"Shit" Emma said quietly to herself as she sat on her bathroom floor, the positive pregnancy test still clutched in her hands. She should have known, she had been nauseous and vomiting for days and she had definitely missed her last period. She had tried to chalk it up to the stress of being a cop but there definitely was no denying it now. She was pregnant and it was her stupid coworker, Killian Jones's baby. It was only meant to be a one time thing, a night of drinks and celebration over cracking a particularly hard case had led to them falling into his bed together and her sneaking out of his apartment before dawn. There had been no hard feelings from either side, they had both known it was just sex and was just a one night stand nothing more. But this? This definitely changed that.
Emma scrolled through her phone until she got to his number and debated whether this was news you call or text someone about. She held her breath as she pressed the call button and listened to the other line ring.
"Why Swan to what do I owe the pleasure?" he had answered jovially. Emma let out a shaky breath trying to figure out what she wanted to say.
"I need to talk to you about something, can um you come to my place so I can tell you?" she asked.
"Emma is everything all right?" Killian asked his voice suddenly full of concern.
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out and long pause came from his end.
"Would you like me to bring some food for when we talk?" he asked breaking the silence.
"Ice cream would be nice," she said wiping away a tear that was starting to fall.
"As you wish, I'll be over there in 20 minutes," he said before he hung up.
He came to the door holding a tub of rocky road in his hands and concern and fear in his eyes. Emma took the ice cream from him and lead them into her kitchen where she took out two spoons and started digging into the ice cream straight from the carton.
"So," he sighed and picked up his own spoon and grabbed a bite.
"So," she repeated, "Killian I don't know what I'm going to do."
"Well I'll stand by any decision you make Swan, it's your choice," he assured her.
"Thank you, but you are the father I do want to hear about what you think we should do," she said.
"Well it's all very complicated isn't it?" he said, "I would love to have kids but with us both being on the force and getting into dangerous situations it could be scary. And I don't want to ask you to take a desk job just because you're going to be a mother, you love being in the field you shouldn't give that up," he explained.
"I see your point but I just don't think I could just not have this baby," Emma said tears burning in her eyes, "I couldn't... I couldn't do that."
"Okay so then we won't," he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Like I said this is your choice, I will stand by you whatever you choose."
She closed her eyes and looked down at the floor, "I think I want to have it," she nervously looked up at him.
His too blue eyes flash with a genuine happiness, "Then I would like to be involved as much as I can. If that's okay with you of course."
"You don't have to," she reminded him, looking up at his face.
"Aye but I want to," he said placing a hand on her cheek, "I want to be there for the doctor's appointments, building the nursery, being there when the baby comes, and helping to raise it when it's here."
"It's not going to be easy," she whispered.
"I know, but I'm up for the task. Believe me Emma I'm not going to abandon you or our child," he assured her.
"Okay," she said softly and let herself be enveloped in his hug.
"All right Emma I see it's your 18 week appointment, would you two like to know the sex of the baby?" the ultrasound technician asked.
Emma and Killian looked at each other, "I'm good with whatever you want Swan," he said.
"Sure, I've been wondering for awhile now," Emma nodded at the technician, excitement building in her stomach as the technician moved the transducer around Emma's baby bump and all three of them looked at the screen with baited breath.
"It looks like you're going to be having a little girl, congratulations you two," the tech smiled.
Emma gasped and felt a tear roll down her face as she looked at her daughter on the ultrasound screen.
"Love are you all right?" Killian asked concernedly.
"Yeah I'm fine, happy tears I promise," she said wiping away her tears, "We're having a girl!" she whispered excitedly.
"Aye we are, are you excited?" he asked her stroking her blonde hair lightly.
"Yeah are you?" she asked.
"Of course I am" he smiled widely, "A little lass is everything I could have hoped for."
Emma smiled back at him and couldn't control her eyes as they flicked down to his lips. They had agreed that they wouldn't start dating just because they were having a baby together, but Emma thought back to how helpful and involved he had been so far. He had come with her to every doctor's appointment, stood by her at work to make sure she and the baby were safe, made sure she ate healthily as well as got her anything she was craving. And she couldn't deny the way her heart beat picked up or her stomach did summer salts when she caught him glancing at her or when his name flashed across her phone screen on her caller id. Maybe being with him, in a romantic way, wouldn't be so bad?
"Emma are you still with us?" Killian asked her tapping her hand.
"What?" she questioned snapping out of her reverie.
"The tech just asked how many copies of the ultrasound we would like," he gestured to the technician.
"Oh just two I guess, one for you and one for me," she said the technician nodded and printed out to pictures and handed one to each of them.
"All right well that's it for today, we'll see you at your next appointment," the technician said kindly and left the room.
"You looked far away there for a moment," Killian said as he stood up from the chair and helped Emma untie the hospital gown she was wearing.
"Sorry I was just thinking of who we should decorate the nursery," Emma said quickly.
"Yeah? Well I supposed since we know the sex of the baby now would be as good a time as any to start thinking about that," he shrugged on his jacket, "Do you want to to go Target or something? Just to look and get ideas?" he suggested holding out her own jacket for her to wear.
"Yeah why not?" she smiled and lead him out the door.
"You just had to get the crib that is the most complicated to put together," he groaned from his spot on the floor of the nursery, surrounded by parts to assemble the crib.
"You're the one who insisted on putting it together yourself Mr. 'I can do anything Swan no really I can build it all by myself'," Emma said from the rocking chair they ad placed in the corner. She placed her hands on her baby bump, now very prominent. She had just started her maternity leave from the station and had gone into full nesting mode, throwing herself into decorating the nursery and getting everything ready for the baby. She and Killian had already painted the nursery, a soft minty green, and started putting in the furniture.
"Have you given any more thoughts about the name yet?" he asked as he looked at the instruction sheet laid out in front of him.
"Yeah, I was thinking maybe Elizabeth but we'd call her Lizzy most of the time, what do you think?" she said getting out of her chair and folding some onsies she had bought earlier in the day.
"Hmm Lizzy, Little Lizzy," he said, almost rolling the name around in his mouth, "I quite like it," he smiled.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," he said getting up and walking over to her. He placed his hand delicately on her bump, "I really like it Swan," he smiled down at her.
Emma looked up at him and felt her breath catch in her throat. He was looking at her so intensely, his eyes shining with happiness but something more was lingering, something in the way his lips perked up at the corners or the way he was looking so tenderly at her. She got up onto tiptoe and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She felt his hand stiffen and his sharp intake of breath neither of them spoke, the air sparking between them, and he slowly leaned in and kissed her properly on the lips. His hand left its place on her baby bump and wound around her waist pulling her closer to him. Emma tilted her head slightly allowing him to deepen the kiss, her fingers burring themselves in his thick, dark hair.
"Emma wait," he said pulling away from her slightly, his forehead still touching hers, "You said you just wanted to remain friends but now?" he questioned her lightly.
"Now I see that I can trust you, that you're not just going to decide that me and this baby aren't enough for you and walk out on us. Now I see that I love you, and I think I see that you love me too," she whispered still afraid that he would pull away, that this was too much for him.
Instead he pulled her closer, "You're right, I do love you," he said softly in her ear before kissing her again.
"Come on love push!" Killian encouraged her as she clutched onto his hand.
"I'm trying," she cried as another contraction hit her. It had been a long labor, Emma was exhausted as it seemed the Lizzy was taking her sweet time coming into the world.
"All right Emma you're doing great, just keep pushing and you can meet your daughter," the doctor said as he prepared for the baby to be born.
"You hear that Emma, you're almost there just keep pushing," Killian said running a hand through Emma's hair.
Emma groaned and concentrated on pushing until she literally couldn't do it anymore. She fell back against her pillow exhausted but happy when she heard the cries of her newborn daughter.
"Good job Emma, she's beautiful," one of the nurses said as she cleaned off the baby and swaddled her.
"You did it love," Killian said kissing her temple. The nurse came over and placed Lizzy in Emma's hands, Emma smiled down at her already so full of love for this little person.
"You're finally out," she said happy tears rolling down her face.
"She has your chin," Killian said softly gazing at the two of them transfixed.
"Yeah but she has your hair," Emma responded running her index finger down her daughter's face, she still couldn't believe she was actually here.
"Well one thing is sure, she's beautiful just like her mother," Killian kissed Emma softly before placing a kiss on Lizzy's forehead.
"Oh excuse me sir, but we're going to need to bandage up your hand before you're able to hold her," a nurse said to Killian.
"What happened to your hand?" Emma asked once she saw his red and swollen knuckles dotted with blood.
"Oh um, you may have squeezed them a little tightly and dug your nails in," Killian said as the nurse cleaned up his hand and placed a couple bandages on the cuts.
"It happens don't worry about it," the nurse assured her.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I was squeezing that hard," Emma apologized.
"It's quite all right, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you were in. I'm sure this is nothing," he shrugged and sat on the side of her bed.
"I love you so much," Emma said and pulled him in for a kiss.
"I love you too, both of you," he said.