She hurt. She hurt bad. It didn't have a start or end, not in it's origins and definitely not in it's length. It was burning and throbbing, everything ached, god everything ached, and there was a worry that she couldn't quite place. She could feel it, beating as hard as the headache that just made an appearance, it was boiling in her gut, and squeezing her heart. Worry. Worry for what, she didn't know.
"Gail, you're up" a smooth voice gasped from her side. Relief.
She peeked open one eye, only to be met with a brown eyed beauty, making her open both to better see the woman by her side. Gail could not only feel the fast pace of her heart, feel the quickened race of her pulse, but the speedy beeps of a machine confirmed how she felt.
The woman looked her over, every feature untouched, her eyes filled with relief and worry and, adoration. Adoration? What
"Do you need anything? How do you feel? What the hell am I talking about, you've been shot and in a coma-" the brunette rushed.
"Water." Gail croaked. "
Yeah, yeah. No problem" the woman turned to the bedside table and went to pour what Gail guessed as water into one of the styrofoam cups, but it was empty.
"Damn, it's empty. I'm sorry, I must have finished it off, I've been drinking twice as much as I did before and you know how much that was." She laughed at her own words.
Gail's face scrunched up. As I know? How would I know?
"Which of course doesn't help the excessive peeing. Anyway, I'll stop talking your ear off and fill it for you."
The brunette stood slowly, and revealed a bulging stomach, round and protruding. Pregnant? Gail watched as she waddled out the door and towards what appeared to be the nurses station, yeah definitely pregnant. The most beautiful pregnant person she'd ever seen, well the most beautiful person she'd seen ever, and apparently Gail knew this woman.
How could she forget someone like this woman?
Gail didn't have much time to ponder that before she melodic chimes of the sweetest laughter hit her ears, and of course it belonged to the sexiest person she'd ever lay eyes on. The beeps on the machine spaced out, missing every other line.
"Here you go sweetie," the soon to be mother smiled at her. "Sarah has promised to bring another pitcher in as soon as she can." She finished when she came to the bed, hand offering a cup of water.
Gail tried to sit up, forgetting how badly of a decision that was until she cried out in pain. Strong hands were suddenly on her, gently but forcefully pushing her back into bed, the sexy nerd was pushing her into bed. Gail smirked involuntarily.
"Stay."
"I usually don't like being told what to do, but you make it work." Gail's smirk grew sly.
The brunette gave a breathy chuckle and shook her head, just as she turned away to grab a tissue Gail saw the brown eyes turn a slightly darker shade.
"I make everything work, Honey." The woman winked at her and flashed the sexiest smirk Gail had ever witnessed. It did things. Lots and lots of wonderful things.
"Why don't you show me sometime" Gail suggested in the most seductive voice she could muster, the gruff of her sore throat was a great addition.
She wasn't quite sure where this was all coming from, why she was going all in to try and get this clearly pregnant and probably involved woman. But it felt so natural and easy, it just came out, plus who could see the woman and not try?
There came that laugh she heard from the nurse station, full and warm, it painted every one of Gail's insides with joy and adoration.
She came as close as she could to Gail's ear. "I can show you again once you're all healed, it might be the last time I can properly for awhile."
It would have given the proper effect if it wasn't for the total, overwhelming confusion that racked her body, leaving her shocked still.
The brunette must have sensed it and backed off, looking at her worriedly.
"What? What's wrong Sweetie? Did I hurt you?" She was almost in hysterics.
"What?" Gail stared right into her eyes.
"What, what?"
"You keep talking like you know me, like I know you, but I don't and it's starting to freak me out-"
"Okay, Gail, if this is one of your stupid mean jokes it's not funny. Please stop." Her beautiful face went from confused concern to slowly creeping fear.
"You're right, it's not funny" she stated slowly. The woman relaxed a bit. "But I'm not the one playing jokes here, you're the one playing around."
Her entire demeanour dropped and she took a few steps back, covering her mouth with her hand, the glass of water completely forgotten as it hit the floor. Man this girl can commit, Gail thought.
"You-you don't know who I am?" She breathed.
Gail shook her head slowly, she didn't like the way the brunette was looking, it was making her nervous. She was -really- pregnant and looked like she really should have been sitting, like she was about to fall over any second from shock. Gail frantically looked around for the button to call the nurses, she couldn't talk above a soft voice so yelling for one was out of the question. Once she located the button she pressed it as fast as she could, over and over and over, until a redhead appeared.
Gail pointed to the brunette, "she needs to sit."
The nurse immediately went to the brunettes side and used herself as a crutch until she was sitting on the little couch at the wall at the end of Gail's bed.
"Dizzy spell?" The nurse asked Gail as she approached the bed.
"She doesn't know who I am." The woman whispered in disbelief, drawing the attention back to her. The nurse whipped around to look at the brunette, "pardon?"
"Gail, she-she doesn't know who I am. How can she" she trailed off as an almost sob burst from her throat. The sound sent a pang to Gail's chest.
"I'll be right back, I need to call Dr. O'Connally." The nurse rushed out of the room, leaving a silently crying pregnant woman with Gail unable to do anything.
She was so confused, she wanted answers but she wanted to comfort the brunette more. Gail wasn't good with those sorts of things though, she never had been, especially when it came to crying. But she had to try.
"Hey, um.." She realized she didn't know the brunettes name. "Beautiful, please don't cry. I can't do anything when I'm lying here and under demands to stay."
She peeked over her hands to meet Gail's stare and a small sad smile took over her features. "At least you still listen."
Gail smiled, joking, though sad and laced with heartbreak, was better than just crying.
"Just cutting the pretty girl some slack." Gail winked which earned her a small laugh.
"How can you still know how to comfort me when you can't remember?" She wondered aloud. Gail wasn't sure if it was a real question or just musings, it wasn't really a statement and not quite a question.
"I'm not sure, but I'll tell you that I have an overwhelming desire to comfort you and I'm not a comfy cozy person."
"Gail, happy to see you're up. I've been told you don't know who Holly is, is that right?" A tall man asked as he walked into the room, pen and paper at the ready.
Holly. She had a name. She smiled, it suited the brunette.
The man, Dr. O'Connally, went through an entire exam, physical and sociological. They went through everything she knew, from childhood to the last bits of her memory, people and places, work cases and so on. Gail was gapping the past few years of her life, told that it could be permeant or just temporary and they had to keep an eye on it. Something about how she hit her head really hard after being shot, and it was enough to cause a hairline fraction, not a big concern until now, plus the coma.
Then when the doctor left, Holly filled her in on everything.
Gail was married to Holly, their two year anniversary was in a few months. They met at a crime scene four years prior, and instantly they had a connection, Gail had even shared feelings at the end of the case -which she had laughed at until Holly told her the analogy. From there things progressed slowly, a stress releasing evening at the batting cages here, a plus one there, a Star Wars marathon here, an integration room kiss here and later there. Even being told the story Gail could tell how strong her feeling must have been for the brunette, she willingly talked about her feelings -although tough and uncomfortable-, she played sports, she stayed until nights end at a wedding, she did things she'd never usually do and it was all because of Holly. No wonder she put a ring on it.
The baby was theirs, they started trying after their first anniversary and Gail had gone undercover after their third try. The first was a miscarriage very early in, the second and third didn't take, so they went one more time just before Gail left. The uc job was supposed to be a couple months, no trouble, and she'd get back in plenty of time if the fourth one took.
They ran into some trouble during the uc, causing Gail to stay for an extra two months to deal with the added mess. Gail was on the last stretch when she was shot, and was in and out of a coma for the past month.
She'd woken up before, a few minutes Holly said, but she was all there and had made jokes about how pregnant Holly was. That part broke Gail. The way Holly's voice cracked, the way not knowing these things ripped at herself, it was killing her not being able to remember such important things.
How could she forget such a wonderful person? Her wife and child? The person she obviously trusted and loved enough to let in, get married, and decide to have a baby with. Gail had vowed never to make that mistake again, never get married, not after Nicholas. But she'd married this woman, this impossible woman, and they were going to have a baby. Gail was ripping at herself for forgetting, she felt horrible, and guilty. She was inflicting Holly with sadness she couldn't bare.
"I'm sorry." Gail whispered, barely audible. She meant it for Holly, but she didn't expect her to hear, she wasn't even sure if the brunette was still awake. She'd made Holly get onto the bed with her, Gail could see the exhaustion written all over her and knew she was going to crash soon, and the couch was too small for the pregnant woman to sleep on.
It was awkward to say the least.
Comfortable, because with every little touch brought a wave of warmth, a rush of something Gail had never experienced before. But they were tense. Really tense. Holly would flinch every time she touched Gail, every time her arm brushed the blondes, she didn't make eye contact, and she apologized profusely when her baby bump would accidentally touch her.
Gail hated that Holly felt the need to be so distant, to apologize with every brush of skin. She hated that Holly had all of this crap happen to her, let alone while pregnant. She hated herself for being the cause of it all. Why would she go under cover after just impregnating her wife, even if just for a little while, she knew no matter how easy and simple a case that it could go belly up at any moment. She knowingly left Holly, pregnant, and alone.
How could she do that to the wonderful woman cuddled into her shoulder?