Disclaimer: I do not own Psych or any of the characters (and trust me if I did they wouldn't die!)
Warning: Major Character Death
This is my first story for Psych! I hope you enjoy it!
It is a common held belief that grief heals over time. That eventually you won't turn your head in delight when you think you hear their voice. You won't spend all of your meals staring at the chair where they should be. After enough time has passed you will be able to sleep in your bed and not feel cold without their embrace. Juliet O'Hara could personally discredit this. In the months after his death she kept on waiting to feel relief, no matter how slight, but it never came. She even read the self-help book that her mother bought her, which was designed to help you more on from a tragedy. But she barely processed the words on the pages. All she could think about was his brown hair and hazel eyes.
Looking back on the day that it happened, Juliet was always confused about why she remembered certain details and not others. She remembered being in her green car with Shawn. And there was a fly. For some strange reason, Juliet always remembered the fly vividly. It was buzzing all over her car and thoroughly pissing her off, but instead of getting rid of it Shawn was having fun.
"Buzzz...buzzz," he imitated softly.
"Seriously Shawn?" She said, her voice laces with evident annoyance. "Just shoo it out already."
"All right, fine, chill Jules," he replied, opening his window. The fly buzzed out and Shawn was about to close his window when he gasped quickly.
"What, did you let another one in?" Juliet joked. When he didn't respond she glanced over, just in time to see a car that had run a red light slam into the passenger side of her VW Beetle.
The next few seconds were a blur of metal shrieking and crunching, Juliet screaming, and obvious silence from Shawn. When Juliet's memories cleared up again she was still in the car with her head laying on the steering wheel. All she could think about was how quiet everything seemed. After all of the noise it was almost eerie. She moved her head and saw Shawn lying next to her, bleeding profusely. Everything seems slow and foggy. She felt like all of her movements involved fighting through water. Somehow, Juliet managed to find her cell phone and call for an ambulance. Then she slowly disentangled herself from the metal and got out of the car.
After that, Juliet could never remember anything clearly. Logically, she knew that she and Shawn had been brought to the hospital. She was stitched up and given pain medication while Shawn was taken to surgery. But Juliet didn't remember any of this. The next thing she could recall was when the doctor told her. When he opened his mouth and said the words that she wanted to hear—that Shawn was going to be okay. When he lied to her. He filled her entire body with false hope so that when the love of her life took his last breath there was nothing left. Nothing but an empty shell. And that truly did describe Juliet O'Hara. She was empty, broken, no longer there. Just like Shawn, she ceased to exist. Everyone around her could vouch for that. They could see how lifeless she was—how she drifted through the daily motions without any feeling. It took her a while to even begin a normal routine. For weeks, she just lay around, crying and sleeping. She spent the first two weeks on the couch because entering the bedroom that she had once shared with him was too hard. After that she transitioned to their—her—bed. Her mom came and made her eat. People stopped by to check on her. Lassiter, Buzz, the Chief, even Henry and Gus although those two deserved to be mourning more than she did. Every time, her mom came back to tell her about the visitor, but Juliet never let anyone in.
Once, she tried to go back to work, but she couldn't do it. There were too many memories and she couldn't focus enough to be a functional detective. So she quit. She got a job at City Hall reviewing traffic violation, just like she had done once before, although this time she knew it was permanent. Every time she read a report of a person running a red light she felt like she was being stabbed.
He had once told her that if he died she should find a new boyfriend, someone to protect her. That was a cruel joke. Juliet knew that she would never be able to open herself up to a man again. She couldn't even carry on any normal relationships. After quitting her job, she didn't see people from the station. Occasionally, they tried to check on her, but she never answered the door. Once, Lassiter tracked her down at City Hall, but she made him promise to never come again. She knew that he wouldn't want to anyway. It was obvious from the look in his eyes how painful it was for him to see her like this, but she didn't care. She couldn't think about other people, all of her energy was spent on missing Shawn.
Sometimes Juliet felt guilty for being so broken. After all, if anyone should let this ruin his or her life, it should be Henry or Gus. Juliet didn't know Shawn anywhere near even half as long as they did. But she pushed those thoughts away. After all, she didn't see them, so she had no idea what their lives were like. Besides, Shawn was her soul mate. She loved him more than she could even understand, and now he was gone. And her life was over, just like his.
Wow so that was depressing... I hope you liked it though and I would really appreciate reviews. Seriously they are so great and no matter how short or long they are always awesome! And I love hearing what people think about my stories so reviews...yay :)