffled sounds of Siobhan moving around the kitchen beneath me. The only thing that's missing is Roman. Whilst there isn't usually space for the two of us in the bath at the moment – mainly because I want all the space I can get – he's taken to sitting on the side of the bath instead, both of us relishing in a moment between the two of us before Pumpkin arrives. The conversation usually drifts over a variety of topics, from work, Pumpkin, us in general, our plans for the house, our plans for the holidays, vacations we'd like to take. Anything and everything has been covered in these gentle, casual conversations. I wish he was here. I wish he was taking in these last few days before parenthood truly begins.
And most importantly, as the throbbing starts up once again, I wish he was here to soothe the pain, to rub my back, to hold my hand, to kiss me softly and reassure that everything will be okay. My eyes flick open and I stare down at my bump as I feel Pumpkin shift inside me. My hand automatically rises, cascading water over my swollen belly as I feel another wriggle. I can feel a lump in my throat as I imagine, not for the first time, my baby being placed in my arms, nuzzling against my bare skin, all tiny and new and so very innocent. In my fantasies, Roman is clear in that picture too, his face pressed against mine for a brief second before his gaze drops down and he strokes a finger across our baby's cheek and I watch in complete fascination as he lowers his head and gently kisses its forehead. That's the picture that I want, that I cling to, that quite possibly won't be a reality until much later down the road. Every time I let my mind drift, it's with a sickening thud that I come back to reality and remember that it's a fantasy that may not come true.
I make a mental note to call him or at least text him when I get out of the bath. I might just catch him before the show starts and even if the call is barely a minute long, at least I'll hear his voice say. my name, ask about Pumpkin and tell me that he loves me. He called me late last night as they headed away from the arena. I was dozing in bed, sleep unable to take full hold on my mind thanks to my back pain, when my phone buzzed and I saw his name flash up on screen.
"Hey," I murmur.
"Baby girl," he breathes quietly. In the background I can hear low murmurs and the occasional laugh from the others on the bus.
"Where are you?"
"Heading to back to the hotel. You in bed?"
"Yeah," I yawn and stretch as much as I can. "But I can't sleep."
"Pumpkin?"
"At first. And then my back started to hurt."
He sighs softly. "Few more days, Lex. I'll be home in a few days."
I smile up at the ceiling. "Can't wait. Shiv's back massages are nothing compared to yours."
He chuckles. "Ah, I see. Is this how this works now, huh?"
"That's how this has always worked?" I grin.
"Hang on a sec," he murmurs and then my phone trills softly. Pulling it back from my ear, I see my own face on the screen for FaceTime. I click accept and my heart pounds as my face is replaced by Roman's. His headphones are slung around his neck, a beanie pulled down over his head. He looks exhausted but his eyes still sparkle as he stares at the screen, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Hey."
"Hey yourself." I shift against the pillows, trying to make myself more comfortable but also slightly more presentable, completely aware of his current setting and how I look with puffy, sleepless eyes and the tatty shirt I'm currently wearing, the collar of which is low and sagging and threatening to expose my sore and swollen breasts with one wrong move.
"You look beautiful," he tells me and I pull a face in response.
"I look nothing of the sort."
"Ain't true, baby girl," his voice is low, his head rocking to one side as his eyes scan the screen. "You're always beautiful."
"Tell me that when I'm screaming blue murder and cussing you out for knocking me up in the midst of labour, then I'll believe you." But my voice is light, a smile tugging at my own lips as he chuckles.
"I will, I will." There's a pause. "Show me Pumpkin?"
I push the covers down my body and pull the hem of my shirt up to just under my breasts. Raising my phone up, I angle it so that he can see my exposed belly. I rub my palm across it, trying to encourage a little movement from Pumpkin, but there's nothing. My fingers brush across the dark line that runs from my navel down south, before changing track and gliding over the stretch marks that cover the side and swell of my bump.
"Least someone's sleeping," Roman comments with a smile as I lower the phone back down so only my face is in view.
"I wouldn't count on that continuing once Pumpkin arrives."
"So I've been told." He stifles a yawn, one large hand coming up to scrape over his face, his wedding ring flashing at me in the process. "I miss you both."
"We miss you."
"I'll be home soon. I promise."
"I know."
I cup my hands in the water and bring them up to my face. I drag my fingers over my cheeks slowly, feeling the water run down my face and over my chin and neck. My eyes sting slightly as I remember him telling me he loved us and to sleep tight. After we hung up and I still couldn't sleep, I scrolled through endless photos of the two of us. A shot of the two of us early on in our relationship, kindly snapped by Seth or Dean in a bar, Roman's hand inches away from my ass as I giggled into his neck. A photo of us at Wrestlemania, his hair slick with sweat, his face flushed, mine giddy and grinning. The picture we sent our friends and family after he proposed, my hand shielding our faces as we kissed, the ring glinting in the light. Casual snaps of us just hanging out at home, with friends, with family, at shows, in hotel rooms before going out, in bars with drinks in hand. In every single one, we're touching in one way or another. Roman's arm is around my shoulder or waist, his hand on mine, cupping my cheek, my lower back, my ass, on my leg, my knee. And I'm forever leaning against him, touching him back, staring up at him whilst he stares into the lens or vice versa. Or sometimes, neither of us are looking anywhere than at each other. It floors me when I think about how far we've come, from a casual encounter in a bar, that ended in what could have easily been just a one-night stand, to moving states, living together, getting married and getting pregnant.
I shift in the bath, gripping onto the sides as I pull myself slowly upright. I roll my neck as I feel the air chill my skin. The water is cool too and I start to pull my feet underneath me so I can get out. It's slow work and mid-way through, the pain in my back starts up again. I bend forward over the edge of the bath, desperately trying to breathe steadily. But it feels different this time, more intense, more obvious than before. I try to focus on the chequered mat on the floor, on the edge of my bath robe that's draped over the sink, anything but what's happening to my body.
Slowly but surely, the pain ebbs away. I keep staring at the floor, trying to gather my thoughts as I realise what's just happened.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
Roman isn't here.
My voice sticks in the back of my throat as I open my mouth to yell for Siobhan.
So I grit my teeth instead and brace myself against the bath, working my way onto my knees and then one foot and then the other. My arms are shaking, no, my entire body is trembling when I finally stand and take a nerve-wracking step over the side of the bath. I tug at my robe, slipping it around me as I stare at myself in the mirror.
Deal with it.
No.
Yes.
I try to remember where my phone is and a sick feeling washes over me as I realise it's downstairs on the couch. I want to call Roman, I want to hear his voice, I want him to tell me I'll be okay.
I take a step towards the door and then freeze. Something warm trickles down my thigh, slow and steady.
Fuck.
Siobhan is singing quietly in the kitchen as I enter. She glances over her shoulder.
"Hey, you should've yelled. I could've helped you."
"It's okay." My voice feels distant. "I was okay."
She turns back to the stove. "Dinner's almost ready. You hungry?"
"Sure."
I watch as she flicks the switch on the rice-maker and starts to dig out plates and silverware. I glance down and try to remember when I got dressed; my robe has been replaced by sweatpants and one of Ro's old workout shirts. I finger the collar, bringing it to my nose and I want to cry. Despite its large size, it still feels slightly snug around my bump and I watch as my hands come to rest on either side as I feel it tightening, the sensation more recognisable now.
"Lex?"
I look up to see Siobhan staring at me, her hands frozen in mid-air, clutching two glasses.
"My... My water broke."
We stare at each other, my words hanging in the air.
And then Siobhan jolts. "Shit."
I'm motionless, watching as she switches off the stove, moving pots and pans to cool before reaching for her phone.
"Lex, listen to me. What time did it happen?"
"Just now." I don't recognise my voice and it takes all my strength not to look around for who's talking.
"Like right now?" Siobhan stares down at the floor which is dry and I want to laugh.
"No," I correct her. "Upstairs, in the bathroom."
"Okay, okay," she nods. "What about contractions?"
"I don't know."
"You had one right now though, right?"
"I guess."
"Lex, c'mon..." I can hear the bite in her voice, but all I can do is just stare dumbly back at her. She sighs and when she speaks again, she's pulled back the edge, her tone soft and calm. "It's okay."
I scrunch up my face as I try to think about what happened in the bath. "It... It was my back. It hurt again, but the throb... It was more intense, like it was gripping me."
"How long?" She's tapping at her phone.
"I dunno. Thirty seconds, maybe longer?"
"Okay... And now?"
I stare down at my bump. "Tight. Around here," I gesture. "Around thirty seconds again."
She's dialling, reaching out to me, stroking my arm.
"Hello? Can I speak to Doctor Ash please? It's Siobhan, I'm Alexia Reigns' birthing partner."
There's a brief pause.
"Hi... Yes, Lex's waters have broken... About ten minutes ago?" She looks at me, eyebrows raised and I nod and shrug. "I... I don't know. Maybe I should pass you over..."
She hands the phone over to me and I raise it automatically to my ear.
"Alexia? It's Doctor Ash. Siobhan says your waters have broken. Can you tell me what happened?"
I retrace my steps from barely fifteen minutes ago. I can hear her occasional murmur of 'okay' and 'right' as I tell her what happened.
"Alexia, you need to listen to me now. You need to keep a note of your contractions, just like we talked about. Just keep breathing through them, lean against something if you need to, a chair, the wall, whatever feels most natural."
"Yes."
"Okay, can you pass me back to Siobhan please?"
I hand the phone back but I'm only half listening to the conversation.
"Now? Okay... Yes, everything is ready to go... No, he's not... Okay, I'll tell him when I speak to him. He's next on my list." She catches my eye and mouthes something at me that I don't catch. "Thank you. Yes, we'll see you there."
She hangs up and takes a shaky breath. "Lex? We gotta go to the hospital okay? They need to check how far along you are."
"Ro–"
"I'm going to call him now, okay?" I watch as she dials, the ring tone a soft murmur. And then I can hear his voice, but it's not his voice. It's calm, collected: his voicemail. "Shit, Roman, why aren't you picking up your damn phone? Look, Lex is in labour. Call me. Oh and get your ass back here. Now."
"Why isn't he picking up?" I ask her, as if she'll know the answer.
"I don't know." She scowls at the phone and then looks up at me, quickly replacing her furrowed brow with a smile. "I'll keep trying. And I'll ring Seth too, maybe he's with him."
"Okay."
I watch as she thumbs her phone and then puts it on loud speaker. The dial tone is jarring, echoing around the kitchen. But there's no answer.
"For fuck's sake," she mutters, before shutting it off. "Okay, we should go." She pauses and glances back at the kitchen side. "Let me... Ah, shit, shit, shit."
"I can wait," I say quietly and she chuckles.
"I'll sort it later. C'mon, we need to go."
She takes my hand, squeezing it reassuringly as she leads me to the door. I stand there, helpless as she gives my hospital bag a final check.
"Where's your phone?" she asks me, before moving away into the lounge before I can answer. "Do you need a bottle of water?" She calls out.
But I can feel the tightening again, my hand reaching out to press against the wall as I try to breathe through it, just like Doctor Ash told me, just how all the books and classes I've read and been to suggest.
"Lex?" Siobhan's hand is on my back, rubbing slow, soothing circles. "How long?"
"I..."
"It's okay," she hands me my phone and I see that it's already on the stopwatch app. "Hit start and then lap them."
The phone is heavy in my hand, but I grip it tightly as Siobhan finds me a pair of shoes and bends down to help me put them on. And then she's guiding me out of the house, round to the car in the driveway. She helps me with my seatbelt, my hand still gripping the phone as I stare solidly ahead as she slams the car door shut.
As we pull away from the house, she's already hitting re-dial on her phone.
"This is Roman–"
"Fuck!"
Dial tone again.
"This is Seth–"
She pauses at the end of the road, her attention turning back to her phone for a second.
"Shiv, what's up?" Becca's voice fills the car.
"Could you do me a favour and send me Dean's number please?"
"Dean's? Why?" There's a brief pause and then: "Oh... Oh, shit."
"Yeah," Siobhan casts me a sideways look. "We're on our way to the hospital."
"Lex?" Becca addresses me and I turn my head to look at the phone. "You'll be fine, Roman'll get there. Just make sure you and the baby are okay."
"Yeah." My gaze drifts back to the road and I watch as we take the exit for the hospital.
Siobhan and Becca's voices fade into the background as I stare out of the window and watch the streets wind past us in a blur. I catch sight of myself in the wing mirror and I'm puzzled by my own reflection. I look pale, puffy and scared. And then my face turns into a grimace and I hiss, my hands sliding over my bump, soothing it, willing the pain to subside.
"Becca, I need to go... Lex, breathe, c'mon." A hand reaches out to tug mine away from my belly. "Hold onto me, squeeze my hand..."
As the pain subsides and I watch my finger tap the lap button on the stopwatch, something else washes over me.
"Roman," I gasp. It's like everything is back in full colour, the weight of bump, my baby bearing down inside me, the discomfort in my back, the aftershocks of the contraction, the sound of my breathing, hard and fast as Siobhan squeezes my hand again and then lets go.
"I'm calling him," I hear her say.
"The show," I tell her, my eyes flicking to the time on the dashboard. "It's started. He won't have his phone..."
We listen to the dial tone once again before it clicks onto voicemail.
I can feel the tears pricking at my eyes as I reach out and stab at Siobhan's phone again, hitting re-dial over and over again until she pushes my hand away.
"Let's try Dean."
She taps at the phone and then it rings.
"This is Dean–"
"For fuck's..."
I grab her phone and dial Roman's number again. It continues to ring until his voicemail picks up, but I know that I won't be able to keep my cool if I leave a message. I fling the phone into my lap after several attempts, my hands shaking as Siobhan takes a left into the hospital drop-off area.
Her hand brushes over mine and then up my arm where she rubs at my shoulder. "Let's get you checked in. I'll park the car and come find you and I promise, I will keep calling all three of them until someone picks up."
She doesn't let go of me as we enter the hospital, her hand on mine as we're guided over to the elevator and head upstairs to the maternity ward. And when she finally leaves me with a nurse, she has to peel my fingers from hers as I tell her over and over again to keep calling.
"I will. I promise."
"What do you mean, I'm only three centimetres?" I stare incredulously at Doctor Ash, who gives me a small smile.
"It's a slow process, Alexia. Your contractions are still quite far apart so I'm afraid you've still got a fair distance to go." She makes a note on my chart before hanging it back up next to the bed. "Keep drinking fluids, make sure you go to the bathroom every hour and most of all, just be patient. You can keep moving around if you feel like it, but take it easy, okay?"
I nod sullenly before I flop my head back on the pillows and stare up at the ceiling.
"I'll check on you in an hour or so, okay?" She pats my hand gently and then exits the room, holding the door open for Siobhan, whose hands are full with a cup of coffee in one and a water in the other.
"What's the update?" she asks, taking a seat beside me.
"Three centimetres," I scowl.
"Good."
"Good?"
"You wanted Roman here, remember?"
"Is he picking up his phone yet?"
She shakes her head, sipping on her coffee. "The show's almost over though."
"Right." I pluck impatiently at my nightshirt. "Any luck with Seth or Dean?"
"Nope. Although I'm going to throttle Seth the next time I see him," Siobhan winks, finally drawing out a small smile from me. "I told him to make sure Roman left his phone with someone, anyone."
"He did," I say quietly. "All the other nights, he'd text me and say he was giving his phone to Dean or Seth or whoever."
"And tonight?"
I shrug. "I guess... I guess he figured that nothing happened all the other nights, so why would it happen today?"
But Siobhan shakes her head. "He wouldn't think like that and you know it. He probably just forgot. He got caught up with management or a meet and greet and it was all a rush. You and I have been backstage enough to know that things like this can happen."
"I know. I just..." I rock my head to the side. "I just can't help but think that if he had picked up when you first rung him, he could be at the airport already."
"He's got plenty of time, Lex." She leans down and draws out her iPad from her bag. "And so have we. I downloaded some stuff for us to watch. I figured we'd probably have quite a lot of time to kill."
"Thank you."
She shrugs. "Least I could do."
"You've done way too much already," I tell her. "Seriously, Shiv. I... I don't know what I would have done earlier if you hadn't been there."
"You would have called Doctor Ash and got yourself to the hospital. I just happened to be there to make the call for you and to drive."
"You haven't seen Seth in almost two weeks."
She pauses and looks up at me. "He understands."
"I know, but still–"
Siobhan shakes her head. "It's okay. You're my best friend, Lex. You know that I would do anything for you."
"But this–"
"This," she tells me firmly. "This is what friends do for each other. And anyway," she gives me a wry smile. "You can owe me."
I chuckle and settle back against the pillow as she props up the iPad on the tray next to the bed. She flicks through the library to find the boxset we started watching earlier in the week and presses play.
"You and Seth talked about having kids?" I ask her as the opening credits start up.
"Maybe. One day."
"I didn't think it was something you wanted."
I watch out of the corner of my eye as she chews her lip, a soft smile tugging at her mouth. "It wasn't."
"But..."
She reaches out and hits pause just as the opening scene begins. "Maybe I changed my mind."
I grin. "And a certain two-toned mister has something to do with that?"
Siobhan blushes, hesitantly meeting my eye. "Perhaps."
My eyes automatically flick to her hand, knowing full well that there's nothing on any of her fingers but I can't help but check again with the way this conversation is going.
"Lex," she tuts. "There's nothing to show. We just talk about it sometimes. Actually," she pauses. "You and Roman are entirely to blame."
"How do you figure that?"
"The night you told us you were pregnant. Roman may have planted his super Samoan seed in you, but both planted a little seed in Seth's mind about our future."
"I'm pretty sure he felt that way before that night."
"Maybe," she shrugs. "I just... I just didn't think he thought about it at all. Or even wanted to think about it. I mean, we didn't even live together at that point."
I frown. "You spent more time there than you did in your own apartment several states away."
"Exactly what Seth said," she chuckles. "Anyway, it was a bit of a shock to hear him say those kind of things. Like, I knew that it was perfectly fine for him to feel that way if that's what he wanted, but I wasn't sure if I wanted it myself."
"But–"
Siobhan holds up her hand. "Let me finish. So I kinda told him how I wasn't sure if I wanted all that, y'know, marriage, two-point-five kids and a white picket fence. It wasn't a no, it was just a maybe."
"And what did he say?"
She smiles. "He told me that was okay. If I didn't want that, it was fine, but if I changed my mind..."
"And you have?"
Her cheeks redden slightly. "Something... Something happened."
I raise an eyebrow. "Tell me more."
But she shakes her head. "Not here. Maybe once Pumpkin is out of you and we can have a glass of wine. But all that you need to know for now is that I told him yes."
My eyes widen. "Yes? To what?"
"To everything... One day."
"Shiv..."
"Like I said, I blame you and Roman entirely." She leans forward to hit the play button.
"Shiv, that's huge."
She glances back at me. "I guess... But maybe I was being selfish before."
I roll my eyes. "You don't have a selfish bone in your body."
"I think I have a few. But what I meant was that I like just being the two of us, me and Seth. We work well together and I don't want to do anything that's going to mess that up."
"He worships you, Shiv. I don't think there's anything you could do to mess that up.
She blushes, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I know. Sometimes I don't understand why, but recently, I... I guess I would be stupid not to want everything with a guy like Seth."
I reach out and squeeze her hand. "As someone who has watched you both go through some ups and downs over the last few years and still come out the other side, you are definitely made for each other. He needs someone like you in his life and you need him too. We both know what it's like to be with men who work in this crazy ass business and there are times where everything seems impossible and you have to work really hard to sustain what you have together, but it's worth it." My gaze drops to my bump, which is starting to tighten again. "It's totally worth it."
"Is that your mantra for the next few hours?" Siobhan quips with a hiss as I squeeze her hand tightly.
"Fuck," I exhale. "Thanks Pumpkin, go ahead and spoil that real sweet moments between friends."
Siobhan pats my hand as I release my grip. "It was–" she begins just as her phone starts to ring. She tugs it out of her purse and then looks up at me. "It's Roman."
I hold out my hand for the phone and after a moment's hesitation, she passes it over.
"Ro-"
"Lex! Baby girl, are you okay? Where are you? I'm just on my way to the airport, travel have got me a last minute flight, okay? I'm on my way. Fuck, Lex, are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm..." But that's all I can get out before my emotions take over and I'm sobbing, my chest heavy and tight as I fight to hold back the tears that are already streaming down my face.
"Lex? Don't cry, I'm going to make it. I'll be there, I promise. I'm being driven to the airport and my flight is in an hour. It'll be okay, yeah? I'm gonna be there."
I nod, sobs still tearing from me as Siobhan slowly eases the phone away from me.
"Roman? Yes, she's fine. I think it's just..." She glances at me. "She's just a little freaked out. Her water broke an hour ago and I think she was fully prepared for it to all happen quickly, but when we got here, they told her she's only three centimetres... Yes, everything is fine. She's having contractions every fifteen minutes at the moment, so it's slow progress."
There's a brief pause and I can hear Roman's muffled voice on the other end of the phone. I tug at the sleeve of my gown, drying my eyes before reaching back out for the phone. Siobhan eyes me skeptically.
"I'll be okay," I murmur. "I want to speak to him."
"Hang on, she wants to speak to you." She passes me back the phone.
"Lex..." His voice is warm and soothing and exactly what I need to hear.
"Ro..." I swallow hard, fighting back the tears that threaten to rise up again. "I'll try and wait until you're here."
"No, Lex. You gotta do what Doctor Ash tells you. If you have to push, you push, whether I'm there or not."
"I want you here. I want you to be with me."
"I know, baby girl. And I want to to be there too, but if..." I hear him suck in a breath. "If I'm not, you gotta just do what you need to do, okay? You gotta make sure you and Pumpkin are okay, that's all I care about, Lex. That you and our baby are healthy and happy. And I'll be there soon. I love you. I love you and Pumpkin so fucking much, you hear me?"
"We love you too, Ro."
"I know. Look, we're almost at the airport and I gotta run to make it through security. I'll text Siobhan when I'm on the plane and when I land. I'll be there, Lex. You're strong, baby girl. You can do this." I can hear the car door opening and shutting, the click of wheels from his case. "I can't wait to see you. We're gonna meet our–"
"I know." A grin spreads across my face, my heart beating faster. "I can't wait either."
"Maybe you should sit down?" Siobhan's hand brushes over my back as I make my way slowly around the room.
"No," I exhale slowly. "I need to keep moving. It helps."
"Just go slow," she reminds me quietly.
"I know," I hit back through gritted teeth, pausing to lean against the wall as yet another contraction starts to build. My eyes squeeze shut as I ball my hands into fists.
Siobhan's hands press against my lower back, the pressure easing the pain ever so slightly as she works the heels of her hands into the base of my spine. "Better?"
I nod, groaning as the contraction slowly subsides. "What time is it?"
"Just after midnight."
My contractions are slowly closing in on each other, less than ten minutes between them now and each lasting for what feels like an eternity. I gave up with lying on the bed, the pain unbearable as I struggled to get into a position that would enable me to breathe through them. So instead, I'm making slow laps around a room which feels like it's closing in on me, Siobhan shuffling behind me, easing me through each contraction and ignoring all my grumbling and cussing in the process. Doctor Ash checked on me half hour ago, confirming that I was still making slow progress when she announced that I was only six centimetres.
Relief instantly washed over me as I realised there was still time, still a chance that Roman would make it. But it only lasted a few seconds, before another contraction seized me and in the midst of the pain, I wondered how much more I could take of this. It's been four hours and I've barely scratched the surface of labour. The only thing that is keeping me going is the thought of Roman. I can't even begin to imagine the thoughts running through his head right now. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.
I know how his mind works, I know about the ever increasing anxiety that's been coursing through him for the past few months, his fears about becoming a father, a never-ending worry that he won't be able to leave up to the expectations bestowed on him by no-one else but himself. I want to tell him that he'll be fine, that we'll be fine, repeat the words I've told him over and over again in order to ease his concerns. I can picture him on the plane, jaw tight, fingers drumming insistently on the arm rest as he watches the flight tracker on the screen in front of him. I want to reach out and pull his hand into mine, cup his face so his gaze turns to me instead and whisper to him that I'm okay.
I start to edge around the room again, one hand on the wall, one hand on Pumpkin, rubbing slow, soothing circles as I feel a soft squirm inside me.
"Soon," I breathe softly. "Soon, baby girl."
I only realise that I've slipped up when Siobhan gasps. "You're..."
My eyes flick up and I see her staring at me, open-mouthed.
"Don't tell Roman that I let it slip," I murmur. "I made a big deal about how we wouldn't tell anyone."
"A girl," she whispers, her eyes wide. "Oh, Lex, she's gonna be a beauty."
I giggle and then wince. "She's a little madam already though."
Siobhan raises an eyebrow. "She's your daughter, I wouldn't expect anything less."
"Thanks," I scowl. "Please don't tell the others though."
"I won't," she promises. "You both did a great job of convincing us that you didn't know. I mean, the grey room... Your bag is packed with baby clothes that are just white and yellow. I'm never going to believe a word that you and Roman say after this."
I chuckle as I approach the bed and take a second to lean against it to catch my breath again. "I honestly thought Roman was going to be the one to mess up and let the cat out of the bag."
Siobhan grabs a bottle of water, pouring some into a cup and handing it over to me. "I bet he's already in over-protective mode already."
I nod as I take a small sip and then grin. "It's adorable though."
"He's gonna be wrapped around her finger before he knows it."
I stare down at my bump. "I think he already is."
My baby girls. It's what he's said to me every time we've been alone and he's pulled me into his arms, kissing me whilst caressing my belly. It always makes my heart pound fast. He's already head over heels, doting on her already. There have been endless soft kisses to my bump, barely-there whispers that I don't catch. I just stroked his head and smiled as he talked to his soon-to-be-born daughter, the love between them already unbreakable.
"Hey," Siobhan's hand pats my shoulder softly. "Just keep thinking of her. Your baby girl in your arms, Roman holding her, holding you. Just think about that."
I nod as I start to move again, grimacing as I stop to grip at the bed frame.
My baby girl.
My baby girls.
"Well?" I grunt as Doctor Ash steps back and makes a note on my chart.
"You're nine centimetres. You're doing really well, Alexia. Baby is going well too and I would say that you'll be able to meet h–" She trails off, her eyes flickering to Siobhan.
"She knows," I wheeze. "It kinda slipped out."
She nods with a smile. "Well, I think that you'll be able to meet your baby girl very soon." She hooks my chart back up on the wall. "Is Roman...?"
"He just text," Siobhan pipes up. "He's waiting for his luggage, Lex. He'll be here soon."
"I'll check on you in thirty minutes," Doctor Ash tells me. "If you feel like you need to push, press the alarm button immediately okay?"
I nod, hissing loudly as another contraction grips me tightly. "Help me get up," I say to Siobhan as she leaves the room.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I can't get comfortable lying on this stupid bed."
I grip her hands tightly as I plant one foot and then other on the floor and stand slowly. Turning, I lean against the bed, breathing hard.
Siobhan's phone starts to ring and she quickly answers it.
"Roman?" There's a brief pause. "Okay, okay. She's at nine centimetres. You need to hurry."
"Where is he?" I hear myself whine.
"He's just getting into a cab," she tells me. "He is says 20 minutes."
"Tell the driver to put his damn foot down..." I moan, my hands gripping the bedsheets. "Fuck!"
"Lex?" Roman's voice fills the room.
"Ro... Just get here. Please. I need you here."
"I will. I'll be there soon, just keep going."
I can feel Siobhan's cool fingers on my forehead as I curse loudly. "Shiv..."
"What?" Her voice is calm, but when I look up there's worry all over her face. "What do you need?"
I point at the gas and air, the mouthpiece just out of reach. She quickly passes it to me and I breathe in deeply, her and Roman's voice fading away as I listen to my heart pound, my head getting lighter. I slump forward, my fingers leaving the sheets to push at my hair that's sticking to the back of my neck.
"Here," Siobhan's voice is still distant as I feel her hands move mine away and starts to gather up my hair again, re-arranging it into a loose knot on the top of my head. "Better?"
I nod. "Roman?"
"He'll be here soon," she tells me, pressing a damp cloth to the base of my neck. "You're doing so well, Lex. Seriously. You're amazing."
"I just..."
"You're almost there. You heard what your Doctor said, you're gonna meet your precious baby girl real soon. And you're gonna hold her and Roman'll be right there with you."
I nod, but my mind is clouding again, the pressure in my lower half almost unbearable and I cry out, my eyes squeezed shut.
"Breathe. C'mon..."
"Shiv... I feel..."
One hand slips away. "Lex, you can't..."
"I know."
"Just hold on."
She's back, holding my hands, letting me squeeze them as I howl into the sheets, muffling the sounds as I struggle to stop my knees from buckling.
I feel the breeze of the door opening and closing, Siobhan and Dr Ash murmuring.
"Alexia, I'm just going to take another look, okay?"
I nod dumbly. There's a pause.
"Okay, that last contraction has pushed you to ten centimetres. Now, are you happy like this?"
"Yes," I let go of Siobhan's hand for a second, groping for the mouthpiece once again.
"Listen to your body, Alexia. I'm right here, so if you feel the urge to push that's fine, but you need to breathe and take your time. You've still a little way to go yet."
I lift my head and see Siobhan in front of me. She gives me a soft smile. "You're doing great, Lex. Keep going. I'm not going anywhere until Roman gets here."
"Call him again."
But she shakes her head. "You can't think about that right now. You need to concentrate on your baby girl, remember?"
"I need–" I start to say, but the pressure is too much and I grasp at the mouthpiece, my face scrunched up as I try to breathe through it, giving up halfway through to let out another wail, my fingers digging into Siobhan's hands. "Sorry," I gasp.
She winces, staring at her hand and then back up at me. "It's okay. Whatever helps, Lex."
"I owe you."
"A bottle of wine and a cuddle with your baby girl is all I want."
"You're the best," I murmur, my head sagging back down into the sheets.
She squeezes my hands again, coaching me softly as with each contraction, I grunt and groan and cry and moan.
And then she's gone.
"Shiv..."
"I'm here, baby girl."
Strong hands grip my arms, a familiar smell drifting under my nose as I look up through bleary, exhausted eyes and see him crouching down in front of me.
"Ro," my voice cracks.
His thumb brushes across my cheek, his chin wobbling slightly as he smiles. "Told you I'd be here."
"I..."
"Ssh, just keep going Lex. I love you, you can do this." He shifts closer, one hand moving to the back of my head as he presses his forehead against mine. "I got you."
I can feel his arms around me, my head lolling on his shoulder. My legs feel like jell-o, as I slump onto the mat beneath the bed. My gown is bunched around my waist and I can feel fingers plucking at the neck, pulling it gently away from my skin. My arms are raised and then...
Warmth. A soft snuffle. A heady scent of something unfamiliar, yet so familiar it hurts.
I peer down at my chest, my heart clenching as I take in the scrunched up face, the dark tuft of hair, the ever so small fingers that are splayed against my skin. She squirms slightly, a deep inhale of breath before a soft cry bursts from her, growing in volume as I wrap my arms around her and pull her close, my lips brushing over her head.
"Ssh..." My voice is gentle. "I know... It's a shock, huh?"
I can feel Roman's lips on my shoulder, his hand moving to brush over her head. "She's... Lex... She's beautiful."
His face nuzzles mine and I can barely bring myself to look away from her and at him instead. "You're incredible," he breathes, his lips pressing briefly against mine.
"Congratulations," Doctor Ash smiles, making us both look up. "We need to get her cleaned up and check you over as well, Alexia." She reaches out and I carefully pass my gorgeous girl over.
Roman helps me back to my feet, re-arranging my gown as I lean heavily against him before he carefully lifts me onto the bed. My eyes are on Doctor Ash and the nurse in the corner of the room, watching as they weigh and measure our daughter, before they start to wrap her in a blanket.
"Go get her," I nudge Roman as Doctor Ash comes back to me.
I'm distracted as she checks me over, watching Roman speak to the nurse, nodding, unable to take his own eyes off the small pink bundle in the cot. I watch as he scrapes a shaking hand over his face as the nurse gestures that it's okay and he slowly and carefully lifts our daughter into his arms. He pauses, cradling her gently in his big arms and I can't help the tears that start to trickle down my cheeks as I watch him lower his head and press his lips to her head.
"Do you have a name?" Doctor Ash asks as Roman approaches the bed.
"What do you think?" he asks me, glancing up, his face softening as he sees my tears.
"Happy tears," I reassure with a smile. "She's so tiny in your arms."
He chuckles. "I wouldn't say eight pounds, four ounces was tiny."
I reach up and brush my hand over her covered head. "I think she suits it."
"You sure?" he murmurs. "I mean, I'm happy with it if you are."
I nod and turn to Dr Ash. "It's Ella. Ella Amelia Reigns."
She smiles warmly. "Well, we'll leave you alone with Ella. I'll ask Siobhan to give you a few minutes as well."
Roman sinks onto the edge of the bed, Ella still in his arms. "Do you want a cuddle with your Mama?" he whispers, his eyes flickering up to me. "Lex?"
"Hang on," I reach out to the side table, scrabbling for my phone. "I'm pretty sure she'll be more comfortable in your arms."
He chuckles softly as I bring up the camera app and start to snap, freezing each smile and gentle touch between father and daughter. "I've always said these arms were built for cuddling."
"Looks like I've got competition," I comment, watching as Ella squirms, her face turning into his chest.
"I'll always have room for both of you," he murmurs, rising slowly. "You feel okay? Can you move?"
I shift awkwardly, making a little more room for him so he can settle down next to me. He carefully passes me Ella, his arm wrapping around my shoulder as she nestles into me. His free arm covers mine, so we both cradle her, his fingers slipping between mine.
"I'm so proud of you," he whispers. "Thank you." His lips press against my temple.
I'm about to speak when Ella squirms and I'm caught up in watching her little mouth open and close, her eyes slowly opening.
"Wow..." I breathe. Soft grey eyes meet mine, before they flicker to Roman. "She's you all over."
He laughs quietly. "Just her eyes. I'd say she's got her Mama's beauty, hands down."
Ella snuffles, yawning again before her eyes drift closed. I know the feeling, I think, as my head rocks against Roman. I smile as I feel his fingers brush through my sweat-drenched hair.
"Do you want to get Shiv?" I mumble after a while. "I owe her a cuddle with Ella."
"In a bit," he replies. "Can't a guy have a few more moments with his girls?"
"Gonna have to share us at some point," I chuckle.
"I'm feeling selfish," he retorts gently. "Your Daddy's allowed to be selfish, right?" he says to Ella, a finger brushing across her cheek.
"Over-protective more like," I nudge him softly.
"Can you blame me?"
No, I think as I watch him bend forward and press his lips to Ella's forehead once again. He looks up at me and I feel his hand cup the back of my head, his mouth hot on mine. I definitely don't blame him.
Fin x
A/N: Not gonna lie, I welled up a few times writing this. I know, I'm such a sap when it comes to RoLex. Speaking of, this is it for RoLex - for a while anyway. I feel this is a good time to give them a little break and focus my efforts on our other wonderful couples as I have so much planned for them. We will obviously see RoLex through their eyes and I promise, I will return to them in a few stories time (trust me, that one-shot is already plaguing my mind!) Love you all xx