1st annual General Hospital Man draft for charity
Coleman set the second bottle of tequila in front of the group of women. He took them in; the original group-Liz Webber, Robin Scorpio-Drake, Lainie Winters, Kelly Lee. Recently joined by Nadine Crowell, Leyla Mir in tow. Add to the count One Mrs. (soon to be ex) Jax, Carly and her new BFF Olivia Falconeri. It was looking to be a lively evening.
"What brings you lovely ladies out tonight? Just looking for a bit a hard drinkin'?"
Liz popped her head up and answered.
"Because the men of Port Charles are bitches!"
There were rounds of 'Yeah!' and 'Hell Yeah!'.
Carly added to Liz's point.
"While we sat in our homes, the men of this town are out doing their broody man-shit. And I for one am tired of it. Ladies?"
There were more 'Yeah's' and Hell Yeah's'.
"I think the men of this town need attitude adjustments," Robin threw in.
"Tell 'im girl," Liz said, sucking down another shot of tequila.
"Like, Patrick thinks I'm suffering from post-partum just because I don't want to have sex… Maybe I just don't want to have sex, it's not like I got my figure back…"
"Shut up and have another shot, skinny bitch," Liz said, laughing.
"I have not been laid in a year and a half! I think that's getting the addiction under control. I need to get banged!" Kelly said, feeling the tequila.
Coleman raised an eyebrow, Kelly's drunken self, however, did not notice.
"Preach it sister," Olivia said, licking the salt, slamming the shot and sticking the lime slice in her mouth. She made a face and blew out her breath. "Last time I got the pipes cleaned… was like 5 years ago."
"I got you beat, my man runs fire hot and arctic cold. One minute it's 'drop the panties' the next it's 'I want a divorce'. I have to say, the men of PC are bitches."
Liz's head popped up.
"Did hell just freeze over or did Carly agree with me? 'Cause I kinda figured hell would freeze over first."
The women laughed.
Leyla, pink in the cheeks, chose that moment to interject.
"You want to teach the men of PC a lesson? 'Cause I have an idea… On my weekend off, I was watching a marathon of my favorite show 'One Shrub Drive'… And all the girls did this… Fantasy boy draft…"
Carly perked up.
"Like in Football?"
"Yeah," Leyla said. "They got numbers, picked guys and had the one they wanted. Of course, it was a soap, so it didn't go perfect… But the idea, I think, is good."
Carly nodded, so did some of the other women.
Robin, however, held out.
"What is the point of this? It's not making much sense to me…" she said.
"Shut up," Liz said, laughing. "You're drunk."
Robin bumped Liz with her shoulder.
Carly's eyes glittered.
"No, I totally see it…" she said. "We all pick a guy and take him out. Let's objectify the men of Port Charles and we'll do it in the name of charity."
"She's been trying to figure out a theme for her charity event," Olivia said, easing off the tequila.
"The one for Michael?" Liz asked quietly.
Carly looked proud.
"The 1st Annual Port Charles Man Draft Benefit for the Michael Corinthos III Pediatric Head Trauma Unit. That'll do, they can't say no to charity…"
"You're serious? You're married…" Robin said.
"So, are you. But Jax's name is still getting thrown in the hat. It's a date-type thing, not a sex thing." She looked over at Kelly. "Or whatever you want… Whatever you want to do on your date."
Kelly smiled.
"Okay," Robin said, "I guess I can toss Patrick's name in the hat in the name of charity… But no funny business. I want him back they way I sent him!"
Carly stood up and grabbed her purse.
"This is a great idea! I'm gonna sober up, work this out and make some calls. By next week I'll have a plan." She turned to Olivia. "You want a ride, got the driver waiting out front…"
"I think I will, I don't know if I can hang out with these hard drinkin' women…" Olivia said, lifting her purse onto her shoulder.
"Light-weight," Liz called as the women left.
Olivia just smiled and waved her goodbyes.
Nadine turned to Robin.
"Do you really think she's gonna do a Man Draft?"
Robin smiled.
"I know you're new, but if Carly wants something done, she gets it done. One way or the other…"
"Well, I hope I haven't caused too much trouble…" Leyla mumbled as she stumbled towards the ladies room. Nadine caught up with her and gave her a hand.
"If I have to hold your hair back, it might test the bonds of our friendship," Nadine said.
________
Jax opened the door to Carly's office.
"'Charity Man Draft'?" he asked, settling in the chair opposite her.
"How…" she started. "Coleman! I totally forgot there was testosterone in the room…"
"Yes, Coleman let me know about your little plan. And what makes you think any man in town will agree to this-"
"Well, if any man in this town wants to get laid again, I can see them agreeing. It's not like I'm setting up a cathouse…. I mean a doghouse. It is for charity, not just for the personal gratification of the women of Port Charles. That's just a bonus." He continued to look questioning. "There are rules, you have to be nominated, and honestly, Jax, I don't see you making it anyway."
He looked affronted.
"What? First, you think it's objectionable, now you're miffed you may not be considered?"
Jax opened his mouth.
"Don't worry about it, there will be a letter out to all nominated men. All the rules will be in it. You might get one." She took a deep breath. "Now… I'm busy, so…"
Jax blinked.
"That was a hint," Carly said, motioning to the door.
Jax got up and left, the look of wonder still on his face.
_________
Ladies of Port Charles: You are cordially invited to
the 1st Annual Port Charles Man Draft Benefit for the Michael Corinthos III Pediatric Head Trauma Unit
At the Metro Court Ballroom, February 25th 2009
Draft Candidates must have a least five desirable qualities and two nominations. The men then have to match the amount of their draft picker's donation.
1. To become a Drafter the lady has to make a donation of 5,000 to a 100,000 dollars to pediatric head traumas unit.
2. 5,000 will get you a date with your draft pick and that date will end with a kiss. Air, friendly or something more, up to you and your Draft Pick.
3. 10,000 - 50,000 will get you 3 dates with the activity of your choice.
4. 50,000-100,000 will get you 5 themed dates.
5. Over 100,000 will get you a 3 day weekend to the destination of you choice anywhere in the United States.
If your are unhappy with your draft pick you can swap but again all participants must be in agreement. You can't sell your draft number, attempting to do so will get you disqualified from the draft and your number put back in to the hat.
First meeting to discuss Draft Picks will be February 3rd in Conference Room B at the Metro Court. Come prepared, ladies. Let's Draft a man for charity!
Carly Corinthos Jax
_________
Almost all the women of Port Charles gathered in Conference Room B, sipping champagne cocktails and enjoying delectable nibbles while waiting for the event coordinator, Mrs. Jax.
Some of the women began to speculate.
"So, who are you nominating?" Leyla asked Nadine.
Before she could answer, there was an outburst at the entrance.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Maxi Jones shouted.
Lulu managed not to blush but couldn't keep the waver out of her voice.
"I'm a woman and I live in Port Charles, I was invited."
"Yeah, but it's not like you have $5000, you just had to borrow money off of your cousin to pay the rent," Maxi shot back.
Robin took the initiative.
"Keep it friendly, ladies." she said as Carly walked in with her assistant.
"Besides," Carly said, "No one said it had to be your money. Doesn't matter who donates the money as long as the check clears."
Carly got everyone's attention and began the meeting.
"So, here we go. We'll start nominating men for the draft, and like I said in the invite, they need 5 good qualities and a second on the nomination. Who wants to start?"
Maxi's hand shot into the air.
"I nominate my best friend, one Damien 'the Jackal' Spinelli."
Carly grinned.
"Seconded," Leyla said quickly.
"And his desirable qualities…" Carly continued.
"Easy," Maxi said, "He's super smart, sweet-"
"Charming, witty and adorable," Leyla finished.
"Good," Carly said. "Next?"
As the night wore on the stats were as follows:
Nominated by Maxi and Leyla : Damien Spinelli- smart, adorable, affectionate, charming, witty.
By Lulu and Claudia : Johnny Zacchara- Nice body, good hair, nice voice, cute, musical
By Liz, Carly and many others : Jason Morgan- Smoke hot body, strikingly blue eyes, mysterious, bad boy, Charismatic
By Nadine and Alexis : Nikolas Cassadine- Rich, Prince, genteel, charming, courteous
By Robin and Epiphany : Matt Hunter- Smart, nice hair, quiet, good with kids, attractive
By Claudia and Olivia : Rick Lansing- Not Sonny, nice hair, cute, smart, good with his mouth
(Someone in the back of the room raised a hand.
"Excuse me?" Alexis said. "We're putting Rick friggin' Lansing on the list?"
Carly played mediator.
"Claudia and Olivia came up with five good qualities and that's what you needed to make the list."
"Well," Alexis went on, "I'll make up 5 good qualities about Sonny, get him on the list."
"I agree," Diane said, "since we seem to be letting any douche baggy asshole on the list…"
"We had this argument half an hour ago, ladies. Not one woman can come up with one desirable quality for the man. I was married to him 4 times, and I got nothing."
Olivia perked up.
"And any good qualities he may have are tossed out by the fact that he's an asshole."
"And one of Rick's defining qualities is that he is NOT Sonny," Claudia said, "You have your choice of Mike Corbin or Trevor Lansing's spawn…. Oh, I'm not helping."
"I've never actually had sex with Sonny," Liz said, "but I have been with Rick and will second the 'good with his mouth' qualification."
Robin looked over at her friend.
"I'm going to ask you nicely to lay off the champagne cocktails and eat something…"
"Come on! Alexis, Claudia, Sam? Agree or disagree?"
There was a three count of assent.
"All right," Carly said, "Now that we have established why Rick is on the list, thanks for that Liz, we can move on.)
By Carly and Kate : Jasper Jacks- Rich, tall, blonde, debonair, clever.
By Diane and Carly : Max Giambetti- sweet, charming, protective, lovable, attractive.
By Lulu and Kelly : Milo Giambetti- sweet, charming, protective, lovable, cute.
By Lainie and Diane : Cody Paul- mysterious, bad boy, calm, diligent, gorgeous.
By Tracy and Monica : Mayor Garrett Floyd- power, blue eyed, nice body, amiable, nice hands.
By Monica and Tracy : Mike Corbin- attractive older man, good cook, charming, sweet, helpful
By Alice and Lainie : Cruz Rodriguez- Trustworthy, attractive, dedicated, good dancer, nice body
By Lainie and Epiphany : David Harper- Trustworthy, attractive, dedicated, musical, nice body
By Robin and Liz : Patrick Drake- smart, adventurous, sporty, charming, attractive
By Sam and Maxi : Lucky Spencer- dedicated, attractive, nice body, good with kids, spontaneous
By Maxi and Robin : Mac Scorpio- attractive, earnest, honest, family man, dedicated.
After the noms were done Carly produced a bag.
"I have here a bag full of compacts that hold your Pick number for the Man Draft. My assistant will randomly walk around the room and we'll pick our numbers."
Carly took a seat and her assistant began the number process. At the end the ladies called out their numbers:
Elizabeth Webber, "One."
Carly Jax, "Eight."
Robin Scorpio-Drake, "Nineteen."
Kelly Lee, "Five."
Leyla Mir, "Twelve."
Maxie Jones, "Three."
Lulu Spencer, "Eighteen."
Diana Miller, "Four."
Alexis Davis, "Ten."
Nadine Crowell, "Two."
Claudia Corinthos, "Seventeen."
Sam McCall, "Eleven."
Lainie Winters, "Nine."
Kate Howard, "Sixteen."
Olivia Falconeri, "Seven."
Tracy Quartermaine, "Thirteen."
Monica Quartermaine, "Fifteen."
Alice, "Six."
Epiphany Johnson, "Fourteen."
"Great," Carly said. "Everyone has a number. But I'd like to remind you if you're unhappy with your number…. Robin…. You can trade, but we all have to agree and no money can change hands. Other than that, I will see you in the ballroom on February 25th!"
The meeting broke up and ladies headed for the exit.
"Leyla!" Robin called, moving through the crowd.
The other woman stopped and turned.
"Yes?"
Robin looked down.
"I was hoping you'd trade me numbers so I could pick Patrick before any of these women got any funny ideas…"
Leyla laughed.
"It's just for fun and it's just a number, so sure. But how-"
Robin stopped her.
"I'll handle the permission thing. So, yes?"
"Yes," Leyla said.
TBC