SUMMARY: "So what if I cut out the part where I somehow confessed to him in a secretive kind of way? He may not even caught the millions small, tiny, microscopic hints I gave him!" /sequel to "story-telling in the rain"/
Tell me; what am I doing with my life? Is this even considered 'Romance'? It's not even humorous or… stuff… Just… Enjoy.
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So, uh, hi there, um... friend? Uh… It's raining again outside and we're inside the same café as the first time we met – that's a good thing, right? Um… So, it's been months already, huh? Yeah, I hope you still remember the promise I made with you the first time we met; you know, the one about "I'll tell you everything about the meeting I have with Len the moment we clashed eyes" thing.
So, before I get to the story; I've been thinking whether Miku is actually a really bad person or she's bad but still has a good intention within her. Yes, she is still a slut who toys around with the boys at school (including Len, by the way) but the thing is… she kind of helped me with me and Len's situation? I am beginning to doubt my hatred towards her, really (geez, paranoia really loves me). But anyway, it started when I walked out of this café and I realised that it was raining and I don't have an umbrella to protect me from being soaked wet.
When I yelled out my frustration towards my luck, being all "I forgot about the rain! Now how am I supposed to meet Len? Freaking bad luck has its evil ploy on me!", Miku came with this… special strange get-up; specially made for me, that is.
She wears this big oversized black sweater with the black hoodie thingie that covered up most of her face and a pair of black baggy pants. It looked awkward on her because I'm used to looking at her with her short and skimpy clothing. I think she's supposed to disguise herself from being noticed but her freakishly long teal hair didn't help her. Seriously, that hair of hers literally sweeps all the puddles on the sidewalk, it was a wonder how she manage to take care of her hair better than I do. I mean, look at my short blonde hair that doesn't want to grow out at all! It's all tangled and stuff right now because it's raining again today. Either the rain showed fate for us to be together and meet at this same café or it's just a big coincidence (and I could hear bad luck laughing at me, I'm serious).
Let's just say it's our fate and get over it.
So! She came up to me with a ninja-wannabe stance and an umbrella in her hand. She chanted a weird chain of words that sounded like 'Nin, Nin, Miku, Miku' over and over again until it became really annoying; I almost threw a falcon punch on her pretty little face if we weren't in public. Then, she threw the umbrella at me all dramatically but her aiming skills is so freaking BAD that the tip of the umbrella crushed through my skulls and killed many of my brain cells, almost damaging it.
I'm over-exaggerating.
It's not serious, really, just that it really HURTS and I still have the bruise on my forehead but I bandaged it. See the bandage? Yup. I don't want people looking at it so whenever people asked me why I got a bandage when it's obvious it's just a small non-harmful injury, I'd reply, 'I just want to look bad ass, is that so wrong?' and then they backed away, probably thinking I'm some kind of a bully or something. Probably. And then a thought occurred to me. Someday, I'd like to become a delinquent. It was so awesome looking at them cowering in fear, bowing down to my powers. Ha ha ha! I feel so… kingly and invincible that time, I feel like I could rule the entire world!
HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE
Oh what? Sorry, got carried away there…
Ahem.
Anyhow, I picked up the umbrella that fell onto the concrete sidewalk and when I stood straight again, she's gone out of sight – except that I saw a strand of long teal hair hiding behind a nearby corner of a dark alleyway, yeah. She failed as a ninja or even a secret spy with that hair of hers. I ignored her awkward existence and opened the umbrella, rushing through the rain and heading to me and Len's meeting spot – my house. Yup, just my plain 'ol house – nothing special like a secret hiding place underground or a special childhood place where we first met, nope. That only worked in anime or manga and tear-jerking dramas. This is reality; the cruel, cruel reality which most teenagers wish to not have.
I hope you're not expecting something fancy.
Continuing on with the story!
While I was walking with millions of thoughts swirling around my head of what the meeting will be, a white cat sneaked up on me and pounced on my back, purring its throat off. I was so shocked (I nearly had a heart attack) I face-planted the wet flooded ground if not my reflexes failed to kick in at the most perfect timing ever. My arms managed to hold my weight and before I could let out a sigh of relief and pray to the heavens for a bit of good luck bestowed upon me, the cat plunged its claws inside my skin while STILL purring out loud.
I swear to god that cat was secretly the ever-so-popular black cat which brings bad luck to innocent people that worked for bad luck and was sent to shitting KILL me and bring me to hell to burn me ALIVE. And you know what, look at the window beside you and you'll see a white cat waiting for me to come out of this café and it will probably kill me once I did so. And yes, the cat has a connection to this story.
Moving on! I managed to reach to my house once I cursed at the devil and kicked the nuisance high up to the skies but along the way, I could still feel the cat's eyes staring at me very, very intently. It felt like the cat was the 'Len' inside my dream where 'he' stares at me (which is really creepy). I quickly put off my shoes on the porch step and opened the door, seeing that Len is already inside waiting for me.
By the way, my parents gave a spare key of my house to him because he is trustworthy enough in taking care of me.
Just because he is my best friend, they freaking gave a spare key to LEN; a GUY – to take care of ME; aka a GIRL. And WHY would I need a person taking care of me, anyway? It's not like I'm a five-year old – needing a babysitter and whatnot!
My parents are messed up.
Anyway, Len already entered my house without having to worry to ask for permission from me or my parents first. So, once he realised I finally existed inside the house, he walked up to me all histrionically or melodramatically or something and he freaking hugged me out of the blue. After a few moments of his warmth melting into my cold body (because it's freezing cold outside) I returned the hug because… either it felt nice warming up a bit or my best friend instincts were kicking in. I don't know myself, but I hugged him back. And we just stood in the living room like that for what seems like… half an hour, maybe; hugging each other without an utter of word.
…Until I just had to ruin the perfect moment of beautiful best-friend-ship-what.
I pushed him off of me, feeling disgusted that I'm actually hugging someone like a weakling. Len just looked at me shocked, upset, puzzled and broken-hearted and he made me feel guilty for like the millionth time in total but I managed to push away the feelings (regrettably) and faced him like a man. Or, woman – I don't know… but you get the point. I fixed my eyes onto his into a glare, showing him how mad I was at him (with no reasonable reason whatsoever but it adds up spice I guess).
"What do you want, Len?" I asked confidently, my eyes locking onto his. Len stood in front of me and stared me for a while until he realised my glare. He took it as a challenge and glared me as well. And we started a glaring battle to see who's better at keeping their eyes either froze-bite icy or melting hot fiery.
"You KNOW what I want." He leaned in forward, towering me for dominance but I only raised an eyebrow at him, like the awesome chic I was. As a result, he backed away a bit, leaving me with a more… comfortable space area. "Okay, what's going into you, Rin?" he asked, "You're behaving weird, it's like you're insecure being with me."
I can tell that he's really upset but that was as expected. He's one of the brotherly-type of best friend whenever I was having any kind of problems. But of course, I refused to tell him because seriously? Would you WANT to confess that you THINK you're in love with the person you're currently talking to? Like, all of a sudden, out of the BLUE? I doubt not. AND would you say "Nothing. I'm completely fine," to the person who is already highly suspicious of us being really troubled? NO. By saying that, it would only raise their suspicions towards us and we wouldn't want that, now do we? This is a matter of logic so you're only being stupid if you did it.
So, I just said to him coolly, "That's confidential, private and personal. It's so secret-ish, not even a pebble can know it."
"All the more reason you should tell it to your best friend," he said, putting his hands on the side of his hips. "Seriously, Rin; just spit it out." And so I obliged his order. I spitted on the bare uncarpeted floor and I was not worried that I'd have to clean the mess up after the meeting ended because it was totally worth it. But unlike me being pleased and all, Len's eyes widened like saucers, shocked at what I just did. He was stuttering and was talking like, "What – Ri-Rin?! The hell, Rin?! Stop messing around!".
And I was, like, begging him like a dog, "C'mon! Can't you see I seriously don't want to talk about it? Please, Len!" but I didn't bother putting in the puppy-dog eyes for extra effect because that would be totally unnecessary during that point of time – I just spitted right in front of him. And puppy-eyes are not my thing so I would look REALLY out of character.
Len's eyes softened and it was his turn to plead. "Rin, please, just tell me. I am really, really worried about you. Do you think I can just be relaxed with my life when I know that something fishy is going on with my best friend?" He paused and as I rolled my eyes, he put his hands on my shoulders, looking serious as hell. "Is it about school? Me? About love problems, your relationship? Me? Your life? Health problems? Death proposal? ME? My parents? My family? Are they troubling you? Bullies? ME? Oh god, please don't tell me that you're pregnant and –"
"Whoa! Hold your phone there, buddy," I cut him off just before he'd continue on his stupid assumptions. "You can actually THINK I'm pregnant when I'm not even dating anyone?" I looked at him with a are-you-seriously-stupid face. "And you KNOW how I hated that so-called passionate sexual intercourse most disgusting couples do nowadays. That's just EW and GROSS!" I made a face in front of him because it is TRUE. Oranges are even more wondrous than sex – sex is just being awkward the next day you both met, especially when it's your first time doing it and that you're both not drunk when you've done it. But I don't know exactly how they cope with it because I never done it and never will do it.
He shrugged and let go of my shoulders from his grasps. "Anything can happen. There might be someone who tried to rape you and –"
"Okay, don't talk. Just, shut up," I hissed.
"Seriously, Rin… What's going on?" he asked again, his eyes filled with concern. "You could just talk to me and maybe we could discuss it together."
I sighed. "That's the problem. I don't want to talk about it, especially with you." I crossed my arms and looked away from him. "It's just… really embarrassing and awkward."
"So… it IS about your love life?" He crossed his arms as well but looked deeply into my eyes, making me uncomfortable and reminded me of my awkward dream, again. And the fact he knows me all TOO well until he could guess my problem correctly and easily… Damn him.
I glanced over him and saw him being more serious than he ever will be. "Kind of…" I mumbled softly but loud enough for him to understand what I was saying.
"So who's the guy?" he asked calmly, relieved that the conversation is progressing – from what I thought anyway.
But anyhow, I began to panic once he asked me THAT question. I interrogated myself whether I'd confess the truth or to upset him and refuse or to tell a white lie. My mind started to tangle up into a mix of scrambled thoughts with bacon and oranges on the side because I was hungry at that time, I lose track of the situation and forgot about the meeting for a second.
ONLY for a second.
Len must've noticed my dilemma and guessed on my problem. "You're not lesbian right? Because I can't keep in touch with you nowadays and you could have a thing with girls now and–"
My thoughts immediately erased themselves. That completely took me off guard and I glared at him again. Lesbian? Seriously, Len? And I thought he knew me well… Anyway, I cut him off, again. "Shut up, Len." Once I warned him, he looked down to the floorboards like a puppy that had just been scolded by his master – a cute one at that. If only he had a tail and ears of a pup that time… No, that'd be a bad thing. Crazy girls and boys around the world would probably try to kill him because of his overloaded cuteness.
Blame hormones and puberty.
I sighed again, trying hard not to glomp on his cute puppy face or play with his imaginary puppy ears. "Anyway, yes, I do have a love problem. I think I have a crush on this certain person – I THINK – but I can't seem to… see myself together with that person?" I, kind of, ushered him to continue my sentence – since I didn't know what's wrong with me either, but what the hell.
He closed his eyes, thinking of something. "Let me guess… This person must be the person you'd least suspected?" he guessed correctly – yet again.
"Exactly," I replied, nodding my head.
"Um… Might the person be Hatsune?" He opened his eyes, revealing two innocent blue eyes that didn't help me to NOT feel furious with him. Why did he always contradict himself from the fact that he knows me like I was his own mirror image and that he could spot every little nook and cranny of my figure and probably make a list of all the differences between yesterday and today? Seriously, he's just as stupid as I am and HE'S supposed to be the smart one! So much for being number one in our grade… pssh.
I know he's being oblivious to my inner feelings because he's not me but come on.
I glared at him, ugh, AGAIN and furiously NO'ed him with a simple "Fuck NO."
He lifted with hands to his head in a sign of peace. "Okay, fine. I was just guessing," he said.
I sighed again (why do I keep on sighing?) and said to him, "Obviously, Hatsune is NOT inside my 'List of Like-able People', so – Wait, speaking of Miku… Did you tell anything about this meeting to her?" and I asked him.
"No?" he, somewhat, answered.
I was really confused and shocked and frightened at Miku now, I don't even. "But… How come she knew about this meeting, then…?" I unconsciously asked him (but I still knew that I asked him… What? You don't understand? Ugh, screw logic. Deal with it).
"Well, uh… the last thing I saw when I came here was a white cat. THEN she called me about the date thing," he explained.
"A… A white cat?" I stuttered, my eyes widened as I remembered the white cat that I had mentioned earlier. And from the corner of my eyes, I could see that the cat was knocking softly against the windowpane, meowing from outside. And from that point, I realised that the cat was following me; or should I say, ahem, stalking me.
Anyway, Len nodded. "It was climbing up a nearby tree near to your bedroom window. I think it was looking at something while I entered your room…" His words trailed off as he noticed his mistake and boy, was he actually really mistaken to speak those words to me. Though, he was lucky that I didn't try to kill him like last time…
…
…
Whoops! That's a slip off my tongue! Ignore that, please. That was unnecessary. Ha ha ha ha…
Annnywaaay…
"WHAT?! You freaking entered my room?! You know my room is off-limits! You can only enter when you're with me!" I shrilled at him, hurting his ears from the way he flinched.
"I was making sure whether you're home or not!" he defended himself.
"And what? You just casually unlocked the front door and not knocking on it first? Not even a greeting?!" I questioned him, fuming mad. I could just picture myself breathing out fire through my nostrils like a mad fire dragon at that time…
Hey! Don't question me! My room is my privacy. No one shalt enter my room without having my supervision on what they're doing inside my room. Who knows? They might ravish out my diary or my secret stash of secret things in my secret compartment in a secret corner of my pile of clothes which was secretly purposely piled up to hide my secret…
Nope. I said far enough.
So, he said, "I knocked but no one answered! I guessed you were sleeping, that's why I entered your room!"
And I said, "And not knocking instead?!"
"The past is the past. I only came here to ask about your problem!" He changed the topic.
"Well, screw that! You're the problem around here!" And I as well.
And you know what? Screw narrating. Len and I were just shouting at each other's faces so we could explore each other's secret which failed horribly. But being the kind-hearted human being I am (hah, nope), I'll just say out the dialogues and YOU figure out who said which. I'll only add compulsory narrative (which I'd probably be too lazy to add in). And so, the story CONNTINUUUES.
Len asked, bewildered, "Why am I the problem?!"
"Because you are the very reason my mind is screwed up!"
"I didn't even do anything wrong!"
"Maybe it's because since Miku started hanging out with you I've become like this!"
"What's Hatsune supposed to do with this mess?"
"Because you like her!"
"I LIKED her! That was a long time ago! I've moved on now!"
"Well, you know WHAT – Wait… You've moved on?"
"Yes, I like someone else now. Well, actually, I liked this person for quite a while now, even before I met Hatsune!"
"And you never mentioned anything about her to me? Well that's just freaking GREAT!"
"It's not who you might think she is! She's –"
"She's someone I don't know, right? Great! I might've already set her up with you if you told me sooner!"
"She's my freaking fiancée!"
"You have a fiancée?!"
"You don't know? Shouldn't your parents already tell you already?!"
"No one ever told me ANYTHING about her!"
"Rin-"
"Just tell me who she is already so we could get this over with…"
"She's – she's – Uh… YOU might as well tell ME who you like, then!" Len pointed an accusing finger at me, much to my liking.
"UGH. Len, you just HAVE to make things complicated, do you?" I moaned. Since he has a freaking fiancée that I never knew she even existed, there'd be NO point in telling him I think I like him. I mean, wouldn't it be awkward when I DO said it? Then we'll be like 'Oh, um, really? I've never thought that you'd, me… yeah…' and 'Yeah, um, I'm sorry that… I, you, you know?' and 'It's okay, it couldn't be helped, right?' and we'd both force out a laugh; a nervous laugh.
And we'll never see each other again until the day we both die…
Screw teenage life.
Anyhow.
"C'mon, Rin… Just tell me and we'll get over it after this, alright?" he politely asked me.
"LEN," I grumbled at him, "Ugh! You better get out before I reveal the devil living inside of me and you KNOW you don't want that, right?"
"Rin, just this once and we'll get over it," he grumbled back. "I'm probably not close with him or unless you're crushing on Kaito – well, that could be a problem…"
"NO." I protested, pushing him towards the door with all my might while Len tried to halt me, but failed.
"Rin, RIN, Rin. Don't be like this, Rin. No, Rin. No! Rin, PLEASE, Rin. I'm sorry! You're NOT in love with Kaito, I get it! He's an idiot with an unhealthy addiction towards ice cream! RIN, stop it, Rin. Rin! RIN!" he continued screaming my name until I pushed him through the door and left him under the cold rain; his clothes and hair immediately drenched.
I smiled sweetly at him, "Goodbye," and I closed the door in his shocked face.
So that was how our meeting ended – with narrative. Somewhat, fairly, to some degree, meh. But well, truthfully, that was… not ENTIRELY how it went but yeah, the ending was still the same so no worries about the changes I made. And about Len's fiancée; I didn't make that one up. It's true. Unbelievably true. It's, like, the engagement thing was pulled fresh out from the usual shoujo manga plot and was randomly thrown by a cruel author on top of a random person's head, and that random person would be, unfortunately, Len.
You can go ask my parents if you wanted more proof because I surely didn't ask them. Hahaha… If I asked them, they'd be "Why are you asking, sweetie?" and I'd shift my eyes around nervously and replied, "Oh! Nothing! Nothing… Len just said that to me this morning and I-hi-yai… Nothing. Sorry for bothering you guys. Ahem. I'll be in my room if you need me," and I whooshed off to my bedroom, wrapping myself up inside my blanket and pretended to be a cocoon, hoping I'd be a beautiful grown-up woman with freedom when I wake up. Better yet, I became a butterfly…
…
What? Don't look at me like that! I'm telling the truth! I didn't make anything up! Len really did say he has a fiancée! I may have cut out some unnecessary things from the meeting but I surely didn't make anything up!
So what if I cut out the part where I somehow confessed to him in a secretive kind of way? He may not even caught the millions small, tiny, microscopic hints I gave him! And that all the small, tiny, microscopic hints were all curled up into a small ball that looked like a kiss on the cheek, yeah, he probably thought it was just an apologetic best friend kiss.
What? Yes, I indeed kissed him on the cheek. So what? It was only a few seconds and it's not like I kissed him on the LIPS. Ha hah ha! NO WAY, mi amigo. NO FREAKING WAY.
Newsflash; I am his BEST FRIEND, nothing more nothing less, m'kay?
You should be grateful that I didn't get too distracted while I was story-telling. Believe me – I ALMOST told you another tale that might've made my brain do a marathon and I'd end up telling you stuff that doesn't have any meaning to it. Like when I said I tried killing him when he entered my room without my permission the last time. Yeah, that one was VERY tempting to be told to you. Buuuuut since I AM trying to distract myself from coming home today so I wouldn't have to see Len's face who's currently hanging out with my parents because my parents wanted a friendly conversation with their 'beloved unrelated son', I might as well just tell you this story.
Right, so it first happened when I was in the shower –
…
On another thought, maybe I won't tell you that event. It's got, um… Something, uh… that I don't want anyone to hear because it might drop my whole life's dignity, sorry.
Now that I think about it, Len could be joking about his fiancée… I mean, paranoia loves me and I could of just being paranoid over this thing this whole time. Yes! Think logically and positively, Rin, and you'll be better in no time! Alright, Len's just joking with me because he's trying to lighten up the mood and he's just worried about me because I'm being the idiotic person I am and because he's my only best friend that I could trust and because he loves me and I should appreciate the love he gave me because I also love him – NO. NEJ. Bad Rin, BAD Rin. Stop thinking bad thoughts, stupid thoughts, thoughts that are so stupidly bad you actually like them…
…
I wish bad luck would slap me right now, or maybe life… Yeah, life would be more painful than bad luck, or truth/reality, or human feelings such as guilt and sadness and loneliness…
I'm such a sad human being.
Ow!
…
Something just hit me.
I don't know what it is but it hurts.
Wow! Heh. I don't know that I could summon 'something' to actually accomplish my commands. That… That 'thing' just literally slapped me in the face and I – No, who am I kidding. I am a sad, sad human being; I don't deserve to be living in this world. Eueueueueh…. Screw that! I have so much to live for! But… Uh, but! Guh… Ugh! I'm so complicated! Damn you, teenage quandaries! I'm never going to sort out my life in the near future…
You know what I always wanted? I wish for a day that I actually won't do anything at all – just absolutely NOTHING – but just breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, lying on my bed, surfing the Internet, singing 'Lazy Song' like a retard and smiling all day LONG. Like, there'll be no homework or chores to do, no one to argue with, no plans made for the day, no thoughts on what's happening or what's GOING to happen, no worries or cares – just absolute BLISS… JUST for a DAY, like, only ONE day and that's it. People should consider that. The world would probably be a better place. Probably. Well, at least there won't be wars all over the world; that would be something…
Yeah, happy thoughts, Rin; explore your happy place…
…
You know what's the most violent thing I ever thought of when I'm frustrated at someone? I was, like, glaring at the person because she just criticized my clothes (because I have no fashion sense at all) and my mind was like, 'I wish I could just fucking kill you right this second! I'd hit on the back of your knees with a knife so HARD until you couldn't run away from me and let the blood ooze out and I'd tie you up to a chair very, VERY tightly with a steel rope and then I'd hit your head thirteen times with a spikey bat! I'd tear of the skin on your pretty little face and pour the most acidic chemical I could find on the rest of your body and THROW your skinless body to the wild dogs and let them feed on you. Once they ate you to the very last drop of blood, I'd pick up your bones and dump them inside the incinerator and burn you up like you'd do in HELL! UGHHH' and then I mentally slapped myself and I mumbled, "WTF did I just thought of?" and I realised I have a sadistic side inside of me.
And since that day, I planned on taking over the world…
Did I make you feel uncomfortable? I'm sorry… I'm just really emotionally frustrated and I've never really considered in taking counselling or therapy and all those knick knacks so I could handle my emotions better. But that's just teenage life for you! Life is full of challenges that could even make you mentally murderous or suicidal. But you just have to carry own your way and wind down yourself within your dreams' winds like you're a free green leaf.
Hah… All of these talking made me realise that I'm getting crazier and crazier each passing minute and second. Not just crazy… I'm problematic. No. I'm crazy because I'm problematic. Yeah. Like that, I guess…
Conundrum.
WhUt?
Wait, what?
…
Yup. I am officially declaring myself as crazy. Did you just hear my voice becoming derpy that time? Yeah? No? Okay. I think I've been talking for more than five thousand words now, or maybe at least five thousand… Maybe. I don't know. I'm just assuming… Maybe I'm just really close to…
Yes.
There. Right there.
It's five thousand and nine now.
Yes!
…
WHAT am I talking about?! God, I'm losing my mind already! I should clear my head for a moment with some music… Let's see… There are lots of Len's songs in my iPod and I don't know where it even came from… And also Miku's, and Megurine-san's, Gumi-chan's, Kaito-senpai, Meiko-senpai… Who the heck are Gakupo and ZOLA? Why is Ia-chan's name in capital letters? It does make it look cool, though… Yuzuki-san's in here too… Where did I get ALL of these songs from?! And they're all inside a playlist named 'VOCALOID'… Now, what the heck is that? VOCALOID? I… I don't even…
What is this crap?
What? You're a fan of VOCALOIDs? Really? So now you're saying you're admiring all of my friends, enemies, strangers and acquaintances and have heard all of these thousands of songs? I can't believe my iPod can even support all of this! They're practically drowning the other poor songs with just the name 'VOCALOID'… Oh, sorry, did I… kind of offended you? Really? I-I'm sorry – I should've had insulted these…
You know what? These songs are actually kind of good… It has decent lyrics and not just those 'sex and the city' type of songs and… I take it back.
Really, Len?
Spice?
Are you kidding me?
Well, at least he actually sounds… sexy… and rape-able – Oh wait, WHAT DID I JUST SAY OMG
Rebooting the story/
Error!
Error!
Cannot end re: story-telling in the rain with a good ending because I fucking messed it up
Aira is a horrible person for not planning the story thoroughly
Ugh. I'm so ashamed.
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A/N: Please don't kill me…