Hello there, followers of mine! I had a day off, overwhelming Ten feels, and my laptop, so I just sort of worked this out. The song is When She Loved Me, written by Randy Newman and originally performed by Sarah McLachlan. It was stuck in my head, and it was making me cry (still does) because its so sad, so beautiful, and so perfect for Mickey/Rose or Doctor/Rose, so I needed to do something with it. Enjoy, and please review! I can't write stuff that people like more if they don't tell me what they liked or disliked!
Late one night, probably about 1am where the TARDIS was currently landed, Martha Jones was woken by soft music and a rustle-y noise like fabric on fabric coming from the Doctor's bedroom. She rolled out of bed and slipped out her door, curious as to where these sounds were coming from so early in the morning. She knew the Doctor was a morning person, but from the hour, she suspected that he'd never gone to sleep, rather than just woken up early. This was unlike him, waking up in the middle of the night, and she worried he might be sick. As she crept closer to his bedroom door, the music and rustle-y sound got clearer. She began to recognize the warm tones of an acoustic guitar, (since when did he play?) and the rustling appeared to be… sniffling? Was the big, brave, last-of-the-time-lords Doctor crying? It broke Martha's heart to hear. She silently maneuvered herself into a strategic position in which she could see him, but he wouldn't see her. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the foot of his bed, his guitar in his lap. As she watched, he did something totally unexpected, which, she realized, must have been what woke her up; he'd never done anything like this before. In addition to his strummed chords, he began to sing softly, deep sadness and pain evident in his voice.
When somebody loved me,
everything was beautiful. *sniffle*
Ev'ry hour we spent together
lives within my heart.
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears,
and when she was happy, so was I.
When she loved me…
He paused and took a huge, shuddering gasp of air and swallowed before continuing.
Through the summer and the fall,
we had each other, that was all.
Just she and I together, *sniffle*
like it was meant to be.
So the years went by, I stayed the same,
but she began to drift away.
His breath came in agonized, groaning gasps at the end of each line, and tears streamed down his cheeks like a pair of miniature rivers.
I was left alone.
Still I waited for the day
when she'd say
The music abruptly cut off, and he hesitated, as if he couldn't force himself to go on. When he continued, he spoke the words instead of singing them. His voice was entirely overcome with pain and grief and sorrow, so that they came out as barely more than an agonized whisper.
I will always love you.
Martha saw the Doctor slump over his guitar and begin to sob quietly into his folded arms. His shoulders shook and he whimpered like a child. He started gasping something through his tears, something rather unclear. Gradually, he calmed down a bit. He put his elbows up on the side of his instrument and his chin in his hands. Tears still streamed from his big, deep, chocolate-y eyes.
"Oh, Rose. It was all my fault." he sighed. He put his face in his hands and let his shoulders heave as he took huge, shuddering gasps of air. Martha stood outside the door with tears moistening her own face. That was the precise moment she became aware of just how broken the Doctor was, and how much he loved his Rose. She knew she would never get anything from him, but she decided then and there to stay with him until he had healed enough to be on his own. Sometimes he seemed to forget that he needed someone.
Not that he needs help, she thought, just sometimes he needs someone to hold his hand.