« Raven, are you okay? » « Raven, are you fine? » « Raven, are you coping well? » She's tired of people asking her if she needs anything, if they could help. Of people looking at her like she can't do anything on her own. That…is very much true, at the moment. Her leg hurts, her whole body makes her feel like a truck just ran over her. But still her answer's the « I'm perfectly fine. Don't you have anything better to do? »
There are a few persons she occasionally allows into the room they set up for her in the infirmary.
She allows Wick to walk in. They don't kiss, they don't fuck — she couldn't anyway. But sometimes, just sitting next to each other is enough. He knows, doesn't he? What the fiery explosion felt like. The despair that grabbed her to the throat when she heard the footsteps of the Mountain Men approaching them and knew that she couldn't run away or take a gun out of her bag and shoot. Shoot until they'd be all dead. Mama, just killed a man, put the gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead… She sings sometimes when she's all alone. And she remembers her own words. Welcome to the ground. Because they're all killers in their own way, aren't they? None of them was innocent. Sometime she feels Kyle's hand on hers, bigger and warmer and gently patting its back. And in these moments, Raven Reyes herself wants to cry.
She lets Harper walk in. Mostly because she decided to help while Abby was still recovering from the bone marrow sampling and she's the one to replace Raven's bandages everyday. She never talked much to that girl before, considering she was one of Bellamy's gunners and she was on Clarke's side. But that felt so long ago, and now, as she looks to Harper's pale face, her eyes haunted with what she endured, she's just sad. How could teenagers like them suffer so much? She talks to Harper a little because they both know how painful it was, the drill in their knees and their hips, flesh and bones crushed by metal. When the blond girl leaves, she wonders if they could have been friends if this mess didn't happen.
When Jasper passes the curtain, she doesn't yell at him. Although she hated the Moutain Men with a fiery passion, she knows what losing someone she loves has. Two times. The one time she realized Finn loved Clarke with all his heart and she didn't have enough room in it anymore. The second when he actually stopped breathing. So she comforts him, as much as she can. Raven has never had a way with words, but, God! She's trying, trying so hard. She tries to cheer him up by telling him stories mechanics told each other back then on the Ark. Dam jokes with her bitter voice and the smirk every surviving delinquent knows. Sometimes they look at each other, and he smiles. That, she considers her little victory.
And finally, she says nothing when Bellamy sits on the corner of her bed, his face shut. She knows Octavia gave him a haircut and they grabbed clothes from Mount Weather, but he still looks the same to her, the boy who once was the rebel king to his people and their messiah. She can almost see the guilt eating him up, the sadness as he gets the habit of calling Clarke's name and realizing she won't answer now. They don't talk much, but their silence is words. Once he gave her a hug, and she buried her face in his shoulder. They both know who they miss, what they lost.
Now, as she's sitting on the bed, the twilight lighting her face with tons of reds and purple, she grabs a pencil and begins drawing. She wants a system that will not fail, something as efficient and effective as what Bellamy described of Mount Weather. But it will be hers. She'll be known for that. People would not forget Raven Reyes' name, nor her face or her mind. As she stands up for the first time in weeks to give the plans to Marcus Kane with a big, warm smile, she knows she has began working on her new project. On her brace for all they endured.