Hi everyone... here I am and this is my first fic in English so I'm sorry for all and any grammar/spelling mistakes you are gonna find =) I own nothing... I wish they were mine **puppy eyes** but sadly they're not. A lot of spoilers **giggles** from CSPWDT(2X4)
Dean's drunk and Sam is there for him. Enjoy and please leave your reviews, those beautiful words feed my muse and make her happy.
Sam…I had to die that day. I was… already dead… He… he didn't have to… I HAD TO DIE! –shouted, throwing a dusty lamp to the floor.
He didn't care Sam was looking at him; he didn't care keeping the macho wall or the strong appearance… He didn't care at all. He felt the rage, guilt and resentment running through his veins.
Did he think Dean would be glad? Maybe that he would be happy to be the reason of his father's death. Well if John thought so, he was wrong because all Dean could feel was crap. The guilt was killing him; he just wanted to have his dad back.
He swallowed and crossed the room. "It's not natural Sam… I shouldn't be here. It's my fault… my fault. He's dead because of m-me" – Said with his head hidden in the shadows. He couldn't handle it anymore. Dean put his shaky hands on the table and let the tears slide off across his face.
He felt a warm touch on his right shoulder. "Dean… man, it's not your fault. That's enough"
"Why he did it… Sammy… why? … I had to… s-stay dead" – He whispered.
-"Dean that's enough, he did it because he loved you… that's why "- Answered Sam slowly.
-"no… he didn't. He was s-selfish. He brought me back because he didn't want to let me go… how am I supposed to live with that…Sam, I killed him"- said looking at his little brother with teary eyes.
-"He… we would never let you die Dean… we couldn't. Man, please…"
Dean just continued talking apparently without hearing a word of what Sam was saying.
"He made a deal… he sold his soul to a demon… a demon, Sam. the things we've been hunting for years, the thing that killed mom… he made a deal with them"- the way Dean said this made Sam's heart break, his brothers voice showed culpability and madness.
"Hey, hey... stop talking like that" – Sam held his brother's head between his hands. Dean closed his eyes; the youngest Winchester could smell the liquor.
-"I'm sorry Sammy… so sorry… it's my fault…"- murmured helpless.
-"Okay… come on dude"- Sam softly took Dean to bed. Dean's constant moaning didn't make it easy but as soon as he lied down he fell asleep.
He just sat on a chair in the darkness of the motel staring at his brother in silence. Yes, he knew his father made a deal and yes, he knew it was messing Dean's life as hell. How they were going to deal with it… well, he didn't have the answers. All he knew was he wouldn't let his brother alone, that wasn't a possibility.