Another randomly random thing while inspiration is lacking…
Dave knew that it was his fault. He was the one that fucked everything up. But that didn't stop the tiny ache in his chest as he watched Blaine nudge Kurt playfully while they ate lunch.
It was weird coming back to school. It wasn't as if anything had miraculously changed over the summer. He was still messed up and he still hadn't told anyone about anything. But Z had figured out something was wrong. It wasn't as if he had downright said something, but Dave got the feeling that Z was always careful of what to say around him. After all, Dave had kicked him out of the Karofsky home for saying something about how it was a shame that things didn't work out with Lopez.
Over summer, it had been easy for Dave to pretend that it never happened. That everything with Kurt, and prom was all a distant nightmare that only crept up on him on those hot nights where he couldn't fall asleep. But now, seeing Kurt, with his boyfriend, knowing that he would never be like that, annoyed him beyond belief. He was fine ignoring his sexuality for at least the rest of high school, so why now, on the first day of school, did it start to hurt again?
Yes, he could admit to himself that he was indeed gay, but that didn't change anything. It's not like he could tell his dad or any of his friends about it. So what was the point? He would just have to make to with being content with his life. Happiness was overrated. And besides, no gay guy would ever want him as a boyfriend. Kurt had made that perfectly clear. He could still remember the phrase that was spat out at him in disgust; 'You're not my type'. That kiss had been the single best and worst moment of his life. Because before that he had been in more or less, control of his feelings. After the kiss, everything had spiralled out of control. Thank fuck he had managed to man up and apologise properly before something dark took over for good.
But summer break meant that all the drama and anxiety had come to a halt and he had planned to somehow keep it up for all of senior year.
But Kurt had other ideas.
As soon as their eyes met across the cafeteria Dave knew what was going to happen. It was obvious just from the way the other boy was looking at him in determination. Dave saw Kurt whisper something to Blaine before he got up out of his seat. Dave ducked his head and tried to remain as calm as possible under the circumstances. Z and the rest of the boys were talking about a college ball game that had been on cable the night before, but Dave just kept silent, shovelling chilli down his throat.
He smelt Kurt before he saw him. The same smell that he smelt if he shoulder-checked him, shoved him or kissed him. As Kurt cleared his throat Dave knew it was time to look up. But Z seemed to get his words out before Dave had a chance.
"Are you lost, Lady?" the jock sneered. Some of the other football players around the table laughed in amusement. Dave couldn't help but wince at the offensive term.
Kurt chose to ignore Azimio's words. Instead he turned to Dave. "Hello David." Dave met his eyes and nodded the briefest of nods. He couldn't say anything. Not here. Not in front of his friends.
But Azimio didn't appreciate Kurt ignoring him. "You looking for a death wish? Go back to your singing freaks, homo. Don't think that you're above being slushied. Just because Karofsky's on a warning with you, doesn't mean the rest of the team are."
Dave noticed Kurt take in a sharp breath and clench his jaw tightly but like before, he didn't acknowledge Azimio's presence. He had turned his body away from the rest of the table and was now just facing Dave. "I was hoping that maybe we could have a private word."
To the left of him, Dave heard Azimio scoff as if that had been the most ridiculous request ever.
This was it. The ultimate question. A way forward. Kurt was giving him a chance. The singer was looking at him the same expectant expression he did at Prom. Dave could practically hear his own words ringing in his ears from that night. 'I can't'.
And suddenly, he knew what he had to do. Fuck talking himself out of this. This was his life.
Dave took a glance back at his friends before hauling himself to his feet. Taking his tray with him he gave Kurt the faintest of smiles. "Sure."
For Dave, the whispers of the student body were easily drowned out by Kurt's eyes lighting up at his reply.
The weight shifted off of his shoulders as he followed Kurt to an empty table.
Dave was meant to be pretty sure before he saw Kurt again that he wasn't going to come out in senior year and then Kurt is brave enough to walk up to him in front of all the jocks and that helps him to be a little braver…
Whatever, I dunno if I managed to get that across.
Did people get it? Does it seem like something that could maybe happen? Does it even make sense?
Let me know :P
DDF
XXX