Preference - Hope for the Hopeless

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." - Dale Carnegie

I used to believe life just coasted by us, and time meant almost nothing. I used to believe that living in the moment mattered more than anything and yet at the same time mattered noting at all. I used to believe that life never really changed it just temporarily gave us small moments of relief from our pain and guilt. I used to believe that no good really existed in the world, that good was only subjective. I used to believe that love was lust filled with illusion. I used to believe that I needed something to dull and numb the pain that just came with living.

I used to be wrong.

Now standing here in front of this podium in front of people who have for the most part believed one, more or possibly everything that I used to believe; the lies about the wo rld I used to believe. I have come to the realization that people and time really has made a difference.

Time change us.

Time has changed me.

Time has taught me lessons that dulling and numbing myself never could.

Time has brought me love.

Time has taught me how to love.

Time has been part of my saving grace.

I wanted so much to share this with everyone here, I wanted them to believe me and not just think that I was the type of person that these revelations had been easy for. The truth of the matter is I have always taken the hard way. I have never been the type of man that took the path not littered with unnecessary obstacles. I am the man that has stumbled along the darkest road until he found his way out tripping over every wrong decision and wrong word, time and time again.

The dull little room was lit warmly and in the back sat the most important people in the universe to me. The people that had helped me when I was too obstinate to help myself. The people despite all of my faults were here supporting me now. The people that I will never take for granted again. The hope, pride and love that radiated from their eyes and there simple smiles were enough to make me want to share my story, to give some other hopeless soul before me the hope that I craved. If I could help them light their dark path I would. I would extended a hand to try and help pull them from the darkens as the seven faces in the back of the room had done for me. I would tell my story. I would relive my past no matter how much hurt and how much pain that I would feel now. I would do it for all of them.

I tapped on the microphone attached to the podium. "Okay I think that this is on." I smiled at the crowd. Some smiled back others I feel maybe still couldn't. "Hello, My Name is Edward Cullen and I am an alcoholic."