A/N: This story does include racial and political overtones... Please be aware.
I don't own anyone or anything to do with Criminal Minds.
Derek would never admit this to anyone, but he really hated the south. It was something about the underbelly of Southern Gentile society that irked his ever lasting soul. He understood that everyone had rules and guidelines that they had to abide by, but the lines, the invisbile ones that it seemed that no one noticed, pissed him off. And further more, he was even more irritated that they had to fly into Rain, Mississippi to help solve a case on fairly obvious hate crimes. Never in his life did he imagine that he would be privy to see the aftermath of a lynching and after seeing the body of seventeen year old, Lincoln Maxwell hanging from the only tree in front of Jefferson Davis senior high school, he was sick with it.
Derek knew that he couldn't allow himself to become emotionally involved, but one look at Lincoln's parents, a mixed couple, a white mother and a black father, Derek officially knew that this would be the beginning of a long, ugly road. That morning when the team entered the Rain police department all eyes were on them, specifically on Derek. It was clear that they had been surprised by his presence, it was the first indicator that this case was going to be long.
Derek watched as they cut the body of Lincoln Maxwell down. The high-school senior who was ten days away from graduating, had an academic scholarship to Michigan Technological University, he was a Millenium Gates Scholar a member of the National Honor Society, had his picture inserted in that years Who's Who Among High School Students. He was class president, listed as class Renaissance Man in the mock elections and was Prom King. He had plans to become a Biomedical Engineer, specializing in biomechanics, his goal was to build prosthesis for children in third world countries. He had potential, plenty of it, but his greateness would never be felt. His life had ended and no one one knew why.
Lincoln Maxwell was victim number seven, found in the past month in Rain, Mississippi. All graduating seniors, from mixed families, within the tri-city area of Rain, McCallister and Strawberry. All were honor students, all of them lived in homes with both parents, married. All of them of there were their parents oldest children. All of them had one parent from the area, the mother, who just so happened to be white and last but not least all of them were male.
With arms folded an expressionless Derek Morgan watched as Lincoln Maxwell's body was carried past the school, past the yellow rope where his parents were standing, to the coroner's van. They lifted the sandy blonde haired young man into the awaiting van and Derek turned to walk away, but not before he met Harrison Maxwell's gaze. It was a quick glimpse, but it was more than enough for Derek to understand. Harrison Maxwell, wordlessly begged Derek Morgan to find his son's killer and with a nod of his head, Derek had readily agreed.
It took six days. Six days to find the cruel son of a bitch, that had hung seven young men, for no absolute reason at all, but for the color of their skin and who the were born to and the part that pissed Derek off the most was that he couldn't bring himself to bash the bastards head in. Oh, he wanted to, that wasn't the problem, the problem was that he couldn't allow himself to be like that sick bastard. Oh no, he had to have a fucking moral conscious. And his moral conscious was currently conflicted with the anger that had seeped down into his very soul.
Everytime that anger arose in him, he had the same damn, sorry routine. He'd buy a case of beer, sit on his back porch and drink his sorrows away. And it worked for a long time, too. Well, until his body let him know that the benders weren't the greatest idea. And then he had to find another way to control the anger. That was when the rotation of women started. He need to relieve the emptiness to make himself feel whole and when that didn't work; he found himself falling in love.
He married of her, of course. Decided he couldn't live his life without her. Decided that if he had to live in a fucked upo world, then she could at least make it better. Everytime that anger rose, he went to her. Told her how he felt, talked it out, sometimes sexed it out; until he released it all. This time though, she couldn't bear witness to his soul. He wasn't going to share that with her. This time, he'd keep it to himself and let the beer console him.
"I fucking hate Mississippi, " Penelope Garcia-Morgan murmured as she watched her husband through the window. He had been out on the deck since he got home and now a storm was brewing. He had told her in very explicit terms, that he didn't want to talk to her, didn't want to see her until he worked this out. And since he got home at 7 and it was now well after midnight, she knew that his version of excerising the demons wasn't working. So she did the smartest thing a woman in her position could do, she called for reinforcements. Now, all she ahd to do was wait.
Ten minutes later the ringing of the doorbell had all but startled Penelope. She moved away from her window and scurried through the house before the door bell could ring again. She opened the door and stepped aside to allow the shy and introverted Spencer Reid into the door. Spencer glanced over at Penelope and smiled.
"How's Miss. Esperanza?" Spencer asked as he removed his jacket.
Penelope smiled as her hands went to her stomach. At six months, Penelope was a in full pregnancy glow and her disposition showed it. Their baby, which they found out was a girl, was scheduled to be named Esperanza Francesca Morgan. It rolled off the tongue and both Derek and Penelope were satisfied with the name and the meaning.
"She's fine. Just worried about her Daddy." Penelope replied softly.
"He still on the deck?" Spencer asked as he scanned the hallway.
" Hasn't moved, but to take a drink."
Spencer nodded as he processed the information and the sadness in her voice. "I'll find out what I can."
"I'll be in the baby's room."
Spencer watched as Penelope made her way up the stairs. Never, in a million years would a he think that a case would interfer with the quintessentially, happy couple. Apparently, he was wrong. He took a deep breath and shook his head as he made his way to the deck. He slid the door open just as a flash of lightning illuminated the back yard, to quickly followed by a crackle of thunder loud enough to seemingly split the earth in half.
Spencer shut the door and took the seat next to Derek. He watched him quietly. He took everything in, from the way he gripped the neck of the beer to the way his jaw clenched in thought. Other than those two movements, he didn't move at all. They both sat there in silence for at least ten minutes before another flash of lightning and a crackle of thunder caused Derek to speak.
"What are you doing here?"
Spencer stared at him over the night sky, "Just thought I come check on you."
That earned him a grunt, "Penelope called you."
"If you knew, why'd you ask?" Spencer questioned.
Derek turned to look at him, "How worried is she?"
Spencer shrugged, "Plenty, if she's called me. What's going on?"
Derek took a swig of his beer and let loose a heavy sigh, "It's nights like these, that make me question the sanity of the world. It makes me question everything that I've ever believed to be true. That there is some kindness, some humanity left in the world."
"What do you mean?"
"You don't feel it? The tension and pressure, the rising of the humidity, just like boiling water waiting to let loose and over flow. It is the darkness, in the heat of the night, that all the crazy shit happens. People are abducted, are murdered , lynched in the cover of darkness. Never in the daylight, never where watching eyes can see."
"Derek, it's summer and with warm fronts and cold fronts-
Derek held up his hands, "What I'm talking about has nothing to do with logic, but everything to do with emotion."
Spencer frowned and shook his head, " I don't understand."
Derek sighed before letting a hand roll over his face, "I don't think that you can even fathom what I'm talking about. I've spent my entire life stuck in between two worlds and I think I just condemned my daughter to the same life sentence."
Silence fell between them again. Derek took anothe sip of his beer and Spencer watched his friend. Spencer felt that Derek was on the verge of spilling some deep dark secret and Spencer truthfully wanted to know. As long as they had been collegues and well friends, Derek never really let them into his persoanl life. In fact, the furthest they got into his personal life was the discussion in his belief in God and his courting of Penelope. Other than that, no one really knew what went on in Derek Morgan's head and to be given that chance was something Spencer couldn't wait to here.
"You know what's really eating at me?" Derek asked suddenly.
Spencer didn't say a word he just lifted his head to meet Derek's gaze.
"They were loved, despite the obvious differences, they were loved. And some asshole who couldn't fathom it, wh couldn't respect it, stole seven very precious and valuable lives. It takes a strong type of person to raise bi-racial children. I don't think people realized that, especially where you have kids who are growing up post Civil-Rights Movement. You have to be very concentious, because you just can't see the world your way. No, you have to prepare your child for living in a world where they are never enough. Too light to be black, too black to be white. Neither one accepts, but they tolerate you. It's the toleration that pisses you off, because people act like it's no biggie."
Derek paused for a second the ramifications of his words catching up to him. "I'm afraid...that I will fail my wife and my daughter. I'm afraid that my daughter will feel like she has to choose. I'm afraid that my daughter will be ashamed... of me."
Spencer stared at Derek as if he had lost his mind, "Derek, what the hell are you talking about? What, in the hell would she be possibly be ashamed of?"
"Of who and what I am." Derek set his bear down before walking over to the railing his hands sliding into his pockets. "I am a black man who happens to be white and a white man who happens to black. When people see me, they don't see all of me; they only see part of me, the visual part of me. They make assumptions about me and instead of challenging them, correcting them; I allow them to view me based on their ignorance and preconceived notions. I put my life on the line every single day to protect the world and yet, I couldn't protect seven young men who had promising futures. I couldn't protect me. So, how in the hell am I suppose to protect my own daughter. We live in a society, where everybody is supposedly created equal and yet we condemn those who are different, whether it is race, creed, gender, sexuality, religion; we condemn them and we kill them because we don't understand them. Seven, Spencer. Seven young men died because their parents decided to look past the bullshit and love each other. Fourteen people had to bury their children, because they decided to love someone who didn't look like them. A whole damn town was turned upside because one idiot, was stuck in 1933. And I am fucking worried that my daughter will be subjected to all of this. I wonder will I end up burying my daughter because somebody hates her because me and Penelope fell in love; because we created her out of love; because for a moment in time I found my salvation and I took a chance and won."
Derek took a deep breath and ran a hand over his head, " It took watching Lincoln Maxwell, hanging from a tree to make me realize that nothing in this life is promised. That as far we've come in regards to equality in the pasty forty years, we still have a long way to go."
"I don't think that Esperanza's going to be ashamed of you, Derek. In fact, I think that she's going to love you, because you're going to be her hero. I mean you took a chance and risked it all, falling in love, marrying and not carrying about race nor religion. She's going to love you because you have the ability to see what other's have missed. You're still able to see humanity in us all."
Derek didn't say a word. He just turned and walked off the porch. The moment he stepped out onto the porch the sky opened and the rains that had been kept at bay by the thunder and lightning fell from the sky in thick torrents. Derek kept walking, out into the darkness, out into the madness, trying to make since of the world he lived in. And Spencer let him, because within that fifteen minute conversation, Spencer had become more enlightened then he had been in his young life.
Spencer made himself comfortable, popped the top on a beer and took a sip. He had thought about the injustices of the world and he had thought about the heat... how it indeed made you do crazy things. How in the darkness the ugliness always prevailed; he also made it a point to remember that the light always could heal. It was clear to him that even in the heat of the night, positive things could happen. So, he waited, to remind Derek that he still had the chance to change the world. All he needed it was a little bit of hope.