Chapter 1
Say So Long to Innocence
Most people would believe the fairy tale "Little Red Riding Hood" to be a fictional classic, and nothing more than a worn-out book collecting dust on a bookshelf. I could understand why, but what if I told you it was so true that the Big Bad wolf lives inside us all? Well, he honestly does. Have you ever wanted something so badly, that you'd kill for it, or even die for it? The big bad wolf is always something different in everyone. For me, the wolf was more of a puppy that followed me around, constantly barking at me to do what it pleaded.
"Ow! Sister, how much more?" I whimpered past tears. "Just hold still a little while longer. You're doing great!" She gave me an empathetic smile. I knew it was empathy that laced her lips, for she had this same procedure done to her in previous years. A crescent moon sat happily on her right hand. While her hand simply smiled, mine cried and twitched in pain. I had just finished my initiation into the gang I was going into, and a member was carving into my skin while a frightened girl , who had curly, brown hair and eyes, sat next to me, awaiting her turn to be marked. She looked calm on the outside, but her eyes said otherwise.
"Hey, Maddie, it doesn't hurt that bad," I stated. She looked up into my eyes and nodded. We were both 10 at the time. On our first day of training 2 years ago, we were paired up and never left each other's side.
Our elder sisters had kept a secret. A big one. It was Society. This was a gang formed when our parents were still alive. Mami, my sister, was the leader. She decided on what choices and sacrifices we had to make to get our mission done. She also planned out our jobs and made sure everything was secure.
Maddie's sister, Adri, was second in command. She was in charge of getting the tools we needed to get our job done. Madison was heiress to that position, and I was to Mami's.
"There, Love. All done. See? There's not that much blood, either," she flashed a smile at me and went over to Madison to grab something.
She flinched when the now clean knife was brought to the top of her hand. I watched it pierce into her skin as she let out a whine. Both our hands trickled blood onto the floor. The blood we shed was a promise. Whoever joined society, was to give the gang their everything. Blood, heart, and soul.
Mami returned to me with some water and a chunk of gray gauze. She wrapped it around the wound carefully, but snugly. When the blood had been washed away, the scar on my left hand left a perfect moon.
Madison was done not long after me, and I watched Mami clean her hand. "Well, girls," Adri started, "Welcome to Society."
And that's the story of how I- Wait! I was supposed to tell you something important. What was it again? Shoot.
Oh, right! Right! I forgot to tell you why our gang was so important to us. Mami and the rest of us had a teensy, little secret. We weren't all that human. Especially Mami.
~time skip~
I skipped around in the grass by an old, giant oak tree where Mami, my older sister, and I always collected firewood. I plucked dead twigs up off the ground as I moved along. "Key! It's time to go, Love." I shifted my gaze towards her and slightly pouted by puffing out my cheeks. I hesitantly meandered over to her with slow, childish steps, grasping the scratchy firewood I had managed to collect in my scarred hand. The sticks were from pine trees, and the scent of vanilla and strawberries wafted up from them. It was such a shame we had to burn them. Their scent alone could make a whole room smell warm and cozy.
As soon as I reached Mami, I let her pet my long, blonde hair. Her hand was encased in the black gloves she always wore, so her cover would never be blown. I've only seen her without her gloves when she was in the kitchen, but other than that, her hands were always covered in the shadowy fabric.
It was breezy that day, so the wind scruffed up my hair and made it look like I hadn't brushed it in weeks. My hair was just so soft that it could only handle so much ruffling before it become nothing but knots and frizz. I beamed up at her with every drop of happiness I could squeeze out. She chuckled at the monstrosity my hair was and slipped my small hand in hers.
"We have to go back to work now," she sighed while tugging me along. I absolutely hated the bakery where Mami worked. Sure, it always smelt really yummy in there, but I couldn't have anything. It was practically torture. Trust me. If you were only 10, you'd want to stuff your face full of all the goodness that covered the counters and shelves. Mami was allowed to take home leftover bagels from the mornings, but that was it. I do have to admit, the job she had now was about a million times better than what she did at night to keep her and I alive. It wasn't exactly a godly thing you could say.
Her boss, , was always kind to us, though. She sometimes even let us have samples of the sweet treats and other goods she'd make that day.
Mami was very relieved to see that she took a liking to me. I would usually help out by scrubbing dishes, washing windows, or sweeping the crumb-coated floors. There was nothing to do during the day, so I had to either clean, help bake, or sit there bored out of my mind.
We walked past a cluster of vividly colored carnations. My lips twisted into a smile, and I let go of Mami's hand. "Huh?" She looked at me as I knelt down to the patch and picked up 5 different colored flowers. My long-sleeved, white dress billowed at the skirt and tickled my calves as I squatted in the prickly grass.I held the flowers in my free hand as Mami retook the other. We walked back in silence, but I was too happy to break the peace we established.
"Key!" called from the back of the bakery peppily. I could see her scruffy, gray hair pulled up into a messy bun from the back as we entered the bakery. "Come here and tell me if you like this, Cutie."
People who were very close to me would almost never called me by my first name, Key. They didn't see a reason why they would have to, so then why bother? They liked them, and so did I. Mami would always call me Love. That name was my favorite. Nobody else was allowed to call me that, and if they did, she'd probably kick them into next Tuesday.
My sister let go of my bandaged hand and walked over to put her apron on while shuffled up to , taking caution in not bumping into the fiery oven that had burning coals inside. She handed me a frail teaspoon full of a creamy, dark brown substance. "What are you waiting for?" She asked. "Pop it in your mouth."
I obliged and stuck it in, making a 'nom' sound as I closed my mouth around the spoon. A sweet taste spilled onto my tongue and my pupils grew in size from it. "Wow! What is this?" I questioned, looking up at her with my violet orbs.
She grinned proudly, "It's just some chocolate, but there's some fruit preserves in there. Pretty good, hmm?" She slid her hand across my head as she walked over to the oven to pull out some wheat bread that was sprinkled in a variety of grains. After setting it down, she took my spoon and dipped it back into the bowl full of chocolate frosting.
"Here. Go give some to your sister." She turned her head towards the door as the little customer bell jiggled. "Ah, Dr.Jäger! How can I help you?" She waddled over to the counter and helped a man who I didn't recognize. Standing next to him was a boy a couple inches taller than me with fluffy, brown hair and aquamarine eyes.
" , Good to see you," Dr.Jäger greeted, "I was wondering if I could poss-" I stopped listening in on their conversation and handed my sister the tiny spoon.
"What's this, Love?" she poked the spoon between her lips and her eyes popped open, "I really like that, but tell her she should put some salt in there. It'll make the flavor stand out."
I nodded and placed the dirty spoon in the sink. Dr.Jäger continued to converse with as I watched Eren rock back and forth on his feet, obviously bored out of his mind.
"I wish I had someone to play with," I whined, setting my head in my right hand. I almost set it down on my wounded one, but that wouldn't have felt really nice. "Don't worry, Love. Hanji is going to be here soon. The Scouts should be returning in a few hours." I swear Eren's ears perk up after Mami spoke. He began to look antsy and impatient.
"Ok, Mami," I sighed and got up from the little table where I was sitting, looking at the carnations I picked earlier. I forgot I set them there and walked over to the register, grabbing a teal one I picked especially for Mami. I tugged on her dress to make her turn around. When she did, I handed her the flower shakily. "Here, it's for your hair."
She looked like she was about to cry. Her breath hitched and she bent down so I could put the flower in her golden locks. The green stem entangled into her hair, and she stood back up again.
"So that's why you got those flowers," she giggled and grabbed a green carnation, sticking it between two knots of my hair. "Now you can look even prettier." I couldn't stop smiling. Nothing could make my happiness go away. That was until, he came.
"I appreciate this greatly. My wife was running low, and I knew you sold flour that wasn't ridiculously overpriced." Dr.Jäger said as he and his son walked out of the shop after saying their farewells.
Apparently, I didn't realize I was looking at eren when he walked out, and of course my sister had to notice. She leaned towards me and whispered, "Eren's pretty cute, huh?" I scoffed at her, "Ew! What? Boys are gross! No!" I folded my arms across my chest and puffed out a breath of air. All did was snort like a pig and go back to baking.
She called me to the back so I could make myself 'useful'. I watched intently as she taught me how to knead bread dough and measure out yeast. I learned how to bake cookies the other day, which was pretty fun. I always thought working in the bakery might be have the right path, but then Hanji came into my life. She always talked about her studies and battles with the Titans. How they would always be so unpredictable. How they would always slobber on her, and she thought they were giving her kisses. I thought it was amazing. That's not what made me want to enlist in the survey corps though. It was my curiosity. I wanted to know what was outside these blasted walls. What could have been our world without the monsters we called titans.
Members of Society were to carry out another job other than being a member. Mami worked in the bakery, Adri worked as a blacksmith, and others worked various jobs. That's what made us a society. We were all completely different, but we were a team.
A couple hours later, the familiar jingle of the customer bell clinked against the wood of the door, and the sound of combat boots was heard on the floor. I looked away from to see my idol, Hanji. "Mami, good to see you! How're you doing?" She walked over and grabbed Mami in a bear hug.
"Oof! G-good to see you, too. I'd be great if I could breathe," my sister whispered, straining to have just a bubble of air enter her lungs. Hanji always gave the best hugs. They were so tight and warm that you just never wanted her to let go. Unless she was strangling you. They weren't like Mami's though. They were still warm, but Mami didn't try to suffocate you.
"Hanji!" I squealed, skipping over to her. She wrapped me up in her arms and proceeded to squish me, "Aw! How's my little squirt?" I squealed and told us to be quiet. "How about we all go outside? We won't bother over here." Hanji sniggered as glared at her. They weren't exactly on friendly levels. I nodded cheerfully.
As she and Mami both walked outside with their hands holding mine tightly, I got a tingly feeling in my chest. It felt warm and fuzzy. it felt like you were calm and excited all at the same time. What was that feeling called again? Oh, right. Love.
The sun peaked over the giant brick walls of Rose as Mami and Hanji sat down. Meanwhile, I was gawking at Hanji's horse. "Wow! Hanji, you're so cool! You get to ride your horse everyday?" She lifted a finger, "Everyday except the weekends. That's when I get to do other stuff, like mess around with Shorty." I tilted my head to the right, "Who's Shor-" I was interrupted by a large thump on the ground. "Hah?" Everyone bounced off the floor into the air, only to fall right back on their butts.
Hanji quickly contained herself as she stared at the walls, her mouth wide open. "...N-no way. The wall is 100 meters tall. That's incredible." I rubbed the swollen bump on my head that I received from the scare and opened my eyes to see a terrified Mami. She backed away, her heart jumping out of her chest.
A large gust was rushed at us, blowing my white dress violently. The green ribbon tied around my waist fwapped against my skin harshly, ripping around in the wind. Hanji's horse, Ryner, spooked and kicked Mami in her back. A large snap resounded in the air as citizens frantically ran around. She screamed in pain as I ran over to her. "Sister? Sister, are you ok?" Hanji tried to calm Ryner down, yanking on his lead rope. Mami simply laid there, her breathing shallow. A stream of blood trickled from her lips. Tears were coming from her eyes. Alothough Mami did not move, her facial expression cried out in pain for her. She was limp to the touch. I touched her backside, crimson blood covering my fingers. Ryner had managed to kick her so hard, she fell and cut her back open. Since blood spilled from her lips, I assumed Ryner also crushed her lungs, and they were filling with blood.
She lifted my blood-stained finger to my cheek, smearing the gooey substance across it. She looked at peace at what she done. She couldn't speak anymore. She could no longer moving. Mami was at rest.
(Flashback)
"Well when things are in motion, they tend to stay in motion," Hanji explained to me from one of her previous visits. She swung her legs back and forth while I sat next to her. "Then when things are at rest, they tend to stay at rest." I nodded, "So when someone or something dies, that's why they don't wake up or move?" "Mhm! You're so smart!" She ruffled my hair and giggled to herself. I was only 7 at the time, but I was pretty smart. I had no common sense, but could grasp and hold onto information as if it was etched into my brain. "Ahh, I'd so take you on as my apprentice one day. That would truly be wonderful."
(Flashback end)
Mami's eyes glazed over. I shook her lifeless body a little. "Mami? Mami, wake up!" No response. I put my ear to her chest, hearing slow, unstable heartbeats. She was alive. Couldn't we save her? Hanji picked me up and plopped me down on her horse, swinging her leg over behind me. "No, wait! What about Mami?!" I cried. She took off, dodging citizens. Dead and alive.
I heard loud stomping. The ground was shaking below our feet. I looked up to see a large titan with rotten teeth and a crooked smirk approaching us from behind. Hanji easily avoided it, but it wasn't heading for us.I watched it raise a woman in the air and snap her in half. She laid lifelessly in its hands. That woman was Mami.
I couldn't bring myself to look away. "No...stop," my voice resounded in my hand. She was soon gliding her way down the monster's throat, coating herself in the gooey saliva that dribbled out of its mouth.
Hanji galloped out of the walls before they were shut, heading to somewhere outside of Shiganshina. The Garrison easily let her through while others struggled to be let out. Once everyone saw her pine green coat flapping in the wind, they all moved out of the way.
I didn't even realize I was crying. Mami was surely dead. Hanji was holding me down onto the saddle. My head was throbbing. We kept going like that until we reached a large castle over an hour away. Ryner huffed and puffed, and so did she. Her face plastered with uncertainty and was hinted with exhaustion. It was the first time I'd actually ever seen Hanji scared before.
She stopped her horse and sat there for a moment before burying her face into my tossled hair and going into hysterics. "I-I'm so sorry, Key!" she stuttered, "I couldn't save her! I couldn't save Mami!" She rocked me back in forth in her tight embrace. "I didn't mean for Ryner to freak out like that. He just got scared and...and I couldn't stop him. I'm such a bad soldier!"
Just hearing Hanji cry was enough to make my heart wrench. Before I knew it, I turned around in the saddle to hold Hanji. While her and I both cried, our noses runny and our eyes red and puffy, I rubbed her back soothingly. "I-it's *sniff* alright," I whispered, my voice cracking as I felt Hanji's breathing slow down. Her heart remained quick and steady, assuring me that she was alive and ok. But Mami wasn't. Mami was inside a beast's stomach, boiling in its acids.
She composed herself again, her eyes swollen from her scene. Nobody ever deserved to be sad and cry. Hanji definably didn't deserve it either. She was always so happy and cheerful. She shouldn't have had to seen Mami die, or rather hear it. Her body still and unmoving. Her heart dead and her empty shell of a body that no longer contained a conscience. A soul.
She wiped her clammy hands on her pants, brushing against her straps that hugged her thighs. She dismounted Ryner, and I followed suit. She gripped my hand securely for balance. I wasn't sure if it was to help me more than Hanji. I felt like if I let go, she'd just burst into tears again, and I would do anything to keep that from happening.
"What the hell is this?" A man with raven hair stared blankly at the sight of Hanji and I. She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "Well, this is Mami Crescent's sister, Key. You've heard the news about the wall, correct? They started evacuating citizens onto boats, and I couldn't bring myself to put her on one. Corporal, I had to take her with me. I had to make sure she didn't die." Her voice never wavered, but it was flat. Dead. No emotion showed in it. It was...scary. No. Terrifying.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Ugh...so you bring her here? At a time like this? What the fuck is your problem?" She smiled slightly. That was the Hanji I knew, and squeezed her hand. She looked down at me.
"I consider her one of my best friends, Levi. Plus, I already had arrangements for her to come here. Don't you remember? 3 months ago I proposed she come and study here." Levi looked at her and sighed heavily, "Yea I do. Erwin said yes to the apprenticeship thing you had in mind, but only because she has potential." He turned to look at me and grimaced, "Just make sure that thing stays out if my sight. Always."
With that, he left the room in a hurry, strapping on large, metal boxes to his hips and stormed outside. I could see from the stable that he struggled to mount his horse, but once hecwas on, he was gone in an instant.
Hanji calmly walked down a large hallway filled with doors, gripping my hand tightly as if she were the one going to lose balance. She creaked a squeeky door open and looked around. "Here we are, Kiddo...Your new home."
Ryner huffed and puffed, and so did she. Her face plastered with uncertainty and was hinted with exhaustion. It was the first time I'd actually ever seen Hanji scared before.
She stopped her horse and sat there for a moment before burying her face into my tossled hair and going into hysterics. "I-I'm so sorry, Key!" she stuttered, "I couldn't save her! I couldn't save Mami!" She rocked me back in forth in her tight embrace. "I didn't mean for Ryner to freak out like that. He just got scared and...and I couldn't stop him. I'm such a bad soldier!"
Just hearing Hanji cry was enough to make my heart wrench. Before I knew it, I turned around in the saddle to hold Hanji. While her and I both cried, our noses runny and our eyes red and puffy, I rubbed her back soothingly. "I-it's *sniff* alright," I whispered, my voice cracking as I felt Hanji's breathing slow down. Her heart remained quick and steady, assuring me that she was alive and ok. But Mami wasn't. Mami was inside a beast's stomach, boiling in its acids.
She composed herself again, her eyes swollen from her scene. Nobody ever deserved to be sad and cry. Hanji definably didn't deserve it either. She was always so happy and cheerful. She shouldn't have had to seen Mami die, or rather hear it. Her body still and unmoving. Her heart dead and her empty shell of a body that no longer contained a conscience. A soul.
She wiped her clammy hands on her pants, brushing against her straps that hugged her thighs. She dismounted Ryner, and I followed suit. She gripped my hand securely for balance. I wasn't sure if it was to help me more than Hanji. I felt like if I let go, she'd just burst into tears again, and I would do anything to keep that from happening.
"What the hell is this?" A man with raven hair stared blankly at the sight of Hanji and I. She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "Well, this is Mami Crescent's sister, Key. You've heard the news about the wall, correct? They started evacuating citizens onto boats, and I couldn't bring myself to put her on one. Corporal, I had to take her with me. I had to make sure she didn't die." Her voice never wavered, but it was flat. Dead. No emotion showed in it. It was...scary. No. Terrifying.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Ugh...so you bring her here? At a time like this? What the fuck is your problem?" She smiled slightly. That was the Hanji I knew, and squeezed her hand. She looked down at me.
"I consider her one of my best friends, Levi. Plus, I already had arrangements for her to come here. Don't you remember? 3 months ago I proposed she come and study here." Levi looked at her and sighed heavily, "Yea I do. Erwin said yes to the apprenticeship thing you had in mind, but only because she has potential." He turned to look at me and grimaced, "Just make sure that 'thing' stays out if my sight. Always."
With that, he left the room in a hurry, strapping on large, metal boxes to his hips and stormed outside. I could see from the window, despite my poor stature, that he struggled to mount his horse, but once he was on, he was gone in an instant.
Hanji calmly walked down a large hallway filled with doors, gripping my hand tightly as if she were the one going to lose balance. She creaked a squeaky door open and looked around. "Here we are, Kiddo...Your new home.