This story is kind of timelessm in the sense that it obviously take place after Water 7, but you can decide how long after.
I'll dedicate this story to my amazing friend Neko-senpai (Also known as Katherine Von Karma). You are wonderful and this is for you :D
Disclaimer: I do not Own One Piece.
Following your Heart is not Always the Right Thing to do
On the Sunny the strawhats would usually be found close to each other. They'd all be gathered on deck enjoying whatever weather the Grand Line was throwing at them or they'd be huddled together in the kitchen. They'd most often eat, but sometimes they'd just stay close, tell stories and enjoy each others company. Of course, sometimes a person would love to spend some time away from everyone, even if the love they held for each other was infinite. Some people would go to the library, some to the crows nest, and Usopp would go to his little factory to geek out with some gadgets. Sometimes he'd go to the most quiet place on the Sunny and sketch whatever his heart felt like, but either way, he was either enjoying some time alone or spending time with everyone.
It was therefore an uncommon occurrence that Usopp now found himself in a room with only three other crew members. It wasn't even planned. It had just sort of happened. It had been a hectic day and as a result most of the crew had gone to bed early. Usopp, who had watch, had gone to the kitchen to get something that would get him through the night. Sanji had happily provided with a strong coffee, but since it was still a little early and not everyone was asleep yet, Sanji had persuaded Usopp to stay for a little while longer, before he made his way to the crow's nest.
As the two of them had talked about nothing in particular, Luffy had suddenly appeared and asked for a snack before going to bed, and as Sanji was in a good mood and generally didn't turn down Luffy when he asked, he provided with some takoyaki. Not long after Luffy had started eating, Zoro had strolled through the door and without saying a word, he had taken a bottle of saké and sat down next to Luffy.
So now the four of them were gathered in the kitchen, talking about something they would forget as soon as the sun rose the next morning, until Sanji asked a question which had them all speechless for a solid minute.
"Say... Luffy," Noting the slight change in tone everyone looked to Sanji, who was not looking at them but rather at his hands, "Can I ask you a slightly personal question?"
"You can ask me anything," Luffy replied happily, but Usopp suspected that he didn't answer out of innocence, but because he was detecting that something was bothering their chef.
"Back then... Back in Water 7, when we were told that Merry could no longer be saved," by then mention of Merry and Water 7, Usopp suddenly feared what was coming next, "You acted so... indifferent towards getting a new ship. You knew what Merry meant to us... to Usopp, yet you still... why?"
No one spoke for a long time. Sanji had stopped looking at his hands, but he was avoiding Usopp's gaze. Usopp then turned to the others sitting by the table with him, and found that Luffy was eyeing Zoro, while Zoro was looking directly at Usopp.
Usopp wouldn't describe the situation as awkward or intimidating. It was a bit more like the situation you would get if you suddenly asked an illiterate person to read, or if asked a king how to make bread. It was devoid of answers, and when it came down to cutting the silence, it wasn't Sanji who retreated his question, Usopp who defended Luffy's rash behaviour nor Luffy providing an answer, it was Zoro.
"He made the choice that had to be made, however harsh or unfair it might have seemed at the time."
Usopp turned his attention back to Sanji and found their chef looking dissatisfied with the answer he got.
"I know, but that's not really what I asked," Sanji looked around the room, looking like he didn't quite know what words would best describe what he wanted to ask, "I just meant why he acted like he did. I just feel like... maybe... if Luffy had acted different, there might have been a different outcome."
In his mind Usopp knew that what Sanji was saying was making sense and that his concern was based on pure logic, but even after having been forgiven by Luffy and the crew, Usopp could never forgive himself for what had happened that night, and in that instant he was ready to tell Sanji off. He heard Zoro rustle behind him, and between his relationship with Luffy and his rivalry with Sanji, it wasn't hard to guess what Zoro felt about a statement that could easily be misinterpreted as a sign of doubt in Luffy's leading capabilities. Yet none of them got to act, before Luffy gave Sanji an answer.
"Because I agreed." That was all he said. All three of them looked to Luffy, but their Captain's eyes were covered by the shadow of his hat, and none of them could tell where he was looking or what he was thinking.
More silence followed, and Usopp wasn't sure what to do now. He had wanted to punch Sanji in the face and have him take back what he had said, yet Luffy's answer intrigued him. He had agreed. With what exactly? Usopp shot another glance at Zoro, hoping that he might be understanding more than he did, but Zoro's blank expression mirrored his own, and all they could do was wait until Luffy decided to elaborate. If he ever did decide to do that.
"I agreed with Usopp," Luffy finally spoke, still not looking at them, "I wanted to keep Merry, I wanted to repair her and take her with us to the end." Luffy suddenly looked up, still not at them, he just looked up and smiled.
"When I knew I had to act. When I knew I had to give the order to leave her behind, I hesitated. I distracted myself by happily searching for a new ship, because I knew that giving the order would be the hardest thing I had ever done. But, as the captain, I can't let my heart choose for me, not always. So I cut myself off." Luffy looked down again. He was biting his lip and it became clear to Usopp. This wasn't a story Luffy wanted to share, yet he couldn't find it in him to make him stop. Not because Usopp liked hearing that Luffy had agreed with him all along, but because it felt like Luffy was blaming himself for something. Something that wasn't his fault.
"I gave the order and when I was met with resistance I grew angry. Not with you, but with myself. It was like a part of me was screaming, trying to tell me that something was wrong, but I was afraid that I would back down, so I ignored it and..." And Usopp left the crew.
"I made the right decision, but I acted wrongly..." Luffy finished, and for a brief moment, his eyes turned to Zoro, and that's when everything fell into place for Usopp. Right now, Luffy was still fighting a fight that had been over for so long, because he knew there was a possibility for a situation like that arising again. A situation where his heart and his mind would not agree. Luffy always strived to keep everyone as happy as they could be. He tried to comprise wherever he could, never allowing anyone in their crew to gain favour with him. In that sense, Luffy was a very just captain, but in situations where Luffy was split, and in most need of council, his two confidants would always be on opposing sides.
Zoro would always represent Luffy's mind. He'd calmly remind their captain of the sound solution and the right way to act, and Luffy depended on the council he gave, like a flower depended on the sun shining. Yet, on the other hand, Usopp would always represent his heart. Always ready to tell him that the best decision to make was the one that you'd have no regrets choosing later down the line. And while Usopp liked being the one to guide the heart of his captain and best friend, he was glad that it was Zoro who kept Luffy grounded. If Luffy had followed his heart instead of his mind, it would have spelled the end of their crew. Not because they would have been sailing on a broken ship, but because Luffy would have proved an unworthy captain in both his own and Zoro's eyes.
No one spoke for a long time. A really long time. It had been so long that Usopp was actually getting worried about not being at his post, but for some reason, he couldn't leave. None of them could. It felt like now that everything was out in the open, they couldn't just leave it. They had to put that part of their voyage behind them once and for all, because right now, in this room, everyone felt guilty. Luffy blamed his rash behaviour for Usopp leaving. Usopp blamed his stubbornness for Luffy having to make a hard choice. Zoro probably blamed himself for not realizing what Luffy had felt all this time, and Sanji was probably regretting having ever brought the topic up. Yet that was the one thing which Usopp was thankful for.
"I think..." Usopp said, breaking the silence as no one else would do it, "I think that what's done is done, and we've all learned from our mistakes. I know this sounds cliché and all, but in the end, it all worked out and while you can always apologize for acting harshly, you can't redo a wrongly made decision." Usopp's little speech was received with blank stares. Had that been too complicated?
Luffy smiled, and Usopp let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Relief seared through his body as Luffy softly answered.
"You're right." Those were the last words Luffy spoke that day, and not long after he strolled out of the kitchen and went to bed, but that didn't mean that this issue was resolved.
"Fuck..." Usopp heard Zoro whisper and the frustration was easily felt. Usopp and Zoro were very differently people, yet they got along oddly well, much unlike Zoro and Sanji. The one thing that really bound the two of them together was Luffy. In the end, Luffy was what tied the whole crew together, but for Usopp and Zoro it was different. Their relationship with their captain was vastly different from the other crew members.
"That night," Zoro suddenly spoke, "That was the first time I ever saw him cry. I told him to be strong, to not weaver, so he showed those tears only to me. Yet at the time, I thought he cried just because he lost you, and I didn't think more of it..."
Zoro was hurting and Usopp understood exactly why. Usopp had asked Nami what Luffy had been doing after he had left and all she had said was: "He was with Zoro." And under Zoro's watch, Luffy had suffered due to an advice Zoro had given that went directly against Luffy's heart. But because Zoro's advice, loyalty and opinion meant the world to Luffy, he had buried his own desires underneath it and suffered because of it.
Usopp blamed Zoro for none of it though. Usopp hadn't taken long to realize that Zoro had probably been the only one to act rationally that day, but sometimes making all the right decisions just isn't enough. And for all that Zoro did that was right and helped Luffy along, Usopp only had one complaint.
"Luffy is strong," Usopp said and looked at Zoro wanting to make sure he understood his message, "He's strong, but sometimes he doesn't need to be."
Not long after that Zoro left the kitchen. Now there was only one last thing Usopp wanted to do before he could get the closure they all needed.
"Sanji..." Usopp looked at the cook for the first time in a long while and found that he had tear stains on his cheek, "Why did you ask? Why now?"
Sanji looked down again, "Not long after we had left Water 7, I saw Luffy looking at you, looking at Zoro, and I heard him. It was barely a whisper, yet I heard it clear as day: "Did I make the right choice?" For a long time I couldn't figure out what he meant, but when I finally understood, I knew I had to bring it up someday, and when we were all together, just the four of us, I no longer had any excuses to put off asking."
Sanji looked up again and Usopp smiled to him, silently letting him know that he did the best thing he could have done. And now the case was closed, the regrets and fears which had lingered from that evening had been left behind, and Usopp went to the crow's nest to do his duty as a proud member of the strawhat pirates.
So, before someone tells me that Luffy is somewhat OOC, I'm aware that this is a bit deeper than what he'd usually be a part of, but I just had this idea in my head, so I wrote it. Make of it what you want.
However, if you did like it, then please fave it and leave a little cheeky review. It would be much appreciated :)