Title: Smoke & Peppermint

Author: B R Cary

Summary: "You were this, you were that. You were nothing that I lacked. You have me fooled for some time, but you're not the end I had in mind."

Author's Note: The title of this story comes from the song of the same name. It's by the group Fabrik. The song will be used in the story, but this is not a song fic, per se.

This story takes place during "Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days", but is my take on what should have happened so some changes to the episode will be made.

Smoke & Peppermint

Lorelai hung the phone and just sat staring at it. Could Rory be right? Was she still upset about Chris and Sherrie? And had she really meant what she told Chris in Luke's that day several weeks ago when said she waiting for him to grow up and that was why none of her relationships ever seemed to work out? She didn't like the thought of that at all. Then the dream came back to her. Could she really be waiting on the perfect family – mom, dad, and kid? Was that what she was waiting on and did she truly want that with Chris? Was that why she disliked Sherrie so much? Because like Emily had said, Sherrie was the one who got the changed Chris?

Trying to distract her thoughts, Lorelai turned on the TV and started flipping the channels. As she passed one of the music channels, a girl with black hair caught her eye. The girl reminded Lorelai much of herself back in the 80's, right down to the colorful streaks that she had liked to experiment with, much to Emily's horror. Then the girl started to sing and the haunting melody caught her attention as did the words of the song.

You're like peppermint on a cold, cold day

To hard to handle, but oh so sweet.

You're second hand smoke

Not quite original, but oh so oh so deadly.

You're coffee black

You keep me awake, but you leave an awful stain.

You're treated cancer

Dormant now, but the remembrance of you remains.

You were this, you were that

You were nothing that I lacked.

You had me fooled for some time.

You're not the end I had in mind.

You're a paper cut on the tip of my finger.

A small tragedy, but oh so painful.

You're like flowers on a special occasion,

But in a funeral's connotation.

You're a heartfelt apology with sarcastic lament

You are cause

And I'm effected by your cruel intent.

As Lorelai sat and listened to the words of the song, she at once thought how appropriately they seemed to fit her relationship with Chris. Just when she thought she was over him, he would show up and suddenly her world would be turned upside down once again. No matter what he did, she always forgave him and let him in, only to end up hurt. He was like a drug and she never seemed to be able to get enough of him. But was that what she wanted? Did she always want to be waiting around for him, waiting for whatever he tossed her way like some dog waiting for table scraps? What had happened to her pride and her dignity? Had she truly broken up with Max, a guy who loved her in the hopes that one day Chris would come running back to her? If that was what she wanted, then why hadn't she taken Chris up on his offer of marriage when he had proposed for the second time? Is that the end she truly wanted? And if she truly did want Chris, than why had she dreamed about Luke? Why was he the one making her breakfast and hiding her regular coffee? If she had wanted to be with Chris, wouldn't she have dreamed about him?

All this was causing Lorelai to get a headache. Making her way to the kitchen, she started to make herself some coffee, but this only caused the dream to come back to her even more. It had felt so nice, so natural to walk into her kitchen and see Luke standing there. It was like he just belonged there. Lorelai remembered when Chris had come about a year and a half ago and had stayed with him. It had felt so weird to wake up and have him in her home. She had tried to pass if off to the fact that there had never been a man in the house overnight before, but now she wondered if that was the case. And how did she explain the weirdness she felt when had been Max in her home. She had been engaged to marry him and she had spent the only night he had stayed in her room down with her daughter. But having Luke in her home had never felt weird or awkward. Maybe that was because he had never been here in a romantic capacity.

Suddenly, Lorelai knew what she had to do. She needed to see Luke, to talk to him again after the weeks of silence between them. He always seemed to be able to make things better, to make them make sense. Turning off the coffee maker, she walked out the door and headed toward the diner. She was thankful it was late enough in the evening for most of Stars Hollow to be home. That meant Luke's would most likely be empty. As she approached the diner, she saw she had been right. Luke was the only one there. Just seeing him caused all the confusion she had been feeling to start to clear. She cautiously opened the door and without even looking up from where he was cleaning the coffee maker, Luke said, "We're closing in five minutes and the grill is already off."

"Though your food is good, that's not what I came for," Lorelai answered.

Luke turned around and looked at Lorelai. As he did, she could have sworn she saw a flicker of happiness cross his face, but when then when he scowled at her, she though she must have been mistaken. "The coffee maker is already off and cleaned."

"Again, that's not what I'm here for."

Sighing, Luke leaned against the counter. "Then what are you here for, Lorelai? To yell at me again?"

"No," Lorelai answered softly. "And I want to say I'm sorry for that. I was worried about Rory, but that was no reason to have taken it all out on you."

"No, it wasn't," Luke shot back. "It wasn't like I wasn't worried about her myself. I care about her, too, you know?"

"I know. I was just so angry about Jess that I took all my frustrations put on the person closest to him since he wasn't around. Again, I'm sorry. It wasn't fair to you. All I could thing was that if you hadn't asked Rory to tutor Jess than she would not have gotten hurt, but she is a big girl and it was her decision to get in the car."

Luke sighed again, but it sounded like a sigh of resignation. "I knew you were worried, so I shouldn't have yelled back. It just felt like you were accusing me of not caring about Rory. But you also have to remember that Jess is my nephew, so I'm going to be concerned about him, too."

"As you should have been. You were, in all regards, Jess' parent, so it was only natural for you to be concerned about his safety." Lorelai paused for a moment. "So, are we okay now?"

Luke shot Lorelai one of his rare smiles. "Yeah, I think we are okay now." He turned toward the cake stand and opened it. "So, would you like some pie?"

Smiling back, Lorelai said, "Need you ask?"

Rolling his eyes, Luke answered, "Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to."

Lorelai just laughed, glad she and Luke were talking again. As Luke got her promised piece of pie, she sat and watched him. As she sat starting at him, she noticed things about him that she never had before. Like had his eyelashes always been that long? Or his eyes so blue? Had his voice always been that deep and had it always had that sexy quality to it? Then the dream came to mind and she thought of several more questions. What would it be like to be married to Luke? Would their friendship and banter carry over into a relationship? Would kissing him feel as nice as it had in the dream? She was suddenly brought back to the present by Luke asking, "Okay, what are you staring at?"

"Oh, sorry," Lorelai quickly replied. "I didn't even realize that I was. I was thinking about a dream I had."

"It must have been a really good dream if it caused you to space out just thinking about it," Luke said as he sat Lorelai's pie down in front of her."

As Lorelai took a bit of pie, she debated telling Luke about the dream, then decided for once she wasn't going to hide what she was feeling. "It was about you, actually. Well, not totally about you, but you were in it."

Luke dropped the rag he had been using to wipe down the counters. "You were dreaming about me?" His surprise was evident in his voice.

"Yep, you. The dream started with me being awoke by a room full of clocks. I walked down the stairs and found you in the kitchen making breakfast. After yelling at you for all the clocks, I realized that you had switched my coffee to decaf, but I found the regular hidden under the sink. You then talked to my stomach and headed off to work," Lorelai said, leaving out the part where Dream Luke had kissed her good-bye.

"And why did I talk to your stomach?" Luke asked.

"I was pregnant with twins."

"Mine?"

"Of course. Didn't I mention that we were married in the dream?" It was Lorelai's turn to ask.

"Uh, no. You managed to leave that little detail out," Luke said as he leaned against the counter.

"Rory thinks it means that I'm jealous because Chris and his girlfriend, Sherrie, are going to have a baby. Did you know when he was here a few weeks ago he told me he had broken up with Sherrie and that he wanted to get back together with me. And like an idiot, I believed him and agreed. He had Rory all excited about it. My parents were ecstatic. Then right before Sookie is set to walk down the aisle, he tells me that Sherrie just called to tell him she was pregnant and that he feels he needs to be there for her. So, once again, Rory and I are pushed to the side so he can go off and pursue whatever he wants to, without any thought or concern about what we might want or need," Lorelai finished, all her anger at Chris rising to the surface again.

Luke crossed the counter to sit beside Lorelai. "Maybe Rory was right. Maybe it wasn't me in the dream, but Chris."

"Luke, I know you when I see you. It was you," Lorelai answered.

"But maybe it wasn't supposed to me be."

Lorelai thought she heard a hint of sadness in Luke's voice. She suddenly felt she had to reassure him the Chris ship had finally sailed for the last time. If Chris wanted Sherrie, she could have him. "No," she said, "I don't think that's it. I was watching TV right before I came here and there was a song playing that said, 'You had me fooled for some time, but you're not the end I had in mind.' I realize that is how I feel about Chris. He might have been a beginning and could have been an entertaining middle, but he is not end material – at least the type of end I want. And while I am angry at him for getting Rory's hopes up, and even mine at bit, I'm all right with him not being in my life in a romantic way. I beginning to realize he was never meant to be."

Luke was quiet for a moment, ant then replied, "You deserve to have the entire package – beginning, middle, and the end you want."

Setting her fork down on her now empty pie plate, Lorelai turn to face Luke. "Have you ever thought about it?"

A confused look crossed Luke's face. "Thought about what?"

"Getting the whole package. Have you ever thought about what kind of beginning, middle, and end you want?"

Nodding, Luke said, "Sometimes, but I try not to dwell on it too much. What about you?"

It was Lorelai's turn to nod. "Yeah, I have. It would be nice to have someone I could talk to, someone who understands me, but doesn't try to change me. I've already had enough of that in my life. But mostly I want someone who realizes that Rory is also part of the package. I mean, even though she is mostly grown, she will always be my daughter and a very important part of my life."

"Anyone who couldn't accept Rory is someone you wouldn't want anyway. She's a great kid and you have every reason to be a proud parent. But aside from that, anyone who couldn't accept that right now Rory has to come first isn't anyone worth dating, at least in my opinion."

Lorelai sat there for a moment thinking about what Luke had said. Then it hit her. Luke. Luke was the man she had just described. Rory had been right about with her first analysis of the dream. She did want to be with Luke. She knew he cared about Rory. That much was clear from what he had just said. He had always been there for both her and Rory. He as one of her best friends and though he did try to change her eating habits, he never tried to change her. He was kind without being a pushover. He was sensitive, but still extremely manly. He was protective without being smothering or overbearing. He had a wonderfully sarcastic sense of humor that could match her quip for quip. Why hadn't she seen it before? With her new found insight, she looked up at Luke. "Would you ever date a woman who had a child?"

Without hesitation, Luke replied," Yes."

Lorelai's heart speed up. Maybe everyone had been right. Maybe Luke did have feelings for her. "Would you date a woman who had a teenager?"

Again, no hesitation. "Yes."

Lorelai decided to lay it all on the line, no holding back. "Would you ever date me?" she asked softly, not realizing she had moved closer to Luke.

Looking Lorelai directly in the eye, Luke responded," Yes."

Then before she fully realized what had happened, Lorelai was in Luke's arms and they were kissing. And the answer to her earlier question was that kissing Luke was even better than it had been in her dream. In the dream she hadn't been surrounded by his scent, which was warm and manly. Nor had she known having Luke's arms around her would give her the feeling of ultimate security. For the first time in her life, she wanted to know everything she could about a man – his hopes, his dreams, his deepest desires, his secrets, his hurts, and his joys. She wanted to know all there was to know about one Lucas Danes. She pulled back reluctantly and looked Luke in the eyes. She noticed she had never seen him look so happy. "Wow," was all she said.

"Yeah, wow."

"If I had known kissing you would be that good, I would have done it sooner."

This caused Luke to laugh, a sound Lorelai found she could get very used to. "I wouldn't have complained. I've been open to this for a while now."

Lorelai suddenly felt bad as she remembered all the times she had complained to Luke about other guys or had paraded them in front of him. Though she never meant to, that must have hurt him. "I'm sorry. I haven't been very fair to you, have I?"

Luke stepped back a little, but kept his arm around Lorelai's waist. "What do you mean?"

"You just admitted that you've thought about you and me being a you and me. And here I have come to you so many times, including tonight, complaining about other guys. It hasn't been fair to you."

Reaching out, Luke tucked a strand of hair behind Lorelai's ear. "I'll admit I've hated hearing you talk about or seeing you with other guys, but it wasn't like I had told you what I was feeling. How were you to know that I wanted there to be an us? I just wanted to be there for you, no matter what."

"Why?" Lorelai inquired.

"Because I care," Luke answered simply.

"But why? Why do you care about me so much?"

Luke shrugged. "I can't explain why I do, Lorelai. I just do."

"I'm just not used to having anyone care so much about me," Lorelai admitted, quietly.

"Lorelai, this entire town adores you. And Rory loves you," Luke pointed out.

Lorelai looked down at the floor, and then back up at Luke. "But it's not the same. I've never had a guy care about me the way you do. You see me as I really am. I can't hide with you. I find that I don't want to. And that scares me."

"Are you afraid that I will use what I learn against you?"

Lorelai shook her head. "No. I'm scared that you'll leave. These last few weeks without you have been really hard. At first, I thought I was upset over the whole Chris thing, but that dream and being here with you tonight has made me realize it was you I missed, that it was you I wanted to have a chance with. I had my chance with Chris and I never took it because it wasn't the right time. I think this time I decided to go for it because I knew deep down it would last, he wasn't the one I was supposed to be with. If I tried and failed, it wouldn't really matter because he didn't matter. But with you, it counts."

Luke ran his hand down Lorelai's cheek. "Lorelai, I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere. Yes, I do see you, but I like what I see – coffee addiction and all. And don't you think it's just as scary for me? Just as you say I know you, you know me just as well. I've shown you things about myself that not even Rachel got to see. I've let you in deeper than anyone I've everyone I've ever known before. I think you know me better than even my parents did. I don't trust easily, but I trust you."

Lorelai smiled. "So, we're really going to do this. We're going to cross the line."

Luke raised one eyebrow. "Do you really want to go back to the way we were?"

Lorelai's smile turned into a sly grin. "Now that I know how well you kiss, not really."

Laughing softly, Luke proceeded to further demonstrate his abilities.

Author's Note: This is something that I had sitting in my pile of stories for a while now so I figured I would type it up. Please review and let me know what you think. I live for the reviews!!