Harry Potter

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One Shots

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Chapter One

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Eggs and Brooms

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ooOoOoo

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Harry looked up from the stove as Sirius walked into the kitchen. He had just placed the last of twenty eggs into the water, to boil.

"What you doing Harry?" Sirius asked as he plopped into his chair.

"Boiling some eggs, for Deviled Eggs …"

"YOU'RE SUMMONING DEVILS?" Sirius shouted as he jumped to his feet with his wand out.

Harry started laughing, and slapping the counter beside him. Wiping the tears away, he sat down across from Sirius who was glaring at the stove.

"No! I'm making a snack for your order meeting. Sheesh, Sirius, you know me," Harry replied as he started peeling some of the previously cooked eggs.

"Then what are you doing?" Sirius asked as he sat down and watched his godson.

"Well, once I peel these eggs, I will cut them in half, lengthwise. The yolk goes in the white bowl, the whites in the bowl with the water. When I have enough yolks I'll add a little mustard, some mayonnaise, and a dash of salt and pepper. Then you mix it all together, and place it back into the whites, with a dash of paprika on top. Chill, then serve. They are really good," Harry stated as he started cutting the eggs in half.

Sirius watched as Harry put the first of the eggs and mixture together. He reached out and snatched one off the tray. Popping the egg into his mouth he started chewing and then swallowed.

"Hey, these are good," he said as he reached for another.

Harry smacked Sirius hand with his spoon, "Don't touch."

Sirius sat there and then his lower lip started to quiver as he looked at Harry with puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, grow up," Harry said with a giggle as Sirius started pouting.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because your fifty years old. So act your age …"

"Thirty-six thank you very much," Sirius said with a huff.

"Then act like it, and wait until I am done making them," Harry ordered as Kreacher popped in with a flat of eggs.

"Blood traitor wanted more eggs. Here are your eggs," Kreacher said as he raised the eggs as if to throw them.

"You throw those eggs, and you will regret it!" Sirius snapped, "Now set them down and go clean."

Kreacher set the eggs down, and popped away.

"Did you hear the Malfoys are having a Christmas Ball?" Harry said as he finished the last egg.

Sirius picked up the flat of eggs and opened the cooler, "Yes, I heard," Sirius replied as he looked at the eggs and grinned.

"What are you grinning about?" Harry asked as he slid the tray into the cooler.

Sirius started laughing and replied, "I'll tell you later," as he walked out of the room, snickering.

Harry shook his head. He sat back down at the table as he waited for the last of the eggs to finish cooking.

1~1~1~1

Ten days later:

Sirius snuck up to Harry and Ron's room. Opening the door, he poked his wand in and hit Ron with a Stupefy spell. Ron dropped off into a deeper sleep. Walking over to Harry he shook him.

"Harry, wake up," Sirius said with a giggle.

"Huh? What? What's going on, Sirius," Harry stuttered out as he sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Get dressed and follow me. Oh, here's your glasses," Sirius said with another giggle.

"Should I wake Ron?" Harry asked as he slid out of bed and pulled his pajamas off. Pulling on his normal clothes he slipped his feet into his dragon hide boots.

"No, I put him under. So grab your jacket and broom and let's go…" Sirius ordered and then said, "You really need clothes that fit."

"I know, these used to belong to the whale," Harry said as he opened his trunk and then asked, "You did what to Ron?"

"I used the Stupefy spell on him. Can't have him wake up while were gone," Sirius said as he pointed his wand at the bed and an exact duplicate of Harry formed under the blanket.

Harry followed Sirius downstairs where they met Remus and Tonks. Both were standing there with brooms and four small boxes.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

"Shhh," Tonks whispered with a giggle.

"Are you all drunk?" Harry asked as he sniffed.

"We've had a few," Remus replied with a grin as he opened the door.

Sirius led them outside where they looked around the darken street. Taking his broom he tucked it under one arm as he said, "Harry, hold my arm tightly."

Harry reached out and clasped Sirius arm tightly. He felt a pulling in his navel and they vanished from where they were to appear on a small hill.

"Where are we?" Harry asked as he climbed to his feet and dusted his pants off. Looking around, he could see a house which was lit up, down in a valley.

"That's Malfoy Manor and they are in the middle of their Christmas Ball. We're going to have some fun with the death eater scum," Sirius said as he mounted his broom.

"We're what?" Harry asked as he looked around as Tonks and Remus appeared.

"We're going to prank all those gits," Remus said as he handed a box to Sirius.

"Whats in the box?" Harry asked.

"Eggs," Sirius replied with a giggle as he mounted his broom and stuck the box to the broom with a sticking spell.

"Eggs?"

"Yes! Now get on your broom," Tonks said as she mounted her Cleansweep.

Harry shrugged and mounted his broom. Remus handed a box to Harry as Sirius hit it with a sticking spell.

"Place it in front of you and let's get in the air," Remus said as he mounted his old Cleansweep.

The four of them flew up into the air until they were a thousand feet over Malfoy manor. Once in position they hovered there while Sirius opened his box.

"Ok Harry. Now open your box and start tossing the eggs out. They will stay where you place them for ten minutes. It should give us enough time to place all the eggs in your box and allow us to get away. Don't worry about placing them too close," Sirius said as he started tossing eggs out of the box as he looked down on the party below.

"Sirius, I don't think we should do this," Harry stated as he looked down at the party and could see people dancing.

"Harry, down there are the people who have attacked you all year in the paper. Including Fudge, Umbitch, and the Malfoy death eaters and a lot of their supporters, just think of it as a bit of revenge," Sirius stated as he tossed eggs around him.

Harry thought for a second and then started pulling eggs out. He flew around leaving a trail of them behind him. He was surprised the box held more eggs then it should. Once the last egg was gone he joined Sirius, Remus and Tonks who were floating side by side.

"Ok now for the best part," Sirius said.

Tonks, Sirius and Remus pulled out their wands and pointed them at the eggs and said, "Engorgio!" The spells shot out and hit all the eggs. They grew until they were the size of footballs.

"Let's get out of here," Sirius said and they flew back to the hill and landed with seconds to spare.

"This is going to be good. Wish we could get pictures," Harry stated.

"Taken care of, pup," Remus said.

Harry looked at his old defense teacher and saw him looking at his watch. Harry turned to look at Malfoy manor as Remus was counting down.

"Ten seconds until they fall," he said.

They watched as two thousand eggs fell and landed on the Manor with giant splats. Screams could be heard and he could see the flashes of the cameras as the event was recorded by Hogwarts house elves. Each had a camera and took several pictures before popping out.

"Let's get out of here," Sirius said and held out his arm.

Harry grabbed Sirius arm and they vanished to reappear back home. Going inside they went into the living room and collapsed onto the couches laughing.

Dobby popped in and said, "The pictures you asked for Master Sirius."

"Gimmie!" Sirius ordered and snatched the pictures out of the elf's hands.

Sirius burst out laughing as he looked at the first picture and handed it to Remus who passed it around. It showed Lucius Malfoy, Cornelius Fudge, and Delores Umbridge covered in broken eggs.

"What's is going on in here? Why is Harry up this late?"

"Hi, Molly… Harry couldn't sleep, so we were entertaining him," Sirius replied with a giggle.

"Oh, well don't let him stay up too late," Molly ordered and went back upstairs.

"Wait until the paper hits tomorrow with these pictures," Sirius said with a giggle.

"Like they will print them," Harry said with a sigh.

"Oh, I think they will, since Tonks and you now own the paper," Remus said with a giggle.

"We what?" Tonks screamed.

"I bought the paper and put it in the both of your names. So they have to do your stories. I suggest you take these pictures over, Tonks. Have them printed before Cornelius knows what hit him," Sirius suggested as he handed the pictures to his cousin.

Tonks took the pictures and walked to the floo. She threw some powder in and vanished.

1~1~1~1

The next morning:

Sirius, Tonks, Remus and Harry were the first ones downstairs the next morning. They were waiting there when the owls flew in and dropped a stack of papers in front of Tonks who hid them on her lap. Everyone but Ron staggered into the kitchen within the new few minutes. They sat there as Molly started making breakfast waiting for the right time to pass the papers out.

"Morning everyone," Dumbledore said as he wandered into the kitchen and sat at the head of the table.

"Morning," was the reply from everyone.

"Paper hasn't come yet?" Dumbledore asked as he took a sip of his tea.

"It's right here," Tonks said as she pulled the stack out, and passed them around to everyone.

"Ahh, thank you, Nymphadora," Dumbledore replied as he took the offered paper, "I love my funnies while I drink my morning tea."

"Don't call me Nymphadora! My name is Tonks!" Tonks screamed as Dumbledore opened the paper.

"Yes, yes… I'm sorry, I forgot… Oh, dear! This isn't good!" Dumbledore said as everyone started laughing.

Dumbledore dropped the paper, and looked at Sirius and Remus, "Your idea?"

"Nope!" Sirius said with a grin and pointed at Harry.

"HARRY HOW COULD YOU!" Hermione shouted.

Harry stuck his finger in his collar and started trying to loosen it as he mumbled, "Uhhh…"

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1~1~1~1

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Ok that's it for this one. If you want to expand on it be my guest. More to come!

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Monbade

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Edited By TeNderLoin

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Harry Potter™ is a registered trademark and copyright (©) of J.K. Rowlings and all that crap. The only thing mine is the idea and several characters. Everything else is hers including all the money... Damn wish they'd share.