On the afternoon of February the Ninth, Kyle Broflovski sat at home on his bed thinking. His homework lay undone on his desk, despite having been home from school several hours. For many, this wouldn't have been the least bit strange, but Kyle was one of those weird people who actually liked studying and got really excited by the notion of good grades. He didn't even need a reward from his parents like some kids did, he honest to God enjoyed it.
Normally at six o'clock on a school night, Kyle would have been through his regular homework and working on some project or another, but instead, he was just sitting on his bed, a shoddily made poster perched on his pillow, staring at the poster and thinking.
Kyle had tried to tell himself that this wasn't an issue. That it was just some stupid thing that had crossed his mind and that he should shake it off. But, of course, he had over thought it and now it wouldn't go away. And so, Kyle just stared at the poster, thinking.
Of course, Kyle knew, Valentine's was coming up soon, which meant the Valentine's Day dance, like it did every year. And of course, like every year, it was a Sadie Hawkins dance: girls in control and guys just helpless pawns hoping to get asked. In past years, this kind of thing had never been a problem. Freshman year, he hadn't really liked anyone, so he was sort of relieved to not be asked. In fact, he'd relished the Sadie Hawkins dance the previous year because it meant that he didn't have to worry about his friends trying to talk him into asking various girls he didn't like out.
But this year… well, Kyle was just confused. He'd mulled it over for hours, but he couldn't think of a single solution. Finally, he picked up the phone and called Wendy, otherwise known as the only person in their graduating class who was possibly smarter than him. Or at least as studious. Kyle hoped that counted for something. And besides, Wendy was a girl, so she would know how to deal with, although Kyle hated to admit that that was what they were, girly issues.
"Hey, Kyle!"
"Uh, hey Wendy." Kyle shuffled uncomfortably and played with the corner of the poster.
"What's up?" she asked. "Need help with some homework or something?" The teasing edge in her voice was barely detectable, but it was there.
Kyle couldn't help but laugh a little, "No," he told her. "I actually wanted to ask you a question about…" he paused, not sure how bet to put it.
"Yeah?" Wendy prompted impatiently. "Look, Kyle," she said after a few moments of silence went by, "I haven't got all day to listen to nothing coming out of a phone. If I wanted to do that I'd call Cartman."
Kyle laughed, "No, I just…" he trailed off again, unable to finish the sentence.
"Oh, come on, Kyle," Wendy groaned in a tone of voice that very clearly stated that she was rolling her eyes. "Just get out with it already. I have an essay to write for Lit. I wasn't kidding about not having all day. "
Bet you weren't kidding about calling Cartman either, Kyle thought, but he kept it to himself. He needed Wendy's advice and he knew better than to bring up Wendy and Cartman's non-dating. "Fine. Um. It's about the dance, actually," he finally managed.
"Oh." Wendy sounded surprised. "Are you asking me for advice or asking me out?" she said. "Because I'm actually going with someone already and I would really hate to h-"
Kyle cut her off, "Look, calm down Wendy, I'm not asking you out. Besides, it's a Sadie Hawkins dance."
"Oh, yeah," Wendy mumbled, almost inaudibly, "I totally knew that…"
"I know," Kyle said. "Actually, that's what I was going to ask about."
"Sadie Hawkins?" Wendy asked. "You didn't want to look it up online or something? Is you internet broken or did you really want to talk to me or maybe-"
Kyle cut her off again, knowing that she would go on and on and on all night if he didn't stop her and a certain Fatass would be very disappointed if that was allowed to happen. "No, I know who Sadie Hawkins was. Suffragette, feminist, hence why they call a female dictated dance a Sadie Hawkins dance."
"Mmm-hmm," Wendy said, and then cursed much more vividly than Kyle would have thought someone would want to over not getting to tell someone about Sadie Hawkins.
"What?" Kyle asked.
"Oh nothing, just dropped a stapler on my foot."
Kyle winced. He'd done that before. More than once. Klutzyness was just one of those traits that seemed to be hereditary for Jews. Like weird senses of humour and weird noses. And complaining, or kvetching, as his mother and extended family put it. Apparently, having a nice ass was a recurring trait too, but…
"Kyle?"
"Oh, sorry, just thinking about dropping things and family traits. Guess I kinda spaced out."
Wendy sighed. "So, if you know who Sadie Hawkins was and you don't need help on your homework then why'd you call?"
"I was wondering," Kyle paused, gnawing his lip nervously and continuing, "I was wondering what you think the etiquette would be if one guy wanted to ask another guy to a Sadie Hawkins dance. You know, because it's like, the girl's supposed to ask and stuff and if there's no girl then, well, you know…"
There was an almost tangible pause, and then Wendy burst out laughing. Kyle turned bright red and thanked God that he was just talking on the phone so that Wendy couldn't see the incredible colour his face had assumed. Crazy intense blushing, Kyle noted, adding it to the list of Jewish Hereditary Traits.
"Kyle, you are SUCH a dork."
"I know, I know," Kyle mumbled, embarrassed. "Can you just answer the question?"
"And why, exactly do you think I would know how to deal with something like that?"
"Well…" Kyle faltered. That was a good question, actually. Why had he thought Wendy would know how to deal with how to ask another guy to a Sadie Hawkins dance if you were a guy? Being as Wendy was neither a guy, nor gay, although she had at one point dated Bebe…
"Well?"
"I dunno, you just seem knowledgeable, I guess."
Wendy laughed. "I'm flattered. Anyway, I don't know. I guess it would just be anything goes. Unless," she paused to shift the phone to her other ear, "unless one guy was established as the more feminine type and the other was more masculine. But then again, I can't see how that pertains to you and Stan, you're both pretty much normal guys, neither one of you goes around in dresses or anything like that."
Kyle blushed redder than his hair. I mean, it was pretty obvious that that was what he was talking about, but coming right out and saying it was still embarrassing. "Uh, yeah, thanks Wendy. I should, um, I should call Stan, I guess."
Wendy laughed. "Yeah, you go girl," she said, inducing an even deeper shade of red than Kyle had previously thought possible.
"Yeah, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow at school."
"See you later." The phone line went dead and Kyle snapped shut his phone and set it on his pillow next to the poster. He sighed. Then he got up and went to the bathroom. And then, he went downstairs and helped Ike with his homework. And then did his homework. And cleaned the bathroom. And made dinner. And washed the dishes. And cleaned the bathroom again.
Finally, Kyle trudged back upstairs, satisfied that he had managed to spend the last five hours during the time at which Stan would be reachable by phone accomplishing things.
With a sigh, Kyle removed the poster from his pillow, tucking it underneath his bed and taking out his diary. It was girly to keep a diary, but it was something he'd gotten used to. Besides, it wasn't like he wrote "Dear Diary" and talked about his gushy feelings. Not that writing his entries like letters addressed to his imaginary friend, Arthur, was much better.
Finished with his letter to Arthur, Kyle yawned and tucked away the diary, settling into his comforter and drifting off to sleep.
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Author's Drabble: So... here it is. The beginning of my first fanfiction ever. Based on me wondering what gay guys at our school are going to do about asking people to the Sadie Hawkins dance. And my love of Ike. So... Yeah. I hope it's good, I like how it's coming out. A chapter two is on the way soon, which will have lots and lots and lots of Broflovski brothers and a little bit of sillyness. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it two or three chapters, but it's all planned out pretty much. I just dunno if I wanna stick some random other stuff in there. Kinda do. But I dunno. Might have a way to get more Wendy and Ike in than there already is, which would buy more words, and as I know from NaNoWriMo, all words are good words and all words count. Oh, and the Candy wasn't supposed to be there. It snuck in. I just got turned on to that pairing from another fic I was reading, and honestly, it's hilarious. It's way too much fun to play with to resist on grounds of disliking Cartman!
Um. That indeed WAS a drabble. In any case, I'll have this done by Valentine's day, and by this I mean the whole story. I guess that's my V-day art. Soyeah. Hope you enjoyed this and hope you read more! Please review, it would be ever so helpful for moi, ze beginning fanfic writer. Next up: lots of Ike Broflovski and some more girly Kyle!