Title: When They Play Our Roles
Author: Rinienne
Rating: PG for first two and NC-17 for the last one
Genre: fluff, slash
Pairing/characters: Dean/Castiel, Sam, Chuck, Becky, Damian, Barnes, Balthazar. Mentioning of Liza, Ben, Gabriel, Mikael, Lucifer, Raphael Crowley
Spoilers: all over seasons 4,5,6 (it was written before season 6 finals, so it alternates the story little bit)
Warnings: Dunno... drinking bear? Also English isn't my native, so if there will be something silly, forgive me ^^"
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Eric Kripke... (or may be also Bible?)
Summary: Dean agreed to the most stupid idea in his life. :3
In Dean's life there always been moments when he hated himself for doing something: like he hated himself when he nearly said yes to Mikael, or when he returned to Liza and Ben, knowing that it might put their life in danger, or when he said Sam he doesn't want to see him anymore. But there was nothing in his life he regretted more than that.
"So, tell me again Sammy, why did I agree to this?" – He asked his brother, sipping bear and watching the crowd of people dressed awkwardly similar to their own closes.
"Welcome to the 4'th Annual Supernatural Convention" was written on a huge banner spread all over the hall of a little hotel they were in.
"I dunno, dude," – replied Sam, - "May be because we wanted to check it's not full with ghost and spirits, and other crap. Like the first one?"
"Well, they figured how not to choose crappy haunted hotels after that accident, you know".
"Yeah, I know. But we are already here, so why just not relax some and have a little fun?"
"Just admit you enjoy this crap, Sam."
Sam didn't answer to this and Dean smirked to himself that he probably was right about it. When they first time visited the convention, invited by Becky who used Chuck's phone pretending that something bad is going on, it was smaller. Way smaller, like not more than fifty of sixty people, but this one was way bigger and large-scaled. Among dozens of Sams, Deans and Bobbies , they now could see as many Castiels, Mikaels and Lucifers. Angels, as it seemed, became quite popular.
"I know the way to defeat Raphael," – Dean heard somewhere left of him, - "We need to find a way to the Purgatory!"
Dean turned his head and noticed a fake Crowley talking with as much fake trench-coated angel. This brought him some very bad memories, but he decided not to show them drowning the rest of the bear in the bottle with one big sip. Anyway it was all in the past now; may be not as much in the past to totally forgive Castiel, but enough for start talking to him again. Although their conversations were always very short – angel, as it seemed was avoiding Dean now, never looking in his eyes for more than a brief moments. Sometimes Dean was waking at nights hearing the familiar rustle of wings, but never could see anyone. Dean knew that Castiel feels very sorry for what he have done, and Dean also knew that one day they will take some bear, climb on the hood of the Impala and talk, because family matters and should be forgiven. And Castiel was a part of his family. Of cause if they will find a way to defeat Raphael and stop the Armageddon.
"Hey guys!" – A familiar voice recalled him from his thoughts, – "long time no see!"
It was Barnes, the tall guy in beige jacked which looked exactly like Sam had like a year ago. In fact he still had it though was never wearing it, because the jacked looked too old and was covered in dirt, cuts and holes.
"Not wearing costumes this year?" – asked Damian, the second guy in a leather jacket, like the one belonged to Dean.
Damian was looked chubby and clumsy, like a teddy bear. Though three years ago he pretty much proved that appearance is not what matters.
"Oh, trust me, we are!" – smiled Sam.
"So, how you been latterly?" – inquired Barnes
"As usual" – answered Dean, - "hunting monsters, saving world from the Apocalypse".
Both guys started to laugh, tapping Sam and Dean.
"I love your sense of humor!" – Nodded Damian, - "Ok guys we would like to chat with you, but there will a fan fiction panel in two minutes, so we have to go."
And they left leaving two brothers alone again.
"May be there is something good in this conventions" – admitted Dean, – "we can tell people the trues and not afraid of being misunderstood!"
"Pretty much" – agreed Sam.
Chuck was going upstairs to his room to relax a little before his panel. Thought he was sure it will be very difficult with Becky following him. In fact he was sure even more that when he will leave his room in two hours, he will be even more tired that he is right now. But who was Chuck to complain?
When he opened the door to his room, he was about to jump of surprise: Castiel was sitting on a corner of his bed, with a book in his hands.
"Hello, Chuck" – he said, not tearing his glance from the book.
Chuck took a look at the cover of the book and found out that it was one of his works.
"You… you reading my book?" – He asked, not knowing what else to say.
"I told you once before, that I admire your work. Although I find it very awkward to read about myself."
This time Castiel raised his head looking at the writer with his blue eyes.
"Wait a second" – gasped Becky – "are you… Castiel?"
Angel moved his glance from the man to the girl and tilted his head as he always did when didn't understand something or trying to examine someone.
Becky rushed ahead with sparkles in her eyes and open month. She started to reach out her hands in attempt to touch Castiel, making angel's eyes wide while he shrank back.
"Ah, I'm sorry" – squeaked Becky, - "I remember, you're afraid of women, like in the chapter where Dean brought you to the brothel."
Castiel's eyes became even more wider then it were, while his neck and cheeks were slowly covering with blush. He was already about to flap his wings and take of somewhere very far away from this place.
"Becky!" – Chuck raised his voice with disapproval – "Stop it, please." – And then he turned his head back to the angel – "I'm sorry for this, Castiel" – he said.
"It is… all right" – nodded angel.
Becky returned back to Chuck, but her eyes were still fixed on the angel, and the wide smile never left her face.
"Anyway, Castiel , what brought you here? – wondered the prophet
"I was… I was just checking on" – replied angel – "I wanted to be sure that this… event will be complete without interventions."
Angel was still feeling uncomfortable, he returned to the reading.
"Sam and Dean are here." – informed Chuck.
"I know it."
"I can call them here!" – smiled Becky
"It is not necessary." - Castiel quickly refused the offer. – "I actually wanted to ask you not to tell them that I am here." – He added.
"Why?" – asked Becky
"This is… not of the import" – answered angel.
For a moment the room filled with silence. Castiel was still sitting on Chucks bed, reading the book while Chuck himself was standing in the doorway between the small anteroom and the room itself, holding Becky's hand.
"Umm… Cas…" – said the prophet and the angel looked at him again. – "We were hoping… to have some privacy."
Castiel raised his eyebrows looking at the couple of humans and then suddenly jolted his head with the soft "ah!"
"My apologies" – he said and disappeared from the room.
Castiel found a very good spot on the roof of the hotel. Down there, underneath he building he could hear laughing people and groaning cars, but otherwise it was a perfect spot: sun was up in the sky, touching bare spots of his skin with its warm rays, birds was singing all around. It was the middle of the autumn right how it supposed to be – already not hot, but yet not so cold. Castiel liked autumns, with all the trees covered in yellow, red and green, with warm winds.
Today he left heaven, telling Balthazar, that he is afraid Raphael's force can appear here, because Chuck, Sam and Dean under one roof, was like a sweet treat for the archangel. After Lucifer and Mikael was thrown down the cage, the prophet was no longer needed for the heaven, but his abilities in seeing future was still presented, and it could be a threat to Raphael.
But Balthazar didn't believe him. And he was right.
- "And when will you stop lying, my dearh brother?" – He asked.
- "I'm not lying to you" – refused angel
- "agh… let me ask it another way: when will you stop lie to yourhself?"
- "I don't understand what you mean."
- "Just answer yourhself, why do you always fly to this human? To Dean?"
-"He is my friend" – the answer to this question was clear to Castiel.
- "I am also yourh friend, Castiel, and even more – I'm yourh brother!" – Balthazar smirked, – "and yet, you don't come to me at nights just to stand nearhby my bed and watch me sleep"
- "You do not require sleeping."
- "And if I would? Would you do it?"
Castiel looked at Balthazar and shock his head.
- "Than I probably don't understand myself anymore" – he said.
- "This feeling you yourhs" – Balthazar smiled, – "I, of cause, can't say I ever had one, but I heard - fhrom fatherh's favorite chreations by the way, - it calls love." - Older angel made a face like he said something filthy. – "And I, of course, don't mean it like generhal concept, like love to ourh fatherh, or love to humanity… no, I mean desirhe… passion…"
- "Angels are not suppose to have this kind of feeling."
- "Angels arhe not suppose to rhebel, or starht civil warhs… orh get drhunk." – Balthazar sneered, opening a Ferrero Rocher candy and sanding it to his mouth, slowly like he was more care about the process of eating it than the fact.
But before Balthazar even could finish, Castiel was all gone.
- "Such a discourhtesy" – he shocked his shoulders, – "and I was just going to tell him why Gabriel actually ran away…"
And now Castiel ended up on the roof of this building, trying to forget about this stupid conversation with Balthazar, reading the book. But how can you forget about something you're reading about? Was it really love he felt for Dean? He was trying to remember, his glance - so bright and clear, and that he always feel like he burn under it. Every accidental touch - how it makes him shiver, like from electricity. And, of cause his soul - it is as bright as a beacon in darkness. Castiel was admiring it since he saw it first time, in Hell, even after thirty years of suffering it was brighter than any other soul he ever seen.
Castiel could not even imagine in a most wild fantasy that one day Dean will accept his feelings, because it was Dean, he liked "girls with experience" and Castiel was stuck in a male vessel he couldn't dare to leave after what Jimmy did for him, after he gave up everything he had and left his body for an angel. And it wasn't only about it. Castiel just couldn't imagine himself a female. Even if he would switch vessels, he would be just an angel-guy in a girl's body. And Dean will know it. And, of course this entire story with the Purgatory: Castiel now had difficulties even with looking Dean in the eyes.
Castiel Signed. Now he just closed his eyes and started listening.
He was surprised when he started to hear prayers -by different people; and all from the same building. All of them were claiming themselves as Dean, but no-one of them wasn't an actual Dean. Castiel didn't understand the concept of role playing games, and this situation was very disturbing for an angel.
One of the prayers was from a girl-Dean. It was very soothing, because there weren't any sarcastic jokes, or silly word combinations, such as "feathery ass", like Dean always used while praying.
- "Castiel, I pray to you and ask you to come down. I need to see you, need to talk to you; I need you to be with me."
Even if it wasn't real Dean, these words made his chest ache. He dared to imagine how this pray would sound if it would be Dean who says it, with his own voice. Angel was sitting on the roof with closed eyes and smiling to himself, and when he opened his eyes he found Dean, standing in front of him with a very surprised face.
Dean was about to give up on this "spectacular event", grab his brother and leave this hotel, trying to search for more monsters to kill, or for leads which could bring them to the rest of the artifacts and help them win the war against Raphael. He turned his head to the barman to buy himself the last drink, and was nearly about to drop it while turning back, because there was Castiel, standing right in front of him, with closed eyes and a stupidest smile he could ever see on the angel.
- "What the hell, Cas!" – Dean flung, – "tell me you defeated Raphael and just that much happy about it."
Angel opened his eyes and his smile suddenly changed to a lost puppy face, with wide eyes and open mouth.
- "Dean?" – He asked, starting to look around. – "Where… how?"
- "Wait, you want to tell, you just popped out here with no reason, and even not knowing how it happened?"
-"Hey Cas!" – Greeted Sam –"what's up?"
- "Hello Sam" – nodded Castiel, –"and I'm fine, thank you. I was just thinking about…" – he paused, – " it doesn't matter"
- "Oh, really? – smirked Dean, – "cause you just had a face like you was about to get laid."
- "Dean!" – whispered Sam
- "My apologies" – said Castiel, – "I probably should go"
- "Oh, not so fast!" – Stopped him Dean, grabbing the angel by the sleeve of his trench coat. – "We haven't heard from you for two weeks, and now you popping in the middle of this absurd, and going to leave already?
Castiel, squeezed a sight from his chest and took a sit from the right side of Dean, trying not to look at the hunter. Dean himself of cause was able to notice that angel cannot stand looking him in the eyes recently. This situation was annoying him, making Dean little bit angrier at Castiel that he already was. This conversation of his has to be done soon or Dean will go crazy.
- "I actually have to return this to Chuck" – angel said suddenly, showing the book.
Now Dean noticed one of the "Supernatural" books, which Castiel was holding in his hand.
"You actually read it?" – Sam asked.
Castiel nodded to younger Winchester.
"You will do it later" – proposed Dean ordering a drink to the angel.
Time for leaving the convention was delayed. Latter on Chuck and Becky invited all three of them to their table. To their surprise Damian and Barnes was there as well. Dean expected it to be annoying and boring as hell, but for some reasons it wasn't. Damian and Barnes said that they became hunters. Dean was surprised at first but then guys confessed that they manage to kill only one more ghost for the past three years. Dean found its funny, but may be only because of the amount of booth he managed to apply. Dean even noticed that Castiel was slowly becoming calmer and relaxed with time. It was a good sign.
"well, it was nice to meet you all again" – said Chuck, - "but now we need to return to our room, prepare some stuff for tomorrow's role play."
With these words he grabbed Becky and they left. Damian and Barnes left about ten minutes after it, leaving two hunters and an angel alone. Now they found themselves in silence didn't know what to say.
Dean was looking at Castiel with a smile. Angel looked tired and sleepy, even with a fact that he didn't require to sleep. Dean never told it to any-one, but he always felt safe when Castiel was around. And now he just were very glad they could spend some time together, three of them, like at the times before Castiel's betrayal. Like it have never happened.
Castiel noticed the gaze and looked at Dean with raised eyebrows, this time right in his eyes. Dean could see how uncomfortable angel felt under his glance, but Dean didn't look away fixing his eyes on Castiel's and sipping bear.
"I'm hunted. I rebelled," – now he could hear from somewhere nearby them, – "and I did it - all of it! – for you!" – this phrase Castiel said him once, two years ago, may be more, and now it was repeated by some fans Dean didn't know, – "Because I love you… I love you Dean, I always did!"
Dean chocked on his bear when he heard this. He saw Castiel shuddered, his eyes went wild and several light bulbs exploded above their heads. Dean turned his head and saw a couple of girls, dressed as Castiel and himself kissing and not paying attention to anyone. From one side it of course was girls, and Dean wasn't too much against this kind of performance, but they were… playing Dean's and Castiel's roles…
"I gotta throw up now…" said Dean with blank face, he stood up and moved to the bar.
Castiel's face was still blank, he was running with his eyes all over the room, like trying to find something, that could save his life. His face was all red, but right now, with no light above the table, it became too dark to see it to anyone else.
"I should go… now…" – said the angel and disappeared.
"Oh, just perfect" – signed Sam who was left alone by the table. – "And what am I suppose to do now?"
Becky glanced at the table they were sitting with Chuck and others about twenty minutes ago, from behind a corner and smiled.
"Preparations to tomorrow's LARP… checked!" – she said and marked something in her notebook.