Hey, I was bored so I asked my friend iluvmarauders (check her songfic out it's really sad!) to give me a writer's challenge.

The rules:

This fic must have cho chang

Who falls in love with a tree and won't leave its side

Dudley falls in love wif uh...any MAN of ur choice

Harry jumps into the lake

Ron is laughing hysterically

Hermione kills crookshanks

A choir of angels start screeching and windows break

U have to weave all the ideas 2gether

Voldie gets drunk

Snape goes round carrying a broom

And a horde of pink flying pigs come and attack Hogwarts

Draco is resorted into Hufflepuff

A basilisk appears

Fred & George get top level NEWTS

And Hogwarts is destroyed

*********

(A/N: Here goes …)

The Day When Things That Would Not Normally Occur, Did by BluePrint

One day, Dudley was walking in King's Cross Station. He absent-mindedly walked into Platform 9 ¾. He was thinking of his one true love … Ricky Martin. Oh, Ricky … the way his eyes twinkle in the moonlight …*sigh*. Without knowing, he got on the Hogwarts Express. Poor guy … but we won't care about him anymore …

*Meanwhile at Hogwarts*

            "Oh, my love, with bark as rough as, er, strawberries … leaves as green as Crayola's green crayons …" Cho Chang said to the tree near the lake. That's right. Cho is in love with a tree. Just then, Harry came out from the forest running. He runs to Cho.

            "Cho! You have to help me!!! A swarm of bees are after me!!" he tries to pull Cho who is hugging Leafy the Tree.

            "No! Leafy and I are in love and I will NEVER leave his side!" Cho said defiantly. Harry blinked at her. Then he heard buzzing sounds coming from the forest. He quickly runs and jumps into the lake.

            Ron who was watching all this started laughing hysterically.

            "HaHa! The boy who lived! Scared of bees!!! HaHa!!!" he said between laughs.

*Meanwhile in the Great Hall*

            Dumbledore is preparing a choir of angels for a concert during Christmas.

            "End with the Christmas chorus I paid Snape to teach you then fly away so we can feast in peace, got it?" The angels nodded.

            "I don't see why you can't just let *me* sing the chorus, Dumbledore," Snape said fingering the broom in his hands. "I wrote it after all."

            At a table nearby, Draco and Hermione were chatting.

            "Okay, okay, so what you're really saying here, Hermione, is, the Goblin Rebellion was actually caused by House-Elves trying to free themselves and the goblins got pissed and unleashed such terror on them and that's why House-Elves never want to be liberated?"

            "Precisely!"

            Ron walked into the Great Hall clutching his stomach. Still laughing. "Potter … in the lake … haha!" He sat beside Draco and Hermione. Fred and George stormed into the Great Hall holding parchments in their hands.

            "Guess what?!" Fred said to Hermione, Draco and Ron. "We both got top-level NEWTS!!!!" he said shaking the parchments in front of them.

            Draco, Hermione and Ron stared at the twins. Then Ron broke into hysterical laughter followed by Draco and Hermione.

            After ten minutes of hysterical laughter, Hermione said, "Yeah, if you *really* got top-level NEWTS, I'd … I'd … … I'd kill Crookshanks!" Crookshanks meowed suspiciously from the next table.

            Draco said, "Weasleys, the day you both get top-level NEWTS would be the day I get sorted into Hufflepuff!" He laughed some more.

            Hermione, Fred and George (Ron was still laughing hysterically) looked at each other when Draco said that. They stared at the floor. Draco was laughing so hard that he stepped on Snape's broom.

            "Malfoy! 50 points from you!" Snape boomed furiously. He quickly smoothed out the tail of his broom. Draco stopped laughing.

            "But Professor, you can't take points from me, you favour Slytherin, remember?" Draco said to Snape.

            "Of course, I do, but didn't you hear Malfoy?" Snape leered. "You've been resorted into Hufflepuff. Your father wasn't too happy with his son hating Muggles so he thought if you were resorted-"

            "B-but!" Draco protested. But then he accepted his fate. "Oh, well, I always thought Sprout was kinda cute."

            Hermione was worried. "If Malfoy got sorted into Hufflepuff, that means, Fred and George really got top-level NEWTS! Which means, …" she turned to Crookshanks. She pulled her wand out, "I'm sorry Crookshanks. AVADA KEDAVRA!" Crookshanks dropped dead but not before meowing out really really loud.

            The choir of angels turned their heads to the noise. Loud noises pissed them off and they started screeching. They screeched really loudly till all the windows broke and so did Professor Trelawney's glasses, which poked into her eyes and she went blind. But who cares about that fraud? What we care about now is what happens in the second floor staff toilet. The screeching made the mirrors in the toilet break and out came a basilisk. It slithered outside towards Hagrid's hut where Lord Voldie just came out holding a bottle of vodka.

            You guessed it. He was drunk.

            Harry just got himself out of the lake. Voldie walked towards him.

            "Hey, you're –hic- Harry –hic- Potter, aren't you? –hic-" he asked. Harry nodded.

            "And you're Lord Voldie. You tried to kill me the past four years," Harry said. Voldie nodded. Then, Voldie heard numerous grunting and oinking coming from somewhere above the forest. He turned to look. To his horror, he saw a horde of pink flying pigs coming to attack Hogwarts.

            "Harry! –hic- There's a horde of pink –hic- flying pigs coming to –hic- attack Hog–hic-warts!" Voldie tried his best to warn Harry who was looking the other way.

            "Oh, no, you don't Voldemort! You can't fool me with that same trick … again! I'm not gonna fall for that again … phbbt!"

            Voldie saw Cho still hugging Leafy the Tree. He tried to save her. He pulled her hand, "C'mon little girl, -hic- there's a horde of pink flying pigs coming to attack Hogwarts! -hic- we'd better ditch!"

            But Cho didn't budge from hugging Leafy. "Then let it be, evil Dark Lord. Me and Leafy can fight it. We'll fight it with the power of LOVE!"

            "Just like Harry –hic- did to –hic- Professor Quirrel?" Voldie asked. Cho nodded. A tear streamed down the fearless Dark Lord's eyes. "That always brings a tear to my eye. -hic-" He gulped down the rest of his vodka, threw the bottle away and saw the basilisk. He patted its head. Ron came running out of the castle … laughing hysterically. Voldie tried to tell him about the horde of pink flying pigs coming to attack Hogwarts but Ron just laughed even more.

            Snape came out holding his broom. He was furious because Dumbledore ordered him to sweep up all the broken glass with his broom – without using magic. He saw Voldie. He stood dumbfounded. He ran over to the Dark Lord.

            "Voldemort!!!" Snape shouted out furiously.

            "Oh, -hic- hey Snappy!" Voldie answered.

            "You're drunk!" Snape said.

            "Yea, that was –hic- some vodka."
            "You got pissed without inviting me, Voldie! We made a pact!" Snape said frantically shaking his broom about and knocking Harry and Ron out. Just then the horde of pink flying pigs coming to attack Hogwarts let out their droppings onto Hogwarts. Hogwarts was destroyed. Snape, Voldie and the basilisk watched with blank looks.

            Then Snape said, "Hey, uh, now with Dumbledore gone, I guess I can become a Death Eater again. How about it, Master?"

            Voldie considered then said, "Sure, Snappy!" He, Snape and the basilisk went onto Snape's broomstick and took off. "We still have to –hic- kill that Potter –hic- kid, though."

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I had fun writing that. I'm not bored now. :) Review if you like.