Finding Ghouls

By: Amy Elizabeth

Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter are sole property of J.K.Rowling no infringement or financial gain intended.

Rating: PG-13 for some medium language

A/N: This might be borderline crass but it was fun to write. Please enjoy! Also a big Thank you to everyone who has reviewed my other pieces. It's made writing an even bigger joy.

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Nymphadora Tonks had to go.

Go, go.

It was Saturday and, for the first time in weeks, she had a free Saturday afternoon. So she had decided, in her infinite kindness and generosity, to come help Molly and the kids clean up Grimmauld Place.

And maybe to see Remus a little, too.

Not that he was around. She sighed aloud. As soon as she finished this, she decided,she would set about finding him.

Discreetly, of course.

It was dreary outside anyway, she had reasoned, and the house was much more fun with all the kids together in it. Besides, it would be a lot less creepy to have meetings here once that clock stopped throwing bolts and the doxies stopped infesting the curtains. Though it was too bad they couldn't do anything about that damned House-Elf.

That damned House-Elf that was currently refusing to unlock the first floor bathroom.

She took a steadying breath, "Listen, Kreacher, I tried to make this easy but I'm going to have to order you to unlock the bathroom." She didn't know whom she was madder at, Kreacher for refusing to unlock the bathroom or herself since she couldn't figure out what he had done to the door that made so that she couldn't unlock it.

I'll just be mad at him for both.

Her face twisted into an irritated grimace as he muttered in response but refused to turn from the portrait he was polishing.

She had a feeling her hair had become more red than pink.

"Open it!" She hadn't meant to shout exactly but as her patience, and her bladder, began to wear thin she found she didn't really care.

The little hand didn't even pause over the frame, "Kreacher does not listen to the filthy Half-Blood."

That little…"You have to, Kreacher, you have to take orders from any member of the Black family. I hate to admit that I am but… "

"Filthy girl is not Mistress' family, no, no, no…" The Elf shuddered at the thought and continued to polish.

I'm not on that miserable Tapestry! She was about ready to go try and sew herself on there by hand.

"Fine, I'll go find Sirius, then." For a fleeting second she felt like kicking the infuriating little…Hermione would kill me. What was that organization she was telling me about…SPU…SPE…Anyway, he's lucky…

She charged up the stairs, throwing caution into the wind, and taking two at a time.

"Sirius!" The hallway was empty, "Sirius, answer me!" She spun around, hoping he would pop out of one of the doorways.

He can't leave the house! How hard can he be to find? She stopped; Ron and Harry had to have a bathroom on this floor. She began to try doorknobs.

Bedroom, bedroom…

She pushed the third door in the hallway open and stumbled back a little when steam came rushing out at her.

"Hey!" Her cheeks flushed as the startled voice of Ronald Weasley screeched from the shower, "I'm in here!"

Dear Merlin, is there no bathroom open in this massive house?

"Sorry, Ron!" She hastily slammed the door, "You should really lock that…" she muttered as she resumed her course to the third floor. That was going to be awkward at dinner.

Too bad it wasn't Remus.

She shook her head as she climbed the stairs. No time for those kinds of thoughts. Not until she found a bathroom that was….

Ah-hah! The twins had one on this floor. She flew to the third door, assuming it had to be the same set up as the floor below. After all, not a whole lot of originality seemed to flow through the Blacks, especially in house design.

She began to turn the doorknob; "I wouldn't go in there, if I were you." Fred, or maybe George, she didn't pretend to know at this point, stood at the entrance to his room. "We were testing the latest Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes product this morning and…" He looked a little perturbed, "It created a bit of a mess, we're going to try and replace the toilet tonight but the sink…"

This had to be a joke. A horrible, horrible prank.

She nodded at him once, unable to stop and make conversation, and turned to run back to the stairs, "Sirius! You prat, answer me!" She raced up the staircase, stumbled over the top stair, and went sprawling onto the landing.

Of course, you make it up flights of stairs and trip on the last bloody…

Bathroom. She had forgotten one was up here; no one used it. And that meant no one could possibly be using it now, or have destroyed it, and she doubted even Kreacher cared enough to mess with this one.

She ran inside, not bothering to lock the door. It was unlocked, not clean but usable, and blessedly free of anyone else. She yanked down her trousers and plunked down on the stool.

Thank dear Mer…Her scream could have woken the dead. Suddenly, a slimy hand wrapped around her leg, right above where her dropped pants bunched by her shoes, and two, sharp, buck- teeth sank into her thigh.

Pain laced up her leg, "Dear Merlin! Get off me you…" Unable to stand, she tried to reach around to her pocket and grab her wand when the door to the bathroom flew open.

"Stupefy!" Remus leveled his wand at the ghoul as it dropped to the floor, letting go of Tonks' leg. Surprise and concern were etched into his face, "I was in the other room with Buckbeak and Sirius, when we heard a scream. What are you doing up here?"

She pressed her hand to the wound, "I couldn't find an open bathroom." She glared down at the ghoul; "I thought that ghouls were supposed to be harmless, so why the hell did it bite me…"

She looked at her bitten leg. Her bare, bitten legShe was on the toilet. Remus was standing in the doorway.

This is too much.

They both seemed to notice at the same instant, "I, um…" He ducked his head, letting hair fall over his forehead, "They usually are. Though this one seems particularly…" He stopped and backed towards the door, "You know, we can discuss it in a minute; he should be out for a little while." She could hear the embarrassment in his voice but when she glanced at him to nod her agreement she noticed the deep twinkle of amusement in his eyes, "And I'll be glad to have a look at that leg for you, when you're done." He cast a glance she could only call appreciative at her bare legs.

Did he just wink at me? She stared in open mouth shock at the now closed door.

She glared again at the unconscious, drooling, bald-headed creature on the floor, uncertain if she should be grateful or mortally embarrassed, "Either way," she muttered towards the ghoul as she pulled her trousers back up, "I'm staying all afternoon until I make sure I get you back for that"