Charmed Life
Summary: A post-finale fic that chronicles P/J's life together as well as fill in some of the missing blanks. Just how did Pacey and Joey come to be sitting on that couch together? Read on and see.
Disclaimer: Dawson's Creek and its characters don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them to do my bidding. ;)
~*~
Folding her arms around her waist, Joey leaned awkwardly against the oak wall of the Ice House, shivering as the salty Capeside wind assaulted her. She felt barren, stripped of her usual defenses. It had only been hours since Jen's funeral, and already it seemed like a lifetime. So much had happened, so much had changed; it was only now beginning to catch up with her.
"Jo? You still out here?"
Pacey's gentle voice shook her from her thoughts, and she looked up. "Yeah," she said, standing up. "You didn't think I was going to leave, did you?"
This was the first time they had been alone since their conversation earlier that afternoon. The conversation where many things had been left unsaid. She had wanted to speak with him before now, but so many things kept getting in the way. The wake, for starters. People hadn't started clearing out until late; leaving only Pacey and a few waiters behind to clean up. Joey had agreed to stick around until he had time to talk, although Pacey insisted that she go home and get some rest. In the end, Joey had ended up winning. The past few hours had been spent sitting around outside munching on veggies and crab dip, contemplating the day's events.
"With your stubborn streak? Nah," he chuckled, shooting her a sideways glance out of the corner of his eye. Then, taking in her disheveled appearance, his tone turned serious. "You really didn't have to stick around, though. This could have waited until morning."
Joey shook her head, touched that he showed such concern for her. "I wanted to talk about this now. I'm tired of waiting, it feels like I've been waiting years to have this conversation."
"I know what you mean. It's just." Pacey struggled to find the right words, nervously toying with the cuff of his shirt. "I guess I was worried that you had changed your mind, and I wanted to live with the fantasy just a little bit longer."
"Pace! How could you even think that?" She moved over to where he was standing, grasping his hands within her own. She felt his fingers tremble slightly, and she held onto them tighter. "Everything I said before still holds true. We never got to finish our conversation, but I think it was pretty obvious what I was going to say."
"Cut the suspense, Jo. You're killing me," Pacey laughed, squeezing her hands. Joey was overcome with sudden warmth, and she felt a smile spread across her face. Overhead the sun was beginning to set; the sky a purplish tint. Capeside had never looked more beautiful than it had at that moment. She felt blessed to have lived here, despite all its ups and downs.
Instead of talking, Joey leaned in and rested her lips against his; wrapping her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. She caught the surprised expression on his face and inwardly smiled. Catching him off guard like this was really quite fun.
The kiss ended, and she pulled back, grinning. "Well?"
"Wow," he breathed.
She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Does that answer your question?"
"I don't know," he tapped his chin, pretending to be deep in concentration. "I think I'm going to need a further demonstration."
"You're never satisfied, are you? We're probably going to end up here all night," she teased playfully.
He growled at her. "Fine by me."
"Pace." she said after a moment, shifting back from his embrace to look him in the eye. "Should we even be doing this? I mean, I just feel so guilty. Jen's funeral was only today."
"You have nothing to feel guilty over," Pacey assured her, gently massaging her shoulders. She groaned, feeling her muscles relax. It had been such a long day, and his fingers felt so good-
"I know, it's just."
"Jen would want you to be happy," he pointed out. "That's the type of person she was. Always putting others needs ahead of her own."
Joey nodded, thinking how much that sounded like Jen.. "Do you know what her dying wish was? To have me finally make a choice, to move on with my life and be happy. She was lying there; about to die in a few hours and all she could think about was-" she choked back a sob, her throat tightening. "God," she said, her voice shaking. "I really miss her."
Pacey wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body into a comforting hug. She felt sobs wrack her body as she leaned against him. "So do I. I can't even believe she's gone. It just. it doesn't seem real, you know?"
Joey nodded, tears clouding her vision. Her hands trembled as she brushed a wayward strand of hair back into place. "It hasn't quite set in for me either. I don't think it ever will. I just keep thinking about all the missed opportunities; all the time we could have spent together but didn't. She tried so hard to be my friend, but, being the jealous wench that I am, all I could do was push her away."
"That's not true, Jo," Pacey took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You were young, and so what if you let some teenage hormones get the best of you? We've all been there. I'm sure Jen never held it against you. In fact, I know she didn't."
Tears filled Joey's eyes, but this time they were of the grateful kind. "Thanks, Pace. I don't know how you've managed to stay so strong throughout all of this."
"If you only knew how many times I was close to breaking down throughout all of this-"
"But you haven't," Joey interrupted, brushing her thumb against his cheek. "You've just been this amazing person. And honestly, without you, I don't know if I would have lasted this long."
"That's not true, Jo. You're a strong person. You'd have gotten through this just fine without me."
Joey shrugged, not looking convinced. "Maybe," she said, before pausing for a moment. "But I'm glad I didn't have to."
"That makes two of us," he said, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. She giggled. "What?" he asked.
"It's just. you always know how to make me feel better. I can only imagine the depressing slump I would have been in right now if it weren't for you."
"Glad I could help take your mind off things," he said, stroking her hair. "So what have you been doing these last few hours while you've been waiting for me?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing much. Did a lot of thinking. About. us, mostly. I know that sounds selfish, to be thinking of my relationship problems at a time like this, but I couldn't help it. I kept thinking about that conversation we never got to finish." She fidgeted nervously, unsure.
"I would be lying if I said I didn't think about you nearly every second of the day."
His kind words caused her to blush. "Pace, I really want this to work. I-I called Christopher, you know. He's no longer an issue. But, I don't think that's the only thing we have to worry about." She chewed on her lip nervously, a thousand thoughts flying through her head. He wasn't going to like this, but it had to be addressed. They couldn't just sweep it into a corner and pretend it didn't exist. That's what had gotten them in trouble the last time.
"What?" Pacey asked, his voice betraying his fear.
"Well, there's always the issue of living arrangements." Joey shifted nervously, not wanting to discuss this. She just wanted to enjoy her happiness with Pacey, not dwell on problems she wasn't even sure could be fixed. "I'm living in New York, and you have your restaurant here, so where does that leave us?"
"That does provide some difficulties," he agreed.
"Pace, I can't ask you to pack up and move to New York just to be with me. You've built an entire life here, I can't do that to you-"
"That's not exactly your choice to make," he said softly, pain flashing across his face. She knew how much this was hurting him, but she didn't know what else to do. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place.
"I'm not going to let you wreck your life just to be with me."
"You wouldn't be wrecking my life; you would be making it better. Other opportunities will present themselves, Jo. I'll find another job. But I'm afraid I'm never gonna find anybody I love as much as you. I'm afraid that if we part ways now, we'll never get another chance at this. So please, let me decide what's best for me."
Joey nodded, turning towards him. He seemed so confident in what he was saying, so sure. "Okay, Pace, if you're sure you really mean this."
"I do."
A lopsided smile traced the corners of her lips. "Then who am I to argue with you?"
He grinned, his face seeming to relax. She was glad they had gotten that out of the way - now they could move onto making better, happier memories. So much sadness had occurred in the past few days, she wasn't sure if she could handle anymore grief.
Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her waist; picking her up and spinning her around. She squealed wildly, beating on his shoulders in protest. In reality, she could have continued spinning forever. The world spun around her in a dizzying blur, and she gave wild laugh before he set her back down again.
"Are you insane?" she asked giddily once she was firmly back on the ground. Attempting to compose herself, she let out a long breath, feeling calm wash over her.
He draped an arm across her shoulders before flashing her a cocky smile. "Maybe. But you love me anyway."
She pretended to make a gagging motion with her fingers, all the while knowing what he said was the truth. "Ugh, don't remind me. I guess the saying is true, you really don't get to choose who you fall in love with. In my case, love is blind, deaf [I]and[/I] dumb."
Picking up his jacket, he slung it over the back of her shoulders. "C'mon, let's get out of here."
"Translation: I'm horny and can't wait to get you into bed."
"Shut up."
She rolled her eyes. "Is it my fault that I happen to be in tune with the inner workings of the male mind?"
For the next while, they both remained in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company.
Walking along the streets of Capeside, hand and hand, Joey was struck by how nice this all was. How normal. As if they were an old married couple, out for a stroll on a perfectly normal day. It seemed like no time had passed at all since they had last seen each other. She couldn't believe it had actually been several months.
They stopped outside the Potter B&B where Joey was currently staying with Bessie. She turned to face him, smiling soothingly. He looked hesitant, as if uncertain whether or not he should enter. "Come inside," she urged, her voice a gentle whisper in the chilly ocean breeze.
Still looking unsure, he frowned. "I'm not sure if I should."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to get any unrealistic expectations about what the night may bring." He forced a smile, but she knew he was only humoring her. She knew how serious he truly was.
"Pace, let's just go upstairs, sit by the bed, and talk. Maybe we'll even throw in some cocoa if we're really feeling daring." She cracked a grin, trying to lighten the mood.
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to-"
"Hey," she said, squeezing his hand. "It's okay. I'm perfectly alright with where this night may or may not lead. Let's just go with the flow and not worry so much about things."
Pacey nodded. He gripped her hand tightly, running his fingers over her knuckles. "You're right. I'm being foolish."
Making their way up the walkway, they noticed that the porch light was on. Bessie must still be up, Joey figured.
Sure enough, she was there to greet them when they knocked at the door.
"Hey, you two," she said coyly, ushering them inside. "Come inside. Man, it's freezing out here."
"Yeah." Joey shrugged off Pacey's jean jacket, depositing it on a coat hanger.
"But I suppose you two didn't notice."
Pacey and Joey exchanged a glance.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Joey asked, trying to sound innocent. She tucked a strand of hair behind one ear, something she often did when she was nervous.
Bessie clearly picked up on this. A devious smile let up her features. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
"So how's Alex doing?"
Bessie knew her sister was trying to change the subject, but chose not to say anything. "Good. He's already asleep in his room, so you won't be stuck babysitting."
"Thank god for small favors," Joey said dryly.
Not that she didn't love her brother, because she did; she just didn't feel like dealing with him at this point in time.
Making their say upstairs, they stopped at the guestroom where Joey was staying. It was strange, to be a guest in the house where she had spent so much of her young adult life. When they stopped at the doorway, she turned to Pacey. "I'm actually getting kind of tired," she said, yawning. The days events were wearing down on her, and she was only now starting to realize it.
"Okay, Jo, I guess I'll see you later."
He turned to go, but she stopped him. Reaching out for his hand, she pulled him to her.
"No, that's not what I meant," she whispered. "Pace, I want you to stay. Here. With me. Tonight."
He looked at her, clearly trying to read into whatever subtext she might be sending. "Are you sure?"
She nodded her head. "I don't think I can be alone. Correction; I don't [I]want[/I] to be alone."
Moving closer to her, he brought his lips to hers. Almost on instinct her mouth opened; their tongues tangling together. She grasped the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
After the kiss, their faces lingered inches apart. Joey breathed deeply, savoring the moment as if it were her last. She wanted to live the rest of her life that way. That's something Jen had taught her, and she wouldn't forget it. "I'm sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
His hand went to the doorknob, pulling it open.
With that, the two of them stepped into the room, ready to see where the night led them.
Summary: A post-finale fic that chronicles P/J's life together as well as fill in some of the missing blanks. Just how did Pacey and Joey come to be sitting on that couch together? Read on and see.
Disclaimer: Dawson's Creek and its characters don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them to do my bidding. ;)
~*~
Folding her arms around her waist, Joey leaned awkwardly against the oak wall of the Ice House, shivering as the salty Capeside wind assaulted her. She felt barren, stripped of her usual defenses. It had only been hours since Jen's funeral, and already it seemed like a lifetime. So much had happened, so much had changed; it was only now beginning to catch up with her.
"Jo? You still out here?"
Pacey's gentle voice shook her from her thoughts, and she looked up. "Yeah," she said, standing up. "You didn't think I was going to leave, did you?"
This was the first time they had been alone since their conversation earlier that afternoon. The conversation where many things had been left unsaid. She had wanted to speak with him before now, but so many things kept getting in the way. The wake, for starters. People hadn't started clearing out until late; leaving only Pacey and a few waiters behind to clean up. Joey had agreed to stick around until he had time to talk, although Pacey insisted that she go home and get some rest. In the end, Joey had ended up winning. The past few hours had been spent sitting around outside munching on veggies and crab dip, contemplating the day's events.
"With your stubborn streak? Nah," he chuckled, shooting her a sideways glance out of the corner of his eye. Then, taking in her disheveled appearance, his tone turned serious. "You really didn't have to stick around, though. This could have waited until morning."
Joey shook her head, touched that he showed such concern for her. "I wanted to talk about this now. I'm tired of waiting, it feels like I've been waiting years to have this conversation."
"I know what you mean. It's just." Pacey struggled to find the right words, nervously toying with the cuff of his shirt. "I guess I was worried that you had changed your mind, and I wanted to live with the fantasy just a little bit longer."
"Pace! How could you even think that?" She moved over to where he was standing, grasping his hands within her own. She felt his fingers tremble slightly, and she held onto them tighter. "Everything I said before still holds true. We never got to finish our conversation, but I think it was pretty obvious what I was going to say."
"Cut the suspense, Jo. You're killing me," Pacey laughed, squeezing her hands. Joey was overcome with sudden warmth, and she felt a smile spread across her face. Overhead the sun was beginning to set; the sky a purplish tint. Capeside had never looked more beautiful than it had at that moment. She felt blessed to have lived here, despite all its ups and downs.
Instead of talking, Joey leaned in and rested her lips against his; wrapping her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. She caught the surprised expression on his face and inwardly smiled. Catching him off guard like this was really quite fun.
The kiss ended, and she pulled back, grinning. "Well?"
"Wow," he breathed.
She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Does that answer your question?"
"I don't know," he tapped his chin, pretending to be deep in concentration. "I think I'm going to need a further demonstration."
"You're never satisfied, are you? We're probably going to end up here all night," she teased playfully.
He growled at her. "Fine by me."
"Pace." she said after a moment, shifting back from his embrace to look him in the eye. "Should we even be doing this? I mean, I just feel so guilty. Jen's funeral was only today."
"You have nothing to feel guilty over," Pacey assured her, gently massaging her shoulders. She groaned, feeling her muscles relax. It had been such a long day, and his fingers felt so good-
"I know, it's just."
"Jen would want you to be happy," he pointed out. "That's the type of person she was. Always putting others needs ahead of her own."
Joey nodded, thinking how much that sounded like Jen.. "Do you know what her dying wish was? To have me finally make a choice, to move on with my life and be happy. She was lying there; about to die in a few hours and all she could think about was-" she choked back a sob, her throat tightening. "God," she said, her voice shaking. "I really miss her."
Pacey wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body into a comforting hug. She felt sobs wrack her body as she leaned against him. "So do I. I can't even believe she's gone. It just. it doesn't seem real, you know?"
Joey nodded, tears clouding her vision. Her hands trembled as she brushed a wayward strand of hair back into place. "It hasn't quite set in for me either. I don't think it ever will. I just keep thinking about all the missed opportunities; all the time we could have spent together but didn't. She tried so hard to be my friend, but, being the jealous wench that I am, all I could do was push her away."
"That's not true, Jo," Pacey took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You were young, and so what if you let some teenage hormones get the best of you? We've all been there. I'm sure Jen never held it against you. In fact, I know she didn't."
Tears filled Joey's eyes, but this time they were of the grateful kind. "Thanks, Pace. I don't know how you've managed to stay so strong throughout all of this."
"If you only knew how many times I was close to breaking down throughout all of this-"
"But you haven't," Joey interrupted, brushing her thumb against his cheek. "You've just been this amazing person. And honestly, without you, I don't know if I would have lasted this long."
"That's not true, Jo. You're a strong person. You'd have gotten through this just fine without me."
Joey shrugged, not looking convinced. "Maybe," she said, before pausing for a moment. "But I'm glad I didn't have to."
"That makes two of us," he said, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. She giggled. "What?" he asked.
"It's just. you always know how to make me feel better. I can only imagine the depressing slump I would have been in right now if it weren't for you."
"Glad I could help take your mind off things," he said, stroking her hair. "So what have you been doing these last few hours while you've been waiting for me?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing much. Did a lot of thinking. About. us, mostly. I know that sounds selfish, to be thinking of my relationship problems at a time like this, but I couldn't help it. I kept thinking about that conversation we never got to finish." She fidgeted nervously, unsure.
"I would be lying if I said I didn't think about you nearly every second of the day."
His kind words caused her to blush. "Pace, I really want this to work. I-I called Christopher, you know. He's no longer an issue. But, I don't think that's the only thing we have to worry about." She chewed on her lip nervously, a thousand thoughts flying through her head. He wasn't going to like this, but it had to be addressed. They couldn't just sweep it into a corner and pretend it didn't exist. That's what had gotten them in trouble the last time.
"What?" Pacey asked, his voice betraying his fear.
"Well, there's always the issue of living arrangements." Joey shifted nervously, not wanting to discuss this. She just wanted to enjoy her happiness with Pacey, not dwell on problems she wasn't even sure could be fixed. "I'm living in New York, and you have your restaurant here, so where does that leave us?"
"That does provide some difficulties," he agreed.
"Pace, I can't ask you to pack up and move to New York just to be with me. You've built an entire life here, I can't do that to you-"
"That's not exactly your choice to make," he said softly, pain flashing across his face. She knew how much this was hurting him, but she didn't know what else to do. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place.
"I'm not going to let you wreck your life just to be with me."
"You wouldn't be wrecking my life; you would be making it better. Other opportunities will present themselves, Jo. I'll find another job. But I'm afraid I'm never gonna find anybody I love as much as you. I'm afraid that if we part ways now, we'll never get another chance at this. So please, let me decide what's best for me."
Joey nodded, turning towards him. He seemed so confident in what he was saying, so sure. "Okay, Pace, if you're sure you really mean this."
"I do."
A lopsided smile traced the corners of her lips. "Then who am I to argue with you?"
He grinned, his face seeming to relax. She was glad they had gotten that out of the way - now they could move onto making better, happier memories. So much sadness had occurred in the past few days, she wasn't sure if she could handle anymore grief.
Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her waist; picking her up and spinning her around. She squealed wildly, beating on his shoulders in protest. In reality, she could have continued spinning forever. The world spun around her in a dizzying blur, and she gave wild laugh before he set her back down again.
"Are you insane?" she asked giddily once she was firmly back on the ground. Attempting to compose herself, she let out a long breath, feeling calm wash over her.
He draped an arm across her shoulders before flashing her a cocky smile. "Maybe. But you love me anyway."
She pretended to make a gagging motion with her fingers, all the while knowing what he said was the truth. "Ugh, don't remind me. I guess the saying is true, you really don't get to choose who you fall in love with. In my case, love is blind, deaf [I]and[/I] dumb."
Picking up his jacket, he slung it over the back of her shoulders. "C'mon, let's get out of here."
"Translation: I'm horny and can't wait to get you into bed."
"Shut up."
She rolled her eyes. "Is it my fault that I happen to be in tune with the inner workings of the male mind?"
For the next while, they both remained in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company.
Walking along the streets of Capeside, hand and hand, Joey was struck by how nice this all was. How normal. As if they were an old married couple, out for a stroll on a perfectly normal day. It seemed like no time had passed at all since they had last seen each other. She couldn't believe it had actually been several months.
They stopped outside the Potter B&B where Joey was currently staying with Bessie. She turned to face him, smiling soothingly. He looked hesitant, as if uncertain whether or not he should enter. "Come inside," she urged, her voice a gentle whisper in the chilly ocean breeze.
Still looking unsure, he frowned. "I'm not sure if I should."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to get any unrealistic expectations about what the night may bring." He forced a smile, but she knew he was only humoring her. She knew how serious he truly was.
"Pace, let's just go upstairs, sit by the bed, and talk. Maybe we'll even throw in some cocoa if we're really feeling daring." She cracked a grin, trying to lighten the mood.
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to-"
"Hey," she said, squeezing his hand. "It's okay. I'm perfectly alright with where this night may or may not lead. Let's just go with the flow and not worry so much about things."
Pacey nodded. He gripped her hand tightly, running his fingers over her knuckles. "You're right. I'm being foolish."
Making their way up the walkway, they noticed that the porch light was on. Bessie must still be up, Joey figured.
Sure enough, she was there to greet them when they knocked at the door.
"Hey, you two," she said coyly, ushering them inside. "Come inside. Man, it's freezing out here."
"Yeah." Joey shrugged off Pacey's jean jacket, depositing it on a coat hanger.
"But I suppose you two didn't notice."
Pacey and Joey exchanged a glance.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Joey asked, trying to sound innocent. She tucked a strand of hair behind one ear, something she often did when she was nervous.
Bessie clearly picked up on this. A devious smile let up her features. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
"So how's Alex doing?"
Bessie knew her sister was trying to change the subject, but chose not to say anything. "Good. He's already asleep in his room, so you won't be stuck babysitting."
"Thank god for small favors," Joey said dryly.
Not that she didn't love her brother, because she did; she just didn't feel like dealing with him at this point in time.
Making their say upstairs, they stopped at the guestroom where Joey was staying. It was strange, to be a guest in the house where she had spent so much of her young adult life. When they stopped at the doorway, she turned to Pacey. "I'm actually getting kind of tired," she said, yawning. The days events were wearing down on her, and she was only now starting to realize it.
"Okay, Jo, I guess I'll see you later."
He turned to go, but she stopped him. Reaching out for his hand, she pulled him to her.
"No, that's not what I meant," she whispered. "Pace, I want you to stay. Here. With me. Tonight."
He looked at her, clearly trying to read into whatever subtext she might be sending. "Are you sure?"
She nodded her head. "I don't think I can be alone. Correction; I don't [I]want[/I] to be alone."
Moving closer to her, he brought his lips to hers. Almost on instinct her mouth opened; their tongues tangling together. She grasped the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
After the kiss, their faces lingered inches apart. Joey breathed deeply, savoring the moment as if it were her last. She wanted to live the rest of her life that way. That's something Jen had taught her, and she wouldn't forget it. "I'm sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
His hand went to the doorknob, pulling it open.
With that, the two of them stepped into the room, ready to see where the night led them.