This story is Co-authored with Ten ways to spoil dinner. Please give him credit whenever you acknowledge this story.
Warning: Some viewers may find this story not to their taste. Do not read it if you are: White, Black, Spanish, Asian, Smart, Tall, Short, fat, skinny, a ninja, a sea animal, or a vegetable.
Attack From The Deep
Chapter one: CLOSED!?
Dark, Dangerous,and deep...NO! We aren't talking about Ino's vagina! We're talking about the deep blue sea, and all of the dumb asses that live there.
It started one not-so-normal morning in Bikini Bottom, and a pun is intended. Spongebob Squarepants, a Square sponge with Square pants, and his best friend Patrick Starr, who is a starfish, were walking to their second favorite place in the the whole world: Jellyfish.
"We're almost there, Patrick," Spongebob's squeaky voice rang out with.
"I know that, Fucktart," Patrick replied in a rather apathetic tone. Spongebob was in his normal happy because they were going to Jellyfish, his favorite sport.
"Wait a sec'." Spongebob Dumbpants commanded
"... Me? You talkin' to me?" Patrick inquired.
"Uh... yeah, there's no one else here. Are all of those heavy metal concerts making you deaf?" Spongebob asked
"What about a dead squirrel? Patrick asked stupidly, and deafly.
"I said: ARE. YOU. DEAF!" Spongebob yelled so the starfish could hear him.
Patrick blinked lazily. "What about me being dead?"
Spongebob gave an agitated sigh, saying, "Whatever," before walking again. "I was going to say something, but now I forgot what. I think it was something like... yo mama is so fat, she has her own moon. No wait, maybe it was... Chuck Norris doesn't read, he stares the book down until he gets the information he wants. No wait..." But before he could go on,Patrick interrupted.
"Maybe you wanted to tell me that 'Jellyfish fields is closed because we are to damn lazy to contain the jellyfishessexy parties." As he said that, a jelly fish in a sailor suit, being followed by numerous jellyfishes in bunny costumes, zoomed by.
Spongebob took one look at the scene and said, "Damn! I wanna piece of that action."
"You couldn't get any of that even if you didlook good." Patrick insulted. "But any way, here's the real question: What do you do when they take a poo in your shoe, but you don't have a sole?"
"Uh... throw it away?" Spongebob answered.
"No, dum bass. You go to the Krusty Krab and get drunk." Patrick answered joyfully.
"Right..." Spongebob replied, unsure of what to make of hi friends 'answer'.
"But anyway. I need to go behind that rock." Patrick said, walking behind a large rock.
Spongebob, out of stupid curiosity, walked behind the rock. He walked out from behind the rock with both eyes twitching. "Never.... walk... behind.... a rock.... again."
Patrick also walked out. His pants were down, but some coral was in the way of anything children may not want to see "What? I do that every thursday?''
"Patrick," Spongebnob began, "Please pull your pant up."
"No." The moronic marine starfish answered, "Because my pants like to be down and around, just like yo mama."
"Right.... fruit fag." Spongebob said, walking away. "Come one. Let's just go to the Krusty Krab."
"Sure thing." Patricksaid, following, his pants still down.
--
"What the FUCK!" Naruto yelled complaining in Tsunade's office, "Why haven't we even been introduced yet. I mean COME ON. The story is in the Naruto section. It's about Naruto, not a retarded sponge and an even more retarded star fish who go around doing things that defy nature."
"Simmer down, Naruto," Tsunade ordered, sitting at her office desk.
"Says you and your big jugs." Naruto muttered, though she still heard him.
"WHAT WAS THAT!" Tsunade yelled, fire being clearly seen in her eyes....
...3...2...1...
BOOM! Naruto was thrown out of the Hokage's office window. He fell down, down, down, onto the street, landing on Hinata.... who blushed very deeply.