Well my lovely muse wrote a most beautiful fic and dedicated it to me and I was listening to a song: Before The Dawn by Evanescence (which I totally am in love with right now) and this fic came to mind after the recent manga happenings and so I wrote it. If you can please find someway to listen to the song while reading because I am told they just fit together so perfectly and anyway I was in a heartbreak mood and so I wrote this as a thank you to my muse.
Trinnerti this ones for you doll. I can't thank you enough for everything but it's a start and I hope you like it! Love ya hun! xx
xXx
Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
"Sakura." A soft voice whispered in her ear, as warm breath washed over her neck.
She awoke from the deep void that had over taken her, her tear filled eyes red and sore, it had been to hard for to fall asleep last night, she had finally worn herself out and cried herself to sleep, tears slipping down her peachy coloured skin even as she slept. She started, she knew that voice! She knew it far to well… but it wasn't possible… He couldn't be here with her, he couldn't be so close, so real… he was dead. He'd left her alone again and taken her heart and soul with him even though he hadn't ever known it and she'd be whole again. The pitch black darkness was pushed away by a faintly glowing light and she could see… she could see him!
She sat up her tear stained face looking so young and so utterly broken as she turned to face him. She tried to speak but her voice cracked into choked out sobs once more. That shock of silver hair, the crinkle in his eye, the lips curved up into that all knowing smirk, he was exactly as she remembered, the way she'd seen him that one last time before he'd been sent on the mission that killed him.
I am nothing more than to see you there
"Kakashi?" She breathed, fresh tears tracking down her face as she gazed up into the face of the man she'd loved so dear and yet dared not tell.
"Sakura. I'm sorry, I never got the chance to say to all the things I should have said to you. I thought I'd have a chance to you tell you one day but that was not be. I should have told you how proud of you I was, how special you were… and how much I… loved you."
Her breath died in her throat as she felt her heart skip a beat before it cracked all over again. Even if that were all true, it couldn't be anymore, they could never be. They belonged to two different worlds now, hers a world of pain, darkness and despair without anyone to light it and his a world of peace serenity and the friends and ones he'd held to him so dear and she wrapped her arms around herself as she hugged her own body, unable to look at him right now.
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
"Sakura, look at me. I'm here, I have this one chance to tell you these things. This night is ours and no one can take it from us." He bent down and kneeled before her, his hand upon her chin as he drew her face to his, jade green eyes that used to be so full of love and passion now filled with the shadows of pain and regret, eyes that were dead…
"Kakashi…" she whispered as she finally threw her arms his neck and buried her face in his strong chest. "Why did you leave me again? Why couldn't you stay with me? I… I wanted to be with you. I wanted to love you… Why did they take you away from me again?"
"It was my time. I loved you so much blossom but I never told you because…"
"We could never be." She finished raising pain filled eyes to his onyx one and he nodded briefly.
"I was never any good for you Sakura. People would have never accepted us, it would have been wrong to them."
"I know." She replied smiling sadly, as the tears still tracked down her cheeks.
We'll be lost before the dawn
"It doesn't mean I didn't love you in my own way. I loved you with everything I had but it was never in the way you deserved. I couldn't give you everything that you should have had." His dark eye remained the same as ever but, the torment was clear in his voice, he had tried so hard to do right by her and forsaken his own feelings just to see her happy.
"All I would have ever needed was to know that you cared in some way." She told him, a delicate hand brushing the masked skin of his cheek as she gazed at him with such love and a calm serenity now.
The inner strength he knew she had, the thing he admired most about her. The fact that no matter what life threw at her she fought back to claw her way to the surface, she never gave up on anyone no matter what they did to her she offered them love and understanding. She was so precious to him, so special but he knew he was right, he could have never given her everything she deserved. He was too far gone, too jaded to ever truly give her the life she should have had.
"Then know that I did and I will until the end of time." He replied, his voice tainted with the same sadness as hers.
If only night can hold you where I can see you, my love
She nodded and buried her face in his neck once more, clinging to him and holding him so close to her he could feel the heart beating within her breast. The heart that he knew was now scarred and broken because of him but it was for the best. She deserved someone better than him, and she'd find him someday but Kakashi was never meant to be that man and he'd known it since the day he'd fallen for her,
His mind drifted back to the night of her 18th birthday as he held close, sobs shaking her small body and he smiled. The sight of her in that black dress had been heaven and he'd sunk so deep it felt like he was drowning in his desire and love for her. He had no choice but to keep it to himself though and so he'd remained ever her teacher and more importantly… her friend.
"Yo."
She'd looked up as he entered the bar where her party was being held and she smiled that sweet smile that had every man in the room wishing he could be with her but she only looked at him, dashing forward she'd flung her arms around him with a squeal of "Kakashi-sensei!" and though he'd wanted so bad to correct her, to say "No Sakura, just Kakashi." He knew he couldn't because if she kept calling him sensei somehow it was easier to deal with, the crushing weight of his heart as it expanded in his chest to the point where he thought it would burst from his chest but he'd merely held her for the briefest of seconds and then ruffled her hair.
She'd pulled away with a squeak and batted his hand away as she yelped "Sensei!" and he gave her another eye crinkle, whilst inwardly he frowned, this was wrong, it hurt so bad, he couldn't be with her but he wanted to so bad….
Then let me never ever wake again
"How long can you stay?" She asked, her voice but a mere whisper on the wind and he sighed.
"I have this one night, one chance to show you what you meant to me. I'll be gone before the dawn. You'll wake in the morning and this will all seem like a dream." He whispered back his voice filled with the pain he felt as his heart sank like a lead balloon.
"Then let me never wake again." She sobbed out and he smiled, a true smile one that lit up his eye and she traced the line of his lips beneath the mask with one finger as she frowned.
Leaning forward she pressed her lips to his and he sighed. This was what he'd come for, why he'd been given this one chance to let her know how much he'd cared. Holding her close, their lips pressed against each others, this was his dream, his reality come true and yet he knew it couldn't last but for just one night he could be free and he knew they would both treasure this till the ends of time and beyond.
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn
"Will you stay with me tonight? I can't bear to be alone. I need you so much."
"Yes, I'll be here. You need to rest blossom." 'I need you to' He added silently in his head.
He couldn't say it to her it would be wrong, no matter how much this one night meant to him, how much he'd always needed her even though he hadn't realized it till it was to late, there was nothing he could do about it for in the morning he would be gone, a mere memory locked in the heart of a teenage girl he should never have loved.
Somehow I know that we can't wake again from this dream
"Can I have one thing before I sleep?" She asked softly, looking up into his face, her eyes soft and pleading.
"What?" He asked pulling away to take in every last inch of her, memorizing the sight. Something to keep him forever, to sustain him in the dark.
"Can I finally see you without the mask?" Her voice was shy now as she bit her lip, wondering how he would take that request.
A deep chuckle rumbled from him and he nodded. "Yes."
She smiled through her tears and slid her hands up, hooking her fingers under the fabric and slid it down agonisingly slow. She gasped as she took in every last feature, the tips of her fingers running over the pale skin. She lifted his hitae-ate and watched as the tomoe of his left eye spun in circles as he gazed at her.
He used his sharingan to take in every single expanse of her beauty and a sad smile lit upon his lips knowing that this would be the last time he'd ever see, hold her, the last time he'd ever feel the love rushing towards him from every fibre of her being.
It's not real, but it's ours
"I know all of this isn't real but I never want it to end." She told him as she slipped her hands into the mop of silver hair, so spiky and unruly and yet as soft as a feather as she massaged his scalp.
He captured her lips in a desperate kiss as his arms slipped around her waist and he lay her back upon the sheets. Leaning over her he smiled down and she returned his smile, eyes still shinning with tears but a real happiness upon her petal pink lips.
"It's ours, just be glad of that." He replied before he swooped down to press the softest kiss upon her lips, his tongue darting out and sweeping over the velvety skin of her mouth.
She parted her lips and allowed him entrance and the sweet taste of cherries and vanilla flooded his taste buds and he savoured every last inch of her hot, velvet mouth.
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
Both pulled away, slightly out of breath and gazed upon each other adoringly. "I don't know how to go on with out you Kakashi, I don't think I can, not now."
"You do. You have to or all of this will have been worth it. Don't lose yourself blossom, be the woman I know you are, strong, capable and with more love in her heart than I've ever known from anyone. Do it for me Sakura and I'll have died knowing that I lost myself to someone who truly deserved everything I wanted to give her."
We'll be lost before the dawn
"When the morning comes you'll be breaking my heart all over again."
He brushed the tears from her cheeks and kissed them away when more just took their place, her luminous skin shining like the stars as the moonlight glinted off them.
"You'll find someone else one day. He'll make you feel so special, that you'll wonder what you ever saw in me. And he'll fulfil every need and the ache will lessen I promise."
"I think you're full of bullshit again Kakashi. You never could tell the truth, no one will ever replace you." She replied as he lay beside her, pulling her so that her head rested against his chest, her arms around his neck as she cried herself to sleep, lost in his warmth.
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
He ran his hands through her shoulder length pink locks and whispered sadly to her as a single tear slipped from his own eye. "You will blossom. Someday you'll forget all about me and you'll heal or at the very least I'll be a fond memory of a time that you once held so dear and now only brings a wistful smile to your face."
He watched her sleep until the dawn rose, clear and bright and the suns rays warmed her skin as she blinked and reached out for him only to find an empty spot next to her still warm from his body and she picked up the navy blue hitae-ate that rested upon her pillow. Silent tears no longer of pain and loss but a love fulfilled albeit briefly and the knowledge that no matter how much it hurt and how much it seemed like a dream last night was real and it would always be with her. The love he'd held for would somehow help her move on and she was at peace now knowing that he was to.
We'll be lost before the dawn
As she sat above the Hokage monument that night, her eyes taking in the village she held so dear and she turned her eyes to the sky as the stars glittered in the dark void before her and she clutched his hitae-ate to her chest as she whispered her final goodbye.
"I don't care what you said Kakashi, I'll never forget you. I couldn't."
High above her she watched as one single star shone brighter than all the rest for a brief second and filled her with warmth. "I'll be with you one day, before the dawn comes, I will hold you again…"
xXx
R and R please? I'll bake Kakashi shaped cookies for you! I'd really like to know what people think of this one, so leave me a review if you wouldn't mind.