A/N: Yeah, so I was really bored and Bella being drunk in fanfictions are a rather amusing event, aren't they? Yes, yes they are. [A/N: This story was originally very poorly written from when I first started out, and I am going to fix it up. 10/16/2010]

Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer actually does. Shock? No, it shouldn't be.

"Wait, you're meaning to tell me that she's drunk, Alice?" Carlisle asks, returning to his house from a shift at the hospital to find a oddly acting Bella and a strong smell of alcohol from her.

"Um...no...maybe...not. Oh, okay, yes Carlisle, Bella is indeed drunk." Alice sighs, "Emmett didn't though, I swear... I tried to stop him!"

"No, I didn't and neither did Shirley." Emmett says, defensively.

"Who might I ask is Shirley?" Carlisle raises his eyebrows at Emmett.

"My rubber duck...so leave her out of this. She's a good rubber duck." Emmett explained.

Emmett had found a fascination with rubber ducks after Bella had explained that it was a common childhood toy used during bath time and it floats on water and squeaks. For some reason he instantly ran out and bought one and had kept it ever since, deciding to name it Shirley.

Carlisle just shook his head, "Emmett, you know that you're not suppose to do things like this to Bella. It's not polite and to be honest, it's really cruel."

"Yeah, fine." Emmett sighs, "Sorry Carlisle."

"That won't fix things now..."

"Well, what are we going to do about Bella? She's more messed up than the look of Jasper's facial expression when he's at school." Rosalie mutters.

"Oh, thanks a lot." Jasper says, "Not like I have feelings or anything. Way to go, Rosalie."

Bella was now currently under the couch when she went in to a fit of hysterical giggles, "Alice," she slurred, "There's dust bunnies. Look at the pretty dust bunnies. Aren't they great?"

"Um, yeah they're awesome..." Alice trails off, "Why don't you come out from under there?"

Bella pulls herself from under the couch, and laughs at Alice, "Alice, do you realize how much of a fairy girl you look like?"

Alice makes a face of disgust, "Yeah, I'm aware. Subject change?"

"I want candy." Bella snickers, "Lots and lots." she tries to get up, and almost falls over but Emmett steadies her before she can fall.

"Up you go, drunk girl." Emmett grins.

"Enough with the small talk, just get me the candy. Right now." Bella demanded, as she hiccuped.

"Bella, maybe you should be well... filling yourself with sugar right now." Carlisle says, soothingly.

"Get me the candy, or I get the matches and gasoline."

"What the hell..." Emmett mutters, "I don't know if she's a funny drunk or a crazy violent one right now."

"Lets just get her some candy..." Alice mutters, as Emmett guides Bella towards the kitchen.

"Where are we going?" she snaps.

"To get you candy, come on to the kitchen. Esme might know where to find some. Alright?"

"Yeah, works for me." she says, stumbling as Emmett keeps her up on her feet still.

They walk in to the kitchen where Esme was, and Alice looks at her pleadingly, "Esme, you wouldn't happen to have any candy somewhere in this place, would you? Oh, please say yes..."

"Yes, I do...I'm guessing it's needed." she replies.

"Desperately."

Esme gets Bella some candy and that calms her down for quite a while, though she continued to say a bunch of stupid things and tell people things that she wouldn't have ever said if she were sober. The Cullen's didn't know if they should be amused or really mad at Emmett. Though everyone knew what Edward's response would be, and he'd definitely have to be running for Canada sometime very soon.

"You know, I think we should have some karaoke time." Emmett snickers.

"No, I think we shouldn't." Rosalie says, "You're already going to be in enough trouble as it is. Do you really want to make it any worse?"

"Why not?" Emmett shrugs, "May as well get all the fun out of it while I can."

"Don't do that to her, Emmett." Carlisle sighs, "She's going to be so horrified once she's sober and finds out everything."

"You think I honestly care about that?" he shrugs as he sets up one of those 'on the go' karaoke thingies. Plugging it in to the TV and grinning at Bella.

"Hey, cutie, come here, I got something for you." he smirks, "I'm sure you'll want it."

"Go shove it." Bella says, "I want to sit down and eat the rest of my candy, you big oaf."

"Ouch, I'm hurt." Emmett sniffs, "Bella, you're horrible."

"Well, then...leave me alone?" Bella slurrs.

"Nawh, come on trust me, you'll like what I got. Don't you want to sing karaoke?"

"Karaoke?" she asks, blinking.

"Yeah, come on, it's really fun. You just take this microphone and sing the songs that are going across the screen into it. You can even pick the songs!"

"Hmm... maybe." she gets up, and falls face first in to the floor but thankfully doesn't hurt herself, "Ouch..."

"Um, here let me help you." Emmett says, helping her over to the TV, "Sit on the floor, maybe."

"I feel like a dog. Woof..."

"Um...right. What song do you want to sing?"

"That one!" she points at the screen.

"That one it is." Emmett says, and presses the play button, sticking the remote in Bella's hand.

"Head under water,
and they tell me
to breathe easy for a while.
Breathing gets harder,
even I know that.
You made room for me,
but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands.
I'm unusually hard to hold on to.
Blank stares at blank pages.
No easy way to say this.
You mean well, but you make this hard on me.
I'm not gonna write you a love song,
if you ask for it..."

"Awe, why'd you stop singing, Bella?" Alice giggles slightly.

"I got bored." she shrugs.

"Oh, alright then. What do you want to do now?"

"Make a Jasmettisle!"

"Make a what?"

"Are you fucking deaf or something?"

"Wow, Bella...language." Carlisle looks shocked at hearing Bella speak like that.

"Can it, doc! I want to make a Jasmettisle! A cross breed of a Jasper, Emmett and a Carlisle."

"Um, Bella, you can't do that." Rosalie says.

"Why not?" Bella cries.

"Well, just because we can't... it's physically impossible..."

"Well, it won't be now. Come here boys!" Bella giggles.

The three men actually ran away from Bella as she giggled almost evilly this time and went after them, actually managing not to fall over from her extreme drunkenness. She tried to get to them but they had retreated up the stairs and to Carl isle's office. So she probably wouldn't be able to get up there.

"Alice." Bella whines.

"I am not going to help you with this." Alice says.

"Well, it would be kind of amusing though." Rosalie does put in.

Esme giggles softly, "I'll help."

There's a bunch of yells of protest from Carl isle's office from the three men. They manage to get hairs from them, much to their distaste and Bella's amusement. Then Edward walks in to the house, back from hunting and stares at Rosalie, Alice, Esme and the clearly drunk Bella.

"Um..."Rosalie sighs.

Alice quickly blocked her thoughts, "We wish you a Merry Christmas." she thought to herself in her head.

"Alice!" Edward growls at her.

"Emmett did it!" she shrieks.

"Did not!" Emmett yells from Carl isle's study.

"Alice..." Bella trails off, "LETS MAKE A JEDWARD!"

"Um, Edward...run." Alice says.

Seeing the odd and demented look in Bella's eyes that is indeed what Edward did. However it was much too late for him, and Bella also manged to get Edwards hair. All was crazy in the Cullen's house that night.

The hair DNA samples were sent to some freak lab in some foreign country, and the Cullen's had to admit they were interested to see the results. Poor Bella, even when she had sobered up, was none the wiser to what they'd be sent months in to the future...

A/N: Yeah, so there's that. Ummm, yes, there's a sequel, which I am also going to fix up and continue when I get the chance. It's really random, I know.