Observation
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Word Count: 630
Status: Complete
Summary: Jim observes the changes in Bones as the Enterprise limps home after defeating the Narada.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise, I don't own.
A/N: Kind of a sequel to F.W.B though you don't need to read that one first.
Observation
There're whispers going through the crew. Despite all the grief and double-shifts being pulled to deal with the sheer amount of work that needs doing, the whispers continue as the Enterprise limps it's way home. Whispers of human nature and heroes long since dead. With each whisper they glance at Jim as he pretends that he can't hear. There's a sort of hero worship culture building that's equal parts reassuring and disconcerting. They believed the crisis had changed him into a responsible captain, the type that would willingly sacrifice themselves for their ship.
History repeating.
Jim couldn't see the change. He'd hurled himself through event after event and only dumb luck and determined optimism had let him come through. It could have happened to anyone. He hadn't done anything particularly brave, hadn't even hesitated long enough to think of the consequences until they'd become redundant. Nero had wanted him dead and the earth destroyed. All Jim had done was survived.
Survival. It had defined him since birth and then persistently dogged him throughout his childhood.
No Jim hadn't changed. He was pulling double-shifts, he barely had enough time to sleep let alone anything else. Things would go back to the way they were at the academy as soon as they reached Earth. Though he didn't think he'd have to put up with the sly comments about how he'd gotten his good grades anymore. Right now, Jim just focussed on getting every single one of these gossiping crewmembers home alive, offering his services wherever they were needed.
He often found himself offering up a hand in medical. With almost a third of the medical staff lost in the initial blast from Nero, the med-bay was so understaffed that anyone with even half a brain and a pair of hands was put to work. Bones was run off his feet as CMO and Jim was glad to do anything to relieve some of the pressure off his best friend.
Jim had discovered years ago that Bones was some kind of medical genius, but at the academy clinic he'd been treated as a cadet rather than the fully qualified doctor that he was. It had been a source of much drunken complaining. But now, the more Jim watched Bones work the more he felt something had changed since they'd come aboard the Enterprise.
Bones was no longer the tired cadet that Jim used to drag out drinking. Here in control of the med-bay, Bones was the man he was supposed to be: driven, focussed and intent on providing the best care for every single person to pass through the doors. The changes lingered in the early hours of Gamma shift as they clung to each other in the quarters Bones had been assigned. Bones was confident, the shadows of his past falling away as he laid claim to Jim. Late at night with the doctor pressed firmly against him and arms possessively wrapped around his waist, Jim can almost pretend their back in Bones' apartment and none of this nightmare ever happened.
No one else noticed the change in Bones, but Jim did and it fascinated him. Even after the crisis faded as they drew closer to Earth, Jim would find reasons to hang out in medical to watch Bones work. He was a man born from the fire of crisis and battle. Bones put such passion into his work that it shone through with purpose, but Jim could see the same emotions present each night as Bones closed in for a kiss.
It took the destruction of half of the fleet and a planet, but Jim could now see what an idiot he'd been.
Maybe, just maybe, when they got back to Earth things wouldn't be the same after all.
A/N: Okay, so I was originally going to rework this, but it's been sitting untouched on my hard drive for over six months now and whatever it was that bugged me about it isn't overly obvious anymore. So just figured I'd post before I let my attention be completely taken over by other fandoms. Let me know what you guys think. Tam.